Selfies Smut And Total Crap

My name is Brandon and I am a barista at Starbucks.

[frenchfrybowties]

They Orville on my redenbacher till I pop

[frenchfrybowties]

My mental health is deteriorating and I’m self aware but not self sufficient

[sadmemegf]

hey guys i really didn’t want to have to make this but my cat got into some lilies and i had to take her to an emergency vet last night which ended up being €170, and they told me to bring her a regular vet this morning. i just brought her and the treatment plan is going to cost €450 which brings the total to €620 ):

i actually had to get someone else to lend me the money for the treatment last night and because the regular vet needed a deposit of €150 but i’ll have to pay them back and the rest of the vets fee too. i know everyone is struggling rn and i really don’t want to put anyone out or make them feel bad if they can’t help me with money but if you can’t donate please rb.

i have the previous bill of the €170 and the receipt for the €150 deposit if people wanted to see, i don’t have to pay the rest until thursday. peaches has been my best friend throughout the lockdown and idk what id do without her. anything would help rn ))): it would mean a lot if my mutuals could rb this too but there’s no pressure <3

p*ypal

[benadryldad-deactivated20170904]

Being ugly is poppin cause ya phone doesn’t blow up all the time and ya battery lasts long.

[catchymemes]

Life of Crocodile

via https://imgur.com/gallery/mG5O6pR

[gorgonology]

“In my personal experience, women raise their voices because they feel like they aren’t being listened to. Men raise their voices because they feel like they aren’t being obeyed”

I want this tattooed on my face

[thememacat]

Hitting that reblog button hard and fast

[yeezy-nation]

[beatonna]

We are touring King Baby in some schools and I love the kids

[sonypraystation]

all those memes about how old ppl are bad with technology are gonna haunt us when we cant figure out how to get the apple iBrain 7 to stop autoplaying embarassing memories

[sonypraystation]

[cupcakelogic]

[learapproves]

I’m losing my shit over out of context vintage comic panels, like

[noahslark]

(by Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal)

[queenhaggard]

well fuck

[shakespork]

wait so it the ending sweet or ominous bc i cant tell

[lady-akira]

[yallstillhere]

Come get this dick-fil-a

[yallstillhere]

I’m tired of y'all reblogging this every Sunday

[yallstillhere]

One of you shit heads are saving this post and waiting until Sunday to reblog it

I will fucking find you

[kingofthehilltoday]

Is there anyone who says stuff like “Nancy did nothing wrong?” Cause if so meet me behind your nearest propane dealership to throw down, I got two fists here for you bruh

[peridoll]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Steven Universe (Cartoon) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe) Characters: Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe), Peridot (Steven Universe) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - College/University Series: Part 5 of Lapidot AU Week Summary:

Lapidot Week Prompt 5; College AU. “Don’t panic, but I think we might have accidentally gotten married last night.”

( @lapidot-week )

FIC ALSO UNDER THE CUT:

Peridot groaned, rolling onto her back and hiding her face with her single pillow. She had passed out on the floor, face down, beside Amethyst, who’s snores usually kept her awake even from down the hallway. But last night, they were all too partied out to care, and had all picked a part of the apartment dorm living room to fall asleep. Garnet called dibs on the recliner, Jasper had taken the couch with her feet up on the coffee table, Pearl’s head resting on her lap and Lapis on her shoulder. Peridot pawed around for her glasses, popping them onto her face once she found them a couple feet away on the floor. Luckily, nobody had stepped on them. Like a cat, she sat up on her knees and stretched her arms, giving her neck a good crack, before stumbling to her feet.

Keep reading

[lipsynchingintherain]

[pournstar-deactivated20140819]

#about me

[andyrockcandy-deactivated202205]

This remains one of the greatest moments in television history.