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an archive where i write about the nerdy things i like. also a jp→en tl blog for whatever media i'm into.

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notes → novice fan translator, studying JP → infrequent updates (often busy w/ IRL) → all TLs are for non-profit → screenshots, linking to masterlists = OK → ask me for further inquiries! (via tumblr's message box or marshmallow)

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100-Ten☆Number One!, Rank #89 (a post-event reflection)

Uhh… I didn’t initially plan on doing another top 100 (T100) again.

Five years ago, I went into T100 for Iku Nakatani for the 4th anniversary event in Million Live! Theater Days (Mirishita) — mostly unplanned after going a bit too hard on the first day and I just wanted to see how far I could go at the time.

I had pondered over the idea of doing a “sequel” to this in several ways. Get into the T100 for Kotoha? Get into the T100 for Kotoha and Iku?

I originally planned on doing a T100 attempt for Kotoha for the 8th anniversary event, but college left me extra burnt out and drained, and ranking borders would be higher since she was part of the featured idols on the key visual. I was originally thinking of going for 3.15 million event points, but thankfully I spared myself from doing just that (unhelped when the T100 border for Kotoha had exceeded my final points target)… Instead, I went for top 1000 (T1000) Kotoha and Chizuru with a last day addition of Iku. I ended up managing to get gold titles for my three Million Live! tantous.

When Mirishita started adding the Million Theater Wave series’ B-sides into the game, I wondered when they will add TIntMe!’s B-side “Lilac ni Tsutsumarete” — which meant that I’ll have to deal with a future Momoko rank.

Then suddenly, Million Live’s 13th Live announced that the next game event to include Iku, Momoko, and Tamaki — which surprised me a little bit — alongside Iori, Hibiki, and Yayoi.

Iku’s first ranking SR since 2022. Excuse me, what the hell?

100-Point Reflection

There were a few factors that led to my decision to run this event:

Within the month of May alone, I got two new Michio collaboration art, one Jiro collab art, Kaede and Uzuki being part of the Cinderella Girls election promotional material, and everything in between. Thanks for the birthday gifts, IM@S!

My in-game event record in Mirishita at the time included twelve T2500 event titles, but no single non-anniversary T100 title in my catalog.

I had no idea what I wanted to do nor who to rank for in the upcoming 9th anniversary event.

Timing. I just happened to have loads of free time on that week and I don’t know if I would do it again when I get a job.

Ever since I started taking gacha game events more seriously in 2020, doing event rankings was one of the ways I could do to show my love for my favorite characters at a time I didn’t have much other methods outside of just doing art. I wanted to go higher and higher as a way to “support” my tantous. Top 100 wasn’t as much as a priority due to IRL commitments, so I mostly settled with the second highest points ranking title: top 2500 (T2500).

Each rainbow T2500 title represented an event, a song, and/or an idol I loved. “Deep, Deep Blue” was my very first attempt, albeit by accident at first—later as a trial run. “Arrive You” solidified me being a TIntMe! fan and Producer. “M@STERPIECE” and “The Live Kakumei de SHOW!” were tributes to 765PRO ALLSTARS (and both were Haruka rank), in a way. “Tomorrow Program” and “Give Me Metaphor” were tributes to Iku and Kotoha’s respective Million Theater Generation units which helped made me fall in love with Million Live! in the first place.

Eventually, I had slowly gone on and off from gacha games following Saisuta’s shutdown in 2023, and there was that “tantou unit event ranking revenge” concept I had that involved tiering for my favorite units in Deresute (Ray Distance) in place of my other favorite unit (S.E.M). I may have moved on from it as time went on after getting rank #72 in the “Jubilee” event and that game getting its final event update on its 10th anniversary a year later, leaving any “dream” event idea I had as good as dead.

I did not want to enact the same thing I did in Deresute to Mirishita partly because I felt like doing top 2500 title became a thing I’ve grown accustomed to and less of a challenge to face (unless it’s a Kotoha event), and even then it felt frustrating that I could only get into a lower range with my Cinderella Girls and SideM tantous. After finally getting T2500 titles for each of my ML! girls and 765PRO ALLSTARS twice, it felt like I had done so much already and I might have as well “retired” from event running after Iku’s last ranking SR event. Oh, what a fool I was.

At least time had passed enough that I could say that I didn’t have that same level of pressure and desperation on myself compared to a few years ago. Essentially I was just running this event for the love of the game at this point.

Road to (Tier) Number One…?

“100-Ten☆Number One!” is a fast-paced, Eurobeat-like song composed and written by Hige Driver (and his second ML! song in the IM@S discography), and arranged by Ayato Shinozaki. I liked it so much that it helped kept me powered up through the event.

As for the grind itself. I went back and forth between the event menu and the card/event story mines for jewels. This was more prevalent before and after multis came up. I initially wanted to try going for a funny rank number, but I had a slow start during the first day and it took me days to keep myself above the border line.

I had a funny idea of keeping my Live Skip tickets on the last day with the 5.0x Tickets… then the idea flew out of the window on the last day because I realized that I needed to retain some remaining time for the park attempt.

Speaking of the last day, I scrambled to let my final point count land on a funny number so I tried to aim for 1,393,150 points (knowing that I wouldn’t be able to stick the 1.315 million points landing as I initially thought)… Then I messed up one part of the parking process so I landed at 1,393,155 points in the end.

Gold-Star Stats *might be inaccurate

PLv: 398 → 420.

Jewel count: Roughly 6.7k at start → ???? → raised to 9k → ???? → 4k at end. I’d probably estimate my spendings at around ~20k-25k jewels, but I didn’t keep track of my spending too much. Plus 500 jewels were spent on the daily event shop for MAX Spark Drinks + 5 Auto-Live Passes.

MAX Spark Drinks spent: roughly more than ~60? (not including the 10 drinks I’d get daily in exchange for 250 jewels)

Event song plays: 609

Special Thanks

All I can really say is “arigasankyuu” to the Producers at the Million Live! Discord server for dealing with my occasional ramblings and advice throughout the event period. You know who you guys are.

In hindsight, having my rank (89) be placed in between my two T100 ranks (95 and 72) was a nice fit.

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Happy birthday, Michio. (2026)

It’s difficult for me to find the exact words that fully express the extent of how much my no. 1 tantou idol — Michio Hazama — means to me. Every year, I often ask myself if all of whatever oshikatsu or activities I’m doing would be considered “enough” to not only me, but to other Ps as well.

S.E.M is my favorite unit, but I didn’t start paying more attention to him in particular until “Learning Message” came up in my playlist in late December 2019 during a road trip. Throughout 2020, my love for him grew with each new game event in SideMoba and MStage, and got myself into a habit of drawing art for his birthday every year.

There’s so much I want to create and achieve, and yet I find myself trapped in reminders of my own fears and insecurities of whether anything I create (art, writing, translation, etc.) or do will ever be as “good” compared to others that have had more time, money, or experience than me — worried if I could even be compared to other Ps that may have achieved more than I ever could. I could never get the highest ranks through in-game events, yet I’ve tried to find other ways to express such love in different ways — even when I had to learn to accept them despite my stubbornness.

If my love couldn’t be shown through a game, then through what?

I want to get better at art and translation. I want to get better at expressing myself and my favorites. I want to get better at understanding other Ps. I want to connect with other Ps again like I tried to before and (eventually) gave up because I just wasn’t strong enough.

I feel oddly emotional on his birth month this year. Felt burnt down from the events of my personal life last year and unable to focus and get myself to work on things as I continue to consume YouTube videos over and over again… yet there is still that burning feeling deep down inside me that yearns to push me once more. As I watched over S.E.M’s activities throughout 2025 — from Van Gogh to 10th STAGE to MOIW and seeing Michio get to be part of a cross-branch game for once — I’ve never felt more proud of being not only S.E.M’s Producer… but also as Michio’s Producer by far.

Michio… gives me a reason to keep on creating. To keep moving forward.

Glasses, silver hair and lavender eyes, a serious personality, his gap moe, and an overflow of sincerity. What draws me to him the most is his never-ending passion. He may be the oldest in 315Pro (and the entirety of the IM@S idol cast), but his drive for learning and caring for others (whether it would be towards his students, his family, the comrades he has made in 315Pro, and especially his unitmates + Producer) transcends age itself. Through his time as an idol, he has never stopped growing and is open to try something new… and has become more expressive in conveying such feelings and passion from it that inspires others.

His silent passion is one of the things that drive me forward. I have said it before and I’ll say it again: his burning passion has reminded me of my own passion and the way I want to keep supporting what I love, what kind of person I want to be in the future, and to come back to my own roots even if it meant starting over.

As a Producer, as an artist, and as a person.

Happy birthday, Michio. I’m looking forward to seeing and working with you for another year onward.

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so i missed this, apparently

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UPDATE: tl masterlist site is now up!

until i can properly make my new TL site, i've created a temporary carrd containing a masterlist of my tl work so far! (...i'll add the guideline notes later :tm:)

tl masterlist + sns links: → https://foreigndistance.carrd.co/

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[SideM] Birthday Messages 2025-2026: S.E.M

Reposting from Twitter for the archive’s sake, here is S.E.M’s birthday messages for the 2025–2026 birthday rotation! I also did the birthday lines which was posted on SideM ENG.

(5/14/2026 update: Added Michio’s lines.)

Original Release: 2025/8/8, 2025/9/1, 2026/1/13 Translation: meri

Rui Maita (Aug 8, 2025)

Birthday Message (from SideM_official)

Rui: I didn’t fully notice that the Misters had prepared some sort of surprise. Perhaps, Producer-chan also helped them with the arrangements? I’m glad to have such a happy birthday! Thanks!

IM@S Portal - Office Memory lines Rui: Wow! No way, a surprise!? Misters, since when did you guys set up this party!?

Michio: Today is Maita-kun’s birthday. The surprise setup is perfectly ready.

Jiro: Rui will be arriving at any time now. Oh, maybe I should add more decor over there.

Jiro Yamashita (Sept 9, 2025)

Birthday Message (from SideM_official)

Jiro: Thanks for celebrating my birthday again this year. Although, this “Birthday Boy” sash… Isn’t this a little too extra for an old man? Guess it ain’t that bad for a special day like this, you see.

IM@S Portal - Office Memory lines Jiro: There’s people who celebrate my birthday to this extent… Perhaps getting older isn’t that bad.

Michio: Happy birthday, Yamashita-kun. Let’s keep doing our best this year.

Rui: Donning the “Birthday Boy” sash iiisssss~ Ta-da! It’s Mister Yamashita! ☆

Michio Hazama (Jan 13, 2026)

Birthday Message (from SideM_official)

Michio: I cannot easily imagine the effort you went into arranging the decorations, prepare various dishes, and more every year. Maita-kun, Yamashita-kun, and you, I would like to say this once more: I’m very delighted you’re celebrating my birthday again this year. I, thank you.

IM@S Portal - Office Memory lines Michio: I really appreciate that you’ve spared some time to celebrate my birthday like this. Thank you, the three of you. Rui: Happy birthday, Mister Hazama! Ok, take a glass! What drink would you like? Jiro: While we’re here, would the man of the hour honor us with a toast?

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[シャニマス] Kaho Komiya: W.I.N.G. Scenario – Post-TV Appearance

I have translated some Post-TV Appearance commus (the ones that appear after winning an Audition in the W.I.N.G. scenario) for a while—starting with Kaho, of course!

Translation: meri Get the Unofficial English Patch here!

(Text under the cut!)

Post-TV Appearance #1

This is unlocked after winning an Audition and the TV Appearance that follows after it, with the Produce idol at Memory Appeal Lv. 1-2.

Producer: Good work, Kaho. You did very well.

Kaho: I was feeling very excited! Producer-san, how did I do?

Producer: Your cheerfulness was well conveyed. The people watching were also energized!

Kaho: Ehehe, thanks! Next time, I'll cheer everyone up even more!

Producer: Is that so. Well, let’s do our best, take lessons, and refine your skills.

Kaho: That’s right... I’ll only have to train, right! Heroes do special training to get stronger!

Producer: Yes. The people around me also took such special training repeatedly to become stronger.

Kaho: Right! That’s why the amazing people are making amazing efforts! I’ll also do my very very best!

Post-TV Appearance #2

This is unlocked after winning an Audition and the TV Appearance that follows after it, with the Produce idol at Memory Appeal Lv. 3 and above.

Kaho: Producer-san! How did I do?! Did I make everyone smile right?!

Producer: Yeah, you did well. I’m sure that your feelings was delivered to them.

Kaho: Waah... I’m glad to hear that! A while ago... I was thinking about the smiles of all my fans!

Kaho: And suddenly, there came a huge splash of energy! This must be the “heart of justice”, right!?

Producer: You got it. That’s why you were shining brightly on stage.

Kaho: Ehehe. From now on, I’ll continue to fight on stage in order to protect everyone’s smiles!

Kaho: So, please continue to lend me your strength, Producer-san!

Producer: Leave it to me! I’ll support you as much as I can.

Kaho: Yeah! When you’re here, I get even stronger!

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[SideM] One Year: Winning Odds - 315.0x (One-Shot)

A quick One-Shot (1Koma) story translation where Jiro decides not to gamble for a year. Wonder how this will go...

Original Release (JP): 2024/07/20 Translation: meri You can view the original commu on ASOBISTORY here!

(At the race course) Jiro: Over there, from behind! Jiro: Nice, all clear! Yeah, go go go...! Keep running~! (Loud cheering. Camera zooms into Jiro, much to his horror.)

(At an izakaya) That night...

Jiro: Haaah… I can't do this anymore~ Michio: Under those circumstances, the results do not look good. Jiro: Yeah. He was doing fine in the middle, but the final stretch wasn't enough for him in the last straight... Jiro: Man, I thought he would make it. My many, many money... boo-hoo-hoo. Rui: Cheer up, Mister Yamashita. You'll get them next time. Jiro: Nah, I've already made up my mind. ...I'll stop gambling for a while. Rui: Really? Are you serious, Mister Yamashita? How long is "a while"? Jiro: Well... Okay, how about a year! Michio: Hm, you are very passionate about horse racing. Will Yamashita-kun even last a year… Jiro: Ah, you don't believe me? Watch out, I'll certainly accomplish it. Jiro: If you'd like, you can even bet on it. Michio & Rui: ....... Michio: One more week, I suppose.

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[シャニマス] sR [283Pro Hatchling] Hiori Kazano

Revisited a good ol' illumination STARS commu on a whim, here's Hiori's support R card commus, translated!

Translation: meri Proofreading: Ruru Get the Unofficial English Patch here!

A Day-Off Spent with Mano

Mano: Ah... Hiori-chan.

Hiori: ...? Mano? What are you doing here?

Mano: I was strolling around. What about you?

Hiori: I was just about to head to the CD shop.

Mano: CD shop... you say.

Mano: Um... is it alright if I come along?

Hiori: Huh? ...Well, I don't mind.

Mano: Yay, thank you.

Mano: Howaa... This CD shop is fascinating～ They have many kinds of CDs in there.

Hiori: ...It's a CD shop, so it's expected.

Mano: Ehehe... You're right.

Hiori: (...How long has it been since I last spent a day-off with someone like this...)

Hiori: (I'm acting bluntly as usual but... I wonder if Mano enjoys being around me...)

Mano: Howa! Say, Hiori-chan.

Mano: That little boy over there... I wonder if he got lost. He seems to be crying alone by himself...

Hiori: ...We should hurry and take him to the police station.

Mano: S-Sure...! We need to hurry...!

Hiori: Whew... I'm glad the boy's parents also came to the police station.

Mano: ...Hehe.

Hiori: ...Why did you laugh all of a sudden?

Mano: Well, I was just thinking of how kind you are.

Hiori: ...No, I'm not that nice, really.

Mano: Nope, that's not true.

Mano: After all, when that little boy was lost and crying...

Mano: It was you who said that we should bring him to the police station right away.

Hiori: But that's only natural, right?

Hiori: ...Well, think what you like.

I Want to Get Along Even Better

Hiori: (Phew. That should be enough practice for today's lesson.)

Hiori: (I should head home soon...)

Meguru: Ah, Hiori! Good work today!

Hiori: ...You too.

Meguru: Since I also just finished my lessons, how about we both go home together!

Hiori: Eh... Well, I don't mind.

Meguru: REALLY!?

Meguru: Yeaaah! Alright!

Hiori: We're just going home together, why are you that excited...?

Meguru: Ehehe～ Don't worry about the details! Let's go gooo～!

Meguru: Hmm, hmm-mm, hmmm♪

Hiori: (She's still full of energy after lessons...)

Hiori: ...Is there anything fun about this?

Meguru: Ehh... Of course I'd have a fun time going home with you!

Meguru: Besides, having these lessons together was sooo much fun!

Hiori: (...Fun? With me?)

Hiori: ...Is that so?

Meguru: That's right! Which is why it'd be nice if we could get closer, Hiori!

Hiori: Get closer with me...?

Meguru: And I want to have more lessons together with you too... Then our dancing and singing will also be in sync...

Meguru: Oh, and if we do more lessons together, we'll also be able to walk home together too!

Hiori: ...Well, that's true.

Meguru: Ehehe! Thinking about it just makes me look forward to it more～!

Meguru: Oh, right! How about a friendship hug──

Hiori: No thanks.

Meguru: Ugh... Why did you tell me to stop...

Hiori: ...Don't get too carried away.

Meguru: Boo. It was a good chance for us to become closer friends!

Hiori: ...Because, well...

Hiori: ...Even becoming closer to someone has to be done step by step.

Meguru: Hiori...!

Hiori: ...Come on, let's hurry and go home.

Meguru: Sure!

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6 Years of Mirishita Anniversary Rankings. (event log/memorials & retrospective)

Ah yes, the yearly Million Live! Theater Days anniversary event. You pick a girl to grind event points for, try to reach the top 1000, and the rest is history. Or maybe you just want to gather all 52 event cards with that new sparkling outfit so you don’t have to dump a ton of rocks just to collect all of them.

Since 2019, I’ve chosen to partake in the yearly battleground of trying to gain as much points as possible. The more popular the idol (or if they are in the key visual), the more painful your ranking experience would be. Or you could just go for Ami, Mami, and/or Ayumu with mostly dumping auto live tickets.

I was only getting into IM@S when the game’s 1st Anniversary dropped, but only started Million Live! Theater Days (Mirishita) after the event happened, so there was no 1st Anniversary event memorial. Hearing stuff about several people that actually got admitted into the hospital and one EmilyP running on bonito stock was wild.

For the game’s 7th anniversary, I’ve decided to compile and release the memorial messages posted onto the Million Live! Discord server, written after getting the event results from the 2nd up to 7th Anniversaries.

2nd Anniversary: UNI-ON@IR!!!! (2019)

Rank: #4352 (Kotoha) & #1717 (Iku)

I knew the anniversary event was going to be crazy... and I was right. While my ranking wasn't as high as the others (due to real life circumstances, school, and Internet issues on the last few days), I did all I could... until I ran out of tokens on the last hour and had to get more of these. Oh, what a mistake I've made. I've done all I can for Kotoha and Iku (mostly the former)… I'll redeem myself next year~

Looking back at the 2nd Anniversary event feels weird. I was a noob at event ranking back there, my highest ranking was reaching around the Top 30,000 players during the “Datte Anata wa Princess” event. It was back during a time where I didn’t take intense event ranking very seriously back there (and also when I had a social life outside of mobile games).

I will say though, the free pulls gave me Kotoha and Iku’s most recent SSRs (at the time) at least. They’ve become my tantou idols within ML! by then… whatever the definition of a “tantou” was to me before I rediscovered and became S.E.M’s producer at the end of 2019.

3rd Anniversary: CHALLENGE FOR GLOW-RY D@YS!!! (2020)

Rank: #1189 (Kotoha) & #907 (Iku)

as a kotohaP and an ikuP and a s.e.mP who had to rank somewhere else right before anniv started, that was the worst 21 days of nonstop tiering i've ever done. it was the hardest [mirishita] event i've ever done after nearly 2 years of playing. this year, i dared to tier for two despite one of them having the highest t1 borders of the event until 18 hours of refresh kicked me in the butt and borders proved to be too high. i did manage to redeem myself from last year's failure though. i don't know if i'll ever tier again for kotoha next year… or if parade d'amour will be a mess like how this event was, but i've done my best for my tantous and i think that's enough. otsu, everyone.

Part of the original “14 days of non-stop event grinding” phase I had back in 2020. I was just trying to get top 1000 for Jiro’s wedding event SR in LIVE ON ST@GE! (RIP), and right as the event ended, there I went for trying to dual rank for both of my tantous—only for me to get top 1000 for Iku but failing to do the same with Kotoha. I wanted to do both but uh… I messed up with the refresh timing back there on the last day. (Let’s not get started with the bugs that occurred during that event.)

It was my first time trying to properly do duo idols for this event, so it was quite challenging. It was also through this event where I first started properly called myself an IkuP.

4th Anniversary: Reach 4 the Dre@m! (2021)

Rank: #95 (Iku)

[3rd anniversary] was the hardest [mirishita] event i've ever done after nearly 2 years of playing. - me, nearly a year ago why the hell does this game keep pushing me to my limits? this was the hardest event i've ever tiered in over 2 years of me sticking around the theater. here it is, the event that forced me to drain all my stamina drinks and memorial items, awaken all of my remaining cards, and use up more than half of my memory piece stash. 4th anniv can finally join in the ranks of my other mobage in the "events that drained (nearly) all of my resources" gang. lately i've been having mixed feelings over the game itself and its recent updates, but Harmony 4 You! ended up being my 2nd favorite anniv song (i'm still sentimental towards UNION!! tho) and i consider it to be the best part of this anniversary. that, along with the limited auto live passes and increased cap for normal ones, those were a life-saver. events like this are crazy every time but tiering this year was a blast, tbh. not gonna lie, being an ikuP is an interesting experience. i became quite emotional two hours after the event ended, seeing what is possibly the highest feat i can go for my tantou. i try to go hard with my main tantous as much as i can but running with iku was genuinely fun and enjoyable. i don't i wanna try this stunt ever again but that was fun. at this point i can say that i genuinely consider her as my top idol in the theater. so... now what? i'm not sure if i'll be sticking around the theater as much as i used to, given the current circumstances (and an upcoming game to look forward to). hopefully the anime and mts will bring in new amazing songs that keeps me staying for a little longer. maybe one day i'll reach t1 in more events with my tantous in them once more. congrats to those who tiered, regardless if they made it or not. see you soon, twinkle rhythm. お疲れ様でした、プロデューサー！！

I pressed too many buttons and there came my first top 100 in an event. I made a whole Twitter thread documenting my journey through this. It was a lot of fun, but also a lot of work—even when my tantou’s event ranking borders are in the lowest quarter of the cast’s.

I may have overslept a bit on the last day, with my rank almost dropping below T100. Glad I still managed to pull that one off despite several things.

5th Anniversary: Watashi-tachi no R@inbow! (2022)

Rank: #136 (Iku)

"What happened to you retiring?" Nothing shows how stubborn I am with this damn franchise and especially towards the branch that fully brought me into hell more than tiering in the yearly anniversary event. The past year has been somewhat of a mixed bag, with several highs and multiple lows throughout. If anything, I would’ve actually retired as I hinted/said in the past, but in truth I ended up coming back to this stupid game for one reason or another. Or maybe because I care for my daughter(s) too much to fully leave. I did get some of my highest accomplishments (most recently, t1 for Kotoha just a month before this). So, yeah. I realized how much I give too many shits between my 765 tantous, especially Iku. I hope your knives are ready, I guess. To Iku, to Kotoha, to TIntMe!, to Haruka and Chihaya, thanks for the bullshit you’ve brought me into for the past few years. Otsukare y’all. (P.S. I want to try doing a t100 Iku + t1000 Kotoha stunt next year, but who knows really.)

Months before that event, I said that I was about to retire from Mirishita for a while after Iku’s last ranking PST. I had started drifting away from Mirishita because I wasn’t satisfied with what happened in its 4th year. I’m personally glad things are (mostly) okay within the ML! sphere nowadays.

Clearly, I did not fully retire due to various events I’m still waiting for. The memorial for that year says it all.

Event ranking thread for this one goes here.

6th Anniversary: R@ise a Good Sign! (2023)

Rank: #621 (Chizuru & Iku)

"I want to try doing a t100 Iku + t1000 Kotoha stunt next year, but who knows really." (me, last year) big fucking sike. a more melancholic reflection this year, but honestly i don't know how to process things properly since that day... my anger towards a certain company (after shooting down my main branch) has made me throw out all my mirishita event plans for the rest of the year, made me fall off both mirishita (and shinymas) for a while, and went out a revenge arc somewhere in another production for the sake of my tantou units. semi-related, but i became a chizuruP back in january (months before everything fell apart). i didn't tier for any of her events before that so uh... yeah. between this and a night pool party coming up, dunno what is it with me and wanting to "prove" myself as a producer. me tiering this anniv was essentially me fucking around and finding out what to do with all these event auto-passes, event stamina drinks, and a slacc event happening in the other side. i currently deal with three grown ex-teachers and two drunk ladies with top tier seiyuu outside of the franchise. it only took me a couple weeks to accept that chizuru could actually end up as tantou since seeing her seiyuu's collier de perles performance during ml 9th... and i sincerely regret that i didn't become her producer sooner. before everything else started falling apart. i don't know how many more events i have left until i can call myself "retired" from the game instead of the "semi-retired" status i've had for a while now. there's at least two more events i want to rank in, and i don't think i can fully retire until i got closure on that part.

even if i were to visit the theater less than ever before, i'll still consider myself as iku, kotoha, and chizuru's producer. as always, congrats on the 6th anniversary.

on a less melancholic note, i find it funny how i got 315k and 283k pts (certain numbers for certain branches) and somehow got the same exact rank LOL my last-minute tiering got me trying to aim for 315k pts for chizuru, but not 283k for iku. enjoy the clown compilation (from yours truly) from before the event:

Last year’s resolution clearly didn’t go well. Easily the most melancholic among my memorial messages because a Certain Small Indie Company (TM) decided to shut down three IM@S games within the same year, leaving a branch where one of 765Pro’s rivals would start a new life elsewhere without a game.

Reopening old wounds aside, I didn’t initially plan on tiering the anniversary event again until I started casually dumping tickets and tokens onto Chizuru—a tantou I had spent less time with compared to my two legacy ML! girls. I didn’t realize that there were custom unit titles for Mirishita anniversary events now too, so I wasn’t even able to grab the second title due to insufficient event points. I still think it was funny how I snagged the title for both idols and got the exact same points rank for them.

With this event though, it gave me a bit of confidence that I can potentially do a successful dual T1000 run for two idols. Which leads me into...

7th Anniversary: 7D@ys Smile!! (2024)

Rank: #254 (Kotoha) & #478 (Iku)

If anyone ever asked who my top 5 overall IM@S idols were four years ago, you’d get a slightly different answer. Looking at my idol sorter results between the FIVE STAR branches at the start of this year though, guess who was 6th and 7th? Yeah.

Last year’s run (along with watching the ML! server Ps do their own multiple T1000 runs over the years) gave me the confidence to potentially pull off a dual T1000 myself. With a better mindset compared to last year, I tried to pull off my 5th Anniversary resolution again with Kotoha and Iku—while there was no T100 (due to lack of resources and college), I managed to pull it off my biggest revenge from previous Anniversary events.

Started grinding for Kotoha in the first half, then added Iku during the second. Grinded for tokens so hard to try getting Kotoha to 1,000,000 points and Iku to 315,000 points that I have accidentally overkilled my token count to ~284,000 tokens by Day 9. Ended up spending the last 4 days of the event burning my tokens until I reached the points park because clearly I didn’t want to grind anymore in the last several hours. The last 6 hours had me chilling (while procrastinating on my assignments again).

I couldn’t decide what funny numbers as a target at first, all I knew was who to rank for. Then I remembered that this event would end right before SideM’s 9th STAGE this weekend, leading into the branch’s 10th Anniversary a few days later. Going from Million Live’s 10th anniversary → SideM’s 10th anniversary will be fun to see.

So I put into work added an additional 31,500 points beyond Kotoha’s original target, ended things off with ~81k unburned tokens on hand and:

Kotoha: 1,031,500 pts (10th anniversary & obligatory 315)

Iku: 315,765 pts (315Pro & 765Pro)

Not much melancholy from me this time, and a lot of things happened over the years. Kotoha and Iku are still in my overall IM@S top 10, and I really just can’t trade my time with them for anything else.

I give these two thanks for everything, as my first “true” tantou idols. (Now where’s my HELLO, YOUR ANGEL♪ and Give Me Metaphor events?)

———

And that’s all the Mirishita anniversary event memorials! Each had its own silly little memory surrounding it, but at the end: I tried my best for my silly little idols.

(Also please make sure to take care of yourself while ranking I’m begging you—)

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Oh hello (theme by mournstera)

[foreigndistance]

Some Small (Visual) Updates

Several small visual updates were made since I first posted this blog post, so I thought it'd be a good idea to show these!

Also, in case you didn't know: a light mode variant is there for those who prefer that.

On another note: there may be another blog post coming up in the next several days (or weeks).

As for the next translation... this may take a while to cook since I'm just a beginner at this whole JP→EN fan translation side-gig. It'll be up when it's fully ready.

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[シャニマス] Kaho Komiya 2019 Xmas Special Commus (only the two free ones)

Two short commus from 2019's Shiny Colors Christmas Campaign! As a little translation practice.

Translation: meri Proofreading: Burbur and XN-Salad Get the Unofficial English Patch here!

[19Xmas] Shiba Inu Mini Tote Bag

Kaho: Mamemaru...!?

Producer-san, this puppy looks like Mamemaru!

It's veeeery cute!

Producer: You think so too, Kaho?

It looked so much like Mamemaru that I picked it up instinctively.

I thought it would be perfect for your walks with Mamemaru, or as a lunch bag...

You can use it if you like.

Kaho: Yes! Thanks a lot!

If I have this on hand, we'll always be together with Mamemaru!

[19Xmas] Instant Camera

Kaho: This is the one used in my magazine shoots!

Producer: Ah, this one might be a bit different since it's intended for kids...

Kaho: May I have it!?

Producer: Of course. It's a present, so take as many shots as you like, Kaho.

Also, if you don't mind, could you show me what pictures you'll take?

Kaho: Of course! Thank you very much!

I'll take lots and loooooooots of photos!

Producer-san, please look forward to them!

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Jubilee, Rank #72 (a post-event reflection)

“Why would you post this on Nocturne’s 7th anniversary of its addition to Starlight Stage?” Because one, I like the song—especially the original duet. And two, screw it, we roll.

It has been a few weeks since the event ended, but I’ve been trying to write this reflection for weeks without trying to lose my mind over actually writing out several thoughts (both good and bad) over a collaboration event in a mobile rhythm/gacha game. Forgive me for the raw honest thoughts I’m about to say in there.

The Prologue

Hoshimachi Suisei is a virtual YouTuber (VTuber) affiliated with Hololive Production, one of the biggest virtual agencies for such talents. She is one of the earliest talents recruited by the agency, alongside other soloist VTubers like Tokino Sora, Roboco, Sakura Miko, and AZKi—together referred to as “Generation 0”. She is also someone striving to become an idol herself. Prior to becoming affiliated with her current agency, she had tried entering IRL idol agencies, to no avail. She tried joining Hololive Production, but got rejected. She got into INoNaKa Music, but would eventually get transferred into Hololive’s main JP branch in December 2019.

To briefly describe her activities: Suisei is a forever 18, multi-talented idol who has done (and sung) a lot of accomplishments over the years. She has interest in 2D idols as well, with her having interest in Ensemble Stars!! and THE IDOLM@STER, the latter of which being an inspiration that led her into her own idol journey. She would do covers alongside other Hololive talents with songs from those two series. “Honeycomb Summer”, “Melty♡Kitchen”, “Alive Factor”, “Hanamuke no Tori”… to name a few. There were also times where she would often be pulling in the respective games’ gacha, often spending a lot of money on them. Her favorite idols from Enstars!! and IM@S include Ritsu Sakuma, Natsume Sakasaki, Hayate Hisakawa, and Kaede Takagaki.

Six years after her debut, she would perform with her own tantou.

At Suisei’s 6th Anniversary 3D live, appropriately titled “SheenderellaDay”, a certain someone would perform with one of her fans.

The song? It was “Koi Kaze”.

Suisei shared the same stage with no one other than Kaede Takagaki, who was in her 1st SSR outfit. This was followed up by a small MC corner. Kaede switched into her 4th SSR outfit, and then a new song written by Suisei’s recurring composer, lyricist, and fellow Midnight Grand Orchestra member TAKU INOUE started playing on stage. As the concert was happening, I was merely saying “congrats” in my mind.

And thus, the grand “Jubilee” started.

The Event (and My Mixed Feelings)

It’s easy for me to say that among the people who wanted a Hololive collab with THE IDOLM@STER in-game, Suisei probably won the hardest. She got her own in-game event, original song, a commu, and even an SSR in the series she loves—ignoring the behind-the-scenes shenanigans we will probably never fully know about. There were previous Hololive collab events in other gacha games, with Tokyo 7th Sisters and Granblue Fantasy getting their collabs in the past few years, but when it came to Starlight Stage’s collaborations, this was the game’s most intense collab yet.

I… didn’t initially plan on running this event much. While I was initially excited by the intensity of the collab event upon its official announcement, there were lingering feelings of “what if this were to be my tantou idol’s last event” and a slight hint of disappointment. The “end” of Starlight Stage had become a recurring topic among English-speaking Ps ever since the so-called “content reduction” announcement was released before the end of 2023. The collaboration itself was teased in that same announcement, but I presumed that the things around the collab were already in production as the whole “content reduction” stuff was being decided. The thought of losing IM@S’ most profitable mobile game because of whatever Bandai Namco is up to is kinda scary. It’s a silly sentiment towards a live service mobile game that will shut down eventually, but the thought is also real.

Then, there’s Kaede herself. Her last token event (and unit from the original mobile game) in Deresute, “Pretty Liar”, was held back in 2018. There’s… things I could say about her content released after that, both things I liked, things I felt odd towards, and things I didn’t really like all that much. In a nutshell: I want to see Kaede as “herself” and not just as the “final boss” Cinderella Girl that she is. It’s complicated.

And yet, this event’s timing couldn’t have been even more perfect. Lately I’ve been finding March and April to have moments involving my tantous. The event’s duration overlapped with March 30 (one year since Cinderella FES Mizuki’s release and eventually sparking FES Kaede in that same banner) and April 2 (10th Anniversary Tour Final, aka the live that changed the trajectory of my producing life forever). And the whole thing took place during Holy Week break, no less. The only real issues I would’ve had were potential connection issues that may arise in a then-upcoming 3-day road trip.

Why did this event have to be 11 days long?

The Actual Grind

Day 1 of the event started with me messing around with all my early intense grinding. I managed to get around the top 20 within the first 30 minutes of the event. Trying to maintain a top 100 spot was hard during the first few days, but eventually things stabilized as the days went on.

For a short break during the first day, I pulled on the collab gacha. My Suisei gacha tickets didn’t give me too much and got me an off-rate SSR (Miyo1), so I resorted to using jewels. Here came Kaede’s collab limited SSR, fully animated. My jewel count went from 55k at the start of the event to 36k—which would eventually be thrown into event ranking hell instead of being saved for the Kaede7 reruns (which was its own story).

During day 2, I kept playing (actually sending my auto Grand team through EVERLASTING FORTE hell and back) while I was at a local convention for the whole afternoon. Not pictured: me showing fellow artists there that I was playing the event! I may have fallen out from my goal for a while, dammit, but I kept farming for tokens anyway.

In addition, I drank some coffee especially during the last few days, although sometimes I find myself feeling a bit sleepy…

Throughout days 6-8, I was stuck on the annual provincial road trip during Holy Week. I brought two phones through the whole thing: my main phone whose mobile data has been mostly spent on event grinding, and a side phone where I would often chat on Discord or play videos and music during the trip. During the second night, I did get to stay in the hotel room by myself (we had two hotel rooms) and took that opportunity to try staying awake.

On day 9, I hit the 99,999,999 money cap for the first time. Nothing too significant about it other than me having to spend a lot on stuff from the limited money shop. (That’s why gold bars exist in-game!)

The final two nights had me trying my damn best to stay up for as much as possible past 1 or 2 AM. If you really value your sleep and sanity over a dumb number for a popular idol’s event, I do not recommend this.

The last day of the event was quite a stressful trip. Within the final 24 hours, I wanted to try reaching the maximum amount of tokens you could hold (99,999 tokens) but I feared that there would not be enough time for me to reach the target. I ended up stopping the EVERLASTING FORTE grind as soon as I got to 90k.

I wanted to park at certain numbers related to my tantous (Ray Distance’s Mobamas debut date, the day CG 4th LIVE’s performance of Nocturne happened, etc.) but I wouldn’t have enough time and/nor tokens to actually reach those numbers. Near the end I tried getting 1,591,715 (Mizuki and Kaede’s respective heights) but in the end, I only managed to reach the 1.59 million point mark with the last tokens I grinded and spent.

The hardest part of the event was actually trying to keep that high amount of uptime, and it was more apparent when I would get knocked out as I was trying to stay awake. I have a terrible sleep schedule (or lack thereof) but my sleepy butt wouldn’t keep me awake for too long. The loop of pressing buttons every 2 minutes felt monotonous for 11 days straight, minus the part where I actually played the event song for either jewels or to get a high score.

My complicated feelings towards Kaede’s latest event song being a collab with a popular VTuber was stuck in my mind, and I first thought I would try to settle for Top 500 early on; but previous sentiments and “final event” anxiety, combined with some encouragement from friends and other Producers (who ranked with me) kept telling me to keep going.

I ultimately finished the event at rank #72, which is… certainly a number associated with ChihayaPs. With a total of 1,590,435 points. I saw the numbers on Haruka’s birthday (April 3), send help.

I also made it to SSS rankings for the first time. It’s something I never really cared for, usually, but apparently ranking very high in a token event would let you in the top 1000. I never saw my actual SSS rank at the end of March (since I was too busy grinding), but I probably made it in the top 500 in the 91st SSS ranking that month.

The Tantou Unit Revenge

There’s one last thing I want to talk about, something I’ve been preparing for almost a year by that point. Long story short: I wanted to tier for the units I produce, and for the idols that are closest to me. I wanted to do that with S.E.M (my first tantou unit), but over the last few years my chances kept fading with each SideM game that got killed. By the time Growing Stars leaked announced its shutdown, I ended up starting to ask for a Kaede and Mizuki event (as Ray Distance) for me to tier in for me to have some form of “revenge” and (hopefully) closure on that front.

Of course that dream event didn’t happen (yet), knowing how much Bandai Namco and Cygames likes putting that After20 duo (who also have some of the busiest VAs in the series) together sometimes.

Over 2023, I did get some top 2000s here and there, in both token and groove events. The last event with my actual tantous in it happened over a year ago (Heartboiled Wars with Tomoe). Every event I’ve tiered in has had an idol I like: Aki, Sanae, Airi, Kanade, and Koharu.

And yet, I didn’t tier in this event because I like Suisei… I tiered in this event because I like Kaede. So much that I ended up producing her.

As weird as I feel about the collaboration as a whole, giving up on this chance would’ve left me with intense regret for several reasons. Future me would be really disappointed if this is to be Kaede’s final Starlight Stage event. (So I hope she gets one more event after this…)

The possibility of me failing a chance of tiering one of my closest tantou’s events again scared me. I lost my chances more than once, and it would probably hurt if I give up that chance. It wasn’t the ideal event I wanted to try in, but the timing was too perfect not to ignore either. There were many thoughts swirling in my head throughout the whole thing, but then again… it’s a tantou event in the end.

I’m awaiting Mizuki’s next event (especially since she hasn’t gotten a new song for nearly 3 years now), but I need to recover first.

Despite everything…

In the end, I do not regret being Kaede’s producer.

The Stats

PLv: 347 → 501. The 2x fan campaign combined with a bit of the EXP Produce perk boosts may have helped a lot.

Jewel count: 55k (pre-gacha) → 36k (post-gacha) → 7k. Thank goodness I didn’t have to spark Kaede in that limited banner.

Idols made past 15 million fans: Uzuki, Takumi, Nanami, and Tomoe. Three of my tantous & an excessive use of Nanami’s FES SSR.

Idols made past 10 million fans: Seira, Yui, and Koharu. Sanae, Miku, Nana, Ranko, and Karen also got a significant boost in fans due to all of this.

SSS songs cleared: Gaze and Gaze. Been wanting to save getting that clear for a special event.

Stamina drinks spent: everything.

Total no of EVERLASTING FORTE plays at the end: 2,947.

SSRs obtained from collab gacha: 5 (two Kaedes, one Rin4, a Makino1 dupe, and a Miyo1.) I’d eventually gain another 2 SSRs after the event (neither of them were Suisei though. I had to resist pulling further because a Kaede7 rerun was coming…)

The Special Thanks

The KaigaiPs that ranked with me in the top 100 (Zhu and Shiina especially—those two are on a different league of their own) for helping me survive this tiresome first Deresute T100 attempt.

My fellow online friends from the various Discord servers and on Twitter, for supporting me. I’ve been keeping that whole thing under wraps from my main account out of embarrassment, but yeah.

The Hololive Fan Wiki, Virtual YouTuber Wiki, and the JP Hololive Unofficial Wiki for Suisei research.

As a final note… when’s Passion Jewelries? Or the next Kaede/Mizuki event?

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Oh hello (theme by mournstera)

[merinsanity]

trying to rework the about page's description on my other, rambles/future tls blog but how the heck do i make it balance between making it more "general" + not just be too imas-centric and focusing on my interests at the same time

[merinsanity]

foreigndistance is important to me since i've put a good chunk of thought into it (and same goes for what i'll do to the blog in the future) hence i'm so nervous as how to rewrite a chunk of the about page

also been thinking of changing the blog's name from "a blue, foreign distance" to "a 315 blue, foreign distance" — if that makes any sense. (reflecting an idea that's been brewing in my mind for a while because i want to represent my sideM/cg favs in a classy, not too in-your-face kind of way that distracts viewers/readers from the rest of the blog 🤔)

[merinsanity]

update: @foreigndistance​‘s blog title has been switched to "a blue, saikou foreign distance." now! (been like this already since a few days ago. but yeah.)

longer rambles and old school blogging  + future tl projects will be directed towards there so yeah! (until i learn how to code my own website.)

idk what will happen first, me being able to code my own website or publish a jp>en translation 🤔

[foreigndistance]

deadass forgot to add this bit into the actual blog post after looking into a discord server:

If it weren't for S.E.M and SideM as a whole, I wouldn't be here the same way.

however i like the ending i ended up writing instead so i'll just keep it

[foreigndistance]

I love S.E.M an insane amount. (a reflection)

“If it weren’t for S.E.M, would I even be here right now?”

Okay, correction: “If I didn’t meet S.E.M again through a random Google search a few years ago, would I even be here right now?”

Let’s turn back the clock for a moment. I got into 2D fictional idols through Love Live! back in mid-2017 with me first watching the School Idol Project anime on a whim. Timeskip to months later in October and I went through Sunshine!! Season 2 when it was airing, and I remembered vaguely hearing things about THE IDOLM@STER back then. I had a loose idea about SideM’s existence through clips from the anime (which was airing on that same season) along with IDOLiSH7 and Tsukipro – both fellow male idol series that I also encountered. Neither did I pay closer attention to these nor was I into male idols though.

Here’s this bit from a previous lovemail from a few years ago: I wasn’t fully open about my interests towards others. I feared that nobody would understand what I enjoy, especially if it isn't as well-known as what a typical person would know. Before becoming an idol fan, I was more into magical girl anime, tokusatsu, and Western animation in general – all of which are niche interests in their own right.

Skip to 2019. By that point, I was already into IM@S by that point, albeit focusing more on 765Pro and Million Live’s activities via Theater Days. In January, I started Shiny Colors and LIVE ON ST@GE! for the first time, and both had uh – let’s just say, “unique” ways of handling non-rhythm game-like mechanics. (I haven't touched the older console games yet.) I was more of a casual fan of the two branches (compared to 765) and I was more focused on my high school life, which hadn’t started crumbling down just yet. I didn’t stay with the two games as much as Mirishita.

My first starter idol in MStage was Ryo, mainly because of his connection with the console games. Touma and Ryo’s connections to 765Pro immediately made them my initial favorite idols in SideM, but three men clad in pink and silver spandex caught my attention: S.E.M. The unit’s concept of a trio of ex-teachers becoming idols to motivate and inspire students to study and follow their dreams struck me. I regretted not starting off with any of the members, so I left my original MStage account, opting to return with a S.E.M starter idol when I gave it a second chance.

I chose Rui as my new starter idol in April 2019, but I didn’t really have a no. 1 favorite idol by then. I read a few of whatever was translated and listened to some of the songs; but I was more focused on Mirishita and acted more casually towards the other branches.

But on a more personal note, I was starting to go through some… mixed feelings in my personal life.

My boyfriend and I broke up after 11 months, had to give up taking part in a club I’ve been involved in for the past 2 years by then, and constantly got annoyed at some teachers’ way of doing things which affected my enjoyment of the subjects I studied for… And on top of that, it was starting to feel more lonely as I saw friend groups I knew split apart for a moment and I would feel unwanted at times when my close friends aren’t around.

It was getting lonely. Being with the school newspaper team felt most like home when our meetings happened, but it wasn’t enough.

(Don’t worry, I’m okay now and my friends – including my ex – are currently on good terms.)

December 4, 2019. The router at home was having internet problems and I couldn’t properly play the Mirishita event at the time, “Hitomi no Naka no Sirius”. I was at home since we didn’t have to go to school because of a holiday. I don’t fully remember what led to me messing around on my two phones – but for some reason, I typed “S.E.M” onto Google search on a whim and found their work again. It was clear that I was bored by that point, so I started reading their magazines and event stories again to pass the time.

Seeing S.E.M and the relationship within the trio… reminded me of home. What appealed to me about them wasn’t just their “silly” reason for becoming idols in the first place or their entire concept (which is already something you don’t see in other mixed media idol/music franchises often), it was the relationship between three grown men (who were colleagues from the same workplace they left) getting into the entertainment industry just to inspire and motivate others to follow their dreams and, of course, study. School had a strong importance for most of my life where I could show my true self without feeling restricted by my family’s presence. Seeing them… made me smile.

I started rambling about them – especially Jiro, who initially became my favorite among the trio back then – to my best friend. The brainrot slowly took over. I was already sure that all three of them were here to stay this time. The brainrot made me reinstall MStage and return to my account, and I started playing the original Mobage with my beginner-level Japanese knowledge.

As I started talking more about that trio of ex-teachers with her, I realized how insecure I really was about my interests; too shy to talk to random strangers online as well. At that time, it felt like that had to change. I created my present-day Twitter account in early 2020. That was originally dedicated to my interests (and eventually became my main account) and I started talking in English-speaking IM@S servers more often. I’ve made friends with people from around the world and from my own home country. I even started posting some of my own art on there and would try to start posting on other social media platforms over the years. It was nerve-wracking, but perhaps it made me feel a little less lonely compared to before, looking back.

When I left another fandom (which was related to IRL idols) in early 2020, I made a pledge to myself that no matter how bad the branch’s situation gets, I would stay with the boys until the end. Of all the media I have ever touched, none would come close as to what THE IDOLM@STER SideM would ever bring me into on a very personal level. Its message and theme of starting over again at any age resonated with me, and it hits hard especially as I grew older. I’ve met many Producers of varying branches over the last 3-4 years, have taken part in several fan community projects – including running entire Twitter accounts and fan wikis and Discord servers – and helped me learn some skills along the way.

As for my tantous in IM@S itself? Michio Hazama (and by extension, S.E.M as whole) would overtake everyone, of course.  Entering 2020, I had to rank the New Year’s Michio event in LIVE ON ST@GE! right after I just returned to it, then my first S.E.M-focused event since I started the Mobage was a Michio rank. The first artwork I posted on Twitter publicly was his New Year event SR for his birthday.

Of all the tantous I’ve met, none could reach the same personal level of love, care, and interest I have for them as much as him. (Even if a certain Cinderella Girl came to challenge that notion.) I remembered one of my types being a quiet, serious guy with glasses. His silent passion and strict (yet caring) demeanor towards his pupils, the way he wants to see them succeed from an educator’s point of view, and his moments with the cast – especially with his unitmates and Producer – brought me immense warmth.

I knew he would become my favorite idol within the branch as time went on, but he eventually won me over the most within the entire franchise. A serious man in glasses is an archetype you would often see, but seeing a teacher figure want the best for his students and his unit, as well as being passionate about his work and not being overly loud about it drives me insane.

——————————————————————————————

Fast forward to 2022. When GROWING STARS had its 1st anniversary campaign, the vibes I got from the online surroundings at the time didn’t settle well with me. Honestly, I was very disappointed with the execution of the anniversary campaign itself, although I tried to keep myself in tact. There was a lingering feeling that what is now a core aspect of myself about to break down once again, especially seeing how some Producers I met through SideM had (understandably) either left or took a break for better, greener pastures. I found myself turning towards a certain pair of adult ladies from another production to help me go through my short break from SideM at the time, but still kept in touch with IM@S by that point. As I thought about the other idols (who are over 20 y/o) I would eventually produce – especially when it comes to that pair of ladies – I thought to myself that what if SideM helped rewire my taste.

And now, with the advent of the last remaining SideM game’s impending, terribly received, and horribly executed shutdown and with Bandai Namco having revealed its future plans through a roadmap... I’m lost and unsure where to go. It’s like I KNOW where to go, but don’t know how to go further despite the circumstances. I even gave a large “sigh” towards the announcement before I’d write the GROWING STARS shutdown notice itself onto the SideM ENG Twitter.

It took me a few days to write up my full response towards the shutdown announcement up to the point where I was writing it in the middle of my trip days after the stream. Before that, I had left several disappointed tweets which eventually became hit tweet after hit tweet.

I’ve been into IM@S as a Producer for 5 years by this point. I didn’t want to celebrate it like this.

Despite everything though, I told myself that I wouldn’t leave. I did say that I would still keep in touch with IM@S, and I can’t deny the impact that it has left towards me and how I saw my IM@S tantou roster (which has grown since I became S.E.M’s Producer.) I’ve had moments where I questioned my worth as a P over the past few years. I've seen others’ achievements when I’m still trying to get my foot into learning Japanese up to this day. I've seen other Producers, same tantou or otherwise, rank high in the games when points ranking was still a thing while I’ve never been able to get past the Top 1000 event points ranking for a S.E.M/Michio-focused event. And I may probably never will.

However...

If it weren’t for the people I’ve met, the characters I’ve met, and the Producers I’ve met and would encounter... I often have my lonely days and would feel gloomy over things for no particular reason (and I still do), but I wouldn’t trade my own experiences with different friend groups I’ve made for the world.

I want to reach as high as I can to beat my past Top 100 success in Mirishita, even if it’s through my actions in a game I’ve yet to reach that same level. For as long as I’m allowed to produce my tantou units through whatever games they have left.

I want to continue supporting the idols I’ve met, and the two units I’ll continue to produce. Taking care of a pair of drinking buddies who are over 20 and a trio of ex-teachers doesn’t sound too bad.

I love S.E.M an insane amount. I love Michio an even more insane amount.

Because I wouldn’t be here without them. And maybe I wouldn't have gotten that first push to do all of what I’ve done without them.