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@fontaspiec-blog
“People are so afraid of variety that they try to fit everything into a tiny little box with a specific label,” says 16-year-old Rosie King, who is bold, brash and autistic. She wants to know: Why is everyone so worried about being normal? She sounds a clarion call for every kid, parent, teacher and person to celebrate uniqueness. It’s a soaring testament to the potential of human diversity.
TED TALK: ROSIE KING
We sat down with several high-functioning autistic people and asked them what our readers should know about their condition. Here's what they said ...
Please read this if you can, this is so important to understand as it shapes the lives of so many people (including me)
reblogging
PS. I kind of think that a few films have gotten it (aspergers/autism) quite right. The majority & the popular ones though yes, focus too much on only the one kind of stereotypical aspie. So only parts of what aspergers is, is visible in the fictional characters created.
Reblog if you have OCPD
I saw a post about OCD earlier in which someone commented something like “yeah this is the *real* ocd, not when you…” and listed one of the symptoms of OCPD that I really struggle with.
It just made me feel alone and unwanted and like they thought I was a fake or a loser. I’m just really in my head and could use some reassurance that I’m not as alone as I feel…
I have been given the diagnosis of OCPD (not OCD!), so reblogging
Totally scientific poll
LIKE if you are or know somebody who is an X-Phile and is or thinks they might be on the autistic spectrum/Aspergers. REBLOG if you are a nice person who wishes to help me increase the reliability of this study by increasing the sample size.
I qualify: .xphile since mid-1990s, (kind of diagnosed) aspie since 2000s (officialy given another diagnosis, only because no one can/wants to remember me as a child, so the criteria for AS diagnosis was not conclusive for the doc I went to - proof of aspie behaviour since birth, but the “rehabilitation services program” I was referred to treats me as an aspie, and united me with the only other local female aspie back then when I first started seeing that therapist.)
Reblogging, because this has not as many notes it should or could. And to tell the story behind my LIKE-ing of the post.
Acceptance
It looks like on Tumblr there’re lots of people diagnosed (or self-diagnosed) with autism/asd/ocd/mental disorder in general, who are happy and proud.
I suppose not everyone of you is a genius with a pretty normal social life, a good job or perfect grades in school. So, please, enlighten me. Why are you so proud of yourself? Because I’m struggling with this since I was a kid and I’d give literally everything to be just normal. My adolescence was pretty shit because of this, and my childhood even worse, but if I’d born/grew up normal everything’d have been probably fine, so I really don’t understand.
I’m used to not understand why people say what they say, I hate it and I can’t help but asking. So, please, can anyone come here and explain?
And, bear in mind, I’m not angry, shit talking or saying that you’re faking it - I know sometimes people feel attacked even when they’re not - really. I just really need to understand why.
I do not know the answer to your question, so I cannot really help.
But from what I have understood, then the people who are happy and proud about themselves (no matter if they are neurotypical, autistic, disabled...) have just accepted themselves the way they are. Who are okay with who they are, and what they have/do not have (in case of autism certain “abilities” and “disadvantages”), and what the world is.
We all have “flaws”. Autistic people. Neurotypical people. Everyone. The key is to not look at them as something that gives you disadvantage, or something that means you cannot be okay with those sides of you. I think these people have just found that key to not care. How and why...I do not know.
But a lot of it has to do, in my opinion, in not believing the “movie/media truths” about what things should be like. Including your looks, behaviour and life. If you understand that everything is just made-up, then you do not compare yourself to someone else, and when you stop comparing yourself to some “standard” that your or the media has come up with, then you do not feel like you are “less”
I guess some people look at the not having friends or work, because of not knowing how to “read people” and not being good at socializing/working in crowded environments not thinking it means they are lacking of something. But being ok without friends, and not getting a job can be looked at as not disaster, but just ok events/as things simply are.
These are people, who like themselves as they are - even if by some made up standards they look ugly, have no social skills, do not get good grades or have a steady job. People compare themselves, “apples”, to other peoples “pears”, when just these fruits, we are also all different, and cannot be measured by the same standards all.
And also that having all these things (besides the fact that no job means no food/roof over head) means nothing - these are not the things that actually define people. The media has just made people think that there are certain standards and “ideals” ...and so all the apples in the world want to become pears, when that is not who they are, and then they are sad because they “failed”, when they were never meant to succeed...
Accept yourself as you are, do not compare yourself to others (your skills, knowledge etc to others), and be okay with what you have (instead of wishing to have more, or different “personality, skills....whatever”), and not see the things that bother you as disadvantage. But just as who and what you are. Also find (think about) your so called strengths, and focus more on those.
We, the a/Autistic community, need to stop equating “intelligence” with worth. Intellectually/cognitively disabled a/Autistics exist. Intellectually/cognitively disabled people are just as worthy of respect as anyone else. All disabled people deserve the same dignity that non-disabled people do.
Further reading: “The Mismeasure of Man” by Stephen Gould (I read the revised version)
http://disabledfeminists.com/2009/10/23/ableist-word-profile-intelligence/ http://www.autistichoya.com/2012/07/on-ableism-in-autism-and-autistic.html https://eateroftrees.wordpress.com/2011/08/31/intelligence-is-ableist-but-not-for-the-reason-you-think/
http://www.apa.org/monitor/2009/01/assessment.aspx http://www.jstor.org/stable/3789553? http://www.publiceye.org/magazine/v09n1/eugenics.html
I might have misunderstood something, but here is my comment:
IQ tests are done in all countries, and in all languages, not just in the USA & in English. And someone, who lives in France & speaks French can do the test in French. Someone living in China in Chinese. And so on. You do not have to take the test in English, a foreign/second language. (I did mine in my first language) So...unless you choose to do so, there is no disadvantage from language barrier.
So proud of the other aspergirl in my city.
She is now doing seminars/workshops for NTs about “What would it be like for NTs to live in an Aspie world”. Basically she gives lectures to neurotypicals, and shares the aspie pov of the world. What it is like to live in a neurotypical world as an aspie. And how if the world would be made for aspies, how “hard” would it be for NTs to “fit in”. Basically showing what it means, and how if things were reversed, NTs would realize it is not “easy”. Educating people. Broadening their view. Making them understand what it actually means to “be different” and what living in a world not made suitable for you is like.
(And the things aspies “need” are not just “moods” that “you should get over with/deal with” which is what many “hf” aspies, like she and I, are thought to have. Be it about freaking out about not having a certain seating place or lighting, or anything else.)
man it really gets on my nerves that when I google stuff like “Tips for traveling when youre autistic” all I get is stuff by written by non-autistic parents! Please let autistic people’s voices be heard…
I have not googled that (until right now, and yes page 1 is only for parents, but perhaps on page 25 there is something else?) and my logic might be wrong here, but isnt it necessary for actually autistic people to write and post those tips online for you/others/us to read them?
If there are no tips posts online by autistic people (and not by friends and family members of autistic people), then does that not mean autistic people do not post that many/any tips? Otherwise...would those tips not be clicked and read more, and therefore show up first when you google something? Or is my logic very flawed here?
I support the idea that autistic people write and post all sort of “tips/how to..” posts online. Only that way can the voices be heard.
that autism feel when you can’t stand certain foods for their texture or taste or how generally wrong they taste, and people proceed to force you to eat the things even when there’s a risk of you vomiting from eating it, making the whole thing worse
I’m actually more scared of this happening while I’m in the hospital next week, than the actual surgery I’m having. O_o
This!
PS. please don't read under cut, if you have to go to the hospital or other place soon, where food options are very limited.
Changes
Especially in the past few years (like last five years or so) both my eyesight and memory have gone way worse.
Hos does it manifest:
My eyesight keeps getting worse year-by-year, and it is now not growing so much in numbers (in medical terms I have high myopia, which means my eyesight is worse than -6diopters. In my case it is double in that... - 12)
I keep making more and more typos when I type on the keyboard. I re-read everything, but most of the time I still have so many errors. I “rearrange letters” in words, I “replace letters” in words. House becomes Huose. Tablet becomes Tablit. I have noticed, though, that I make less errors when typing in English. But whenever I re-read my e-mails written in my mother tongue (to “family and friends)” when reading the reply I see all the errors. And sometimes the words make no sense at all. Railroad has become Ralerood. It is that horrible. Yet my eye doctor says everything is perfect! (meaning: as perfect as someone with my eyesight can have)
I keep mixing up words more and more when speaking. Mostly it is noticed by my 4-year-old niece, when I say “cat” instead of “dog”. Basically switching similar words. Like instead of “I drink coffee” I say "I drink tea”. Perhaps I just notice it the most when I am babysitting her, because she notices everything and points it out when I and others do not notice.
autism problem #128
when people try to stop you from liking what you like because you’re supposed to have “age-appropriate interests”
I’m a 34 year-old woman who plays Magic the Gathering, watches cartoons like My Little Pony, reads comic books, enjoys Pokémon games, and still watches professional wrestling. I’ve had lots of people try to stop my love for things. Fuck them all :) My interests are awesome and make me happy.
This!
I am around the same age.
I have never really understood this type of categorizing. Like certain things are only appropriate to do when you are a teen/an adult or if you are a boy/a girl. How things that actually do not matter on age, gender, or other things like that, are said to be “appropriate” for only certain “groups” of people.
I am in my thirties, and I dress and act like “a teen”. I am emotionally less mature than my 4-year-old niece. I act “childish” all the time. I wear my hair often in “pippi” braids. I can just spontaneously start “dancing/jumping up and down” at times... And while I have never been interested in comic books, cartoons, fairy tale/stories, or video games specifically, i watch other kind of tv shows a lot for example, and make “fandom edits” (though now just whenever I feel like it, not “can you make me a banner?” kind of way).
Luckily i think people have “given up” on getting me to do “age appropriate” things. But yeah, in my late teens and early 20s I had a lot “why don't you hang out with us”, or “why don't you party”, or “why do you do this/that”, and “why don't you do this/ that” and how I should “be an adult”...in lack of better words.
For everyone who is going to go through the autism tag today and tell parents, friends, and family members of autistic children what is wrong with Autism $peaks, please remember to be gentle. These people don’t realize they are doing anything wrong. They aren’t aware that they are hurting autistics. They want to help and bring awareness. I’ve seen plenty of #liub post where they didn’t want a cure they just talked about how much they loved and were proud of their autistic family member. Don’t go out and tell them that they are horrible people, they’re simply misinformed, so let’s inform them in a positive way that will show them the difference between autism awareness and autism acceptance!
This applies to every day of the week, month, and year.
anything with strong smells, anything not from the "i want this/I like these things" list, anything that requires going to big, crowded, noisy places... yes.
Need advice: toddler & teeth brushing
I am addressing this to all parents & care takers of young children,. especially autistic children, and to all autistic people, who remember and know what it was like at age 2-4:
As I have mentioned before I have a 2-year-old nephew. He is showing some mild signs of autism. He does not speak yet (only a few words, including yes/no, but he understand everything perfectly). Which makes communicating with him even harder than it would be with a young child in other cases. He is not always able to express his thoughts at this age correctly anyway, and in his case because he does not speak yet, it is even harder to help him. Since he does not read, write, or use sign language or use any other methods of communication, the only way to know if something is wrong, is to either ask him questions until you ask the correct one (does your hand, foot ear...etc hurt) or if it is something that can be pointed at or shown, he does that.
One of the things that he, like many kids (especially autistic kids) has problems with is brushing his teeth. I, the babysitter, can almost never get him to brush his teeth. His parents say it all depends on the day - on some days he has no objections, on some days he just will not do it. How do I (and his parents, who also do not have a working "idea") get his teeth brushed? Daily. Does anyone have any actual, good tips that can be used? Does anyone know what the problem could be? (other than the too wide term "sensory problems"). Could it be also medical, like blisters or small wounds inside the mouth? Something that happens on some days? Especially if he is ready and willing to brush his teeth on some nights, and absolutely refuses on others. Runs and hides under the bed, cries when he is told he must brush his teeth...etc.
I have not yet asked the right question about why he does not want to brush his teeth. And he is unable to explain it himself.
I know he likes the toothpaste, so that cannot be the problem. But he mainly likes to eat it, because it tastes good (kids toothpaste, with whatever flavour they use to make it appetizing). I do not know how he really feels about his toothbrush. Right now he is using a regular toothbrush. But he just got a vibrating one, too.
I have been reading online and such, and none of the tips help me. I try all the tricks. I use the example method. i do that with everything "new" with him. I brush my teeth, and show how it is done, speaking what I am doing. I give him his toothbrush, I tell him he can brush his teeth himself. I usually ask "or do you want me to do it). I do not force him to brush his teeth.
I also personally have time, so I could go on with him with this routine for an hour if he would have the patience for it (the big sister already understands that she might have to wait a bit to hear the bed time story, when it takes me time to get the evening routine done with her little brother), but i know that even though the kids were planned, my brother & sister-in-law are always too tired to have it on the boys terms. Because if we do it his way. then bedtime routine that I start at 8-8:30 ends at midnight - potty, washing, teeth brushing, bedtime story, sleep...). They do not "have the time" to brush teeth with him for an hour. So if anyone has suggestions what might be the reason, and what might be the trick to get this done, I would appreciate it.
(I personally believe that people, who cannot do it, should not have kids, and i know that is unfair because 99% of humans/parents cannot do it. Physical needs like lack of sleep and other obligations put on adults by modern times like working 8hrs a day in order to pay for living on this earth - shelter, food... - is all it takes for people to not have energy left to actually do the parenting thing correctly, because society believes that no sleep goes only for parents of babies who cannot walk yet, but somehow most do not understand that even if the kid is healthy, it is at least 10-18 years of no sleep)
I am concerned about this hygiene matter, because this can have later consequences for the kid. I myself did not take care of my teeth correctly until sometime in 3rd or 4th grade. And I believe that, along with my poor/wrong diet, and other factors, is the reason why I lost my first tooth permanently at age 16 (torn out, because it was too "sick"), second at age 22. And yes, teeth can be fixed, and re-built (fake teeth), but even if he could afford it, I would prefer if there was some easy trick to prevent that situation.
Only new idea that I got was "reward". I know they did the same thing with my niece and potty training (each time she went to potty, she got a sticker on a paper, and when she had a row of them she got a surprise) Surprisingly I just realized they did not use that technique for the boy. Neither for potty training, or teeth brushing. I am going to suggest it to them. I am also going to ask where the electronic/vibrating new toothbrush is, and why are they not using it (I know they bought it like around new years, but i have not seen it in the bathroom...) Another thing I am thinking of suggesting to his parents is "list of rules", where brushing teeth once a day is a rule, and there are precise instructions - how many seconds, how many strokes, etc to brush his teeth.
High/Low functioning
What is up with all the "high functioning" and "low functioning" talk?
How on earth do people come up with such things to say about low functioning meaning "less of a human", "worse" etc and high functioning meaning "not autistic at all" or "needs no accommodations"
As usual...my opinion differs from the autistic communities opinion here online:
Everyone’s experience on the autism spectrum is different. Therefore, NO ONE gets to judge or dismiss another person’s experience. C’mon, people. If we’re gonna organize a successful autistic community, we have to include EVERYONE’S voices. Not just the more “successful” autistics. We need to help each other out, stop using functioning labels and stop the elitism and exclusion, or there will be autistic people who will be continued to be left in the shuffle.
This is so so very accurate and true.
Everyone gets blamed for their condition
People with depression and other mental illnesses get told that they can get over it with diet, exercize, and positive thinking. They also get blamed for having it, and told that it’s their own fault. This is wrong.
It’s also a common experience of everyone with every condition there is. This is not unique to mental illness.
Everyone with a disability, illness, or other condition gets blamed for it. People with every condition get told that it’s their fault, that they caused it by eating wrong, sleeping wrong, thinking wrong, or not being sufficiently careful.
People with every condition get told that medical treatment is toxic and wrong, and that if they just stop believing big pharma, they’ll recover. Even people with cancer.
People with every condition get told that they’re causing their own problems by being too negative, and that they’d get better if they’d just think positively. Even people with spinal cord injuries.
People with every condition get told that they will be healed if they just have faith and pray hard enough. Even people whose condition is obviously genetic.
People with every condition get told that they’re imagining things. Even people with unmistakable visible physical conditions.
People with every condition face this kind of prejudice. It’s not unique to any group. We should stand together and acknowledge that we all face it, and that it’s wrong to do to anyone.
tl;dr People with every condition get blamed for it and told that things like positive thinking and rejecting big pharma will make everything better. It isn’t unique to mental illness. It’s wrong to do to anyone.
This is true.
What surprises me is that even people who have been diagnosed with certain conditions (depression, cancer), and have gotten better (are not in the darkest place anymore), also believe this.
People who have been diagnosed with depression, say that when they changed their thinking, it got better...or because they are thinking differently, the depression has not returned. When I believe that the conditions have improved - the elements that lead the person to the dark place, have been removed (be it a job, relationship, other problems), and they have been lucky to not have encountered these "triggers" again. People with cancer would rather believe in "deserving" it than using logic and detecting that years of smoking or sunbathing or exposure to certain elements are the more likely cause.
And I look at them and listen to them, and cannot believe what I am hearing. And perhaps it is about me being an aspie, or an atheist, but I think that the whole thing about "positive thoughts cure everything" is the weirdest myth ever. I do not believe in pos./neg. auras/energy.
Somehow no one has an actual answer to question "If wrong/negative thoughts cause illnesses, then how do you explain cancer in infants and pets?" When you ask them in a discussion how they explain that if they believe in this "positivity" thing, then the subject is always changed or something.
I find it weird that this idea (that is being spread like wildfire through self help books, and groups of people believing in this, and spreading the idea) is the one everyone chooses to believe. But then again I find the ideas about many things millions of people believe in, strange. But it is fascinating how one "idea gets to be the globally accepted one.
And I find it weird that people believe in, and tell others that it is all about the thoughts - like being okay with what you have instead of having wishes. I do not think people realize that there is a difference between one person just wanting thick curtains because they want it so, and another person needing these things because of a skin/genetic condition that makes them sensitive to sunlight. Some things, that are out of reach for so many people in this world, are actually basic human needs, not "wanting more than you have, and therefor being unhappy". It is normal to wish to have a warm, clean home, as not having access to clean water, and living in moldy house will most likely make you sick, and in need of medical help. And all the person is doing, is wanting his/her basic human needs/rights to be met, not wishing for luxury things just for fun. Yet sadly most people put everything in one box, and put the same label on all of these people and their "wishes".
But I have also come to a realization that I cannot change peoples thoughts. everyone believes in what they want to. And these beliefs and ideas about illnesses and conditions being "caused" by the people themselves, are so deeply rooted in majorities brains that they have become reality. Even if I truly believe they are not true. And even if I may give in a little, and say that perhaps smiles, and positive thoughts also help, I do not believe these things to be all-powerful. It is more about genetics, cells, microbes, and other elements that determine who, when and how "gets sick". That is what I believe.
