at least when you get an art block you can still search up poses to draw the characters in even if you feel uninspired, but when you get writer's block every single word you write just feels like shit like you're trying too hard 💔 what can you even do
i can't take this anymore. What's the opposite of an art/writer's block. The day before yesterday, i was cooking up unhealthy relationship tiiv with the amnesia trope. Yesterday, i switched up to drawing tiiv actor au. Right now, I'm in the middle of writing an a/b/o tiiv fic. what the fuck
longingly scrolling through my old acc and Man i miss watching r3 for the first time and obsessing over his emo song with the 10 other people who were also watching alnst
tiiv merman (?!) au ideas i had while doing this beautiful mermaid picrew.
above is ivan before and after till<3
okay this is mostly a nothingburguer ramble buttt. i imagine ivan pre meeting till living a caged life of sorts. he has looong hair (which he doesn't really like, it feels like dead weight to him) and jewelry that further enhances his beauty and some that symbolize how trapped he is; resembling nets, just like the armband on the first pic. moving on, i also feel like he'd be pale to point at the idea that he's surreal. everything about him is unrealistic (unattainable?)
idk whether to have till and ivan as childhood friends or not (i really like the idea that tiiv absolutely need to have known each other since they were kids in every au ugh) and i don't know what could be the reason that led to till capturing him… in a setting they are estranged, i feel like ivan would be spiraling because there's no till around to anchor him and show him what's it like to not yield despite the circumstances. hes controlled in every way, so he's definitely apathetic—perhaps he purposely let himself be caught because his current situation was already bad enough? idk yet
moving on, after till and ivan establish their little life together… ivan would finally get a haircut, the only reason he didn't ask till to cut it even shorter was because he remembered how till said his long hair was beautiful (so he could reconcile with medium.) (till only said it once but once was enough) PLUS. he loves having till braid his hair, he has two braids simply because it means having till spend even longer close to him, right in front of him, doing his hair everyday.
ivan's not the only loverboy. i feel like till would be soooo jealous. here i have this alluring man all for myself i MUST stake my claim on him. he lets it be known ivan's his by giving him these handmade jewelry he spends hours, days doing; some are even the color of his own eyes, cyan. ivan's definitely not complaining, even if he is a bit too dumb (rather, in denial) to realize that this is all intentional on till's part.
till depicts ivan as a betta fish, right? they're known as extremely territorial beings—lonely, even. therefore, ivan is aware of how to guard his territory, so he'd notice till's doings, but he wouldn't be able to pinpoint why he's doing this (self-hatred goes hard. also, with him being a betta fish, i now like to imagine that being withdrawn from others is even another layer to his untouchable persona—he probably never formed a meaningful connection with anyone before—so in turn, this makes him awkward around people.)
omg wait. awkward ivan. imagine till introducing ivan to his close friends and hes like. super shy. well he's also definitely feeling insecure and ugly and possessive and jealous and replaceable but just imagine him not knowing what to say and acting like a little weirdo bc he lacks social cues so cute omg play ballad of a homeschooled girl (on a second thought, ivan hardly feel any shame so turn it off)
uhh i didn't expect this to get this long.. there'll probably be a part 2? but don't count on it to be soon.. when and If i do post it, it'll be with a drawing of ivan's merman design <3 and further detailing on how i like to imagine this au going, even if i most definitely won't ever write a fic about it (id actually love to, but i have enough on my plate already and i read waaay too little stuff centered around mermaids to really know how to write a whole story on them TT)
omg its been barely 24hrs since zomst dropped and sua's already getting the ivan treatment for the kiss all while im here feeling envy bc i want obsessed till too 😭😭😭😭
MAN LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO MIZISUA LMAAAAOO I AM NOOOOOOT FUCKING WATCHING IVANTILLS ROUND OR ELSE IM K♡LLING MYSELF WHAT WAS THAAAAATT THEYLL FUCK THEM UP
saw an old school friend the other day that i used to share BL recs with. she saw the tillivan plushies on my bag and was like "aww they're so cute, are they a couple?"
i shrug. It's Complicated.
she continues. "hmm. which one's the—wait."
i waited. on the edge of my seat.
"let me guess," she squints her eyes and really i was tense. you know how it is. there's a pregnant pause. "the black haired one's the uke, right?"
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