Foster Dad says. . .

I'm a husband, a teacher, and now a foster dad. It is turning out to be a heartwarming, heartbreaking, often hilarious experience.

[mykidjustsaid]

I’m gonna need a tall glass of milk and a moment alone.

[mykidjustsaid]

Juuuuuust in case! What have you carried around for your kid?

By Dad and Buried

[artyougladididart]

[hoespice-deactivated20180619]

an autobiography

[fosterdadsays]

This was the theme for Smalls' 1st birthday party.

[fosterdadsays]

[fosterdadsays]

Roller coaster

Smalls was to spend Wednesday morning through Friday afternoon with bio-mom. Wednesday night J got a text from mom, she was stressing out. Smalls came home that night and bio-mom said she'd changed her mind and we CAN take Smalls to Disney! J told me this over the phone on her way back from picking her up and I burst into tears. I'm so happy and excited to experience Disney with our little peanut. I also cried when I saw her asleep in the car seat and began taking her out - I missed her so much and was overwhelmed at the Disney news and having her home and seeing her there all asleep and cute and handling all the change like a champ.

We still need confirmation about the trip to Florida, but it looks good!

[fosterdadsays]

Denial

I seem to be in denial that Smalls is leaving us. This week she will be with bio-mom for 3 days and 2 nights. This may "help"; it sink in. :-(

[gladlyboastingmyweaknesses-deac]

Foster parents out there!

If you are a foster parent/adoptive/guardianship/kinship parent reblog this!! I want to follow more people who get it!!:)

[fosterdadsays]

Dealing with it

In 3 weeks Smalls will be out of our home, but never out of our hearts. Tonight Smalls is at her second overnight at her mom's house. Having the room across the hall empty is hard. Last week I swear I heard her - but she wasn't there. I don't know how to deal with her leaving us. I see the visit schedule, and know that she will be with us less and less and in 3 weeks our house will lose the sound of her giggles, cries, laughter, and coos. I seem to be in denial that it is actually going to happen. It hits me in the quiet times. When I'm rocking her to sleep, and telling her that I love her, that she is a smart, brave little girl, and that I'm thankful for the opportunity to have been her dad for these last 9 months - I find myself holding back the tears. J got our license upgraded to 2 kiddos. This way we can take another kiddo in and still be able to take Smalls back if she re-enters the system. -We got a call tonight for a 7 month old little boy. It is so hard. I feel guilty saying no. Guilty because I know J wants to always say yes and I hate to do that to her. Guilty because I know that this little boy needs a home. But Smalls is still with us. I need to complete this process with her and for her. I need some time for my heart to scar, heal, and be ready to do it all again.

[fosterdadsays]

Another goodbye

The process of Smalls going home has been set in motion. She'll start overnights next week and a night will be added each week until she is back home at the end of June. I'm not okay. It hurts. I love her so much. We've been her home and parents for eight of her ten months and she has grown and changed so much. It is going to be a painful process of her being slowly taken away from us. The hardest thing is going to be holding it together when Smalls is with us so our anguish doesn't affect her. If anyone knows has advice on dealing with this I am open to hearing it.

[fosterdadsays]

A sign

45 minutes of screaming, and singing "Zip-a-dee-doo-dah" is what did the trick. If that isn't a sign that this little girl needs to go to Disney, I do t know what is!

[fosterdadsays]

I scream you scream, okay just you scream.

Seven hour visit today. Smalls woke up and has been screaming for the last 30 minutes. She seems inconsolable. A new diaper hasn’t worked. Rocking hasn’t worked. Bouncing hasn’t worked. A bottle hasn’t worked. Singing hasn’t worked. Switching off with J hasn’t worked. I expect I’ll get tagged back in soon.

[fosterdadsays]

Getting older (her, not me)

In happier news Smalls turned 9 months old! We've had her for 6 and a half months and she has grown and changed so much. It is so amazing to be a part of her life.

[fosterdadsays]

Is more better?

Bio-mom is getting another long visit added. This means two 7+ hour visits. At a meeting with our case manager we learned that the next step will be an overnight visit. I can't imagine her sleeping away from us, I don't know how I'll cope if she goes back to bio-mom. I'm fighting the tears just thinking about it.

[fosterdadsays]

Disney?

J is at a family team meeting. We thought it made more sense for Smalls and I to stay home. On the agenda is a trip to Disney World in July. No decisions are expected to be made, but we want to bring it up as bio - parents can say no and we want them to have to to process the idea. I have this feeling J is going to come home from this meeting in tears or elated, that something will happen, be said that results in one of those outcomes We are so excited for the opportunity to bring Smalls to Disney and so are our family. It will be so amazing to watch her react to all the magic! I hope we can bring her.

[onethousandfires]

[fosterdadsays]

Uh, yikes

[fosterdadsays]

6 months.

Yesterday was the 6 month mark since Smalls joined us. It has been, and continues to be, amazing. And scary. And full of uncertainty - and smiles and laughter and love so deep and complete it makes me sick to think about her not being with us forever.

[fosterdadsays]

Drop off

Dropped Smalls off at daycare for the first time (J does it usually)- I didn't like it. I'd much rather go get her than have to leave her somewhere.