let's do this again

let's do this again. more personal this time.

[idleminds]

[idleminds]

[bestiolin]

ishizuka chie

[sanseterrer]

In the fragrant flowers and bright greenery of delightful May // part 5

[idleminds]

[huariqueje]

Electric Summer Garden Hum - Jeremy Miranda , 2026

American , b. 1980 -

Acrylic on panel , 16. x 20 in.

[for-my-oddeye-only]

2026.07.27 2:56

well, a lot has happened this month. the date should be an indicator, and particularly the time.

lost our job this month. it's still a very weird headspace emotionally because there is this feeling of freedom finally a reality but you were also suddenly taken out of a routine.

suddenly, i don't have to think about work anymore. it's both a relief but also something that is unnatural. i don't know if there's a good thing. i don't even know if that it the word to describe the other half of the picture. but i have spent a good chunk of my adult life working.

i guess i can say that with a sense of pride that i managed to stay consistently employed. and now, because i got laid off, that consistency is gone.

i'm sure i'll be unpacking these feelings further once i've completely detached myself from the chapter, but the process of knowing the underlying truth was harrowing.

you'll be surprised just how people can be, you know? how people change quickly or how you'll never know a person's real character until you do. until something like this happens.

i just think that i'm glad i am going through this with friends. these are the moments when you think... you know, life does look out for you even when it isn't fair to you?

life is still kind, despite its nature of being... as is. it doesn't side with anyone or favor anyone, but life surely knows how to... protect you or ease you into a great change.

the older i get, the more i just understand how life seem to do that. and it truly plays for the long game. i mean, life is the game anyway. it designed itself to be that way.

yeah. i'm just glad to be going through this with friends.

(ah, i got distracted hahahaha)

i do got a lot to think about in terms of what to do next. i honestly have no idea how long i'll be resting, but right now, i'll just focus on all the things i started and will be starting.

gonna think about new zealand, gonna finally get my driver's license, gonna think about taking up early childhood education, gonna find new hobbies or reignite old hobbies! either way... i'm also grateful to have things to do and to put my mind on as i let myself breathe again.

2026... you're... something

[ultimate-one]

[luneri]

[mong-gei-ta]

Fallen Angels (dir. Wong Kar-wai, 1995)

[for-my-oddeye-only]

2026.06.08 23:00

quite an exact time.

well, there's really something about 2026. a lot of losses. a lot of restarting. a lot of changes.

antonia's tatay passed this month. no one prepares you, but at the same time, life sort of does as well. it gives you little signs that something is about to happen.

sometimes, it tells you loudly. often quietly.

i think, even if life can be shocking, on the big moments, it helps you prepare. life is still kind that way, though...the moving forward is always something hard to do.

that's been a thought lately. the double-edged sword that is "life goes on."

it carries so many different meaning and on various degrees of emotion.

it can be optimistic or cruel. either way, it is the truth.

though, i am also reminded that people do see me. and people do care for me. i should learn not to expect anymore, but to simply let the people around me love in their own way.

when i think about how this month is gonna go, there's a lot happening. i guess i need that.

and all of them are not related to work! and i'm happy about that.

oh, i should put that thought here: don't chase happiness. instead, remove that things that don't bring happiness.

also, direction is more important than time.

and yeah, people love you. people love us. why must we deprive ourselves from the love that has followed us all these years?

and why must we deprive ourselves from our own love?

[themisconceptions]

happy together (1997) dir. wong kar wai

[for-my-oddeye-only]

2026.05.09 22:48

amazing how we come around a month later.

and also, that truly felt like a month ago.

truly can't say that things are better, but again, things aren't worse.

i just feel very tired. lowkey cannot believe that my period got super heavy, but i guess that really is my body saying that the workouts have been working haha. because i think i was back in the gym when that last happened.

that was also really bad.

but yeah, am glad that i got my period and all that accumulated stuff in my uterus is making its way out of me.

you know, there is still a part of me that is lowkey yearning for a partner. i mean, in my mind, it's me wanting to lay down on jinki and just quietly be held by him. but like...yeah...that's a feeling i have lately and i don't know if that means i want to have a partner? but...maybe???

maybe, a huge part of me just wants to be taken cared of again. maybe that's it.

i can't believe i am only thinking it's april now when it's fully mid-may. my mind is kinda catching up to present but also not at all. haha.

i really miss brie. i miss having a companion like that.

oh...maybe that's it really. i miss the companionship.

and maybe...now i do wish it was a person.

maybe haha.

but yeah, i want to be taken cared of now. haha.

that warm and loving glow

[ak-nm]

[ahududulugazoz]

[ak-nm]

[pisces-core]