Forgotten Paradox

What am I thinking? Do you really want to know? Read on... i'll tell you everything...

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Ever noticed you appreciate people more when they are not around? We never seem to think about how fantastic someone is when they are right next to us. Flawed human nature.

Forgotten Paradox

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If she's special to you you'll smile when another guy checks her out; But you'd drop him in a heartbeat if he lay a finger on her

Forgotten Paradox

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Love; not lust? yeah right!

What is love? People say love is not lust; they are wrong. Love is an extension of lust.

Let me clarify; Ask almost anyone what love is and you will get a pretty generic answer of Love it being willing to do anything for that one person and actually they aren't wrong. but what is that? it;s a choice.

What is attraction? attraction is lust; lust is what brings you in. You then make a choice; fight or flight; stay for the long haul or haul arse out of there. that is love; the choice. and the choice only comes about after lust. So the next time someone tells you that's not love; that's lust just remember; love cannot exist without lust!

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Been a while... I must have been happy...

Wow... it's been quite a while since my last post.

Guess it means I must have been completely happy, actually I have been. amazing huh. how many people can say that?

You don't know what you've got till it's gone.

We've all heard that line, and; while we may brush it aside we also all know it to be true. As soon as something you care about about is gone you start thinking about all the fantastic things about said thing.

And the same applies with a person; Someone comes into your life; you might realize they are important to you. But you will never realize how much they mean to you until they are no longer there. 

You don't have to lose them completely though. Cherie and our new baby daughter Erica are away on camp this weekend. and I feel like they are never coming home. I can't sleep; can't concentrate on my website's; can't concentrate on anything at all. 

Guess it's part of being in love; but quite frankly right at this moment, Love sucks.

So yeah; I am still happy; but my god am I missing them!

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What to do when your best isn't good enough?

Time for some reflection I think,

Where is my life at? I am living in Wanganui; with the person I love. I have taken on her child as my own; and love the child like my own. She is pregnant again; a child of our own making. We are engaged; to be married in 2013. I am working; Saving every dollar I can for us to move out.

Sound's pretty good when I put it that way, actually; that sounds like a pretty good life by any standards, and I am hell happy, it's where I want to be. and I think.. thought she was happy with where things are at as well. But apparently I am sitting on my arse not doing anything for this child that is on the way. Erm what? I am doing all I can. I am working, I am saving, I am trying to find things where I can, and I am trying to prove to everyone that we can do this. I am giving it my best.

But it's not good enough for you apparently, what do you want? what can I do? I asked you about it; asked you what I can do, "I don't know!" you said. How am I meant to do any more if you don't even know what you wan't me to do?

So, in I go, to ask you what I have done wrong, and everything I have in your room is on the floor, outside your door. you're pissed at me, I get that, I don't get why though. Sitting there talking you start crying, and I am cuddling you, and your mum enters "did he do this to you?!" she accuses.. I am trying to work things out with you and then get accused of hurting you or something?!?

Talking again, you say you cannot remember what happened five minutes ago, let alone last week while we were sitting on the bed, with you on my knee cuddling to make you feel better "apparently 5 minutes ago you were chucking out all my stuff;" I notice the teddy in the pile "*pause* including the teddy I gave you" That hurt more than I would have expected, the reason I gave you the teddy? sort of as a replacement comfort for when I was away in wellington, sort of as a temporary replacement for me, so by chucking teddy out the door it felt a lot like you were chucking me out personally.

What should I do when my best is not good enough? What would you do?

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I can feel the anger, a raging torrent of energy rushing through my body, setting off all my nerves one by one. Anger is raw power.

Forgotten Paradox

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They say you can tell how much a person loves you by how they look after you when you are sick... Why do they never mention the flip side? You can tell how much you love a person by how much you are willing to do to make them better...

Forgotten paradox

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Some people write love songs, I get you to listen to my heart because every beat is a note in a never ending love song for your ears alone.

Forgotten Paradox

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Remember when...

It's been three months now that i've been here. Wanganui. Your home. Three months living in the same house as you. No longer four hours to see you. Four rooms away instead.

Remember when we would stay up even when the sun was rising, just so we didn't have to say goodbye.

Remember when every text our hearts lit up with hope that it was from each other.

Remember when waking up was the best part of the day because there was always a text waiting to greet you.

Remember when a weekend together felt like an eternity while together and less than a moment once apart.

Remember when saying goodbye was the hardest thing you ever had to do, and got harder every time you did it.

Remember when hearing each others voice could make any problem seem insignificant.

Remember when a touch sent more shocks to your body than an electric shock.

Remember when you missed me? Remember when you wanted me? Remember when you loved me?

I do. Because. I miss you every time I can't see you. I love you every time I think of you. I want you every time something goes right or wrong.

My feelings have not lessened when the distance has. My feelings have enhanced as the contact has. I left my home to live with you in yours. The best move i've ever made.

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There's a reason your name isn't in any dictionary. No words could ever describe you well enough.

Forgotten Paradox

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The world is ours to shape. Stand by me, hold my hand and we will mould paradise together.

Forgotten Paradox

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How do I know I love you? Even when I am angry, your smile makes it OK. Even when I am hurt, I still want to make you happy. Even when you look terrible, You are still beautiful in my eyes. Even when you are having a bad day, You are still the best thing in mine.

Forgotten Paradox

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A teacher in New York was teaching her class about bullying and gave them the following exercise to perform. She had the children take a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stamp on it and really mess it up but do not rip it. Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty is was. She then told them to tell it they’re sorry. Now even though they said ...they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left behind. And that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it. That is what happens when a child bully’s another child, they may say they’re sorry but the scars are there forever. The looks on the faces of the children in the classroom told her the message hit home. Pass it on

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Epic...

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If I tried to write you a letter to tell you how much you mean to me the world would run out paper. So instead I will just say the three words that explain it all. I love you.

Forgotten Paradox

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A new relationship should be lived now, not in the shadow of the past.

When you enter a relationship leave your past behind. How many of you enter a relationship, but hold back because you are scared, Scared that this person will do the same thing as your previous partner? That's not how a relationship works, when you enter a relationship you are saying to that person that you trust them that when you let them see right through you they wont abuse that privilege. Don't enter a relationship and let your new partner live in your previous partners shadows. If you do that your relationship is already starting out on the wrong grounds and is doomed to fail. Be wary, of course be wary when you look for your new partner, but when you choose them give them everything you have. Every time you don't you let the people who have hurt you in the past hurt you again.

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The feeling like you have done something wrong, but have no idea what it is...

Forgotten Paradox

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I don't want to hear what I want to hear, I want to hear what you have to say.

Forgotten Paradox