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todays bird
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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noise dept.
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$LAYYYTER
Claire Keane
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@fresh-figs-fan
Boney McClyde does the last of the autumn chores, even though he'd rather rest
My husband just showed me the picture one of our 12yos took of it and I feel like I shouldn't have wasted my time
This genuinely looks like a GooseBumps cover
Night of the Skeleton Lawnmower
you enter the public restroom. I'm standing by the front sink with my hands folded in front of me and a pile of unconscious (?) guys at my feet. a flushing sound, a stall door opens and a new guy emerges, passing all five pristine ceramic washbowls with their fully loaded soap dispensers on his way to the exit, but just before he reaches the door I grab him by the nape and slam his head into the sink. he joins the comatose Pisshands Platoon on the floor. I return to my position and my eyes meet yours. you must conduct yourself cautiously here.
I hate when a tiny stupid thing pushes you over the edge and makes you freak the fuck out because it makes you look like a completely irrational tar pit of a human being. Like no I promise this is warranted just maybe not about that specifically I swear I'm well adjusted. Come closer stick your fingers in my cage
My child will not be allowed to use chat gpt. He will be smarter and stronger than the other children and he will kill them easily.
Seasonal affective disorder havers how are we all coping
[ID: Two versions of the cat screaming at food bowl meme. The first has a clock showing 4pm and is captioned "WHY IS IT NIGHTTIME". The second has a November calendar and is captioned "WHY IS IT TEMPERATURES".]
I love how perfectly like clockwork this returns every November. Good morning northern hemisphere take your vitamin D
Yesterday my little brother told me something very sweet and touching, that when he was a kid and had nightmares about monsters chasing him or whatever he would be able to end the nightmare by finding me in the dream and I would protect him by fighting off the zombies, or carrying him away. This is adorable, and makes me feel like the greatest older sibling in the world, but the hilarious thing is that when I was a kid I had nightmares of needing to save him from zombies and such. so many dreams where he was in trouble and I needed to save him. Like my nightmares began where his ended. Low key I think he mastered the ability to psychically transfer his nightmare to me as a child and I'm kind of annoyed with him.
I have never wanted an imaginary thing more than this.
Not socialist in a “I won’t have to work” type of way but socialist in a “I’ll still be working but I won’t be worried I won’t make the rent” type of way. In a “billions won’t be hoarded by one person” type of way. In a “janitors, fast-food workers, child care workers, preschool teachers, hotel clerks, personal care and home health aides, and grocery store cashiers, will live comfortably” type of way. In a “the sick and elderly will be cared for” type of way. In a “no child should work” type of way.
In the "my illness won't condemn me to an early, ignominious death" kind of way.
in a "everyone who wants to have children will be able to afford that" type of way
literally fuck companies that don't want their employees to act "unprofessional" in front of customers. I'm at a five guys rn and the employees here are joking around calling orders back and forth to each other and saying things in weird voices and laughing with each other while they work. Someone just came in for their shift while I was waiting for my food and was greeted by the whole kitchen with a secret handshake lookin thing. It was so silly and cute I love seeing ppl have fun at work and I know my food's gonna be bomb bc the ppl there are having fun with each other. Let employees be people and friends and have fun what is the issue!!!!
Hate to be the guy who takes this post very seriously but the reason bosses don’t like this and don’t encourage it is because what follows is talking about wages and treatment at work and then unionizing lol
a company's worst nightmare is when you are friends with your coworkers
doodling a bunny vs doodling a hare
a few more quick doodles, for fun
mythical duo edition - jackalope and wolpertinger
Woolly the lamb
My wooly the lamb I’ve had and slept with every night since I was a baby
you can literally say anything to men, it doesn’t matter
jokes aside i think it’s amazing and heartwarming to see like 4chan incel bros perform the miracle of crawling out of that hole and becoming real human beings and chronicling their journey to realizing that they can be well adjusted happy normal dudes
Where’s the post about the guy who turned his life around bc of his shrimp? Bc that’s very relevant here
This guy. This makes me so happy
