heres some baseless connections im making as i go insane before class
blue flowers. blue like the blue attacks which you have to remain still for. blue like the echo flowers which freeze sounds in time. blue like a blue screen of death. blue as a representation of stillness, of taking pause.
there is a future, but we will not look there for now. lets just pause and be in this single moment. lets stay here a while.
and then my way more baseless shit
blue like whatever the fuck this miss mizzle dialogue entails
blue like carol, blue like ice, blue like water. I'm throwing every association deltarune and undertale have with blue at the wall to see what sticks. blue like SANS
Kris might want to go to the festival with Berdly - And that's okay.
There's been a long-standing misconception in the fandom about the festival options with Berdly that I'm quite tired of still seeing around. I guess it's because it's funny to frame it as Kris being very adverse to the option to go with him, but the joke loses steam when it's based on a very possible misinterpretation of the relationship.
As the fandom has been exposed to one extreme end of the conversation ("Kris HATES Berdly" crowd), I think the fandom should also hear from an actual shipper and not an ironic one or Berdly hater (or Kris hater even). We will ALL give you a different point of view on this topic and one side honestly feels like blatant mischaracterization.
Basically. NO, Kris does not hate that we can choose to go with Berdly. They do not hate him. Annoyed? Maybe. Hate? No. I want to explain why I think they're actually pretty cool with this.
(Obviously this analysis will be VERY biased. I am a kerdly shipper, so a kerdly perspective is expected. This is a very long semi-serious text analysis & mild crashout post on the fandom btw. (YAY.) Post will be subject to future edits and additions!)
Clearing Out Some Thoughts
The popular interpretation of the "repeating Berdly" dialogue has been my BIGGEST HEADACHE ever since the chapters released and I'm frustrated it hasn't been cleared up after all these months. It mainly comes from people who don’t understand how Kris and Berdly’s relationship has been set up so far (which to be fair is kind of subtle). I personally recommend everyone, even me, to do another run of DR to refresh yourself on character relationships.
NO, Kris is not screaming in fear here. They are not flailing, gagging, nor throwing a fit about it. I've literally seen people claim that Kris "started crying" at this option...which just goes to show how the flanderization has blown out of proportion. Where is this dialogue you guys speak of?? What Deltarune did you guys play??
You can see where my frustration comes from after so many bad faith takes like these have been popularized. I blame viral fan content interpretations where they have Kris screaming and crashing out. Not to mention, one of the most popular voiceovers from what I've seen ISN'T EVEN THE RIGHT DIALOGUE. It's the one audio where Ralsei says "Why do you sound so confused Kris?" I know people don't like checking the source material, so I'm almost convinced this is what blew this misconception out of proportion because a "haha funni Berdly hate" video will stick with people more than the canon interaction. There's a lot of videos btw, this isn't any specific callout to anyone :/
ANYWAYS. Let me break down the actual dialogue for y'all. A lot of this comes from discussing with and seeing discussion between other kerdly-heads, so I think these are things that we've come to a common consensus on. Healthy debate is always welcome though.
Kris: Your Honor, He's Not That Bad
First of all, if the theory that the options are Kris's thoughts is correct (and the way these are phrased feels very "Kris-like" (of what we know SO FAR of their personality)), then Berdly being HERE is already quite suspicious because why are they actually considering him as an option?
If you remember, back in Chapter 2 when Susie asked Kris who they were taking to the festival, there were four options to choose from. Susie, Noelle, Ralsei, and just silence ("..."). I really like the take that this could have been the Berdly option (or "not going," that's fair too!), but Kris had not built up quite the confidence to think of him as a viable choice. Kris is also going through an arc which has them slowly gaining autonomy and confidence in the main route, and working through all of their strained relationships. It could be that up until THIS POINT, they didn't allow themselves to think of the possibility of hanging out with him again ESPECIALLY at the festival (which is a big deal btw).
Yes. These two have a history hanging out together several times. This has been very established. Kris is implied to have become distant and reclusive as of late, and that would have to include not hanging out with Berdly as much anymore. This has caused some of the awkwardness you can read between them, like Berdly's few attempts to appeal to Kris or have them join him (ex. coaster battle "join/do not join", Queen mansion puzzles) but simultaneously trying to maintain his rivalry shtick. I have to throw this out there because Noelle and Kris aren't the only ones with a weird strained/distant relationship. I think people forget this.
Despite popular fan perception, RALSEI is the one who was surprised here, NOT KRIS. Choosing Berdly momentarily stuns HIM as, to be honest, Berdly was likely not someone he thought Kris would have in mind...but they do.
The third ellipses and literal side-eye he's giving Kris is telling. He's thinking picking him was totally out of the blue (or judging their tastes /j)...and THIS is what makes Kris react. It's in response to Ralsei's questioning and silence, not because THEY were confused. They said "Berdly" just as straightforward as all the other options. If we pick Noelle, Ralsei's confusion is mild and short-lived. He simply encourages them to have Susie join them too as that would make Noelle very happy. He gets flattered if we pick him and wants Susie to hang out with them in his place, and tries to put a positive spin on the "not going" option. His reaction to Berdly sticks out awfully compared to the others, he only questions choosing him.
BTW, the way he phrases the Noelle option by not including Berdly makes me think he didn't even take into account him appearing at all, so his surprise to hearing Berdly as their choice out of everyone is understandable. It's like "Oh! Him? Yeah him, I forgot...I didn't know you two were close." And they ARE- Ralsei probably doesn't know this. They've literally met only 2 days ago and the only thing Ralsei knows about Kris (as far as we know) is what he's heard of the prophecy, and maybe Dreemurr family lore if his connection to them is true. Berdly is NOT in the prophecy, so Ralsei barely has any info on the guy (but somehow he does know about Noelle? debatable), and their encounters were limited to his short time in the Cyber World. Not the best impression to have of him vs Kris who's known and interacted with Berdly for years, so they know him way better.
I could get a lot more speculative here, and I'm totally overthinking, and say this is more proof of how Berdly is unpredictable by this world's prophetic standards. Or at least, his connection to relevancy and being “forgotten” is pushed a little further. See, Berdly is INSISTENT on going to the festival, even if his arm is fried/numbed out, he says how that won't stop him from going - and I believe him! He's stubborn! But Ralsei, the one who's been told secrets of the world and what's been foretold by time and space itself, being really surprised by Berdly being considered a festival option by Kris and him potentially joining/hanging out with the gang...is awfully interesting to me. He didn’t see that coming. Huh.
Berdly, Birds and Memory is a long post for another day.
The bread and butter of this whole damn thing. Here we go.
Kris repeats themself...LOUDLY. That's all that we get. There is no tone indicator at all. This is on purpose for some comedy, sure, but also for ambiguity. PLEASE keep this in mind for later, I will come back to this. The most important thing here is they repeat it for RALSEI who is stunned. They're trying to get their point across here. "Berdly. BERDLY. YES I SAID BERDLY."
Call me stupid, but in these two lines of dialogue, there is not a word that insinuates a BAD reception to this choice. Ralsei acts surprised at their insistence, but that doesn't mean it's because THEY were negative about it. He's trying to politely tell them "Okay I get it, I get it!!" Ralsei doesn't say “screaming,” he says “loudly.” I know debating semantics is kind of annoying, but I think it makes a world of a difference seeing how different sectors of the fandom ended up interpreting this and we still can't agree on what the right interpretation of it is.
Here's the truth though, they DIDN'T scream. They are only raising their voice at him, as if he didn't hear them the first time around (he did). Ralsei doesn't describe any other behaviors from them that would tie this to a negative connotation. Kris doesn't visibly move here like they've done in other occasions where they had a negative reaction to something. Examples are Post SNeo screaming & turning away from us, or the mild down tilt in the Chapter 4 ending cutscene. You could make the case that these are extremely serious moments and therefore more expression is needed, but there have been other subtle movements for positive scenes as well, like the Susie lake skip scene.
They've also been shown to know what the choice is before saying/acting upon it, so if they didn't want to say "Berdly," they would've been confused FROM THE START. That's literally what they did when choosing Ralsei or Noelle in Chapter 2 when Susie questions them about the festival and she comments they sounded confused. Or they would've done something to stop themselves from saying his name, even just coughing or yawning to cover it up. But they don't. They say his name. Then they double down on it. Triple down even.
Therefore, I think the interpretation that the fandom ran with...Kris screaming in disbelief, disgust, anger, even fear...is pretty baseless, false, and ridiculous. Also blatant projection from the massive Berdly hating side of the fandom who think Kris also hates him, nothing new tbh.
People ALWAYS leave these two lines out of the conversation and it makes me want to crash out, probably because if they were acknowledged their entire argument would be put into question.
Kris sounded genuine and insistent enough for Ralsei to wish them well. He thinks Susie would be happy for them to pursue him at the festival (which you can debate how true that is, but that's not the point here (but Susie WOULD care for their happiness and respect their choices, their autonomy, if that’s what they really want)). This dialogue here reads to me like "Okay, weird taste but we'll still support you! Go get him you!"
Ralsei is awkward, sure, and his social cues aren't always the best (he IS learning), but the entire conversation is simply a lighthearted back and forth. Kris is trying to be cool about this like "yes him, HIM, don't judge me damn it," which is wayyy funnier than the popular take imo!! Kris has mostly been established as a weird, kinda shy, but lowkey cool kid. A good flirt, but also easily flustered to do so ("cringe" blush sprite confirms this to me). So, with this reading of them, it's them feelling pressured by judgement and that freaking side-eye as they try to make a good case for their potential interest in Berdly. LOL.
By the way, why do so many portrayals of Kris have them acting like they're above Berdly's pompous and cringy personality as if they're not the certified weirdo of the town?? This kid barks like a dog and does weird shit on the daily y'all. They probably had cringy OCs and obsessions when they were younger that they’re trying to hide today. That’s the kind of vibes I get from Kris.
Anyways, Ralsei supports enby rights and wrongs.
Kris, Why Berdly?? - Sincerely, Everyone
I HAVE to mention this because I think it adds context to this scene and a previous chapter 2 one. In chapter 2, there is this scrapped swan boat dialogue that has Ralsei asking Kris what they are thinking about at the moment. It's a similar premise as well, and Kris DOES think about Berdly here as he's one of the choices, but goes silent when Ralsei specifically asks "what part" of him they're thinking about. (And wow, would you look at that. They’re not screaming or crashing out about choosing Berdly here either.)
This was scrapped...but the question was reimplemented in a more comedic moment with the Berdly statue. If you keep interacting with it, Kris keeps staring intently and Noelle starts to question "what part" they're even looking at. Kris is very persistent with admiring it (trolling at this point) till Noelle starts to compliment it as well.
There's also the plushie gifting options where giving it to Berdly makes everyone question them like, "Berdly, why Berdly??" Ralsei tries to wave this off as an act of kindness from their part, even if giving it to any other person would also be kind...so he was just flabbergasted. Again.
The takeaway here is that there is a small continuing pattern of Kris dodging being questioned on their interest towards Berdly because literally no one else but themself understands this. So far they don't feel like explaining. I rest my case for this point.
Kris Shoots Their Shot; Ends up in an IRL Dating Sim
This leads me here, to the choice that's been unnecessarily filled with dread by the fanbase. I have a lot of thoughts.
First of all, it's a bit weird how much people have been really stretching the joke about "punishing" Kris by having them go to the festival with Berdly. You're what, enjoying acting like you're purposefully revoking further autonomy over the kid you already control during most of the gameplay? Ah yes, the worst thing that you can do to them is pushing them to ask out the nerdy loud bird guy from class who they've already hung out with plenty of times before, and therefore knows what to expect and how to deal with him. So very punishing. Also, I know people like using this and the Ralsei dialogue as set up for the joke that this is why Kris beats the SOUL up later (I can't tell whether this joke has become unironic in the fanbase), but they were gonna beat the shit out of us whether or not we engaged with every single Berdly option or completely avoided him. That has nothing to do with him. They just hate us in general lol.
Seeing how much we don't know about Kris and their relationships still, it would be fitting for them to actually not have a problem with going with him at all to go against the popular consensus against Berdly. If the "options are Kris's thoughts" theory holds up, they were already actively considering accepting his indirect date invite anyways and you're simply acting upon their thought. You could say, the SOUL is wingmanning them to take a shot at it?? Pranking him here feels like their "safe" option because it stays in within their established dynamic so far (friendly banter), and seemingly wouldn't push their relationship any further...or does it?
Berdly’s reaction is what sells me on Kris not having a problem with this, because they say it genuinely enough to throw Berdly completely off guard. He takes THREE BOXES to recover, quite literally having a hard time comprehending what just happened here. Also, he’s flattered?? If Kris had said it in a confused or mocking way, he would have noticed right? His typical reaction to being at the other end of Kris's pranks is being quick to anger and annoyance. Him being FLATTERED, hesitant, and stuttering (just TRY voicing this out loud) makes me think Kris had no mocking tone in their voice. Maybe their response ranged from something like "Sure dude, I'll go with you." or straight up flirting with the way he's reacting - flustered!! He's FLUSTERED!!!
There’s other instances of him being confused about Kris being genuine with him. The most prominent example is at the end of the Berdly and Queen fight when Berdly is exhausted post-fight. We can have Kris walk up to him and they unpromptedly ask him if he’s okay. He’s kinda touched by the question but assures he’ll be okay, and further prompting makes him think they’re flirting with him and also pushes them away basically. It's almost like he questioned their insistence on his well-being as if they really cared, right? The plushy gift that coincidentally is figured with his desire (nipples, lol) also makes him very happy and hesitantly holds his truce "this once" with Kris. So when they actually accept his date invite, it fits the pattern of confusing him first and then...
Berdly being Berdly snaps back into his persona and, as classic (one-sided) rivals do, turns this into a competition for his hand. THIS IS THE ONLY OPTION WHERE HE MENTIONS THIS COMPETITION!!! Though, I do think it'll still end up happening because Kris, Susie, Noelle, and Berdly are going to the festival, and he's most certainly not going to show up with a partner. ANYWAYS. He was thrown so off-guard he made it up on the spot. I do think he enjoys being competitive with Kris, so this was an easy way to claim the “upper hand” in his eyes. However, I also think it was an easy excuse to make it harder to admit that this very forward acceptance was real, and not a joke on Kris’s part. He's absolutely dodging their answer here, so there could be heavy denial under that smug face.
A big part of Berdly’s journey is learning to differentiate platonic v romantic bonds. Like I've said before, a real romantic advance towards him would be met with confusion. Every instance of being kind to him in game is always met with Berdly begrudgingly thanking Kris or giving push back. He has a hard time being honest, and accepting kindness without expecting anything in return…why would he be liked just because? Why would anyone be his friend or care about him just because? It might have to do with expectations he either self-imposed or came from another figure in his life, but this is speculation on my part...it's a bit more than Universal Mother Theory.
“The lover who impresses me the most” is a very interesting phrase to me. His festival choice is not who he finds the most romantically appealing, but who he thinks will try to appeal TO HIM the most. He wants to see someone going above and beyond for him because he deeply craves that attention and true affection/connection. He’s basically saying: “I won’t make this easy for you, Kris! Show me how far you’re willing to go for me, and maybe I’ll actually believe you really want to date me! *smug face*” aaaand he will still end up denying it if they do “win.” It's par for the course with him.
ALSO he doesn't make it this hard for Noelle and Susie!! It's JUST KRIS he wants to make it hard for!! JUST SAY YES DUDE IT'S NOT THAT HARD. But now, no suspense in a ship set up would be boring, wouldn't it?
This last part just solidifies the kind of dynamic kerdly has had for a while now, which is cringe gamers taunting, challenging and ribbing at each other. Look, he's not even rejecting them here, so he's okay with them pursuing him?? I mean, HE'S the one who pulled them into this spur of the moment competition instead of just accepting god dammit.
I really think he does want to see Kris trying to vie for his hand though. He wishes them luck. That's pretty gay.
Best Prank of the Century? No, They're Just Down Bad
(↑ Ralsei surprised by “Berdly” choice VS Berdly reacting to Kris accepting ↑)
So to recollect our thoughts here, if Kris was sooo against going out with Berdly, why do they seemingly switch up overnight and decide to vaguely flirt/fluster him??? The reactions above with the popular take feel contradicting as in neither instance does Kris do anything to stop themself from acting on the choice. What, do they suddenly want to play up the prank? "SOUL, I would NEVER date Berdly!!!" to "Hey SOUL, I just had the FUNNIEST fucking idea-"
I don't buy this at all though. WHY?
BECAUSE we already have examples of Berdly being able to pick up when Kris is teasing him!!! If Kris is saying it in disbelief, in mockery, he would be able to tell! Take the scene in Ch1 when Kris taunts him to stand at the hospital window (so Rudy can throw something at him) and he picks up it's another joke; calls them unemployed. Or the many times Kris plays along w taunting/pranking him (both battles honestly, Queen's mansion interactions), or selecting the "Runs away fast" option in Ch4 which he plays along with because of their speedrunning shtick.
And why wouldn't he be able to read them when it's implied they've hung out a considerable amount of times? He would be used to hearing such tones from them. He has EXPERIENCE falling for Kris's jokes.
(Side tangent. This dialogue makes me clutch my head because he's simultaneously trying to appeal to them and putting them down. "Oh don't I seem just so cool right now, Kris? Join me and tell me I'm cool!" but also won't let them be THAT close to him. Similar to him asking for their help alone in Queen's mansion...simply to heal his bruising ego? But he's confiding in Kris in a vulnerable moment. More proof of their weird strained bond. Does he want them close or not god dammit! Is he scared of letting them in too close? To put down his walls around them? Is he just seeking their approval? What do you want Berdly?!)
(↑ Wrong Number Song VS Go with Berdly ↑)
If Kris was mocking him, I would have expected another angry or frustrated reaction that he got caught up in another joke of theirs, like in the alternate phone call choice. Yet, these are two completely different reactions, and when Kris accepts he doesn't react out of frustration, AT ALL.
I think people forget this and don't credit Berdly enough for actually knowing Kris's behaviors after all this time knowing them. Y'all forget HE'S the one who's known and interacted with the true current Kris the most than Noelle (nostalgic for the past, strained bond), Susie (past bully/victim history, current SOUL involvement), OR Ralsei (most knowledge is prophecy based/cryptic). Therefore, he’s one of the few who can read through their antics.
Berdly's a little dumb but not THAT dumb okay.
Weird Route: Hope And Longing
(↑ Chapter 3 S-Rank end of Board 3; Weird Route VS Main Route ↑)
I'm bringing this dialogue up because I think it adds another layer to the conversation. The choice to not change the Ralsei dialogue about Berdly in Weird Route but actively changing it HERE is strange. This is where the tone ambiguity that I pointed out earlier starts to become interesting because it coullllld confirm it's correct to frame it as positive.
It's FOUL sure because he's comatose, but almost hopeful and longing from Kris's POV?? The insistence suddenly makes sense here. Instead of going to the festival, engaging further with Noelle, and potentially causing more harm, we'll stay with Berdly at the hospital, potentially aborting the Weird Route at that point and letting Suselle play out similar to what's being set up on Main Route...just my two cents there. Kris would love nothing more but to put an end to the tormenting of the route, remember? Everything about their SOUL-less actions is them doing damage control, so this choice could be a moment of relief?
If the dialogue isn't changed, doesn't an offended and silly "Berdly? BERDLY?? BERDLY??!?" clash with WR's established grim and serious tone?? I mean c'mon, this is the route where Kris's care towards him is the most blatant and in-your-face. They have an undescribed negative reaction to Susie's joke in the picture above. There's the Jackenstein flavor text that implies they're thinking of him a bit more with tragic undertones (rotting apples, withering memories). They took him to the hospital and unpromptedly tried to nurse him to health when we take them to visit him later. They are persistent with Noelle that "Berdly will get better" to where I don't even know if they're trying to comfort her more or themself about his condition. Why would the Ralsei conversation suddenly change into disbelief and disgust in WR?? It doesn't make sense, nor does it hold up with the popular negative take.
What fuels this idea even more is that choosing Noelle on WR DOES make Ralsei react differently. Instead of encouraging them to hang out, he's despondent, saying going with her would not be a good idea. Kris isn't happy that we're pushing them to hurt her more, of course they'd happily take hanging out with Berdly instead in this scenario. "Berdly. BERDLY. BERDLY. (Please.)"
(The bird noises thing is very cute btw, more of Kris teasing/imitating him even when apart. Even Susie is weirded out. I love them sm)
Kris Plays It Safe and Wins Big. Wow.
OKAY FINALLY. As a huge kerdly-head, my favorite option is actually pranking him lol. It was actually my choice in my first playthrough! I just think this is the funniest portrayal of their banter-filled dynamic and threw me so off-guard with the entire interaction...because wdym Kerdly canon. Unfortunately, I do have wayyyy less to say about it; most of it would be me repeating my previous points. It’s also a much shorter response and I feel it's kinda self-explanatory.
The one thing I find very funny about choosing this option to “spare” Kris a festival date with Berdly, is that this option STILL ends up being kerdly-pilled. Truly, the illusion of choice.
The first thing to point out is how absolutely agitated he is with them here. It makes me think that Kris put their all into singing the song, maybe tossed in some swears, or sung it obnoxiously, who knows. Yet again, this is an example of Berdly reacting to Kris joking with him, claiming they’re “taunting” him even. His persona falters again as he falls for their bait. THIS is the reaction I would have expected for “Go with Berdly,” had Kris asked him out in a jokey manner. But they weren’t joking…and he was confused by this.
Berdly gets offended that Kris had the audacity to listen to his ramblings before being prompted with a date invite, and I think that’s interesting. We don’t get to hear a lot of Berdly when he thinks he’s by himself, and a lot of the rant was him trying to justify why Susie and Noelle had rejected him. Not only that, he basically admits how he’s also playing along with having “feelings” because he wants to throw up at the idea that Susie has “gone yandere” for him. Lol.
He’s offended that his so-called rival just overheard how he really feels about Susie and Noelle, stripping one layer away from his facade that he's worked so hard to build up. That's a MASSIVE slip up from him, and “taunting” could be him thinking Kris will use this against him? Maybe? Again, the strained aspect of their relationship shows as he puts Kris in an antagonistic light here. Not like they would do anything to intentionally harm their friends though, and put his thoughts on blast. Does he know this though? Does he know they care? Probably not...for now.
Afterwards, he tries to pull himself together and acts boastful because even though his actual feelings towards Susie and Noelle were just exposed, he’s still convinced the girls are falling for HIM. He’s confident he will also end up wooing Kris just like all of his other very very real suitors.
It would be incredibly funny if in reality Kris already fell for him a while ago, the first and only domino if you will, and he's just never picked up on this fact because of his platonic v romantic misunderstandings. He probably thinks he's oh so smart using a domino comparison that he's ALREADY incorrect on. Not to mention, Kris's affection would be anything BUT typical, so reading romantic advances from them would be quite puzzling on his end I think.
BTW, he does NOT BRING UP A COMPETITION HERE. He quite literally made that shit up to cover up his flustered reaction in option 1. It’s more like he takes it as HIS challenge that KRIS WILL FALL FOR HIM. The “competition” aspect is sorta flipped?? (Imagine Berdly trying hard to woo Kris using the most tropey things he's learned from all his VN's. And IT WORKS.)
Also Berdly is absolutely flirting with them here. "You're next," is a fire pick up line. And Kris is basically flirting with HIM in the first option based on his reaction. They're flirting with each other. And dancing around it instead of just accepting the date. I'M GOING TO BE SICK!!!!!!!!
-SO IN CONCLUSION-
"Berdly. BERDLY. BERDLY."
Kris thinks of Berdly as an alternate festival companion. Gay.
Ralsei is STUNNED into silence and judges their tastes.
Kris becomes insistent that their taste is not that bad okay.
Ralsei wishes them luck with their ugly ass (potential) boyfriend
WR: Kris could be insistent and RELIEVED they'll be spending their time with him instead of continuing the Noelle Torment™
"Go with Berdly"
Kris flusters Berdly by being genuine and forward...or flirting-
Berdly is in denial and basically playing hard to get by making it a competition
Berdly doesn't reject them and wishes them luck. This is GAY.
"Sing the Wrong Number Song"
Kris pranks tf out of Berdly and he rages; wins "fell for it again" award
Berdly claims he's got game and potential suitors (this is being fact checked)
Berdly claims Kris WILL fall for his charm and drops banger pick up line
Fact check says Berdly might have game AND a suitor
Berdly cannot understand actual romance for SHIT and Kris is struggling to get it through his thick skull that they're down to go on a festival date. It's totally fine dude. Berdly plays hard to get. Or thinks Kris wants to play hard to get. They should just kiss.
The conclusion is gay people can never simply ask each other out normally.
gillion is stupid. like. he's got low intelligence. he's slow to pick up on things, he takes a while to understand new concepts, he doesn't think things through and on the rare occasions he does he just doesn't manage to grasp all the different possible outcomes.
yes he's got high emotional intelligence, yes he's good with words, yes he grew up in a different environment and is unfamiliar with the one he's in currently, but he is still a little stupid.
and that's important because it's part of the reason gillion feels so guilty, so anxious about being the chosen one, about trying his best to be a protector and still getting it wrong. he's a bad student, and he makes bad decisions, he's just not as smart as jay or chip. he gets them into danger at least as often as he gets them out of it, and he hates it. he wants to be strong and capable and smart, so that he can keep his family safe as best he can, so that he can be the perfect chosen one, but he just isn't! and that's so important to who he is as a person and why he does what he does.
yes! exactly! whether he's "just" stupid or there's more to it, fact is the feeling of overwhelming frustration at yourself for just not being able to 'get it', the fear of failure baked into your very being because you should be able to do this, you're the fucking chosen one for fucks sake, but over and over you make the same mistakes and over and over you're scolded for being subpar, the deep seated self loathing because eventually the repeated feedback that you're just overall worse at life than everyone else gets to you, they're all the same. and it's such a central theme for gillion and trying to plead that the riptide captains are all equally smart in their own ways completely erases that
