[forgottenclockangel]

Intro post .

I’m Hours I’m no host but I’m out a lot. We’re an OSDD-1 system (I THINK.) Trauma + dissociation + fluctuating/changing identity + CPTSD.

Bodily 22

We are fine with any systems/plurals interacting as long as you are kind. We are using this account to be a safe space for ourselves.

We may miss trigger warnings every now and then but we will try and start putting them more if ppl follow…

If you are curious about us feel free to send asks if you’d like.

[forgottenclockangel]

I hate mood swings I was actually feeling so good and normal but now I feel really sad again

[forgottenclockangel]

I hate the sudden emotional shift the day or few days before a period starts like 🥲 it’s like

Haha you know , it sure doesn’t feel like my period is about to start. You know, like, usually I feel a lot sadder! Usually after feeling oddly giddy and hap- oh. Nvm. It’s hitting now

[pluralskeepliving]

reason to live #17:

you'll move out of that place someday, i promise. your new house will be full of love and laughter and kindness.

[forgottenclockangel]

Noooooobody likes me

[pride-stars]

Locked and Loaded : a term for systems that lack the "cluelessness" when it comes to new headmates. Also called a LaL system.

[heartandjelly]

Rashed Haq

[forgottenclockangel]

Dude I was driving and my leg on the petal started feeling a vague tingle feeling I HATE IT because I couldn’t even fix it safely cuz I was driving

[forgottenclockangel]

System Vent . Tw s/h, syscourse, denial, forced dormancy

Goddddd. I hate being a system I HATE IT!!!!! I hate the system community why is everybody always fucking arguing over everything . Everybody thinks they know everything .

I hate not knowing exactly what caused my system to form because even if I’m pretty sure it was smth traumatic the idea of being endogenic (or even traumagenic without a dissociative disorder?) feels like a death sentence to me 😞 like what do I just pretend my system doesn’t exist any time I’m unsure of my trauma????? Is that what I’m supposed to be doing????? Ffs.

I haven’t been able to grasp onto a firm identity in ages. Maybe life has been too crazy but I can’t help feeling like I’m losing my headmates and it makes me feel denial. I wish it wasn’t all so fucking confusing.

Back in 2019 we thought we were endogenic (a tulpamancy) but in 2020 we found out that was frowned upon so our old host forced the system into dormancy. They would hit their head to make everybody leave. Anytime the talked they’d ignore them and push them away. And even though now we know we could’ve been traumatized and most our plural experiences seem to link to trauma, the fact we don have any early childhood memories that feel solidly plural is so frustrating to us.

And we wish we had a community where we don’t either feel not traumatized enough or too wary of being endogenic . I wish we could just learn instead of getting shown 500 posts about whether or not being endogenic is valid. I DONT CARE!!!!!!!!!! I FONT CARE!!!!!!!!! If people say they make people on their head what does that have to do with me!!!!!if they’re kind to me we could be friends idc!!!!!

I’m so tired I wish there was anybody I could relate to .

I keep having scars I don’t remember when I put them. It’s been like about every month.? I don’t remember why they’re there. I know how! Idk why. After a few days it could’ve been a week for all I know. I see them.

I’m tired. We’ve been so detached from everything lately

IDK. I wish there was anywhere somewhere we felt validated as a system but not even in our own body do we feel like one sometimes . And it feels like most ppl in the system community don’t experience it like we do so it feel so aughhhh. None of the resources I find work well for me I hate it. I don’t want to build a headmate I can’t even determine who I already have . I don’t know HOW to map a system. I don’t know how I’d get away with carrying around a notebook. I set reminders and nobody looks at them. I keep a diary but I never know who’s writing. I can’t tell if I even change because of alters or some mystery medical issue . SIGH. And it’s not like anybody treats us like separate people either 😞 we do not feel like totally new people every time we switch we just know we are multiple people idk how to explain it. I hate that we have the most clarity in crisis situations

[orchardsys]

A comic about something that happened a while ago,, I still feel guilty in a way that I was there that day.

[daily-plural-questions]

Daily plural question: How do memories work in your system/collective/etc? Is it a collective stream, completely separate individual memories, or something else?

Question suggested by anon!

[isyoursystem]

does the system have members that used to be believed to be "OCs" but really never were? not an introjected OC. like you thought that was an OC but now hes talking to you and hes eating your chicken nuggets

Does the system have members that used to be believed to be "OCs" but really never were?

Yes, multiple

Yes, one

No

Unsure

Nuance

Voting ended onMar 5

[forgottenclockangel]

Are we actually supposed to remember anything like. Don’t ask me anything I fidla at month and don’t ask me anything I did3 days ago. I don’t remember! Most of my memory I need to look at my routines and schedules of what I do in those days 😭

[forgottenclockangel]

(Cw s/h)

Like I don’t remember much of Monday but what we served for lunch at my job. Because we serve the same stuff every week on certain days. I cannot tell you when I got the red marks on my leg though . I know how. Idk exactly why. Idk when. But like, obviously they’re there 😭

[forgottenclockangel]

Are we actually supposed to remember anything like. Don’t ask me anything I fidla at month and don’t ask me anything I did3 days ago. I don’t remember! Most of my memory I need to look at my routines and schedules of what I do in those days 😭

[forgottenclockangel]

I’m watching an lps series that seems to be by a younger child and it’s actually very entertaining. Should out to children in the arts.

[forgottenclockangel]

Rewatching LPS double trouble after probably like 10 years or smth. THESE PLOT TWISTS KEEP GETTING ME. (I forgot them.) This is crazy .

[dogpuppy]