prepare to be disappointed

[ru1n3r]

i feel like im constantly taking damage

[fosters-shitpost]

-1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp

[cutecipher]

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

[aboutoriginality]

[frontmansdefender]

[simply-a-dream]

“don’t take it personally” how would you like me to take it then? professionally? romantically? academically?

[creative-anchorage]

[suriandtaal]

[dailycatsblog]

[maxknightley]

being a jack of all trades is dope as fuck honestly. it's like I'm doing crop rotation inside my own brain

[fagcrisis]

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

[maryoliveoil]

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

[vulpinesaint]

saying "question mark?" and "however comma," out loud are game changers. punctuation on the go. and it's always the funniest thing that anyone around you has ever heard

[redstonedust]

this sucks im going to kill (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) the president of the United States. (end statement)

[beachgothgay]

Happy Piccolo Day

[zennagreenwitch]

May we all pray for painless obliteration on this Piccolo Day

[pangur-and-grim]

I’m genuinely so boring to talk to. all my news is like “huuuuge amount of isopods on the apple slice today”

[pangur-and-grim]

huge day for me tbh

[pangur-and-grim]

WAIT! RUBBER DUCKY ON THE APPLE SLICE!!!!

this is a big deal for me, because I ordered a plastic carton of them a month ago when I had an active fever (and was making somewhat impaired decisions) and ever since then I’ve been agonizing, because I haven’t seen a single one. I assumed that I’d made a husbandry error and sentenced my very expensive crustaceans to death, but they LIVE! they are neighbours with the vulgares and the springtails and they are HAPPY!

[pangur-and-grim]

this was like seeing a wild tiger for me. even though I bought them and put them in there. still riding the high

[dragon-in-a-fez]

big fan of the four-year-old on this flight who yelled "THEY ARE BRINGING COMPLEMENTARY BEVERAGES" when the flight attendants came down with the drinks cart

[pageofmirth]

gonna start saying Bagayaya before bed

[pageofmirth]

[satan-offical]

I'm so mad I think I'm going to help increase the trout population

[oneheadtoanother]

[theterribletenno]

I'm not going to fuck my computer