plants in space

part time rodeo clown

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

alternatives to “i want to die”:

i want things to change

i want a different life

today was a shitty day/week

i don’t want to live like this

i want to be somewhere else in life

i’m not where i want to be yet

+ much more

[3l1zzy]

Here's a few that I started to say because I thought they were funny so I was more likely to use them!

Wack

Unfortunate (can be shortened to unforch)

Sub-par execution

I would prefer the opposite of this, actually

Not a fan of this approach

Not very cash-money

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

unforch :)

[qthewhatever]

"I am about to become the joker" is one of mine

[cryptidvagabond]

some more to add to the list

Can we not?

I'd prefer that ya didn't.

This is not ideal.

This did not spark joy.

No thank you. (just, in general.)

Skill issue. (or, alternatively) Speed run strats.

Why are you like this? (aimed at the universe, not you)

Awesome. (it is, in fact, not awesome)

and my personal favorite

This is gonna be a whole thing, isn't it?

[depsidase]

[whatthebec-deactivated20150323]

[mysharona1987]

[catchymemes]

[bogwizzerd]

bethesda games rly are just held together by scotch tape and dreams huh

[whitepeopletwitter]

[googlemenot-deactivated20230921]

[lordnot]

[coolxatu]

love wins

[no-chill-at-all]

[see]

barbie official: we’re gonna put all our movies on youtube for free!

youtube, still selling their movies: huh? what’d they say they were going to do?

[see]

here’s a link to a playlist since everyone’s a fan of this post

[weaver-z]

How the media depicts the Apollo 11 mission:

Actual quotes from the Apollo 11 mission:

[georgieharrisons]

also according to michael collins when the three of them were discussing what neil armstrong should say when he first stepped on the moon, collins suggested armstrong say “Oh, my God, what is that thing?”  and then scream and cut out his mic.

[wickedwitch-of-the-left]

all you’ve done is convince me that michael collins was one of the funniest men alive tbh

[finnwolfhards]

this is superior humor

[the-bitch-of-izalith-deactivate]

me going to the store for some chips and a soda

[the-bitch-of-izalith-deactivate]

me at the store paying for my chips and soda

[the-bitch-of-izalith-deactivate]

me heading back to my home with my chips and soda

[the-bitch-of-izalith-deactivate]

me in my home enjoying my chips and soda

[skyr1mslut]

its pop u uncultured fuk 

[the-bitch-of-izalith-deactivate]

die

[dailyshowbiz]

KINGSMAN: THE GOLDEN CIRCLE (2017) - dir. Matthew Vaughn

[princeheathen]

okay i uh. have not seen kingsman and i have not seen rocketman and i really was waiting for the caption to say rocketman 

[jeffc3s]

[catgirl-kaiju]

Damn this blockbuster got shit to say

[twitblr]

[frogitivity]

hi could i ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire??

Microwave for 40 minutes 😔

[evie-infinity-deactivated202308]

why were you microwaving a lemon???

[frogitivity]

I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn’t own any pots

[muchos-michis-chikis]

Did you burn an orange too? How???

[frogitivity]

Microwave for 40 minutes 😔

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]