the look of love, or evolution of hikaru’s gaze
since we got the scene of hikaru watching yoshiki at the beach in episode 12, i have seen a lot of people compare it to the ed scene of yoshiki and hikaru, to show how hikaru wasn’t looking at yoshiki when he turned around, while hikaru has been looking at him even before he turned around. and it got me thinking.
it got me thinking of baby yoshiki and hikaru at the festival, watching fireworks. you know those magical lights that fly up to the sky and explode against the tapestry of the vast darkness? the beautiful, fleeting lights that every child is fascinated by, and watches with amazement in their eyes? well, apparently every child but hikaru, who instead turns to the side to watch yoshiki, and how the fireworks reflect in his eyes—how they make his eyes sparkle. his eyes fall to the boy by his side, even though there’s ‘magic’ in the sky. and to me, that is a moment of pure adoration and love that’s so easy to see in children, because they simply cannot help themselves.
then, somewhere along the way, hikaru learns what it means to be an indou. he learns all about the sin of his ancestors, and how he has to now carry their sin of loving too much, once upon a time, to the top of a mountain, just to beg for forgiveness. he learns that to love too much is a sin. he also learns that if he ever falls for someone, he has to marry them right away, so that unuki-sama doesn’t take them away. and i cannot imagine how isolating that must feel.
so, hikaru learns to love less. learns to look without being noticed.
then, hikaru goes to the mountain to beg for forgiveness. but the lonely boy, who could not cast his gaze away from his friend all those years ago, dies before he can fulfil his duty. so he makes a wish instead. for anything to stay by yoshiki’s side.
and hikaru fulfils his wish. and not only does he stay by his side, he also learns to love him in his own way. hikaru who doesn’t know societal norms. hikaru who doesn’t have all of hikaru’s memories at first. hikaru who doesn’t know about the indou’s sin. hikaru who doesn’t know that love has bounds and restrictions in the human world. hikaru who doesn’t even know what love is. that hikaru feels hikaru’s emotions in their purest form. and he builds on them.
so really, it goes from watching lights dance in yoshiki’s eyes as hikaru, to watching his soul shine brighter than any star in the night sky as hikaru. but both are equally loving in their own way. and both, unsurprisingly, happen during night time, where the darkness can be a place of unbound adoration—where eyes linger longer than they should, and where souls recognise the burning warmth of one another.
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