Sade Olutola
Game of Thrones Daily
Peter Solarz
One Nice Bug Per Day
$LAYYYTER
@theartofmadeline
Stranger Things
h
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Origami Around
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
occasionally subtle
Kaledo Art
pixel skylines
tannertan36
ellievsbear
art blog(derogatory)
wallacepolsom
seen from United Kingdom
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@fourtccn
Hello everyone, I am Mike, Tanya’s husband. As some of you may kno… Michael Lemeshevskiy needs your support for Standing with Tanya During T
My aunt was taken by ICE and is being held hostage across the country in El Paso, Texas. Any donations for legal fees and for her return, or reblogs to share, would be a great help. Thank you
he smelled like apples. but I’m too evil and twisted to be around a man with a honeycrisp scent
u can not predict the shit that happens in the audio here. or maybe u can instinctively
also while we’re Troyposting my favorite part of Role Model is when Harris is blissfully singing along to All I Want For Christmas Is You and Troy is sitting in the passenger seat of his car like. I’m a beast. I’m unforgivable. I shouldn’t have even been born. And I wanna fuck this guy so bad.
This image is killing me
Men should wear MEN'S clothing; i.e., a tiny little leaf over their hog🍃
the last tumblr blog has died in captivity
one thing you need to know about 2014. is that what does the fox say was playing pretty much everywhere you went. and everybody was just relieved it wasn't blurred lines
I canot stress enough that those were the only 2 songs in 2014
hayden: what did he say to you
shane: "fuck off"
hayden: jesus what a dick
shane: [bristling] idk why you'd say that he's literally fine. you dont even know him actually so mind your business. he has a rich inner world
Put on your sash and top hat darling.... mommy needs you to preside over the city council meeting later
#mayorkink #mayorification
affirmations for people with multiple blogs:
☆ i am on the right blog
☆ i wont accidentally post on the wrong blog
☆ i can get my blogs right
☆ i have a normal amount of side blogs
☆ this isnt going on the wrong blog
Additional affirmations:
☆ No one ever saw me post a wrong post
☆ No one will immediately go to reblog that wrong post (if it were to even happen)
☆ I know what I am doing
☆ I know all the buttons I click
☆ I know which side blog I am currently on
what did dads even do before wd-40
helloooo nobody my name is Nobody and today i’m playing No Nights at Nothing’s
the past three weeks in a row, partner has gone to chipotle and been served by the same employee who, in bold defiance of the testimony of his own eyes and ears, ardently refuses to believe carnitas exist
partner: “Hi, could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and carnitas?”
employee (completely blank expression): “No.”
partner (autistic) (socialscript.exe encountered an unhandled exception) : “…Uh. Um. Sorry?”
employee: “We don’t have that.”
partner (wondering if perhaps he put too much of the authentic accent on the word and that’s what’s throwing the guy): “You don’t have…(pronouncing it whiter) carnitas?”
employee (face still unreadable): “No.”
partner (looking at the near-full hotel pan of perfectly normal carnitas in its usual place on the other side of the glass) (noticing this employee looks unfamiliar) (maybe he’s a new guy that just started five minutes ago with no training?) : “The…pork?” (pointing at it)
employee: “We don’t have pork.”
partner (beginning to wonder if he’s the one that’s losing it) (desperately looks to the menu on the wall behind the employee) (the menu lists carnitas as a protein option) (the word “carnitas” is not crossed out or taped over or otherwise adulterated) (carnitas have been on the standard menu since at least 2016) : “Okay. Um. Are you…sure?”
other employee working the toppings part of the line (familiar) (have seen her before) (she has cool earrings): *gives the new guy a strange look, nudges him aside, and scoops the carnitas onto partner’s bowl before continuing with the other toppings*
Repeat conversation again the next week. And the next. Same guy. If it’s a bit, no one is laughing, including the employee.
theories I’ve considered:
- the employee keeps very strictly kosher/halal/vegan and refuses to handle pork (understandable, I respect that, but if you’re gonna work at a place that serves pork I do kinda feel like when someone orders it you’ve just gotta tap in a coworker to do it for you)
- someone did something gross to the carnitas and the employee is trying to warn people not to order it (??? throw it out then? also, three weeks in a row???)
- the employee is a space alien who views humans as so similar to pigs that for us to eat them is tantamount to cannibalism
- the employee is the lead in a kdrama romance about a pampered, clueless chaebol heir who is sent by his father to work in the company’s restaurants for a year in order to prove he’s ready to take over as CEO. he’s dumb as rocks but they can’t fire him or even correct him that harshly due to the power gradient. partner is just a minor reoccurring character, and the interaction is kept the same from week to week to highlight the development of the relationship between the employee and his love interest with the cool earrings (even if the restaurant is literally a fully-branded Chipotle, that’s somehow still not enough product placement for me to believe this is a real kdrama)
After reviewing again with partner, evidently I forgot a detail that set this week’s carnitas denial dance apart from the others.
partner (well aware of what he’s getting into with this guy now): “Hi. Could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and pork?”
employee: “We don’t have pork.”
partner (demonstrating a level of patience only a public school teacher could have): *points at the pan of carnitas* “Could I please just have some of that?”
employee (after several slow, confused blinks): *points at the same pan* “That’s steak.”
partner (looking at the hotel pan they’re both pointing at) (it is filled with shredded meat of a pale beige color) (at the other end of the row of pans is another pan containing dark brown, lightly charred meat chopped into small pieces): “Okay.” *deciding he’s willing to play in this fantasy space if it gets the job done, he points at the first pan again* Then could I please have the steak?”
employee: *starts to reach for the pan at the other end containing the actual steak*
partner: "Oh—no, sorry, this one please?" *points at the first pan containing the carnitas*
employee: *blinks, then just walks away and starts helping the next customer in line, leaving partner's bowl unfinished*
other employee with cool earrings: *rolls her eyes at new employee, takes partner’s bowl, and fills it with carnitas herself*
new theories:
- the employee is a bridge troll who will only dole out his delectable carnitas to those who prove themselves worthy by correctly answering his riddles three
- the employee is stoned out of his mind at all times on a specific strain of weed that totally erases the concept of pork from his memory and awareness
My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “pork eraser” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯
Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.
5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw some steak in the hotel pan
My buddy Phillip pacing: Chipotle upper management is lying to us
