I'm Santana. 18, a senior at McKinley High. There's not much else to say; ask me anything dumb and I'll make sure your face finds a good wall to slam into. And don't fuck with me. Just don't.
Notes → Rachel and Santana make an important trip and pay some people a visit.
Rachel rubbed circles into the side of Santana's hand as she drove them to the cemetery. Each of them had a bouquet of flowers in their laps. Her eyes followed the lines of trees outside of the window. "Do you want me to stay with you the whole time?"
Santana let out a breath once she'd parked, contemplating their hands for a few moments before replying. "Yeah. Let's stay together," she murmured, unlocking the doors. "Who goes first?"
Rachel nodded and looked up at the green hills. "I can go first if you'd prefer." She reluctantly let go of her hand to get the keys from the ignition. "I'll get your door," she said softly before climbing out and walking around to open it for her.
Santana slowly got out of the car, shutting the door that Rachel opened for her. She put her free hand in her pocket, her other holding the bouquet of sunflowers she'd brought. "Okay," she said softly. They were alone but the whole atmosphere demanded quiet nonetheless. "I'm right here."
Rachel had been there before and alone, but the darkness then had been inviting whereas the dark sky tonight seemed sinister. She wished she could take Santana's hand but just held onto her bouquet with both hands. The path to Finn's grave was familiar. She stopped a few feet away and said quietly, "Wait here for me, please?"
Santana hadn't been anywhere near the graveyard, not since the funerals. And those seemed a lifetime away. She nodded, taking a step back to give Rachel some privacy if she wanted. Breathe in, breathe out, she reminded herself.
Rachel walked to Finn's grave and laid down the flowers, centering them perfectly and dusting off his grave. "I cleaned out your locker," she said quietly. "There were a lot of food wrappers." A quiet laugh escaped her before she wiped at her cheek. "I'm going to New York, Finn. And I swear, my name is going to be up there in bright lights. Bright enough for you to see from heaven." She kissed her fingers and pressed it to his name. "I love you." She wiped at her eyes again before standing and going to meet Santana, hugging her despite being in public.
Santana swallowed the small lump in her throat, trying not to stare but failing, hoping she wouldn't end up bawling once they moved onto her turn. She was doing pretty well so far. But maybe that was because they were still in the H's and the P's were pretty far down the row. Without a word, she returned the hug when Rachel came back to her, brushing her fingers briefly over her cheek before slowly pulling back.
Rachel gave her a sad smile as she touched her cheek. As she led them towards Brittany's grave, she kept her hand at her hand just in case Santana wanted to take it.
Santana 's heart sped as they approached Brittany's grave. It had been so many months since she'd seen it, and now it was there. They were there. Not tearing her eyes away from the stone, she found Rachel's hand still close to hers and gave it a brief, tight squeeze. "I'll be right back," she told her, her voice surprisingly clear and firm. Santana stopped in front of the grave, finding a small pile of daisies already there, probably from her parents. She put her flowers next to theirs, then knelt, realizing she hadn't thought about what she was going to say. "Hi, Britt," she said softly. "I brought you sunflowers. The other day I talked to Sue and I signed her yearbook for you. From you and LT, you know. I really hope you're doing good up there. I'm doing a lot better and I know you helped with that. Because you're the smartest person I'll ever know. And I love you. Proudly so," she echoed the memory in her mind, slowly getting back to her feet.
Rachel nodded and stayed behind. She turned around and overlooked the cemetery before she ended up walking down a ways to the end of the P's. A sad smile came to her face as she saw Noah's grave. She cleaned off his tombstone the same way she had for Finn's. "Hey Noah." A quiet half sob half laugh left her. "You missed me getting high!" she laughed again. "I always thought that you'd find a way to trick me into it at a party or something." She sat back and hugged her knees to her chest. It was easier talking to him. "I'm sorry for the drinking I did. I know you wouldn't have liked that. I miss you a lot, you know. You and Sam are the only people I would sing country for. I hope that I'll get to see you again. I don't know where we end up. But I'd like to think that we'll all be in the same place." She nodded to herself and stood. "I'll never forget you, Noah." She touched his grave again before starting back towards Santana as she wiped at her eyes again.
Santana glanced down the row to find Rachel, making her way over to her. "Hey," she said softly. From where she was Santana could see which grave Rachel had been at, but something stopped her from wanting to pay Puck a visit as well. It would've been too much for one day and she was determined not to cry in a place where Brittany was. "Are we done?"
Rachel sniffed and nodded, turning back towards her car. "Yeah, let's get home. We can take a nap." 'We can hold each other.'
Santana "Yeah." She walked in step with Rachel for a few quiet moments, and after letting out a breath she reached over the few inches of space between them and took her hand.
Rachel laced her fingers with Santana, proud of her for taking her own. "Are you okay?"
Santana 's grip tightened on her hand. "I think I am. Are you?"
Rachel nodded and unlocked her car, opening the passenger door for Santana with her free hand. "I think so. But going home and holding each other sounds good."
Santana let her fingers linger a little before she reluctantly let go. She buckled herself in, a combination of sadness and contentment going through her. "That sounds perfect. Just us in bed... Thank you for coming with me."
Rachel walked around to climb into her side, starting the car and backing out to start for home. "You're welcome, Love," she said warmly, taking her hand again.
Santana traced out circles on the back of her hand like Rachel had done for her on the ride there. "I think they're proud," she said quietly, her eyes on the road. "Even when we're not here anymore, they'll still be proud."
Rachel "I know she's proud of you," she said warmly. "And they'll be proud of us wherever we are."
Santana "And you too, right?" she looked over at her. "Wherever we go?"
[Having taken the seat beside Santana and the same familiar stance that came with it, Quinn waited, poised for whatever Sue had left to say as what she could only presume would be parting words. However, she’d been expecting warnings of the adverse effects of binge drinking, unprotected sex, and the dangers of New York City. Pride hadn’t been on her mind one bit. She looked to Santana, as though she might know what was going on, but she seemed to be drawing a blank as well.] Thanks, Coach…
[‘There’s no need for thanking here, Q, I am simply stating facts. You two girls have always been among my most prize-winning of Cheerios, and dare I say my favorites, and seeing you grow from plucky freshmen recruits into the accomplished seniors who sit before me today has admittedly been my pleasure. You’ve both come a long way and I can say with certainty that your futures are bright.’ Sue looked away then to an empty chair pushed off into the corner behind Quinn, and without the Cheerios coach saying a word, she knew who that chair would’ve seated had things been different.]
[Santana's gaze dropped down into her lap, but only for a second before she was back to meeting Sue's eyes with a slight nod.] Yeah...thanks. You were um-- [She stopped herself from saying "a pleasure" in return because really, life as a Cheerio under Sue Sylvester had been a living hell most of the time. A couple choice memories came to mind. The horrid protein shakes and fat flushes. Being punished for her summer surgery and being banished to the bottom of the pyramid.] The best coach we could've had. [Sue scoffed lightly at that, but there was a faint smile on her lips.]
['So, before I tell you both to get out of my office, I have one more thing.' From a drawer in her desk Sue took out the current year's yearbook, automatically flipping it to the inside cover and clicking a pen to hand over to Quinn first. 'Write me something before you go.']
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