zoologically improbable

Alice is a weenie! (29, bi, any pronouns) Feel free to ask me to tag things. Icon by gaygothur Absolutely no TERFs, transphobes, pedos, Nazis, etc. allowed.

[liarsblade]

It's so obvious that a lot of people on here are inexplicably convinced that bad books are a recent invention

[barstoolblues]

turn up the harpsichord i cant hear the harpsichord

[daughter-of-sapph0]

come hither, my loyal knight

a little closer

perfect

*baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you*

[hail-the-villainess]

*clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang*

[not100bees]

Hi there we're a group of queer housemates. We're looking for a new roomie to share some of the rent. You'll live in the infinitely expanding labyrinth of madness that used to be the basement. Rent is $7,000 a month which we feel is very generous because of the square footage you would have (infinite).

[stupittmoran]

[supreme-leader-stoat]

Don't forget the wedding invite his in-laws put out for his wedding.

[tempered-grace]

very funny to me that calories is legit just a measure of energy. you can convert it to joules. (4186 joules in one kcal). really drives home the absurdity of diet culture.

[dollgirllandsknecht]

She has over 4 megajoules of energy.

and this little lady is only 4 Calories

[homophobla]

Twice a year in Hawaii the sun passes directly overhead and objects cast no shadow. It’s a phenomenon called “Lahaina Noon”

[phoenix-theurge]

You're full of shit, Hawaiians are just able to levitate coconut milk.

[dirty-noona]

As a Native Hawaiian, 1) I thought this happened everywhere, 2) ofc we can levitate coconut milk

[velvetvexations]

Weird Fantasy (1950) #18 written by Al Feldstein and drawn by Joe Orlando, with editor Bill Gaines

[velvetvexations]

So he said it can't be a Black. So I said, "For God's sakes, Judge Murphy, that's the whole point of the Goddamn story!" So he said, "No, it can't be a Black". Bill just called him up and raised the roof, and finally they said, "Well, you gotta take the perspiration off". I had the stars glistening in the perspiration on his Black skin. Bill said, "Fuck you", and he hung up.

Al Feldstein, Tales of Terror: The EC Companion

[iconuk01]

Just to add context for those not aware of the impact of this story.

The reason it was so important for narrative purposes, was that the plot concerns the visit of the Astronaut, in his completely opaque spacesuit, to a planet populated entirely by self-aware robots (originally from Earth) who have built their own society and are petitioning to be allowed to interact with Earth again as equals.

They have a democratic government and free choice of careers etc. as the orange robot serving as guide tells the Astronaut.

The Astronaut notices that there are two different types of robot on this world; the orange ones, who are in charge, gifted access to all information and facilities. and the blue robots, who are seen as more limited in function, have less access to information and resources, and are not allowed positions of power or as wide a choice of employment opportunities. Even transportation is segregated.

The Astronaut investigates further and discovers that the blue and orange robots are actually structurally identical, there is absolutely no difference between their potential or capabilities, and it is only because the orange robots are instructed by their Educator system to consider themselves superior, that the difference exists.

The Astronaut tells the robots they are not ready for re-alignment with Earth, until they come to terms with their own unfairness, and how Earth had had to deal with this issue themselves. When that time comes, the robots will be able to ally with Earth.

Then he leaves in his spaceship, and it's only in that one final panel that we see the Astronaut is black.

Not subtle, nor should it be, but for 1950 this was a breathtakingly powerful statement, perhaps the first of it's kind in the genre.

The black character was not a caricature, or comedy relief, he was a main character in his own right, a human who "simply" was black.

[assortedinsanities]

Ok, but this story is sadly revolutionary even now. That is not just a human who happens to be black, as far as every other character in this story is concerned this is the most important, maybe even the only human they ever see, who happens to be black.

As depressing as that is, but a black person just casually representing the entirety of humanity is a breathtakingly powerfull statement even today, a quarter of a century later.

[about-faces]

[anarchistmemedistro]

*a breathtakingly powerful statement even today, three quarters of a century later

[shiftythrifting]

so kinda cheating but i work in a goodwill processing donations and here's some of my favorites so far (not all made it to the floor unfortunately)

incredible

[lilyblisslys]

friend of mine posted this in our discord and now I’m constantly being accused of engaging in barn gossip (they’re right)

[unpretty]

pro tip “he freed his erection” is the most useful phrase in any smut writer’s arsenal because it means never having to figure out a dude’s pants situation. how did he do it? were there zippers? buttons? some kind of bizarre lacing situation? maybe he cut off his pants with scissors. maybe it was a wizard. maybe it busted out like the hulk busts out of his shirts. no one knows. no one cares. his dick is out now and that is all that matters. thank you helpful dick wizard.

[unpretty]

happy ten year anniversary to the dick wizard

[official-penis-posts]

The penis

The penis has been freed

yes

YES

the penis is out

[quixoticclown]

Yes, these Muppets have taken Manhattan. The question now is can they HOLD it

[moishe-pipick]

[stalinita]

Okay, yeah, "annoying" them is funny (they don't really give a fuck, I mean, let's be honest, they're just here to kill and torture), I'm here for it, but it doesn't actually do anything...we need to be violent. Violence is what creates change. You can be as annoying as you want, but that's all you're doing. Being annoying. I'm tired of pacifists

[eri-katsuragi]

Poison their drinks and food. Deny them insurance. Lose their doctor's appointments. Overcharge them by exorbitant amounts. Cut their break lines. Damage their fuel tank. Puncture their tyres. Clog their exhaust pipe. Give them false information that will lead to them getting harmed or killed (ie lead them to an empty residence that is trapped, has a gas leak or structurally unsound). Aim extremely bright lights at their eyes to blind them. Play ear-drum rupturingly loud sounds to deafen them. Find every single piece of personal information you can on them and share it as publicly as possible.

[theamazingspiderman]

There’s no containing him.

[3000s]

Yes, your dentist can absolutely tell if you masturbated at home before your appointment. And in fact, a shower and change of clothes does little to hide this. The best step forward is to apologize to your dentist for masturbating.

[plantanarchy]

still fuckin hate that “bee-free honey” that’s made from……… apples. bitch who you think sexed up those apples

[nihilistwife]

A farmer, by hand and with love and care

[plantanarchy]

wild bees still sexin em up when he’s not looking

[nihilistwife]

old mccuckhold had a farm it seems

[jimbles-archive]