en garde fuckboy

dolla dolla bills

[folieaduck]

hi its me from ur past

hi isha

[meatswitch-deactivated20231107]

What's gender?

[chuckecheeses]

Ghost type Pokémon, he’s purple and fat :)

[buffysummers]

What did you say, ma’am?

[spider-mann]

Sebastian Stan with a puppy for Entertainment Weekly

[folieaduck]

My Brain: Eat

Me: Okay, what should we make?

My Brain: No make!!! Only eat.

[afterdearest]

my last two brain cells watching me make bad life decisions 

[snorlaxatives]

that little chunk of chocolate at the bottom of the drumstick cone reblog if you agree

[paprika]

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSS

[strippedfrommyhuman]

celestial // pt. 2

trauma blog. feel free to rb.

kink, cgl, ddlg, etc, do not interact.

[tastefullyoffensive]

Paras is lovely this time of year.

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

someone: *sends me a 6 minute video* me *35 seconds later*: haha that was very funny!thank you for sending it

[trust-me-im-satan]

when people start getting close to your friends

[maxheron]

That’s it. That’s the best tweet. We can all go home now.

[africant]

[localstarboy]

That man shook her entire existence with that “who dis” text 😂

[goldensweetcheeks-deactivated20]

That was cute 😂😂😂

[spicy-blanket]

>be me

>about 13 years old

>basically naivete incarnate still

>just discovered the world of fanfiction.net

>have an account and a few stories posted so far

>currently working on a fanfic of Spirited Away

>get a comment one day

>commenter asks if I can put lemons in my story

>I think it’s an odd request but will do anything to please a fan

>write the next chapter acknowledging the lemon request and say that the chapter WILL CONTAIN LEMONS

>about halfway through the chapter I wrote a giant duck running past the protagonist with an armful of lemons

>duck says “MY lemons” then runs off

>feel pleased with myself at having granted my fan’s request

>years later I find out there’s another meaning for lemon in the fanfic world

>lemons are sex scenes

>my commenter was asking me to put a sex scene in my story

>at 13 years old I unintentionally trolled the shit out of some random person

>whoops

[hellometalhusband-deactivated20]

Never has a Tinder profile given me so much pure joy before.

[andreauxminyard]

my femme girlfriend: [hour and a half later] ok I’m ready to leave the house

me: [throwing on shorts and a tank top] okay baby i love you and you look so pretty

[wrook]

My overdressed butch ass: [hour and a half later] ok I’m ready to leave the house

My femme girlfriend: [throwing on a sundress and head scarf] okay baby I love you and you look so handsome

[piscesenergy]

Me: [after spending 6 hours on my hair and makeup] Babe I’m ready to head out now

My femme wife: [who has also taken 6 hours] Okay babe I love you I’m ready and your highlight is poppin severely but you need to blend that contour in a little bit

Me: [fixing her eyebrows] I love you

[thehalfricanhoodpoet-deactivate]

this post fixed my brows and cleared my skin