So, many aroace people will agree that one of the most terrifying things is the concept of your friends finding a so and being pushed to the sidelines. Never again being someone's first choice.
Your still friends. Just now they have a new priority. They want to talk to each other, they are showering their so in affection(not always pda, just in general).
I have come to the realization that it is happening. My friends are all getting with people. And because of covid whenever we're at school it's only a few of us.
I came in bright eyed, assuming it would be something like how it usually is. But no.
One of my best friends(who I also have a squish on) had her bf move to our school, and they're affectionate(talking to each other constantly, always close, always touching in some form) and I'm not super close with the others that come to school on the same day as me. Even if they did, my other best friend also got an so, and the rest I'm not incredibly close to/am not capable of making myself affectionate with them.
I also feel bad because it's not fair to them that I'm jealous or feeling left out, they deserve to be in love and close with their partners. But I got so used to having people I could be loud with and affectionate with and open with. Before a few years ago all of my friendships were just me acting like I was like them in order to not be left alone, they were all surface level and I never even really hugged any of them.
I got used to hanging off of and hugging and laughing and chatting with my current group of friends. I would always have my arm around one of their shoulders. I absolutely loved that. I am not an affectionate person, there are only a handful of people I can hug and just be close to and they are all within my group. They also now have their partners glued to their side and I can't even be near them without feeling imposing. I've tried to be close to and ramble about random topics with my friend but she was busy and I feel bad that I feel left out because they deserve to be happy. But god, I feel so fucking lonely again.
This year has been hell. And now I can't make myself do my schoolwork and I feel like shit because I can't do my schoolwork. And I'm always so fucking tired all the fucking time. And I just can't handle this, it is another blow that I can't handle. It's another thing on top of all the other things.
My academic achievements are one of the only source of pride I have and I can't make myself do them and I don't even have a reason, I have enough time, there's nothing stopping me, and yet no matter how hard I try I simply cannot make myself do anything.
My friends are one of the only things keeping me going and I'm losing that to. I'm just so lonely and stressed and exhausted all the time and I don't know what to do about it.
I love my friends more than life itself but they're drifting and I don't know how to deal with it. They're irreplaceable, but I feel like I'm dispensable.
Loveless aro culture is sometimes "love isn't what makes you human" and sometimes "love is what makes you human, but personally i've evolved beyond humans"
i just. i wanna know about c!punz man. what are his goals? what are his morals? what led him to this stage where he voluntarily helps dream? what is dream paying him, if he even is? does he have leverage over punz of some kind, something important enough that he would help dream or is it just bloodlust and friendship? cc!punz please im in pieces
I notice an increasing resurgence of art/fic that primarily depict c!Punz as some kind, soft-hearted guy who takes care of his friends. That, I'm sorry to inform you all, is a cc!Punz trait. His fictional counterpart is extremely different.
c!Punz has remained very much the same over the years: he keeps to himself and retaliates when someone else gets involved. He works for pay, regardless of who the money is from. He has interactions outside of these, yes, but overall he is the perfect image of restrained violence. Even Technoblade himself is wary of Punz's fighting abilities, but Punz isn't an aggressive character. He's said it himself, time after time.
"I'm a mercenary, I do what the money tells me to do."
"The money's money, at the end of the day."
Just because he doesn't kill of his own volition doesn't mean he's a good person. A perfect example of this is Sapnap. Punz and c!Sapnap, both in and out of canon, are stated to be like brothers. They went through the Pet Wars together, the Battle of the Lake, the Manburg Civil War, and Doomsday. They have argued and stood beside one another on many an occasion. They share a secret base together with all of their pets. Punz would betray him in a heartbeat, and has.
All it took was Techno offering Punz some money at the battle of the Lake, and he abandoned his friends in an instant. Sapnap had to make a higher counteroffer to get Punz to log back in. When El Rapids went to war with Eret, Punz was right there on the other side fighting against the nation he helped create. At the jailbreak, Sapnap and Punz both agreed they were the only ones capable of fighting Dream. They both split up to track him down.
And Punz went straight to Dream to gear him up. Why? Because of the money, because of the plan. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about Sapnap, because he does in his own way. Punz is simply always willing to turn on a friend if there’s money involved.
His personal wants or cares always rank below the pay, because the money is the greatest desire he has.
Hannah said it best. “Don’t mess with Punz and don’t give him any of your money, even if he asks. Dont ever give him any money, because he will try to take all of it.”
That’s another aspect to his character. Everyone knows what he is: someone who just doesn’t care. Attachments are the most powerful thing on the server, and Punz isn’t attached to anything except the gold he can earn. It’s with resignation, not triumph that he says it: “Nothing that you can take from me would matter.”
He even flatout tells Sapnap that the reason they get along so well is because Sapnap has that same strain of violence and callousness to him. “Your heartlessness is just nice to be around sometimes. There’s too many nice people out here.”
Punz is not kind. He may be gentle sometimes, he may be helpful sometimes. But he is a mercenary and the best thing he will do for anyone is kill for them as long as the money keeps coming. People don’t like him, they fear him. He was on the Kill On Sight list, he went against the entire Butcher Army, he’s just dangerous and that’s what he’s always been. “The deciding coin in every war,” Sam called him.
Punz isn’t some softhearted caretaker, nor is he some gentle defender. He always thinks of himself first, unless there’s cash involved. That’s part of what makes him so interesting: he could care but he doesn’t. And even in the cases where he admits to having some affection for someone, he’s never hesitated in betraying them. “I officially work for Tommy right now,” he told the Eggpire but that promise of wealth wasn’t enough to keep him from joining them and hunting down his own employer.
TL;DR: Punz is a fighter who serves money above everything else, not a friendly older brother figure.
So C!Dream knows the revive book doesn't work on pets. I know this is unlikely, but this has fueled my hc that he tried to revive Spirit the Horse, his parrot, maybe he got desperate in prison and tried to even revive Hope the cat.
i genuinely wouldn’t be surprised if he did try: you’re telling me this stupidly-attached man who has a revive book and two dead pets didn’t nigh-immediately try to revive them?? knowing him, he probably passed it off as an experiment to c!punz, like
c!dream: OBVIOUSLY i don’t care about the horse. or the parrot. obviously. i know they’re my pets and i made graves for them and still miss them so much that it makes me sad sometimes but i don’t care about them. honestly. it’s just experimentation. i just need to experiment whether or not it can bring pets back. YES i could use a random pet but i’m not— whatever, it doesn’t even matter, shut up, i’m trying to revive them, if it doesn’t work it doesn’t even matter, i don’t care, i don—
Minecraft headcanon worldbuilding: world types and respawn mechanics
You guys seemed to really like my post about players' subspecies, and thank you so much ! I'm really glad people find this interesting, and so I have a lot more to add to my lore, more things to talk about and develop over time.
So here's the next chapter;
Like last time, all of this is only my personal interpretation of what I see in different Mcyt series, or how the game feels to me when I'm playing it. I'm using all this world building to help with illustration or for background in my fanfic [Dreamers and the Dead].
Switch: the act of travelling to another world. Players can either do it on purpose, be forced by a mechanic, or do so with external help.
Knowledge: what a player knows about the universe code. Raw code lines are hard to find, and players usually gain their knowledge thanks to other more experienced players sharing it. Having more Knowledge allows players to use some mechanics, like switching at will, using the admin rights, looking for hidden player data or even the modification of worlds.
World generation
The universe is vast, and for any living being, its form is inconceivable. But one thing is sure to be known, the universe is made of an infinite amount of small, physical and concrete parts, linked to each other and at the same time, out of reach from one another.
These parts are called worlds, and are all unique. Even though they are meant to be the same, not every world is equal. Over time and by travelling from a world to another, players were able to observe different types.
Common world:
A vast majority of the time, the world will be exactly as it should, allowing life of players and mobs to flourish.
It is in these world that we can study the different types of player societies the best;
City world;
They are massive worlds, housing an enormous population of players. Most players are either born in one or have lived in one at some point of their life.
The management of such worlds, a monstrous task, is only possible with a community of admins, sharing their knowledge. Often, admins of other smaller worlds were formed thanks to the ruling council of a city world.
Example: any public server, Hypixel and such being the biggest in existence. Even small public server are still consider city worlds
Survival Memory Pact;
Even if their population is significantly smaller, this is the most common type of society construct.
Survival Memory Pact, or shortened as SMP, are small and tight groups of players, a family or (more or less) close friends.
They are either formed spontaneously (when players fall in the same random world) or with serious planning beforehand (players wanting to leave their city world for example)
Depending on how they formed, they may or may not have an admin, competent enough or not.
Some SMPs settle in place definitely once they find a good world. Some others prefer to be more nomadic, changing world every decade for example.
Example: any Hermitcraft season, Empires, every private servers between friends, etc
Lone players and Runners:
There also exist a lot of players who leave by themselves, lone inhabitants of an entire world or living far away from cities and SMP groups.
However, the most notable type of lone players are the Runners. They are nomadic players who constantly change world, mastering the techniques of forced switching. Their goal is to hunt for more Knowledge by themselves. While admins on city worlds transfer their knowledge to newer admins over time, Runners prefer to get it by themselves, and the only way to obtain new lines of raw Code is to kill the dragon of one world, and break her egg.
Now that we learn about some social structures, let's head to the other types of generated worlds. While most worlds are correctly generated, some happen to be different from normality, whether by being made on a different structure or being glitchy.
Hardcore world;
Contrary to belief, hardcore doesn't depend on the players, but on the world itself. A player won't permanently die if they black out in an hardcore world.
The worlds are supposed to help the players regenerate if they fall in their protective black out ("in game death", supposed to protect the player from a lethal hit). However, hardcore worlds, instead of helping, will just force the player to leave. They are in fact weaker worlds, not able to handle regeneration.
Some adventurous players, once experimented enough, like to find these weaker worlds on purpose, just for the thrill of it.
It is still possible to switch out of these worlds, as the rest of its mechanics are perfectly normal.
Example: Philza's worlds, 100h smp
Decayed worlds;
They are theorised to be the outer edge of the universe, and will often bear signs of a past community of players who might have lived there long before.
If they at first appeared normal, apart from the ruins (things that can be found even in common worlds, it isn't that rare to fall in a random world years after an SMP left it), they are in fact the glitchiest type of world, sometimes too old to correctly function.
Known features are, for example, lack of one or both sub dimensions (nether and/or end), missing bits and pieces of mechanics or unstable land and erratic weather. The most notable ones however, are the destructive regeneration, and the impossibility to switch out of there without external contact. This undoubtedly traps players who don't possess enough Knowledge to escape, possibly doomed because of the glitchy regeneration, which could kill them way faster than any mass respawn.
A player falling in one of these worlds is either because of bad luck, or as repercussions to forced switching to an extent.
Example: Dream SMP, Third/Last life (artificially decayed)
Collapsing worlds;
This is the rarest type, known to some players only as urban legends in city worlds and amongst occasional smps.
If at first they also appear to be normal, they are in fact subject to an inevitable doom, a major catastrophic event that no line of universe Code can stop; it's the death of a part of the universe itself.
Some players that know about these events fear it might not be a type of world by itself, but the fate of any given world. Records of these dooms were only because the worlds where it happened were unlucky to die way earlier.||
Switching out of a world like this is still possible, but hard to achieve. Once they know doomsday is coming, players must find a way to leave, or they might risk immediate death or permanent heavy damage to their code.
Exemple: Hermitcraft Season 8
Black out and regeneration
I mentioned "in game deaths" and regeneration a few times, a key element unique to players, which grants them a conditional immortality. But this feature actually greatly depends on the world in which a black out happened.
A player can only take so much regenerations, and perma death exists everywhere in the universe, there is no such place as "having unlimited life". But the natural amount of black out and regeneration a player can endure is so grand it is hard to comprehend for us humans. It is way too hard to keep track of life esperency amongst the whole player kind, but the default esperency is expected to be about a couple milenas with normal regenerations. If a player succeeds in never enduring any black out, they might as well be technically immortal.
This amount of regeneration a player can endure is what makes the Life bar, a hidden data unique to each player, which can only be seen if the players know how to look for it. Unlike the Heart bar (the amount of damage a player can take before blacking out), the Life bar never regenerates and can only go down. It also keeps its states no matter the world the player is in.
This means if a player endured a couple regenerations in a decayed world, they are left with a Life bar lower than other player "their age".
To try to sum up in an easy way, the Life bar is somewhat like a counting down clock. It ticks down only when the player experiences "in game death". In a decayed world, these back out do way more damage to the bar than normally.
Players avoid black out as much as they can, even if they have an enormous amount possible on normal worlds; it's not a pleasing process and coming back takes times. When a group is settling in a new world, players can often be stressed about being the first one to black out there, not knowing if the regeneration will be harmful or not, when they don't have the right knowledge to check it without experiencing a Black out.
I won't explain the concept of perma Death right away, as I will present it in a later post with Life etc. But I can say that, while in the process of regeneration, players can actually be considered dead. Their souls and essences go to the same place as permanently dead players, only temporarily: Dead Worlds. Except nobody really knows it haha
I think that's basically all I have for worlds and regeneration ! Thank you a lot if you read everything <3 Please do not hesitate to ask anything if you want to know more, I may have not explain in the best way possible ^^''
electrons be like “i am going to disobey all laws of probability and classical mechanics, unless you attempt to perceive me in which case i will behave exactly in the ways you just disproved”
one thing that breaks my heart about dsmp!phil is that he most likely thinks that dsmp!wilbur is just an angsty teen. examples of this are him telling wilbur to "go play with ranboo", talking about how he was "destructive" in childhood too, and him treating L'manburg as Wilbur's little building out of legos.
since he's centuries old, a 18 y/o and a 30 y/o are similar ages to him and thus he doesn't see the deeper mental issues his son has and bunches them up to growing pains.
This post is how I even learned that any major social media site blocks the word “kill” which is the nuttiest dumbest thing I’ve ever heard about a social media site
like what reason is there for making fun of ppl for liking lemon demon or nirvana. what's the point in laughing at ppl for liking furbies and putting "core" after things and liking hlvrai. what do u get out of it. you cant be saying "end cringe culture" and shit and then make fun of people for liking things.
Romance isn’t important to your worth as a human being, but neither are other kinds of love. Not having friends doesn’t make you a freak or someone that needs to be fixed. Having a bad/nonexistent connection with your family doesn’t either. Alterous love isn’t a requirement. Pets aren’t necessary. If you don’t experience certain types of love or even any at all, that’s cool. What matters is that you’re happy, and if you prefer to be alone or unconventional in your relationships, that should be respected.
what does an aroace future look like? i literally don’t know. none of us know.
the further i venture into adulthood, the more i realize just how much being aro(ace) sets me apart from my peers. i have friends who are married now. everyone else i know intends to get married except like one of my arospec friends. i have friends who are in long-term relationships who are buying things together, making financial investments into their future together. my single friends speak wistfully about the future they know they will have with their future partner.
me? i look into the future and see a huge question mark.
i’m grey/aroflux and ace. if i were to end up in an traditional long-term romantic relationship, how would that look for me? my romance favourability/repulsion fluctuates immensely alongside the flux of my orientation, so i can’t picture any romantic relationship i’m in being stable for more than a few months. maybe a qpr? maybe, but i can’t picture myself wanting to be tied to and dependent on a singular person anyway; idk if that’s cuz of aromanticism or mental illness or neurodivergence or what. a queerplatonic polycule? that seems unrealistic to even think about, since so few people want qprs and so few people are polyamorous.
or i could be single for life. it sounds deceptively simple, but what would that look like realistically? how would i get the support i need when all my friends are busy building their lives with their families (with or without children)? how would i avoid always feeling like a third wheel? what would i be building, if not a family of my own? how would i navigate an adult world that caters to married family units? i’m 22 and i don’t even have a ballpark idea of what i want to do with my life work-wise, so the idea of like, putting [the energy that would have gone into building a family] into my work seems doubtful. i think, personally, if i was single for life i would struggle hard.
i can’t picture what a happy aroace future looks like for me. that doesn’t mean i won’t have one - i fully intend to be happy and i do think it’s possible. i just don’t know how. and not being able to picture a future for yourself… if you know the feeling, you know how terrifying, empty, and hopeless it can be.
there’s no model for us aros. no destination. no roadmap. we don’t know where we’re going and we don’t know how to get there. it’s scary.
I’ve decided my new life goal is to live in a queer tiny house commune. Just a bunch of queers with our own little tiny houses living in intentional community together. Probably on the outskirts of a city. We can share cars cuz I’m sure as shit not gonna buy one. Maybe we can have a small vegetable farm or bee farm. I will also have a cat.
I’m literally dead serious, if anyone knows how to go about living in a tiny house or in a non-religious-affiliated commune, pass me the deets.
my meow meow is in prison.. @free-bird-cannot-be-held - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
