[Image IDs: Molly, looking bored while she sews: every time I see a post about updog I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help the poster complete their joke.
Percy, doing a think: okay but what’s updog?
Indus, posing: Updog is a long sausage in a bun often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.
Zora, being intimidating in a window: No, that’s a hotdog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.
Giovanni, being Giovanni: You’re thinking of update. Updog is when you end a sentence with a rising intonation.
Howie, being done with this conversation: No, that’s uptalk. You’re thinking of the fourth-largest city in Sweden.
Ramsey, being annoyed: Surely that’s Uppsala, whereas updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter. (Giovanni is screaming in the background)
Sylvie, looking very done: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.
Giovanni, doing a think: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.
Ramsey: No that’s an updraft. Updog isn’t a noun at all, it’s a verb; it basically means to chew someone out, or harshly lecture them. (Percy is in the background, physically weakened by this discussion)
Gorou, being nice and friendly: No, that’s upbraid. An updog is a small dog that likes cuddling on people’s laps.
Bugsy, doing an inform: No, that’s a puppydog. An updog is when the Mets win. (Arnold is smiling smugly, waiting for the inevitable bad joke to drop)
Zora, pointing her gun: No, that’s an upset. An updog is the modern version of a henway.
Percy, very confused: What’s a henway?
Sylvie, very smug: Oh, about five pounds.
Giovanni, proud: GOTTEM
Mera, screaming: this post pushed me down the stairs and stole my firstborn child. End IDs]
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