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@freshsprout
i'm starting to feel like... i'm finally a better person than I used to be.
low activity, independent, crossover/AU & oc-friendly rp blog for collei from genshin impact. semi-selective. mutuals only. no nsfw. mun is 21+ years old and will not interact with minors.
please read rules in carrd before interacting.
discord available to mutuals upon request! ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚
est. may, 2023. adored by pan (he/she/they , CET timezone).
my collei drawings can be divided into two genres............
@electric-ecclectic :
Cold weather is a good excuse to have a warm cup of tea 🍵
"ah, you're right! i did just get a new type of tea from the city that i haven't tried yet— it's a blend of rosehip and mint!"
There is beauty to the mundanity of everyday life. With this premise, al-Haitham will never disagree. The Akademiya prides itself of counting a flurry of exceptional people within its ranks, and the country had known its fair share of exceptional events as of late... and sometimes (often) (for a long time), the scribe reflects that extraordinary people are expected to only ever engage with the extraordinary. That they may instead crave the simplicity and comfort of an ordinary life sounds blasphemous to those who don't possess the same qualities they do.
He should know. How many times had his professors tried to convince him to pursue further scholarship instead of applying to administrative jobs, back in the days - how many had choked on their tea, learning he had first refused, and then resigned as Grand Sage?
Of course, Collei is extraordinary in a different way -- al-Haitham doesn't know the details, nor has he asked, nor does he think he needs to ask lest Collei expresses a want to share her story, but... it's just more of the same, isn't it. It takes a certain kind of people (like Collei), and a certain type of pain (like Collei's) to realise how precious the small things are.
"Of course you deserve them. Good to hear you affirming it, though. There are too many people who are scared of voicing their wants and desires, as simple or as grandiose as they are, for fear of coming across as vain, ambitious, or selfish; when really, to want to do things for oneself is perfectly natural." A comfortable pause follows, the scribe taking a sip of his own coffee. Magazines, huh - maybe he should ask Kaveh if they have any laying around the house somewhere...
"And how has it been going so far?" He asks, burnt emerald gaze returning to her, inquisitive - or perhaps moreso curious. "Doing normal things. Has it been what you expected?"
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ || collei understands where al-Haitham is coming from, though she's still a little surprised to hear him point it out; there have, in fact, been many times when collei has deemed herself unworthy of nice things. as a child, traumatized and lonely, she had wondered if she had done anything wrong to deserve all the pain she had suffered. it had been beaten into her head— figuratively and literally— that her unclean self didn't deserve even the bare minimum of things needed to meet basic human needs.
collei had spent years looking longingly at kids her age who could play in a carefree manner she had never experienced herself. they could laugh and cry and play, all without any consequence.
she's a few years late, and she will no doubt carry some pain in her heart for the rest of her life, but it's freeing to know that she now can finally experience the type of mundane life she had always craved. she knows she deserves it.
"selfishness is needed for survival," she comments quietly and leaves it at that. perhaps someday she can give al-Haitham the full story about what she had gone through, but she'll save it for a different day. for now, she enjoys the calm atmosphere and surprisingly pleasant conversation— it's nice to speak with someone who doesn't treat her as a pitiful child.
"it's been... really nice, and calming, sometimes a little frustrating, i guess. but i've learned a lot, even about myself too." she looks down at her coffee again; it's going to go cold if she doesn't finish it soon. "...when i was a kid, i didn't really... have the chance to— um, be a person? but now, i know all sorts of things about myself." her gaze moves towards the beautiful, tinted glass windows of the cafe. "like... i'm pretty good at cooking. and i like the color purple, but i don't like wearing it. and... i like upbeat music more than slow music... and i like the scent of coffee, but not really the flavor of it, eheh."
"ha~... it's kinda cold today, huh..."
don't mind me quietly trying to do some construction on this blog ehe.... i'll try to reblog some memes and perhaps put out an open starter soon hopefully!! i swear i do still have muse for collei, but i'm having a hard time with tumblr rping. if anyone prefers to rp over on discord, lmk and we can exchange handles! ♡
@freshsprout liked.
"You should stay away from me. Even those with a vision may be harmed if exposed to me for too long." His karmic debt grows heavier by the day, but he can't halt in his duty. He will simply need to distance himself further.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ || "exposed to you...?" she repeats the words with no fear in her voice. on the contrary, she simply sounds curious and a little confused. is this man perhaps cursed, and afraid he might hurt others because of it? because in that case— collei already has some personal experience with that.
"unless you go out of your way to attack me, i think i'll be fine."
It definitely was better to be wet than on fire, as much as he didn't expect the sudden splash.
Bennett evoked the image of a soaked dandelion then- though it's nothing a dog-shake doesn't fix. Mostly. Kind of. (It occurs to him a second later that Collei is in the splash zone. It's something he'll apologize for once he makes sure she's not injured.)
"Thanks-!! That didn't get you either, did it?"
She doesn't look on fire, in any case. Now that the projectile has lost some flame though, it becomes easier to see that it's no more than a splatter of slime. Dangerous still, sure, but Bennett breaths a sigh of relief that it's not an arrow. Fingers crossed it was actually from a slime, and not-
Then the sound of chattering broke that thought, and another young Pyro Slime was flung at them and the cart. Stomping could be heard from behind them, and the two were promptly surrounded by a Pyrotechnician Group of hilichurls. Complete with an Axe Mita, three of those slime-throwers, one electro archer, and a hydro sama; this could be interesting.
Bennett's blade flashed into his hand.
"Brace yourself!!"
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ || the fire had luckily not gotten her, but she does catch a few of the stray droplets as bennett shakes the water off. collei makes a small noise of surprise, but otherwise, she's fine; again, it's better to be wet than on fire. "i'm fine!" she's quick to assure him in that brief moment of peace they have before the hilichurls make themselves fully known.
collei turns to the group with wide eyes, dread settling in her stomach. "oh no..." she and bennett are obviously outnumbered and she doesn't like how many elements the hilichurls are wielding. however, she recovers from the shock quickly, already grabbing her bow and getting into a defensive stance. it's not often she gets to stand alongside a pyro wielder, but she has a feeling this can get interesting— as long as they both stay careful.
"watch out!"
her timid attitude quickly melts away as forest ranger instincts take over. she gives bennett a quick glance before she throws her dendro-infused boomerang at the enemies, luckily hitting most of them. though it does little to no damage, it does afflict them with dendro, which is exactly what she was hoping for. dendro and pyro make for a great combination after all.
and thus, the stage has been set for bennett's attacks.
"Now, now. The medication serves its role only to help you. Surely you understand that by now."
He pressed two fingers to the injection site, applying gentle pressure to the skin and flesh, searching for heat or signs of PAIN. No exudate, no pitting oedema, no sloughing of the skin or subcutaneous layers - a PROMISING sign.
"Hm, is that so? I suppose we'll have to re-evaluate our protocol then."
Pain unresponsive to medication was a common enough observation in his line of work. The continuous and altogether NOXIOUS stimulation produced by the contact between Archon Residues and organic tissues was a physiological phenomenon that had remained entirely un-described in the medical literature prior to his research. As it stood, trying to determine the thresholds of these side effects was an area of investigation still underway.
"But first, I'll need you to be a little more communicative." He spread a thin layer of ointment over the reddened patch of skin.
"Does the pain usually start at the injection site? Does it spread slowly or quickly? How long does it last?"
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ || his attitude sickens her, the way he pretends to care about her well-being. his words are supposed to sound professional, like he's an actual doctor -- but to collei, he simply makes a mockery of the profession. he's cold and uncaring, just like the way he presses his touch against the injection site. she flinches, makes a little sound; not just from physical pain, but from the disgust and fear she holds towards this man. she doesn't want to be touched, least of all by him.
the ointment itself isn't painful, yet it feels like his touch is burning her; those hands that he's used to torture her and all the other unfortunate victims stuck in this hell, some of which haven't survived. collei knows it -- she's seen the body bags, and grown familiar with the stench of death.
she wonders how much longer she'll last.
her head remains turned away from him as she grits her teeth, quietly considering if she should even answer the man's question. she doesn't want to... but she also doesn't want to see what he'll do to her if she refuses.
"...starts at the- the injection site," she mumbles reluctantly. "spreads... quickly. lasts for- i-i don't know." lasts for too long; for an eternity, it feels like.
The way the heart wanders in the belly of August // Part 19
August 5th, 2022
"Well - I expect Tighnari knows what he is talking about, but I don't see the harm in trying out a few sips." The scribe won't have the dishonesty of pretending he knows the first thing about handling teenagers, but even he can tell that the Forest Ranger may be (understandably so) a little protective over his ward. Al-Haitham doesn't know the details, nor has he asked for them, but even he would expect the road to recovery from Eleazar and the Fatui's influence to be a long and arduous one.
Now, does that mean walking on eggshells is necessarily the way to go? It is not his place to say, he reasons with himself, when he looks at Collei, and catches these first glimpses of independence, these tentative first steps back into a life she has been robbed off and handed back so very late.
His place, however, is to introduce her to something as inoffensive as a scholar's coffee drinking tradition -- and to pick up on whatever subtle cues the girl drops for him to interpret. This is what this is about them? he wonders. Gloved fingers drum quietly against the rim of his own cup. "That was to be expected, I suppose. Most young people want to experience the same things their peers do. Belonging with the group is an integral part of identity formation in one's younger years." The scribe muses; looking entirely unconvinced
Perhaps it is their difference in experience suddenly that suddenly over their conversation like a dissonant shrill. Collei had been deprived of a normal childhood and never been given the chance to form her own experiences - al-Haitham has made his own and near-instantly decided the group was not something he wanted anything with.
"What does it mean for you to do things like normal people?" He asks, curious, as he reclines in his chair, one arm thrown over the backrest. "I don't know if it's any comfort, but there are many people who don't like coffee either - all while being perfectly normal. You don't have to force yourself to fit into a mould made up of arbitrary rules, you know."
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ || the coffee mug remains in her grasp for now, though she makes no move to take a third sip. with how much milk she's added to it, its offensive flavour has mellowed out into something she can, at the very least, force herself to finish. for now, however, she simply wants to enjoy the warmth against the sore joints of her hands.
patiently, she listens to her company, trying her best to keep up with his train of thought. part of her feels happy that he has deemed her smart enough to have a conversation that goes beyond, hello, how are you? al-haitham has always struck her as the type of person to only engage in conversation with a purpose.
his questions are not ones collei has given much thought to before, so she allows herself a moment to mull it over - and then another moment to put words to her feelings. it's a little difficult when normalcy and belonging must have such different meanings to her and al-haitham.
her gaze moves to the mug in her hands. "it's not about wanting to fit in," she starts firmly. "...and it's not about me trying to be normal; i already know i'm not. a-and that's fine, i've accepted that a long time ago. but i..." she tries to keep her tone sure. even if it's a little scary to talk about, she wants al-haitham to know she feels strongly about these things. "i want to experience normal things because i never had the chance to do any of them before; normal things that people usually think are boring - to me, they're things i've longed for."
"i want to try coffee... and go shopping and read magazines and - and travel for fun and learn how to bake. i want to do it for myself because... i think i deserve it. to try these things."
it's me, i'm amber
ft. little gremlin collei (manga ver)
@freshsprout || continued from here!
Signe’s eyes widened in excitement, giving her a small smile and holding up a finger in a small gesture to wait. Collei was always a curious individual, but to be able to help her in her learning process was of great interest to her; she was sure Lisa would be just as happy to hear it.
“Wait right there, I have just the thing.”
She disappears behind the bookshelves, and not a sound is heard aside from a bit of shuffling here and there. But just a few moments later, Signe returns with a small armful of nature books filled with gentler vernacular than that which might be used by the Akademiya.
“Plenty of people in Mondstadt find it easier to understand things about the environment when it’s explained in smaller, easier to break down terms. You can borrow them if you’d like - just as long as they’re returned by the end of your trip.”
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ || despite collei's embarrassing request, she senses no judgment from signe. it can't be helped, but collei is always hesitant to ask for help like this from someone who isn't familiar with her background. she knows she must come off as some stupid child, or sheltered, or perhaps even lazy. she knows it doesn't make sense for a teenager to ask for books written for children.
but signe doesn't ask questions. in fact, she returns to collei with more books than she had been expecting. for a moment, she's even stunned into silence, eager eyes peering at each book.
"t-thank you, miss signe." she glances briefly out the window, at the unwavering rain. "...would it be alright if i read some of them here in the library? at least until the rain lets up."
{Quotes:Nitya prakash/Richard siken ,crush}
"'course Collei. You don't have to tell me anything before you want to- and again, I wouldn't hate you even if you were dangerous."
And maybe he's accidentally projected a bit here, maybe that isn't actually something she was worried about, but he won't leave any doubt that he doesn't trust her. Is it the safest way to conduct life? No. But he wasn't safe, so what more harm was offering a hand?
Either way, it meant alot she didn't mind him either.
"Hey, I'm happy I get to be your friend too!! You teach me what you want, and I'll teach you anything you want to know. For now-"
He unslips the knot, and then gently shoves it to get the balloon cart going.
"-let's get this show on the road!"
..And as if on que, something bright and hot screamed over his head, past Collei, and imbedded itself into the dirt- leaving the ground scorched and Bennett smacking out a flame trying to eat his hair.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ || bennett is such a genuine and kind person, collei can't help but be... impressed. he's obviously had his fair share of struggles, yet he manages to remain so upbeat, so trusting of collei even when she's literally telling him that she's cursed. it's definitely a dangerous way to live life, foolish too perhaps. his attitude is the complete opposite of how collei had been as a child. she had been such a jaded person back then, and though she's certainly improved her view on life throughout the years, she's still nowhere near as positive as bennett. truly, it's impressive how he remains smiling; it's infectious too.
trying not to get too lost in her thoughts, she focuses on bennett as he undoes the knot. in fact, she's so focused that she notices too late the surprise attack.
"wha-!? what--"
immediately, she turns to stare at the now scorched ground behind them. what on earth had that been - a flaming arrow? an attack from a pyro slime? well, she'll try to answer those questions later. for now, she turns to bennett, clearly alarmed.
"y-your hair! um, um-" no, she can't panic now. she's a forest ranger, she's been trained for this! quickly, she grabs a water bottle from her bag and dumps its contents all over bennett's head. better to be wet than on fire, right?
Kaveh looked at her, and shook his head lightly. "You got us out of that situation. I think that's good enough!" Besides it was his feet that got entangled with the vines. Even a forest ranger couldn't predict that! No, even Tighnari would probably get tangled in them. Although now that was a funny thought.
The architect snickered for a moment at the funny imagery before turning his attention back to the young forest ranger. "You did well! I appreciate it." He did mean it! Collei was so much calmer than he was. Without even knowing what he almost did, she still acted cool and collected, just like her teacher had taught her. It took guts to be like that even in the face of danger. He would've gladly said all of this aloud if his head wasn't hurting this bad.
"Please don't put down your achievements. Be proud. We're both still here, in one piece. Besides," Kaveh winks though there was still some strain on his part as he did so. "It'll take more than that to knock me out!"
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ || it would be so easy for collei to fall into a pit of negative thoughts, but she tries her best to keep herself out of it. kaveh was right; she had gotten them safely out of danger, and that's what matters the most. putting herself down over what she could've done better isn't going to change the past, so she nods and puts on a determined face. if she really wants to, she can beat herself up over this later when she's alone.
"y-you're right, mister kaveh... i'm just glad we're both okay." concussed is better than dead, after all.
carefully, she sets mehrak down next to the rock kaveh is sitting on. "take as long as you need to recover, then let me know when you're ready to start walking back to gandharva ville. i'm not in a rush or anything, but - i do want master or one of the healers there to take a look at your concussion... if it's hard to walk, i can lend you my walking stick...?"
