I got married in Nellieās dress from The Haunting of Hill House š
I could write an entire novel about why each of Mike Flanaganās works mean the world to me, so I wonāt get into that right now in this post. I just got my wedding photos back, and the gallery was sent right as we were on The Bent Neck Lady episode of our quarterly rewatch of The Haunting of Hill House (talk about right on timing by our photographer, @ lyssanicolephoto on insta)??
Incorporating Flanaganās works into our wedding was always a priority to my husband and I. We quoted a couple of them in our vows, but wearing Nellieās dress and necklace were the icing on the cake. It felt like a hug of comfort from a character I see so much of myself in ā„ļø
When I accepted that I also liked women, I was terrified. I saw how my brother was treated when he was forced to come out. I saw how the church that was our āsafe placeā quickly turned to the exact opposite. I know what he heard about him simply because of who he was and who he loved. I thought that I was going to lose everyone. I kept it a secret.
July 4th, 2019: Stranger Things Season 3 released. Of course the series had the multiple storylines that would funnel together at the end, but my eyes were tunnel vision on the Scoops Troop. More specifically, Robin. There was something about her, and I couldnāt put my finger on it. I just knew that I loved her character.
Fast forward to episode 7, āThe Biteā. Iām alone watching the episode. The Troop just escaped the underground base, and Steve and Robin are in the bathroom. Steve starts confessing his feelings to Robin. Iām watching Robinās facial expressions, and just know. Tears start streaming down my face as Steve slides under the stall to talk face-to-face. Robin starts her monologue. She comes out to Steve.
Iām holding my breath as I watch the screen. Iām crying. Iām waiting to hear what they are going to have Steve say and thenā¦
āTammy Thompson is cute and all, but sheās a total dud.ā
Steve and Robin playfully banter and joke, and I start heaving a full out sobbing.
I paused the episode. Iām laying in bed. A million thoughts are in my mind, but one sticks out:
āThere has to be more of Steve out there.ā
I pick up my phone, and I come out to everyone I knew.
I wouldnāt be who I am without Stranger Things. I donāt know if I wouldāve ever come out if it werenāt for Stranger Things. I wish I could just thank the writers who wrote this scene and everyone who approved it. I will always be grateful for Robin. From the show to her book to her podcast, Robin has been the most relatable character to me.
"I just thought, 'I really want to go and lounge around on some sofas and do absolutely nothing and drop some funny lines.'" ROSAMUND PIKE on playing ELSPETH CATTON in SALTBURN (2023)
pairing: ellie williams x platonic!f!reader, joel miller x reader
summary: ellie calls you mom for the first time. (requested)
warnings: SO MUCH FLUFF! read if your heart was broken by tonight's episode. it will heal you. fr.
word count: 2.3k
a/n: hello! i wrote this immediately following the episode bc i needed to be happy!!!!!!! it is not proof read just fyi. please please please let me know what you think of it; and as always, my requests are open!
masterlist
Motherhood was something that you had never considered. Not even once. In fact, you don't think you had the capacity to nurture a human from birth. Lucky for you, there was zero societal pressure on you to do so since there were hoards of infected roaming the earth.
You were at peace with this.
Until Ellie came along.
She annoyed you at first. The type of annoyance that slipped under your skin and clawed you from the inside out. You could not stand her, often refusing to give her the time of day and instead turning to Joel.
Slowly but surely, she knocked down your walls; weaseling her way into your heart. After everything that you had gone through with her, how could you not care for the girl?
Ellie, Joel, and you had made your way back to Jackson after your journey; traumatized and exhausted. But at least you three were alive.
Maria and Tommy were able to put the three of you in a house that you hoped would become your home. You had no plans to leave the safe space and neither did Joel and Ellie.
It shocked you how quickly the three of you were able to fall into a domestic routine. Ellie went to school, Joel worked with Tommy wherever help was needed, and you helped in the garden.
You had not had a routine in years, instead focusing your energy on surviving each day with Joel. But you didn't mind the lack thereof, you lived for the thrill of waking up each day not knowing what was the come. It was the easiest way for you to cope with the way the world had changed over the past twenty years.
The past four months changed you though, for the better. You often looked back on your past self with disgust at how you could act the way you did. To not let people in and treat others with hatred. But Joel taught you how to sympathize with your younger self; how to look at them and let your heart ache. Given the circumstances of having to fight for your life each day, your hardness and lack of kindness made sense.
You had no other choice.
Ellie came back from school one day to you and Joel cuddled up on the couch, his head in your lap snoring softly.
You flashed her a smile and quietly asked about her day. She mumbled something about it being fine and took a step closer to you both. "Were family dinners a thing that people actually did back before-" she paused, taking a moment to think of the right phrasing. "Well, everything?"
Your eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "Huh?"
"It's just that-" she started, taking a seat on the chair next to the couch. "We watched a film at school and they were eating all together at the table and I thought that was weird but when I said something about it, all the kids- they uh- they looked at me like I was crazy?" her voice trailed up at the end.
"Ah," you exhaled, fingers tangled in Joel's hair. Ellie didn't like not knowing everything, you and her were alike in that aspect.
"I don't know why I asked- it's stupid and like it doesn't matter-" Ellie rambled on, popping up from her seat on the couch causing Joel to stir in his sleep from the sudden noise.
"Ellie-" you interrupted gently. "Would you like for us all to have dinner together? Seated a table?"
Her shoulders lowered, the tension leaving her body in an instant. "Yeah," she sighed. "Would that be okay?"
Your cheeks pinched up with a smile, "Of course, babygirl. Anything for you."
A noise of excitement left her lips before she slapped her hand over her mouth, looking to Joel to see if he would wake. You kept as still as humanly possible, hoping that he wouldn't wake. A second passed and he didn't further stir as the both of you let out the air in your lungs. She mouthed a 'sorry' at you before bounding up the stairs to her room.
"Y/N?" Joel questioned, causing your heart to leap in fear.
"Jesus, Joel! I didn't know you were awake!" you clutched your pounding heart, praying that it wouldn't fall out of your chest. He snickered, rotating his body so he was looking up at you from your lap.
"Family dinner?"
"Yeah, now get up and help me get ready."
The two of you spent the next couple of hours preparing a meal for the three of you. This was the most carefree you had ever seen Joel before. Things felt, for lack of a better word, normal.
It was weird.
But amazing.
Joel laughed and spun you around the kitchen, attacking your sides when you tried to actually get something done. You would slap his hand away, giggling to yourself, begging him to stop. By the end, your cheeks ached from smiling.
Both of you were proud by the end of it, even going as far as to invite Maria, Tommy, and their new baby over to join you for the meal.
You greeted your guests at the door, enjoying playing hostess as you grabbed their coats, ushering them into the living room so you could all talk before sharing a meal.
"Ellie!" you called up to her as everyone took their seats. She came barreling down the stairs and practically jumped into the space next to you on the couch. You slung a lazy arm over her as she leaned into your side, soaking up the comfort of the situation.
Ellie felt as though she was in one of the films she had watched in class, curled up next to you laughing with the adults of the room as the baby cooed in Joel's arms.
"Hey!" you exclaimed towards Joel. "Don't be such a hog, the baby wants to see her aunt and cousin too!"
Ellie felt her heart stop.
Cousin?
She was considered the baby's cousin.
You removed your arms from Ellie's shoulders as you took the baby from Joel's arms, cradling her to your chest and rocking her gently. Her little eyes looked up to you as she made quiet noises, little hands reaching up to your face.
"Hi baby, hi."
Ellie watched over your shoulder, trying to make the funniest faces she could to get the baby's attention.
The conversation continued to roar while drinks were poured, but the little baby did not leave your arms and neither did Ellie leave your side.
Stomachs started to rumble when Joel suggested you move the party to the dining room table. Maria took the baby from your arms and popped upstairs to lay her down in a crib in one of the rooms. She very subtly (not) made sure to set the three of you up in a house with a crib in case you and Joel ever thought of having a child together.
Tommy, Maria, and Ellie took a seat at the table, Tommy quizzing Ellie on the things she was learning in school while you and Joel finished putting the final touches on everything.
You felt him come up to your back, lacing his hands around your body and pulling you into his chest. He buried his face into your hair, his breath hot on your skin.
"Hey," he mumbled, letting his eyes shut with contentment.
"Hey, cowboy."
"This is nice," he spoke, pulling his head up.
"Well," you spun around to face him, placing your hands on his chest. "Make sure you thank Ellie, this was her idea."
You could not deny the happy ache in your chest at his bright smile. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to your own. He tried to deepen it but you shoved him away with a laugh.
"We have guests!"
He gave you a wink before picking up the bowl of salad and making his way back out to the table.
You followed close behind carrying a tray. Ellie cheered as you set everything down at the table.
"It looks great, thanks guys," Maria spoke with a smile, starting to pass around the food as soon as you and Joel sat down.
"Make sure to thank Ellie, she was the one who suggested that we do this," you laughed, giving her a playful kick underneath the table.
"Well thank you, Ellie," Tommy announced, loading salad onto his plate.
The conversation flowed, covering each and every topic imaginable.
Ellie grew quiet as the dinner progressed, eyes growing heavy with tiredness from her day at school and the excitement of the night.
You sipped your drink, glancing over to her to check up on her lack of speech.
"Tired?" you questioned, letting Joel tell an embarrassing story of Tommy from when he was a kid to Maria.
Ellie looked up from her plate to meet your eyes. She shrugged in response.
"Want to go up to sleep?" you questioned, raising your eyebrow.
She shook her head vigorously, anxiety levels starting to rise at the thought of leaving. She wished this moment was written down, so she could read it and relive it over and over again. It was true perfection.
You narrowed your eyes, "Let's go up. They're probably going to head out in a couple."
Ellie frowned, crossing her hands over her chest in defiance.
You rolled your eyes, tapping Joel lightly on the shoulder to let him know you were going to take Ellie up to bed. She wearily bid them goodbye, trudging up the stairs with you following close behind. You followed her into her room and sat down on the bed, letting her excuse herself to the bathroom to get ready for bed.
You absentmindedly ran your hand over the blanket covering her bed, tracing light patterns into it. You heard the found of her soft feet on the floor padding over to the bed, where she took a seat next to you.
She let her head fall on your shoulders as the two of you sat in comfortable silence.
"Thank you," she whispered, breaking that silence.
You hummed in response, "Thank you for suggesting it."
She was quiet again, blinks becoming slower and longer. She lived for moments like this, moments where she didn't have to ask for you to stay while she fell asleep; moments where you just would.
Your fingers wracked through the strands of her hair. You could sense there was something on her mind. "What are you thinking about?"
Ellie sighed through her nose. "Did you mean it when you said I was the baby's cousin?"
"What?" you questioned, turning your head to look down at her.
She pushed her head further into your shoulder, not wanting to look up at you in case you said no. "You said you were the baby's aunt and I was a cousin."
"Yeah?" you questioned, hoping she would expand.
"Oh," she breathed, quieting again. You became nervous she was going to fall asleep on you so you guided her into her covers, making sure she was cozy. She made a noise of defiance but eventually surrendered realizing how warm it was. "Will you stay?"
"Always," you smiled, laying a gentle hand on her cheek before going to sit in the chair in her room. You watched, thinking she would drift off to sleep immediately, but she didn't.
That's when it hit you.
What she was getting at.
You said that she was a part of the family and she didn't know what to make of that.
If to believe it.
"Ellie?" you spoke up in the silence.
"Yeah?" she responded, her voice raspy from the beginning stages of sleep.
"You know-" you paused. "You know you're a part of this family, right? You are family to us."
Ellie felt her entire body still, tears immediately starting to swell in her eyes.
Holy fuck did it feel amazing to hear that.
"Yeah," she croaked, hoping that her voice wouldn't give away the happy tears streaming down her face.
You smiled to yourself as you watched her entire body relax, sending her almost straight into sleep.
"Goodnight, Ellie."
"Goodnight, mom."
Now you couldn't stop the tears from streaming down your face as she drifted off into a restful sleep. You stood up as soon as you heard her quiet snores and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, "Sweet dreams, babygirl."
You shut off the light and closed the door gently, creeping down the stairs. Tears still seeping out of your eyes as you found Joel washing up in the kitchen. His face showed panic the second he saw your tears.
"What's wrong-"
"Ellie called me mom," you cut him off with a sob. He pulled you into your chest as you cried.
Cried for the happiness you felt.
Cried for the despair of what brought the three of you together.
Cried the first tears of motherhood.
Joel shushed you, holding you tight to his chest. Ignoring the swell of his own heart. Damn domesticity and the emotions that came with being safe. He held you til your eyes dried.
He pulled you away from his chest to look into your eyes. "Okay?" he questioned.
You nodded, wiping away the remaining tears. "Yeah."
Are any of you going to the Faye Webster and Maya Hawke concert in Nashville? Iām driving 10 hours for the show and would love to make some friends there āļø
Side note: look at these pictures from a photoshoot I just did š„¹ pls use me as the face claim for your sapphic fanfic OCs lmaooooo
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