Hey! I’m sorry if I’m disturbing you in any way, but do you have any advice for how to just live now? I keep thinking of the past and feeling like whatever is there is all that defines me (the good and the awful stuff) but i feel like most of it is meaningless deep down... like, I know it’s gone and I WANT to move on so desperately but at the same time it’s like I’m scared I’m gonna go back to everything I didn’t want to go back to if that makes sense?
Hi there & please know that you aren’t disturbing me at all!
I’m not sure what the situation is, but my best advice for this is something that I have to remind myself of often: your past doesn’t define you, but it assists in molding you. What I mean by this is that everything that happens to us is a piece of our identity, in the sense that it gives us a better understanding of that thing that happened to us. We can understand that thing far more than others who haven’t experienced that thing; we can resonate and empathize with others who have also experienced that thing. The experience gives us more wisdom, more insight, and more empathy for this specific thing. It isn’t meaningless, but rather an experience that molds a part of us. I hope this makes sense. Now, just because we can identify with that thing does not mean that our identity is that thing. It isn’t who we are, just because we experienced it.
In terms of moving forward, it’s ok to not be ready, but it’s also ok to try to move forward, to take a few steps, then slow down if it feels like too much. It’s ok to “live in the now” simply by waking up each day and doing something you love or something that makes you happy or something that makes you feel calm and not worry about anything else. It’s ok to be anxious and scared about taking steps to move forward, but remember that those feelings are only temporary and situational; they won’t last forever. Remember, every single day is a day you are moving forward, without realizing it. That fact in of itself is progress.
Living in the now, in my opinion, is as simple as taking things day by day. By considering opportunities as they come and taking them if they feel right, by focusing on the good that will be coming your way and not on the bad that is behind you.
I hope I didn’t ramble too much & if I did I really hope these ramblings make sense.
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