Me, bitch

I cannot be stopped

[frightbicycle]

In honour of Christmas being nowhere near around the corner, an important reminder:

"He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake." A terrifying notion to begin with, this lyric establishes that Santa Claus watches you while you sleep. It does not however indicate that he sees you while you are awake, only that he is aware that you are not asleep. This implies Santa ONLY watches you while you sleep. I find this far more disturbing.

Many more questions are raised by this. How does your sleep determine whether you are naughty or nice? Is he watching our dreams? Are the elves using our dreams to reverse engineer the events of the day?

In any case, his naughty/nice criteria lacks evidence.

This also directly disproves Elf on a Shelf lore! ITS ALL LIES

[frightbicycle]

Math is evil that's why they call it sin tax

[frightbicycle]

To all expecting parents of twins (a boy and a girl):

Do NOT name your kids Luke and Leia. It's gross. Didn't you watch the movies? And it's overplayed.

However, DO name your twins Leto II and Ghanima. It's unique, and they don't at any point try to jump one another's bones. Also please name child #3 St. Alia of the Knife it would be so sick

[frightbicycle]

If I had a genie wish I would wish for an infinite supply of cornbread minus the health ramifications of eating infinite cornbread.

[starlingsongs-deactivated201608]

When trans women are mocked and made into jokes in the media, I get very upset, and I am often told “Kay, you can’t go through life getting offended every time someone makes a joke.” And I sputter and object but they don’t hear me. So I want to be clear for once, about why the jokes make me angry.

I learned to hate myself for being transgender before I knew I was transgender. I laughed at the jokes in stand up comedy routines, and prime time sitcoms, and animated comedy shows, and in the movies, and in books, and in games, laughing at trans women for existing, about “men in dresses”, about people who “got their dicks chopped off”, and I learned to think that was worthy of ridicule.

And then a day came when I felt a pang of envy at what my female classmates were wearing and I repressed it, and felt guilty, and a day where I felt incomplete because I had no breasts and I repressed it and I felt disgusting And a day when I realized the only images of romance that made me feel anything showed two women together and I repressed it and I felt like a monster And a day when I realized I felt sick when I looked at myself in the mirror after every shower before work and couldn’t bear to look at my own face, and I hated myself. And then there came a day when I hated myself so much, and I thought I could never understand why, and so I just wanted it all to end. And it was just a miracle that I swerved my car back into my lane in time.

And all of it started with a joke that I heard on TV, and then kept hearing from all the voices from the ether, over and over and over, worming an idea into my mind before I was old enough to realize I was absorbing it, the idea that a man in a dress is funny, and that changing your body parts makes you a freak, and that women who have penises instead of vaginas are liars and hurt men. And they’re still making these jokes. And somewhere out there right now, just like all those years ago, there is a little girl in a t-shirt and cargo shorts with buzzed off hair watching the TV, hearing that joke and absorbing it without knowing it, who will someday have to pry herself apart to tear it out of her head, just like I did.

That is, if she doesn’t kill herself first.

[starlingsongs-deactivated201608]

I know this is a really heavy post but if you read it and you appreciated it, I’d appreciate it in return if you reblogged it. This is really important to me and I want people to read it and understand it. Thank you.

[frightbicycle]

*approaches with my entourage of unintelligent but loyal hooligans in our crisp varsity jackets*

"Hey dweeb, I heard you're try and ask my girl to prom! Seems we have a bit of competition then! That's it, meet me by the basketball court at 5PM, and we'll settle this like ADULTS. Come on, boys!"

5PM, by the basketball court:

There you are! Now let's get this overwith...

*a foldout table with two chairs and a neatly-dressed man sat between them*

Professional Mediator: I hear we're having a disagreement?

[frightbicycle]

They are T4T. I cannot explain why

[frightbicycle]

Cyberpunk 2077's slang is obviously satire, HOWEVER.

"Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Partner, Lover," etc: traditional, conventional, come with expectations norms and assumptions

"Input / Output": can refer to sex without romance or commitment, does not assume gender and genitals to be related, demystifies sex as a concept, catchy and modern

Obviously it can come across as objectifying. But in a world where it's accepted as common slang, especially one as hyper-sexual as Cyberpunk, it could just as easily be empowering!!

Let trans women be their boyfriends' input!! who gives a shit

[frightbicycle]

Analog horror and ARGs used to be like you stumble on a tiny youtube channel where a woman vlogs regularly and doesn't notice the creatures lurking in the background, over time she notices and begins to investigate.

Now analog horror and ARGs are like Hi welcome to Fuzzy Wuzzy's Friendship Bracelets and there will be fifty youtube deep dives on it in the first five days and plushies for sale by the end of the month

[frightbicycle]

I present: Protagonists that turn to evil and the VISIBLY EVIL villains that take advantage of them

I know they are children when they meet and that Palpatine and Silco both groom them, which is the key component to this (especially given both Anakin and Powder are without father figures at a young age). But like. COME ON. They are VISIBLY EVIL. Like, CARTOONISHLY villainous.

[frightbicycle]

What's so bad about bootlegging? WHERE ELSE WOULD YOU FIND A BOOT. THAT IS WHERE IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE.

And don't give me any of that "it's a pirate thing because of piracy" because boots are NOT exclusive to pirates. Pirates do NOT have exclusive boot access. I wear boots on MY legs and I have NEVER ONCE boarded and looted a ship on the high seas.

If it is a reference to piracy, it should be called "peglegging". Pirates are the only ones with wooden pegs on their leg. The world is insane