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@forever-seeking-the-shade
Some days the treadmill is utter torture. Just...ugh. I don’t do this because I want to; I have to, to stay healthy. It completely sucked this morning. But I did it, it’s done for today, and maybe tomorrow will be easier.
Yesterday, a man asked me if I knew where my partner worked. My partner that I have been with for more than 20 years, who has worked at the same job for the majority of that time, at a business that has been around since the 60s, operating continuously at the same location. At the time, I didn’t think anything of it, and rattled off the address, because I know it off the top of my head. Upon reflection, however I’m left to wonder if this guy thought I was an idiot because I was a woman or what exactly was going through his head.
also you know what
you know what really fucking pisses me off about the whole “GASP ADULTS WRITING ABOUT KIDS” discourse
you know what really fucking pisses me off?
hi. i grew up in the bible belt of the midwest. as a young queer slowly coming to terms with being Super Not Straight, I grew up a town where there was one grocery store and eleven churches. on nice sunny days, before real summer heat set in, the chances of well-dressed smiling proselytizing boys with free copies of their holy books showing up at your door approached 100 percent. in my high school, there were to my knowledge about four queer kids, myself included in that number, and one of them was terrified to come out or even be seen with other boys because he grew up in the kind of household where you would absofuckinglutely be thrown out for being gay.
i did not have a queer childhood. this was just as the proliferation of the internet was starting to become a thing, but your best bet to get on a computer would be to go to the local library. the librarian, btw, was a devout christian and was part of the baptist church across the street. so the idea of using free resources to reach out or research what the fuck it meant to be queer was literally not an option.
i did not get queer literature. i did not get queer media. i subsisted on fandom, because it was the only type of content i knew that talked about being queer, that was positive about it, and was often created by adults who would point you to resources to help. this was before scarleteen and teen vogue and other sites.
fandom was my queer community, because i had zero alternatives. society gave me no alternatives.
and now I am looking at all these fearmongering puritanical moralizing shitheels go on and on about how any adult who writes about younger people is a predatory pedo
I did not get a fucking queer childhood. And if I want to sit down and write or read a story about queer teens who get a better shot, who do find love and feel comfortable experimenting with their sexuality instead of treating it like a potential death sentence,
you do not get to sit there and tell me what a fucking terrible human I am. I was a fucking kid too, and these are my stories too. they, in fact, are the stories fucking owed to me by a world that taught me to be afraid. and that part of my history as a human did not get erased when i passed some arbitrary milestone of time.
Society already stole the upbringing I should have had and locked me in a fucking closet until i was in my mid 20s, and you puritanical myopic shits have the fucking audacity to say me reaching back to try and remember something better makes me a pedophile, you dogwhistling dumbfucks.
you are literally on the same side as the people who made my best friend afraid his dad would beat him to death for coming out. that is where you stand. you use the same tactics and the same scripts. “oh if you are interested in these things…… that means you’re Wrong and will probably go to Hell :( why do you want to be such a bad person when you can be Straight And Pure?”
fuck off
I think this is the part that hurts the most: it’s mostly people who did get a queer childhood trying to shut down those of us who didn’t from talking about it.
ok so what if you worked in an old office building that had cool gargoyles on the outside. that’s sick, right? you don’t get why no one else thinks the gargoyles are awesome. you didn’t even watch that old 90′s gargoyle cartoon because you were too little when it was airing, but you’re vaguely familiar with the plot. you always did like the thought of statues and pictures and paintings having secret lives where no one could see.
in the summer, when it turns out the windows open, you leave a cup of coffee out on the ledge for the gargoyle that’s nearest the breakroom. it’s funny. it’s just a cute joke. your coworkers laugh, but not really at you. it’s harmlessly silly, and frankly working in an office kind of sucks. no one minds something extra to smile about.
the next day you go to get the mug back. the coffee’s gone, but the cup’s half full of rainwater and cigarette butts. haha, cute joke, someone else must be in on it. you wash the cup and put it back out fresh for the gargoyle. everyone’s calling him greg now. everyone smiles over greg’s morning coffee. greg needs his fix! greg is a valued employee. keep up the good work, greg. you set a mug of coffee out for greg every morning, now.
the stuff in the coffee mug that’s left behind keeps changing, though. it’s different every morning: always rainwater, but also cigarette butts, coffee grounds, a handful of gravel, some bottlecaps, gross old pennies. receipt papers, pigeon feathers, half a shoe.
then one morning it’s a whole, wrapped snickers bar. still in half a cup of dirty rainwater, but the plastic’s fine, the candy inside should be good.
‘huh. thanks, greg,’ you say, and after you get greg his coffee, you open the candy bar and have it right there, sitting on the windowsill.
‘so that’s what you guys eat,’ the gargoyle says, satisfied.
Warning: giant rant ahead
TW for religion, anger, homophobia
I went for a walk in the neighborhood of my new office the other day. Found an adorable espresso place. They do suspended coffee, where you can buy a coffee for some future person, someone homeless or someone who doesn’t have enough money. It’s a nice idea.
It wasn’t until I left, with an expertly pulled espresso, that I noticed the bible quote on the to-go cup.
I will not be going back there.
I looked up the business on google and discovered that the owners respond to every negative comment by repeating the same line about how they’re a Christian centered business. Ugh. Ugh. I do not need to know the religious beliefs of the people who pull my espresso shot. I really, really don’t.
I’m tempted to put on every bit of gay paraphernalia I own and go back in there, but I won’t. I know, from that bible quote on the coffee cup, that I’m not welcome there. And that the owners want nothing less than the extermination of me and everyone like me.
Why are Christians like this?
you’re allowed to get up one day and just decide to change who you are. dress differently, speak up more, laugh out loud even though you’ve never liked your laugh, say what you want to, say hey to people you wouldn’t normally, get that confidence going. we don’t have to stay the way people see us out of the fear that they won’t like the us we want to be.
2020 MOODBOARD
If you’re scrolling through tumblr trying to distract yourself from something you don’t want to think about or you’re looking for a sign that everything will be okay, this is it. So, breathe. Relax into this moment. You’re alive & that’s all that matters.
ATTENTION
If you see this you are OBLIGATED to reblog w/ the song currently stuck in your head :)
So I was just at my first anime convention in a long while and… Apparently Ouran high school host club is becoming relevant again?!!! It feels like all my childhood shows are all coming back!!! This is amazing! I’m gonna draw as much Ouran as I can while it lasts! (⌬̀⌄⌬́)
tropes i will never get tired of
fake dating
omniscient narrator who immediately contradicts the characters (“This is fine,” she said. It was, in no way, shape, or form, fine.)
deadpan jokes while swordfighting
the “I FUCKING LOVE MY WIFE” guy
oblivious pining that slowly escalates until A is going on page rants about how pretty B’s eyes are but still doesn’t seem to recognize they’re in love
Strong Leader Type having to physically fall down in order for the other characters to see how exhausted they are
funny villains who talk and make jokes with their heroes while they’re fighting them
the villains presented as the protagonists
*increasingly pulls out bigger and bigger weapons from more unlikely places*
“I said all of your weapons” *pulls out more*
“ALL OF THEM” *pulls out one last tiny dagger*
traumatized character using humor to cover up ptsd
characters going out for a break at a restaurant/movie/whatever and something bad happening
using the “*gasp* what’s that over there???” trick to avert the enemy’s attention and it working
a villain’s weakness being something totally random and nonsensical
a hero duo arguing over who’s the sidekick while fighting a villain
“don’t be silly, we don’t need [important thing]” “you lost it, didn’t you?” “yeah”
“what’s the one thing I told you not to do tonight?” “raise the dead” “and what did you do?” “raised the dead”
“I think that went pretty well” *explosion in the distance*
This right here is a serotonin generator
Something unlikely happening + two people swapping money in the background
Main characters freaking out over a kidnapped character possibly being tortured beyond imagination. Gilligan cut to said character having the time of their life/peaceful tea party with villain
or
“This mission will be easy. In and out.”
Gilligan cut to them being in the middle of a bloody battle
No gay has all 5:
- A job
- Good relationship with father
- Neurotypical brain
- Ability to top
- Driver’s license
this is a fun post because people will say how many they have in the tags then you get to figure out which ones.
And now it’s changed... I’m employed again!
*switches language mid sentence*
Please boost this!
From the website’s FAQ:
“Who is this for? Full Cart is perfect for hard working individuals and families looking for a way to extend their grocery budget.
Why is there no charge for the groceries? Full Cart partners with generous companies and organizations you know and love to cover the cost of your meals. All you pay is shipping.“
This makes my heart happy (and less stressed)
Check online/google - seeing that the coupon codes change all the time (try ‘noodles’ or ‘cyber’). Only in the US.
For anyone who needs this.
It’s my birthday!