The Siren's Call

Lee Jeongmin| Nineteen| Siren.| Half Bisexual Gay | Black Tent| House 236 following: freakjeongmin I think you'll find my song irresistible, try not to get too ensnared. Potentially NC-17 material, NSFW, I am not affiliated with Lee Jeongmin or Starship ent, not misrepresentation intended. This is just for roleplay purposes Icon - @hovvdareyou

[freak-jeongmin]

Whispering Willows| Jeongmin && Sungjong

[freakxsungjong-blog]

Sungjong rocked on his hands and nodded. he didn’t really pay attention to the rumors, so he didn’t really care. Sungjong looked at people through their personalities and Jeongmin contradicted the stereotypical siren so far, so Sungjong thought him pretty cool. As Jeongmin said that siren song wasn’t very helpful since it brought people together, Sungjong grinned. “But bringing people together is good, though? Isn’t it?” he asked, curious. He hadn’t heard any rumors regarding Jeongmin, so he wasn’t really all too sure on what the other boy meant. 

When Jeongmin said that his ability was ahard to live with and that his power wouldn’t exist without pain, because he was always destined to want what he couldn’t have, Sungjong thought about it. In a way, his ability was the same thing. “Interesting thought.. My ability has basically made me invisible even when I’m visible. Sometimes, life just passes you by and you wonder if you could grasp at that..” he muttered. He was lost in his thoughts but he shook his head a bit. 

[freak-jeongmin]

Jeongmin laughed a little. "It's hard to control how people react to my songs. It is unpredictable and then I don't know how to deal with it." He laughed awkwardly. It was possibly the most frustrating thing in the world. He had control of his power but not control of what his power did. He smiled at the boy but part of him was still jealous, he wanted to have a power that didn't cause problems, something he could never avoid doing. 

Jeongmin nodde. "I understand what you mean." Jeongmin nodded slowly. He didn't know what to say to it, he knew exactly what the other meant but he couldn't put anything into words. He didn't know what to sa about it. "I feel like no one notices me..." Jeongmin said quietly. "They only see my power." 

[kwangdiddle-blog]

[sweet-jeongmini]

[PIC] “My Avatar” Album [HMV Lawson Version] - Jeongmin

[freak-jeongmin]

TRACKER: 28/03/2014: JEONGMIN: 17:17GMT

to do: 

Sungjong (Whispering Wilows)

Luhan (Honesty is the best policy)

Kyuhyun (Whimsical Nature)

waiting on:

Jaejoong (Uncovered Mistakes)

Junsu (Breakdown)

[strangledwords]

[freak-jeongmin]

[freak-jeongmin]

Splashes| Jeongmin && Hakyeon

[freak-hakyeon-deactivated201403]

Why do you think that? The words scribbled across his notepad. He didn’t understand how love worked, he had never fallen in love with anyone -at least to his knowledge- because there was nobody for him to fall in love with. There was nobody who would ever near him so here he was, heart sealed as much as possible. You don’t need to sing, I’m sure there’s another method. Did he know any himself, no he didn’t. But he could be creative.

I’m good. Hakyeon scribbled onto his notepad; he couldn’t be anything else. He couldn’t ever be ‘bad’ because with the way he was, he was technically always bad. Feeble, sickly and pale looking even though he’s not actually that weak. The nightmares trapped in him always bearing him down and sometimes the people around him. He could always be better, but today was considered a good day for him. There hadn’t been any new sort of fear residing inside him, he had been relatively stable.

He looked over at Jeongmin, first hesitant to decide in case it would disrupt the other but when given permission he quickly nodded. I won’t go far, just dip my feet in. He assured the other, or at least he thought he was assuring the other as he slipped his shoes and socks off on the sand. Then hesitantly he walked across the sand before sticking his toes into the water.

It’s definitely cold but somehow he doesn’t mind it. Instead he sighs, a small smile on his face. Taking a bit more steps in until his feet was completely covered, he turned around and gave a small wave to show he was fine. A bit cold but not cold enough for him to want to shrink away.

[freak-jeongmin]

Jeongmin smiled a little. "They bat for the other side." Jeongmin shrugged. "And last time I checked I am still male." he shrugged a little, it didn't really bother him that he was crushing on someone unrequitedly, it sucked, but at the same time it was comfortable, he didn't have to worry about the attraction being false, because if there was any attraction it was his power. "If I sang they'd hate me." Jeongmin shifted a little but remained where he was. "and that would be worse, than watching them, never be able to love me."

Jeongmin nodded, he knew that Hakyeon struggled with his power, and by struggled he meant, while he himself thought his own power was bad, and it hurt him in ways he couldn't explain. Hakyeon suffered so much pain through his power. Jeongmin wondered how he coped but he never asked. "That's good." Jeongmin smiled a little at his friend.

When Hakyeon said he was going in, Jeongmin nodded. "Ok, don't go out too far, I can't come and play, I'll be jealous" he joked. Jokes masked fear, that was the way Jeongmin dealt with things that scared him. Water scared him. He was scared of what it would do to him, scared of how it would affect him. 

"Is the water ok?" Jeongmin asked inquisitively. He was rather interested in the water considering he was too scared to go near it.

[freak-jeongmin]

[freak-junsu]

Breakdown || Junsu & Jeongmin

[freak-junsu]

Junsu waited for Jeongmin’s reaction with bated breath, hoping that he would not be forced away. And yet if the other told him to go, he knew he would have to. One could not force company upon a person who did not want it. So when Jeongmin smiled and moved away from the water, Junsu gave back a small smile of his own and shook his head. “Yes, but I do not believe that you will start to sing right now because you do know of what your ability does. So I am still not scared.”

It did not surprise Junsu that Jeongmin was holding in secrets. Most of the members of the circus were running from something. Junsu had been there half of his life, yet his family had still been running when they had joined in France. He knew of the past that Fei was running from and Dara had explained her situation to him in full when she had come back. Jeongmin wasn’t alone, and yet Junsu had no way to tell him that.

“Maybe it doesn’t have to be fixed or changed, maybe you just need to learn to accept it,” Junsu suggested, his own fingers interlocking on his lap. His eyes searched Jeongmin’s face, looking for some sort of reaction, anything to give away that Junsu might be right. “Sometimes you need to tell someone to make whatever secret it is bearable. Getting things off your chest is proven to make one get rid of some of what is weighing down on them. Jeongmin. I am your healer and I am your ringmaster. If you think I don’t care about you, you are very wrong.”

Junsu looked to the side, out over the beautiful body of water that they were seated next to. “I will not push you to tell me, but you need to tell someone so that you can work at accepting whatever is bothering you,” His words were soft and kind, he didn’t want to scare the other away. All he had wanted to do was help and yet he knew he could not force Jeongmin into anything he did not wish to do. “I would like to be able to help you feel better, though..”

[freak-jeongmin]

Jeongmin shook his head. He then looked down a little. "Junsu, my secret, is one which a lot of people would laugh at." he bit his lip a little, "I meet people everyday who have a secret like mine, but it's not a secret. But I can't do it. I'm not like them." Jeongmin looked down, "When they told people I bet they got a hug, and supportive words." Jeongmin shifted a little he didn't know why he was starting to open up to the ringmaster. He really didn't know where to start. 

"Do you remember when I broke my nose?" Jeongmin swallowed a little, he was shaking a little, remembering what happened, he felt the fear and the pain re-surging through him as he went back to that incident. "Well, I didn't hit myself in the face with a microphone." Jeongmin looked down, "someone punched me, he punched me because of my secret, and the worst part was, I'd not told the person, they'd guessed or they'd sensed it about me." Jeongmin pulled the jacket he was wearing tighter around me. "The word he called me, I can never forget, and the way he looked at me was the same way my mother had looked at me." Jeongmin said softly. 

Jeongmin shifted his weight. As he took a deep breath, "I'm a siren in every sense." Jeongmin watched to see if Junsu gauged what he was saying. He didn't really want to have to say the word outloud but he knew that the fear of the word was greater than the fear of what he was. It was hard to admit what he was out loud. He'd never really said the word. The way he'd come out to his mother had meant he didn't have to say the word. He'd said the word to Xia, and then burst into tears, and he really didn't want to burst into tears on Junsu.

"I'm gay" Jeongmin whispered. He took a deep breath, looking away from Junsu as he felt himself tearing up. He didn't want to cry, he wanted to appear manly. He wanted to look like something that he wasn't. He wanted to be strong, he wanted to be better than he was. "My power works so much stronger on men, and it doesn't take a genius to work it out, so I know my secret is going to come out, but I can't bear to think about it. I can't lose another family because I am not attracted to women. I just can't. I can't." Jeongmin shook as he tried to keep his tears in. He didn't know how far he wanted to go. He didn't know if he should tell Junsu about what his parents did to him. 

[freak-jeongmin]

Honesty is the best Policy| Jeongmin && Luhan

Jeongmin sighed, he knew he was spending far too much time by the lake just outside of the campsite - he knew that he was well on his way to getting caught out. But the water called to him. It was clear, clear enough to see his own reflection, the water was pure and non-polluted. Jeongmin wondered what it would be like to sing here, how would his voice resonate over the clear, undisturbed water? He didn't really want to know the answer to that question in the end because he knew Luhan was on his way. They'd both sort of agreed to meet each other at the lake. 

Jeongmin was sure it was because it was his own safe place, he didn't know why but he felt like Luhan knew it and understood it. Like, he understood what the water meant to Jeongmin. Even though Jeongmin was never brave enough to dip as much as a toenail into the water, he couldn't swim. He'd screamed when he was a child and his parents had tried to teach him how to swim. He just never learnt. He was afraid, he was afraid of how strong the call of the water was. It echoed through him, and he knew that Sirens were a branch of mermaids. He knew that much but he didn't want to test how much of a mermaid he was. Especially not with Luhan being on the way. 

Jeongmin sat on the grass, playing with the strands that were between his fingers, picking at the grass a little bit. They had both sort of left their last meeting saying next time they had something to tell the other, which was why they had picked the lake for their meeting (although Jeongmin wondered if it was his choice and he'd influenced the other - but he tried to push that thought out of his head). It wasn't nice to think that he might have exercised influence over the other and he was sure he hadn't. Jeongmin took a lot of steps to avoid that ever occurring. Luhan was too important to try to influence. Jeongmin didn't want his power to have anything to do with anything. 

Jeongmin fixed his hair a little when the cool breeze messed it up, he wondered if he was early or if Luhan was late. He was probably early. He couldn't actually recall what time he'd left his tent to arrive at the location they had agreed on, all he knew what that Luhan would arrive shortly, so he needed to make sure he wasn't a complete mess. He knew that when he told the other man he wouldn't be faced with a struggle, but he knew he would have to explain. He knew that he'd probably tell Luhan everything. That was a scary prospect in itself. But he wasn't going to let the block for him be him, his family or his past. 

He was ready, he wanted to live normally, and this was his chance. It was his chance to be himself, even if it was just in front of one person. But that would be enough. To be Jeongmin, the Jeongmin who sang to his best friend, the Jeongmin who used to laugh at ducks, the Jeongmin who still got nightmares about his mother. The Jeongmin who wasn't always the bubbly outer shell. He felt like Luhan was a chance to be himself. 

Although, he was intrigued by what Luhan could possibly have to say about himself. Although he doubted it would change anything for him. Everything was surface to the depth that Jeongmin felt. It wasn't everyday he found someone he felt could know his whole story. It wasn't everyday Jeongmin found someone that made him think that he could be normal despite being a siren and it wasn't everyday he wanted to come out. 

He turned when he heard footsteps and stood up, he smiled a little at he was greeted by Luhan who was looking pretty warm. "Not swimming today?" Jeongmin laughed a little. 

[mimi-chan-love]

[freak-jeongmin]

Splashes| Jeongmin && Hakyeon

[freak-hakyeon-deactivated201403]

It’s around mid-afternoon and Hakyeon is under the assumption that most of the circus members are out of the circus grounds (at least if the silence is anything to go by) and so he spends his time actually sitting around. There’s not much for him to do, but the sensation of just being outside is enough for him after being trapped inside one room for most of his life. Just simply hearing birds or watching a squirrel dive through the trees was enough for Hakyeon to feel happy.

He was gazing up at the sky when he heard a familiar voice call out to him. Jeongmin. They were both alike and so Hakyeon found comfort in the other boy’s understanding of his situation. So when the boy asked if he wanted to go to to the lake he immediately stands up with a nod. He figured the other boy knew he as planning to come anyways as he shuffled after the other, making sure to keep a one meter distance.

Hakyeon remembered Jeongmin as being edgy about the water though, something that he should love but something that Hakyeon could only guess was also a sort of scary feeling. It was warm today though, warm enough for Hakyeon to wonder if he could dip his feet into the water without freezing himself off.

He made a small scuffling noise as he retrieved his notebook and quickly scribbled into it. Then from his distance he showed his words to the other boy. How are you doing?

[freak-jeongmin]

When they got there Jeongmin looked at Hakyeon shrugging a little. "I'm not great. You know I told you I like someone?" Jeongmin paused a little "Well that is never going to go anywhere. I s'pose I could sing to them..." Jeongmin shrugged, he wasn't out as such to Hakyeon. He'd conceeded Bi-sexual but he'd never actually said it out loud to most people. He was still half lying but this was as good as he could do until he became more comfortable in his own skin. 

They arrived by the lake side and Jeongmin smiled a little, he felt a bit tense but that was usual for the lake, he would calm in a second he turned to Hakyeon. "How are you?" he offered a slight smile, knowing his problems must seem so trivial to Hakyeon. So ephemeral, probably because Jeongmin never focused on how his power affected his life, he threw up guards so high. It wasn't safe for him to get too close, the closer he was to a person, the stronger  the effect could be. 

"Are you going to get in the water?" Jeongmin said, taking a seat on the grass, he wasn't getting in. He couldn't make himself go in, he was never going to be brave enough to do that. He didn't know how he could, or what would happen to him if he did, so he just left it. He smiled a little, carefully arranging himself so he looked and felt comfortable. "Don't worry about how I feel about the water stop you" he said before murmuring stupid power. 

[jheongmin]

Hyunseong and Jeongmin being dorks as always (￣ω￣) (x)

[freak-jeongmin]

잘못해요... (Mistake...)| Jeongmin & Sojung

[freak-sojung-deactivated2014031]

While her first day in the new housing arrangements didn’t go off too smoothly, Sojung found that the other roommate was a lot better than the other. She knew he was a siren, how she wasn’t so sure, but she knew. It happened a little by accident when she heard him sing. As she watched the audience, she started thinking. Perhaps a little too much. 

It wasn’t long before she figured out that he was a siren. Even before she was arranged in the same tent as him. Jeongmin seemed weary of her from the start and especially after she found out about his powers. While she wasn’t offended, now that they were living together, she wanted at least one person she can room with comfortably. Her thoughts lingered even though she washed the soap out of her hair as fast as she could before hopping out of the freezing shower. 

After she dried off, she changed quickly and tied up her hair in a lazy bun. Walking back to her tent was a slow ordeal, Sojung didn’t particularly want to meet with the sassy one who wants to use her as a doll. She felt better when she lifted and found just Jeongmin reading a book. The silence wasn’t the best alternative, but it was more enjoyable she supposed.

"Okay, Jeongmin;" She sighed, sitting cross-legged on her cot facing him, "Even with your cold shoulder thing you got going for me, you’re better than the other guy. Truce?" There had to be a reason he was so uncomfortable looking around her, but she didn’t press the issue. If he wasn’t going to ask- or speak- she wasn’t either. Who was she to judge? Another thing she found what that his songs worked better on the guys rather than the girls. A theory she had developed after really watching the audience; was that sirens were usually female, luring sailors to their doom and his powers had the same exact effect, despite the fact that he himself was male. 

[freak-jeongmin]

Jeongmin knew Sojung was coming towards him, but he didn't really say anything, he just continued to look his song book. He knew that if he turned he really would have to talk to her. He looked at her when he spoke, moving a little in his cot but not saying anything, he closed the book and put it down. He was going to make an effort. She'd noticed he was ignoring her and he knew what it was like to be shunned. 

"I'm sorry" he said quietly. "I didn't mean to, if I made you uncomfortable." Jeongmin said quietly, but he couldn't exactly follow it with sorry I couldn't let you in because your power is so close to mine you might be impervious and therefore have a clear head and be more able to work out that my power works stronger on me and then you'd know my secret. Jeongmin bit his lip. "I had an incident with someone in the circus a while ago and since then I've been wary, it was nothing personal."

Except he was lying, but then the more his brain processed the more stupid this all was, the more he pushed her away the more likely she was to out him should she ever work it out. "If you want we can try..." he said quietly, not sure of what she thought about him, but right now, he knew she found him the lesser of two evils so he knew she'd want to try. He needed more female friends anyway. 

"My power makes it difficult for me sometimes." Jeongmin conceded a little although now expanding on that, as if that explanation would cover what he had done. Or really why he had been the way he was. He wondered if he could trust her, maybe they should stick together as they probably were genetically very close. 

[freak-jeongmin]

Keeping The Mask| Jeongmin && Hyuk

[freak-sanghyuk-deactivated20140]

Rolling around on his cot- that was too short for him- Hyuk was sulking after accidentally stepping on a prickly plant that gave him small scratches on his hand and wrist. He was on a “morning” jog around the perimeter of the cirque. Being still was something he never wanted to do after being locked up inside a house for so long.

As he stared up at the top of the tent, he wondered what his friends were doing. He suddenly remembered a new friend, Jeongmin who was very nice to him and someone he could talk to often.

Sanghyuk hopped out and started roaming the grounds when his nose twitched. The distinctive smell of pasta. Mmmmh; my favorite. His tail was already out and wagging. The smell lead his nose to the source. When he got close enough, he saw that Jeongmin was there eating… sort of. For someone who was holding a bowl of food, he sure wasn’t eating a lot of it. Frowning at the waste, he rushed over silently and covered Jeongmin’s eyes. Before the other spoke, Sanghyuk already had a mouthful of the pasta.

"Mmhm… sho?" He spoke, trying to swallow before speaking again but failed. The evidence was now gone so Hyuk straightened up and sat across from the other with a lopsided smile. "Where’s that girl with the pretty hair I see you with a lot? Why are you eating alone, hyung?" While technically they weren’t that far apart in age, he wanted to use the title since he never had before. There was no changing his mind; he was going to call him hyung even if he said no… Well maybe if he really didn’t like it, but he hasn’t gotten mad yet so hyung he shall be.

[freak-jeongmin]

Jeongmin rolled his eyes under Hyuk's hands as he could hear the younger boy was eating. "Like my pasta?" he teased a little, knowing that Hyuk and food went together. Jeongmin smiled at the boy who was sat across from him, he laughed a little. "Xia? do you like her?" he teased again, although he wouldn't deny that Xia was beautiful, he didn't really see her as being Hyuk's type - not that he really knew Hyuk's type. All he knew was that Hyuk liked girls. 

Jeongmin smiled a little and shrugged. "I'm not really hungry, I just come here to think sometimes." he knew that sounded weird, but it was that or the lake and having recently been caught by the ringmaster of the circus he didn't fancy being caught again. "Plus if eat alone no one steals my food" Jeongmin laughed, he didn't mean it as he obviously wasn't going to eat the food that was in front of him. Jeongmin smiled a little, he liked it when Hyuk called him Hyung. It was nice to finally be a hyung to someone. He wondered if it was the same feeling his brother had when he'd called him hyung. 

"Wanna finish my pasta off?" Jeongmin held out his pasta, he wasn't going to eat it so he might as well give it to someone that would. 

[freak-jeongmin]

Phoenix| Self

It was a new start, that was what Jeongmin told himself as he looked out at the circus camp, far less tents were standing and he knew that he could have left with the others, but where would he go? this was as close to family as he got, as probably would ever get. He still wanted to settle down but of course his power would always get in the way. He walked through the now somewhat diminished camp site, wondering what was in store for the circus.

He knew he wasn't a main attraction - he didn't know who most of the people came for. But he was sure that money wasn't going to be a problem for the circus because he couldn't go back to his biological family. He just couldn't face that prospect. Which was partially why he'd stayed. He didn't want  to think about going back and he didn't want to risk something which could result in that. 

Jeongmin was here to stay, here for the long haul. He was never going to leave as long as he could. He didn't want to go home and he was afraid of everything and this was only the place he felt remotely safe. He was sorry that he wasn't honest. 

Maybe this new start, would mean new and different things for Jeongmin

[freak-jeongmin]

Safe Place| Xia && Jeongmin

[freak-xia-deactivated20140311]

"Of course. They won’t even be able to touch a finger to your hair." Xia was not opposed to the idea of defending her best friend with force if needed. While she might not do the work, her knives were all she needed. "I won’t let it go bad." She replied defiantly.

"You’d be surprised, I am still part girl. We’re known for that kind of thing." She brushed it off as lightly as she could as she gave him the thumbs up. "Just us, don’t worry." As much of a sociable person he was, Xia could sense that he wasn’t really in the mood to see too many people around. Especially after what had happened. "We can eat until we feel sick and nobody will know." She grinned as she ventured into the kitchen to raid for food. Not that she wanted to necessarily push aside what had happened a little earlier, there would be a time for it later. 

"There’s heart attack in a bag, or in some cans. Take your pick." Xia slid back into view, holding up various packaged foods. "I’m sure if we drink enough mediocre beer it won’t matter too much." When it was just the two of them was when she was most outgoing, she wasn’t sure what it was. The fact that there weren’t others around probably helped a lot too.

[freak-jeongmin]

"I love you" Jeongmin said quietly, he trusted her and she was his safest place. He knew that when she said she'd protect him, she wouldn't let him  get hurt in any way. He knew that she would look after him and that he would never get hurt again. He was glad she had decided not to hurt the person who had broke his nose though. He knew that if that happened he would have had to have come out. He wasn't quite ready. He didn't think he'd ever be ready. He was happy just hiding. Well that was a lie, he wasn't happy. He would never be happy while he was hiding, but he couldn't let himself come out. He hated the idea of that. 

Jeongmin smiled, he didn't want to see anyone, he was feeling weak and vulnerable. He'd never let down his defenses that much before, he needed some time to feel stronger. He needed some time. He didn't even know why he was feeling so weak. Jeongmin laughed a little as Xia darted in through the food. "Sounds like a plan" he laughed a little, putting back on the Jeongmin mask.

"That one" Jeongmin said grabbing on and laughing. "Beer?" he smirked, "it's been so long since I've drunk." he knew that his feels were so broadly shown to her, that he couldn't even hide behind the mask. He knew that he shouldn't hide in front of her. He knew he was safe.