hearing voices

23 | they | 🇮🇹🇺🇸 psychotic depressive

[from-the-lighthouse]

all my posting is schizo posting

[from-the-lighthouse]

i somewhat recently finished reading The Great Pretender by Susannah Cahalan— a bit of a tough read depending on where you’re at in your psychosis healing, but super interesting and well written. 10/10 recommend

here’s the description from her website:

“For centuries, doctors have struggled to define mental illness--how do you diagnose it, how do you treat it, how do you even know what it is? In search of an answer, in the 1970s a Stanford psychologist named David Rosenhan and seven other people--sane, normal, well-adjusted members of society--went undercover into asylums around America to test the legitimacy of psychiatry's labels. Forced to remain inside until they'd "proven" themselves sane, all eight emerged with alarming diagnoses and even more troubling stories of their treatment. Rosenhan's watershed study broke open the field of psychiatry, closing down institutions and changing mental health diagnosis forever. But, as Cahalan's explosive new research shows, very little in this saga is exactly as it seems. What really happened behind those closed asylum doors, and what does it mean for our understanding of mental illness today?”

[from-the-lighthouse]

“I often feel that many of my aberrant pseudo-perceptions feel the way they do because I am actually perceiving them taking place in a parallel reality that only partially overlaps with this one.”

[from-the-lighthouse]

“There are two worlds. There is the unreal world, which is the world I am in and we are in. And then there is the real world. The only thing that is real in the unreal world is my own self. Everything else—buildings, trees, houses—is unreal. All other humans are extras. My body is part of the charade. There is a real world somewhere and from there someone or something is trying to control me by putting thoughts into my head or by creating … screaming voices inside my head.”

[from-the-lighthouse]

“It was at this point, I think, that my life truly began to operate as though it were being lived on two trains, their tracks side by side. On one track, the train held the things of the ‘real world’—my academic schedule and responsibilities, my books, my connection to my family. … On the other track: the increasingly confusing and even frightening inner workings of my mind. The struggle was to keep the trains parallel on their tracks, and not have them suddenly and violently collide with each other.”

[from-the-lighthouse]

my therapist asked me today, “and no one has ever thought you were bipolar?” and i said “no no,” and yet here i am, wide awake until 5 in the morning because i am so manic

the world is so unfair

[from-the-lighthouse]

you got liberal tears but i got liberal semen so which one of us is winning

[from-the-lighthouse]

shoutout to those people who film hikes and put them online, i’m too disabled for that shit and y’all are giving me hope and joy for the world

[from-the-lighthouse]

slowly adding my original art on account of things are harrddd and im hoping it will make me wanna make more

[from-the-lighthouse]

symptoms have been shockingly good this week, and is it because i have increased all my psych meds or am i just perfect and amazing and better than everyone

[from-the-lighthouse]

i have one of my best friends to thank for the harm reduction of election night. hope everyone was able to be as safe as possible, and if ever there was a time to be reminded how important my community is to me, it’s now.

[from-the-lighthouse]

relapsed on election day, after not having done a target behavior for two months. not surprised, like i knew it was gonna be a mentally ill night. def could have been worse, but i struggle to not feel guilty about it.

[from-the-lighthouse]

when we stumble, we get up 🤍

[from-the-lighthouse]

something is better than nothing 🤍

[from-the-lighthouse]

benvenuto a the end times

[from-the-lighthouse]

you have time 🤍

[from-the-lighthouse]

witches 🤝 psychosis patients

~believing in psychics~