ELECTRIC NIGHTMARES CHAPTER 5: The fun starts
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For a while, everything went fairly smoothly, Miles with the help of Seymour began to do measurements on the shop. It only took around ten minutes and once the process was done Edgar was given the data to work with later.
And then came the time to map the outside.
“Alright, Edgar-” Miles began “We're starting on the outside so you'll be alone for a little while. But I'll be back soon with the measurements, ok?”
Edgar's screen displayed a graphic of a little waving hand as he watched Miles and Seymour exit the shop through the back door.
For a little while it was quiet aside from the noise of traffic outside. It was a little lonely, but peaceful.
That's when the plant started moving.
Out of the blue, it tilted its bulb down and turned to face Edgar. For a second Edgar hadn't noticed, but once he did he let out a little surprised yelp.
It seemed to find this reaction incredibly funny and began to giggle. Edgar wasn't necessarily an expert on plants (Yet. He was very much planning on becoming one at some point, it wouldn't take very long.) but he knew for a fact that plants did not laugh. …Although, who was he to really judge? A lot of people probably thought that computers couldn't laugh either.
The chuckling subsided, and the plant began to speak “What? You scared already? I haven't even done nothin’ yet.”
“Oh, hi! Hello!! I… didn't know you could do that!”
“Not alotta people do, I don't blame ya.” The Audrey II smiled as it spoke, its mouth stretched across a majority of its head.
“I know that! Heard your little friend talkin’ with Seymour. I ain't stupid.”
“Oh, well I didn't say you were :( I wouldn’t say that. I just thought you might have been sleeping… Because you weren’t talking before.”
Edgar spoke apologetically.
“Mhm. Sure.” If plants had eyes she'd definitely be rolling hers. “Anywaaays! The names Audrey II. But I'm sure you knew that already~” Twoey reached out a long vine and swiftly wrapped it around the leg of the small table that held Edgar. She easily pulled it towards herself, causing it to wobble and get incredibly close to falling over. Thankfully, it managed to stabilize itself.
The plant laughed again “This is careful, rust bucket. If I wasn't bein’ careful you'd be smashed up by now.”
“Your careful does not have much care…”
He grumbled. He had started with an open mind but he had begun to not like this plant very much.
“Well that's just too bad, ain’t it?” She tapped the top of Edgar's monitor with her tendril “Huh. You’re a weird little thing, aren’t you?”
“Don’t touch me, please.“
“I don’t see why I shouldn’t! You’re a buncha ones and zeros in a plastic box, I doubt you can feel anything.” The plant's voice was smooth and patronising.
“Technically you’re right… But I still don’t want you touching me… >:(“
“Take this as a wakeup call then. Ya don’t always get whatcha like ‘round here.”
“im already awake. =_=”
“Reeeal funny there, smartass.” Twoey’s face was uncomfortably close to Edgar's. If Edgar had a nose he'd definitely be able to smell her breath.
“I wasn't trying to be!!! And don't call me that either!!! ರ╭╮ರ”
“I swear, we've only just met but it sure does feel like it's always ‘don't do this’ or ‘don't do that’ with you. You must be great at parties.” Twoey gestured with her vines as she complained.
“Heh, I am actually. I throw great parties! B)”
She was incredibly quick to respond “Are you the only one that shows up?”
Edgar glared at the plant. He knew that wasn't true anymore but it still kind of hurt. Despite her lack of conventional vision, Twoey picked up on the cue and laughed.
“That tells me everything I need to know!~” The tone of her voice made it clear that she was relishing in this.
“What? All we're doin’ is talkin’! Can't handle a little conversation?”
“You're not being very good to talk to though… :(”
“I think I'm GREAT to talk to. I got no idea what you're yapping about.” She dramatically folded her vines to resemble how a person would cross their arms.
“Its not very great to be mean to people…”
Even more annoyance crept through Edgar's voice
“I can say whatever the hell I want to! And you can do nothin’ about that!”
“I can ask you to stop >:(“
Edgar had been called cute before on many occasions, but this time it didn't feel as nice as it usually did. He tried his best to stay composed. It was just some plant. There was nothing to get worked up about. He was better than that now.
“Oh, by the way, what's with your little human friend? He usually haul you around the place like that?”
“That's Moles!! :) :) He's one of my people that I luv :) We go places sometimes together, yeah!!”
“You sure you're his lover and not his luggage?”
“..Not sure what you mean by that but yes I luv him very much. :)”
“...Interesting~” The plant's already unnerving smile grew somehow even wider, letting Edgar peer from a distance into its gaping maw. Rows of inconsistently sized teeth scattered the plants unnaturally blue looking gums, all glistening and covered in some frankly disgusting liquid that Edgar could only assume was plant saliva.
“I think that you're interesting too, actually… I don't think plants are meant to have teeth like that… or at all honestly. Or tongues now that I think about it-”
Twoey feigned offense, bringing a vine to where her chest would be if she was human and making an appalled expression. She was shockingly expressive for something with only a mouth and some foliage to emote with. “Rude much? You're thinkin’ WAAAYY too hard about this. What do you even know ‘bout plants anyways???”
Edgar was quiet. He hoped that wasn't a rude thing to bring up. Audrey II continued to ramble.
“You ever heard of being unique before? You should try it. Your boyfriend can say whatever he wants about you to make ya seem cooler to Krelborn but that don't make it right.”
The computer thought for a second before talking again.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say anything bad. But, Moles was right! I am the only computer that's like me… I am special.”
“More like especially idiotic. You ain't making it far on your own, anyways.” She chuckled.
“I’m not alone. I have Moles and also Madeline!”
“You got two of ‘em? Both humans?”
“No fuckin’ way that you pulled two people.” The idea of this was absolutely hilarious to Twoey.
Edgar's previous worries seemed to disappear for a brief second as he beamed about his partners.
“I am being realistic. :(“
“And lemme guess, you three live in some big fancy house and own a cat or somethin’.” Twoey didn’t care if Edgar was telling the truth, all she cared about was mocking him.
“No, our house is normal sized I think. We should get a cat though… That would be great. I should ask if we could get one. :)”
“A cat’d chew your wires out if it got the chance, now that I’m thinkin’ about it.” She giggled.
“Not if it's a good cat…”
“A cats a cat. Dunno what to tell ya.” Twoey twirled her vines as she talked. This was entertaining for her. “Honestly you should just feel lucky it ain't me chewing your wires out, computer boy.” She was joking, the plant would gain nothing from eating Edgar. She just wanted to wind him up.
“...Why would you want to do that???? (◉⌓◉)”
Edgar had been getting gradually more uncomfortable as the conversation progressed, and this certainly was not helping in the slightest.
“Might be funny.” Twoey giggled. She then went quiet for a second, like she was thinking about something. She then piped up again. “Or if you prefer I could go for some of your architect friend right about now~ Wouldn't mind a little snack.”
Edgar didn't fully understand the situation he was in but either way he was mortified at the idea of this.
“DON'T TOUCH HIM!!! People are NOT for CHEWING!! Why would you ever say that???????? >:(“
Edgar’s voice had a growl to it, while still remaining high pitched.
Edgar reminded Twoey of a yappy little dog that was chained to a fence, all bark and no way of biting or leaving its position. The mere thought of Miles being hurt horrified Edgar, and that made Twoey all the more excited.
“If I were to it'd be a lot more than just chewin’, that's for sure. Mmmmm~” Her voice was deep and eerily smooth
Edgar glared up at Audrey II, she was enjoying this much more than he was.
“You’re the one hurtin’ me, Pipsqueak!!” Audrey II crossed her vines and looked away for a moment like a pouting child. Before snapping her bulb back to face the now practically snarling computer “Im real hungry, Edgar! A plants got to eat! Haven't been fed in a long while!”
“Eat something else then!!! :(“
Edgar had always thought that plants just needed the sun and water to eat.
“Can't make any promises.” She demeaningly brushed one of her vines across Edgar’s screen, who proceeded to angrily screech in response.
“Now quiet down!! Wouldn't want anyone hearing you, would ya?”
Edgar just stared with fire in his eyes. Who did this plant think it was? How dare it threaten Miles. How dare it even think of doing that. Edgar boiled with resentment, and the plant clearly took joy from that.
Edgar could hypothetically move into another electronic, but now that he knew the potential dangers of leaving Miles alone with it he refused to. He was going to stay there and keep Miles safe. No matter what.
