take a moment and find yourself

ellie | 19 | ♉/♊ cusp | infj | pagan | uk they or she pronouns please personal blog mainly for mental illness things this is where my thoughts go

[frailtie]

*accidentally messes up sending a message to a tumblr i’ve never spoken to before* 

*anxiety attack, shaking, icanfeelmyheartpunchingmyribs, can’t breathe, trying to prevent a full blown panic attack for like 20 mins* 

[frailtie]

hi again tumblr 

i’m back to complain about exams 

[frailtie]

i keep thinking i’m making decent progress on all my work 

then i remember i’ve got an entire research report to write that i haven’t even started 

and i have no idea what tests i even need to run on the results 

let alone how to interpret them

[frailtie]

i can’t wait to finish my uni assignments so i can do things i actually enjoy in life again

[shoutloaf]

if i didnt have depression no one could fucking stop me. i only have depression because otherwise im too powerful

[lorileadfoot-deactivated2020072]

god nerfed me 

[cwote]

[hassann]

Just because you took longer than others doesn’t mean you failed.

(via breatheafrica)

[robochai]

I thought that this might be helpful to talk about.

Keep reading

[missmonstermel]

Important- wish i had learned about this a long time ago.

[fleshrottingautomaton]

I will ALWAYS reblog stuff about gaslighting. I’ve been affected by it as others I know. And I don’t wish it on anyone.

[frailtie]

if i’ve unfollowed you recently, i’m really sorry!! i’m desperately trying to thin out the number of blogs i follow. 

i’ve been away from tumblr for a while as well, and if we used to be mutuals and i’ve accidentally unfollowed you, you should absolutely hit me up!! 

but yeah... i’m aiming to get the number of blogs i’m following down into the low hundreds evENTUALLY... i’ve just barelly managed to get it down below 3400 *sweats* 

[neo-somaliana]

[thefrizzkid-deactivated20220425]

Healing is not linear

[coffiend-jackalope]

The brain is an organ. Mental illnesses are illnesses of that organ. Brain scans show that there is a physical difference between a healthy brain and a sick brain. Telling someone “You’re not really sick. It’s all in your head.” is like telling someone with asthma “It’s not real, it’s all in your lungs.” The brain is an organ that can malfunction as much as any other organ.

[its-syrupp]

PLEASE READ THIS OVER AND OVER AND OVER

[frailtie]

side note!! - i updated my about page a lil bit for anyone interested 

[frailtie]

i’ve been doing a little better for a while! distractions are a wonderful thing, and so is eating properly, i think, hehe. i’m trying to do better without a need for constant distractions and covers to hide how i’m feeling. it’ll come with time, i s’pose! 

i’ve been put back under the care of my GP for my care now, which is pretty cool after four years under various psychs!! it feels pretty liberating, and it’s a lot more convenient now that i’m away at uni most of the time - it means i can actually book my appointments and reviews, instead of them being sent to me by the hospital, with no flexibility on time or date. 

it’s also reassuring, ‘cause in an emergency i can get an appointment back with my psych within a couple of days, and if it’s for something less urgent, i can still see him within a few weeks. so i have a good safety net! 

so yeah. things aren’t so bad right now ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪

[frailtie]

the deadline for my research report is tomorrow 

i’m just about halfway through 

why must i punish myself by leaving everything until the last minute 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[frailtie]

sorry i’ve suddenly started using this blog as a dump for feelings again, especially about - i still don’t know whether i can call it rape or not, which is stupid because i study this shit, i know the legal classifications (which are inherently problematic but that’s a post for another time) 

i just - this is the only place i have right now. i’m scared of talking to friends about it, because they don’t wanna hear it. why would they? no-one wants to hear about how someone sexually assaulted you. i have no-one at adult mental health services anymore. i’ve only heard people complain about the counselling services here at uni, and i’m scared if i go to them they’ll try to make me tell them who assaulted me since it’s someone who studies here. 

i just need someone to talk to. for now, talking to a blog kind of has to suffice. 

[spicy-vaginal-tacos]

daily fucking reminder that you are allowed to want attention and that does not make you a bad person.