Compact Awesome

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That time we argued over what happens when you put a slow cooker in the freezer. Or whether fire is hot next to the sun. 

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Me: I was really worried because I think of Ryan Gosling as a total pretty boy.

NC: So he's a pretty good actor.

Me: I don't know. I mean, it wasn't a really difficult role. I just think he got it. I'm a fan now

Long pause:

Me: Don't get me wrong. I'm *never* going to watch the fucking notebook, I'm just saying I don't hate him anymore.

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Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in

American Beauty

[midori-kim]

“You met me at a very strange time in my life.”

[fourtenchick-blog]

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like [coughs] tears in rain. Time to die.

Rutger Hauer, Blade Runner monologue 

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Next Thursday... Next Year!

Andy and Zach drunk at the bar to Chris, a guy they just met.

Andy: It's so amazing. You have to come check it out. There's tons of people, and beer. It's amazing. Next Thursday! Be there!!

Me: Wait, *Next* Thursday??

Silence while they realize the season just ended

Andy: Ok, Not next Thursday, Next Year Dude!

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Nerd collective phones out debating the best way to get to lunch after we've already circled the block once.

Me: Really! We're still debating the best way to get to the triangle?

Nerd Collective 1: Definitely Lavaca

Me: This is why we never fucking go to the triangle!

Nerd Collective 2: Remember that time we never made it to lunch?

Me: I should have peed before we left

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The Art of Doing Nothing

Me: Yea, that's why I had to quit AMD. They were basically grooming people to be really good at doing nothing.

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Just reach down there and grab something good.

Scott, asking me to “beer him” from the stash below table. 

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Daydreams

In my head the conversations we have are brilliant. In real life the conversations are nonexistent. 

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Nerd collective 

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Conscious decisions

With my mom on speaker phone and husband in the room

Me: It doesn’t surprise me. Dad doesn’t tell me anything

Mom: Yeah, like not telling you he got married. 

Me: That’s not true mom. He did tell me. He was very up front that he made a conscious decision not to invite me. 

husband: Yup, that’s your dad. 

[fourtenchick-blog]

Do you ever worry about being liked?

Me: Hey, wish me luck on my presentation tomorrow.

Ken: Wait, you want me to wish you luck now on the presentation tomorrow? Or do you want me to wish you luck tomorrow?

Me: Whatever floats your fucking boat.

Ken: So, do you ever worry about being liked?

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The cost of prosperity

Walking down the street at 9:30pm in Chicago

“I feel terrible for you guys who have to constantly find things to worry about. I mean, I wake up knowing I need to worry about things like how I’m going to get health care”

“Wait, are you saying we’re the unlucky ones because we’re too privileged to know what we should be worrying about?

"Yeah, totally”

“Seriously though Andy, you need health insurance”

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#photosfromthebathroom

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Did you ever think of me… Will your regrets haunt you?