FROM THE OTHER SIDE

From the other side of what? Firstly FBC. Otherwise known as f**king breast cancer. Secondly....of the world....at least right now. This is the story of my life as I attempt to squeeze the most out of every day. Breast cancer has taught me that regrets are for other people and that adventure is for me. I am a FBC survivor diagnosed in Sept 2010 and currently (as of April 2012), an Australian living in New York City baby. My adventures reach far and wide and while travel is one of my great devotions, there's plenty more to cover right here in NYC. My other great loves include my best friend (and dog) Chilli Sparkles, yoga, plant based eats, margharitas, running, music, the beach, reading, and of course my precious friends and family. In more recent news, I was diagnosed with a desmoid tumor in October 2014 (can you believe it?!). I have since thrown myself into a holistic wellness lifestyle, including a year of study at Integrative Nutrition (2015). As it turns out, I've never felt better - some might say I'm thriving....and they would be right. Chase your dreams people, you only get one go.

[fromtheothersideymm-blog]

After the post I wrote last week, I know I could do with one myself. Which got me thinking that given I am qualified in the area, it would be a good exercise to give you a demo using myself as the subject. Excuse me while I talk about myself in the 3rd person in this post! Below I'm going to give you some insight into the health coaching processs. From my POV a health coach offers support and accountability in a safe space. Here's what could happen in the first couple of sessions.

[fromtheothersideymm-blog]

Moving tips learned the hard way

I moved to my new neighborhood last weekend. There were/are certainly some mixed emotions involved. Moving meant leaving the building where Nicole and I shared an apartment. And saying goodbye to my treasured doormen whom I had grown to rely on. But, despite the heavy heart, I knew it was time. Time to lean into my dream of living in the West Village. To embrace a new experience. And I'm sure Nicole would be in full support. Along the way, I learned a few lessons, which I thought worthy of sharing in a post. This is more about the emotion than the physical stuff. And whilst its about moving house, the lessons here are really more about going through change - & could be applied elsewhere too.

Latest blog post - yvettemayer.com

[fromtheothersideymm-blog]

5 simple keys to happiness at work

Work (I mean career) has been on my mind a lot of late and has been finding its way into this blog, as a result. Which is kind of strange given that the sentiment is more about making sure you have a life filled with joy and working is not something that generally evokes that emotion.

Which has me thinking about why. Last week I was chatting to someone about this matter and I came out with this statement. "I'm enjoying my career right now, I'm doing work I'm proud of and getting a ton of positive reinforcement" and he responded with, "well yes that's how it's supposed to be".  And isn't that rather telling. It is just so damn simple.

Also last week, a guy I dated for a few months something like ten years ago got in touch to let me know he reads this blog. That it actually has had a significant impact on him, being something of an inspiration in making big life decisions. I couldn't have been happier to hear from him and those words were music to my ears.

For the most part I write about whatever is coming up for me and how I'm processing or dealing with it. I hope I help other people, in fact that's my sole motivation, I want to make a positive difference. My friends tell me they love my blog but I don't get a whole lot of positive reinforcement outside of their passing comments. Sometimes I wonder whether I should keep writing. I mean it feels good, but if I don't get feedback I'm not sure my "investment" is paying dividends.  So I beg of you, if you do get something out of this here blog please like my posts, comment or let me know in some other way. You see I need your positive reinforcement to stay motivated & inspired. In the same way I need this in my day job.

It's clear that there are some simple yet powerful basics here that can create huge shifts. Shifts that will influence how you can derive joy from what you are creating in this world (and in all work we are creating something). And I realized you don't even have to do something you love to find joy. Isn't that liberating?!

1.    Be productive, use the time you spend at/on your craft to do it well

2.    Take pride in it, remind yourself that what you are doing makes a difference (whether that's to the world at large or just the people you work with, your family, your clients - it all counts)

3.    Try to align your unique combination of skills with what you do each day

4.    Seek positive reinforcement, tell your peers, clients, boss's etc that positive feedback makes a big difference to your performance - BIG NOTE take the time to give this gift to those around you

5.    Have a big beautiful life outside of the work stuff, make sure to separate the two, take your vacation, create meaning in your relationships, have balance

I know this list is simple but I'm not saying it's easy. It is however achievable. A lot of it depends on you. If you're still not able to find some happy (work wise) when you take responsibility in this way perhaps it is time for change. So like I said in my last blog post stay open to that too.

Now go ahead and give me some of that positive reinforcement stuff please peeps! While you are at it, if there are any blogging topics you want me to think about for the future let me know. Your wish is my command. 

[fromtheothersideymm-blog]

Love the one you're with (love the one you're with!)

Love the One you're with. An oldie but a goodie and the sort of lyrics that can easily get lodged in your brain. Since coming up with the idea behind this post, it's been kind of hard to shake. Why? It's a catchy tune for sure. It's more than that though; it feels like the work of synchronicity. Do you have that experience? When whatever is on your mind will suddenly present itself to you in full song version. Not sure about you, but I kind of love it. It's like I'm the DJ of my life. Anyway, you might expect given the above, this post is about romantic love. It's not. Actually, I'm not good at multi tasking on the relationship front. In particular if I'm in love, I got to get over that stuff before I can feel love for someone else. But I can totally relate to the sentiment in other aspects of my life.

[fromtheothersideymm-blog]

I chose this picture for today's post because the topic is an area I HOPE to improve in. I'm (fairly) normal so, I'm going to guess you may well be the same. Last week was a pretty tough one for me. First there was the utter shock of returning to my regular life after the bliss of a full weeks yoga retreat in beautiful Uruguay. Then there was the utterly exhausting work schedule that followed. Essentially, I was on a plane every day between Sunday and Friday except one. On Friday my plane landed into LGA at 11pm. Then my weekend was spent at yoga teacher training, which ran for 6.5 hours a day both Saturday and Sunday. Not surprisingly, I didn't fit much else in. I love YTT, but boy was I tired.

[fromtheothersideymm-blog]

Monkeys in Paradise. That’s what they called it. These are some pictures of a four day acro retreat I went on in Puerto Rico in February 2015. The retreat was on the island of Vieques which was incredibly beautiful. We did a mix of yoga, acro yoga, a handstand clinic and some thai massage. The people we met were great and all up it was a fab experience. I still love regular more though. Just saying. As for Puerto Rico, it’s beautiful and so close to NYC. I would defintely return.

[fromtheothersideymm-blog]

Park City Utah, not too much snow but good times!

This was my second trip to Park City, the first was with Nicole (and Tommy, Lauren, Aimee and Pete) 2 years ago. It was surreal to be there again when so much has changed and definitely brought about a lot of reflection. In a good way mostly as I remembered how amazing the trip was for Nic and Tommy, such wondefuly close siblings and beautiful memories.

This time around I was with my New York posse and it was fun to ski for the first time with this lot. We were fully cogniscent of the less than amazing conditions but didn’t let that get in the way. We skiied every day (for four days) and gave the hot tub a very serious work out. 

I love the snow. The mountains. The crisp clean air. The endorphins. My exhausted muscles after a day skiing. And let’s not forget the Apres ski too!

[fromtheothersideymm-blog]

Presidents Day weekend in Austin.  

Here are some highlights from the recent Presidents Day long weekend in Austin, Texas. I’m big fan of Austin, although it was a kind of odd trip for me. We all entered the half marathon....then due to ongoing tendon issues in my left foot I couldn’t run. Instead, I just did lots of Yoga at an awesome studio called Wanderlust Austin. And thoroughly enjoyed the sunshine. It was all very fun and quite the adventure. Especially that time when we landed in a tattoo studio at 1am having Cori’s belly button pierced. 

[fromtheothersideymm-blog]

Plant power - a day in the life of my diet!

These days, my diet is all about cancer fighting and consists largely of plants (organic ones please). Rather than finding this hard, I've actually enjoyed the shift to food as fuel. 

On a typical day I start with a large green smoothie (leafy greens, ginger, lemon and frozen banana).  Then at the office I have steal cut oats, with grapes, chia seeds, crushed walnuts and goji berries - kind of a second breakfast!  Lunch is usually from my favorite take out in NYC, it's called The Little Beet and it is simply awesome. In keeping with the plant theme, my favorite order is roasted sweet potatos, south west style millet (millet, avocado, tomato, lime, garlic, onion, cillantro) and a broccoli/cauliflower mix. 

In the evenings I have been cooking for myself a lot. Sometimes it's a vegan chilli. Other times, a vegetable soup. Or my favorite, a quinoa bowl filled with fresh veg and herbs topped with avocado. 

Here are a few pics to give you an idea. I bet you don't feel sorry for me now :)

[fromtheothersideymm-blog]

Costa Rica, action packed good clean fun. I've been back for two weeks today, but it already feels like forever. What a special place, so many wonderful memories.

[fromtheothersideymm-blog]

It's show time in New York. Well if you consider snow to be a show then it is at least. My Doggy Chilli absolutely loves it and has been running around like a crazy person/dog. I've found it breathtakingly beautiful at times. And at other times not so cool. Like yesterday when the streets were deep with slushy grey stuff. 

But as ever, you have to focus on the good stuff and be grateful. Like that I totally LOVE the new coat I bought this year (DVF, Faye coat). And my Sorrel snow conquest carly boots are quite literally the best boots ever. Good thing too because boy do I ever need them right now.

In other news, last weekend my friend Lisa G came to town and stayed with me. We froze our butts off together. Although living in Chicago she's better at it than I am. She took me to bikram yoga. Please remind me I do not like bikram, my body temperature runs far too hot for that sort of malarky!  But I do like Lisa coming to visit.

[fromtheothersideymm-blog]

I’ve been trying to remember how long I’ve been practicing yoga and it’s not 100% clear. What I do know for sure is this. When I was around 27, I experienced debilitating anxiety.  In my quest to help myself through this period I took up ashtanga yoga. For many months, I attended class at least twice a week. I enjoyed it, but didn’t love the repetitive nature. So when feeling much better thanks and ready for  a long overseas adventure (back packing & working in London) I disappeared without a backward glance. Bye bye Sydney, and bye bye yoga.

Over the years that followed I attended the odd class. Yoga in Thailand or Bali when the opportunity presented itself. A few yoga classes that felt more like a stretch at the gym once back home. Then finally, in 2009 after hearing about a flourishing ‘power yoga’ studio close by, I once again became more committed. I practiced regularly, and thoroughly appreciated what it stimulated within me, both emotionally and physically. With a history in gymnastics as a child I also found I was a natural in terms of strength and flexibility. Whilst I didn't experience mastery, I enjoyed using some of my natural abilities, whilst acknowledging others that clearly needed work. Balance for one, mindfulness for another.

But again it didn’t last. In early 2010, in addition to my yoga practice I took up running. In fact I joined a running squad, with a goal of completing my first half marathon. I struggled to juggle both and gradually, the running became my priority. Running is a true love of mine, that I discovered and I know will stay important in my life as long as I am able to run. Despite letting my yoga studio membership lapse, this time I didn’t walk away completely. Rather I dabbled when I could, paying for casual classes when they worked into my schedule. Staying connected, feeling the benefits, without progressing in any real fashion.

Two years and a life time later (after a breast cancer diagnosis, surgeries and treatment) I set off on another overseas adventure. This time, I had my sites on moving my career to New York and a life full of optimizing all the things I love. Exploring, experiencing new cities, countries and culture. Keeping fit & healthy. Expanding my social life and building new post cancer bonds.

I joined both a triathlon squad and an amazing gym on arrival in NY. I quickly discovered that the triathlon squad was a blessing in connecting me to like minded souls who I now call my friends. As for the gym, it turned out, that not only could I use the treadmill and pool there, but the yoga classes were outstanding. Nothing at all like the gyms back home, the yoga had all the spiritual messages and technical nuances of a dedicated studio. It wasn't long before I was using my gym membership for yoga more often than anything else.

Since then I have become far more committed to my yoga practice. What started as a weekly session has grew to a 2 or 3 times a week affair. It also expanded to studio’s around the country (and beyond) on my travels. I even started buying yoga magazines as my thirst for more increased. Then in January 2015 - LAST WEEK - I travelled to a seven day yoga retreat in Costa Rica with two of my triathlon friends. 

I set off in anticipation of a relaxing, rejuvenating week. There was some fear of experiencing yoga overload. But I trusted myself that I was embarking on something special. 

Right now, I’m on the plane back to New York City and I’m here to tell you, I was not disappointed. And I want to tell you why.

Like any adventure or group holiday, it starts with the people. Spending a concentrated period with a group in a beautiful location and with a common purpose connects you strongly. Add in the fact that in general, those attracted to yoga have more than physicality in common and I think this is even more likely than on your average retreat. Yogi’s tend to be open minded, curious, compassionate, individual and kind. Who doesn’t want to be with those sorts of people?

The practice itself was never boring. We were blessed with two teachers with very complimentary styles. Matt, who is a blooming yogi celebrity with a rather enormous instagram following and an intense approach. And Jen, who is far softer yet equally as anatomically and technically strong who radiated serneity. If were were talking Yin and Yang, you know how this goes. They worked together to ensure our daily two sessions addressed the 5 chakras in the body, one by one, keeping the variety high and the experience evolutionary.  Typically morning practice was strong and hard, while afternoon was deep and slow. Yummy.

Three times over the course of the week, we met to talk about setting intentions. The self help aspect of the retreat was not overwhelming but it was absolutely essential to the experience. It also helped those bonds grow muscles, as we came to together and allowed ourselves to be authentic and at times vulnerable.

Personally, it was a rewarding week not always because of progress on the mat (although I made some and that made me very happy).  It was also a period of spending 3 or 4 hours a day in my own head while my body moved. My emotions were all over the place as I rode the waves of my moods. I came to realize, that the work I was doing was more important than any yoga pose. In fact I learned more about myself than 3 classes a week in between work and play could ever give me access to.

In terms of Costa Rica, I couldn’t have been happier with where this ‘work’ took place. We were in an isolated coastal gulf, called the Osa Peninsular. In between lush and delicious food from the freshest produce, there was so much more to do than lay by the pool or on the beach. Sure I did a bit of that too. But I also climbed tree’s, repelled down a waterfall, paddle boarded, learned to surf and zip lined through a primary forrest. Every night I fell in to bed absolutely exhausted in the best possible way.

I went to Costa Rica with two beautiful friends. I feel lucky to have these girls in my life and even more bonded to them than before the trip. Now I come home to New York, with many more beautiful friends. I have to say, I think this is travel at its absolute finest. So very grateful that lovey Cori instigated this and I had the fortitude to sign up.

When it comes to my yoga, I know that this trip has changed me for good. I am no longer a runner who does yoga on the side. I am both a runner and a yogi. My mat is as important to me as my trainers. And while my body may decide at some point that running is best as a fond memory, it will thank me for my yoga practice for the rest of my years. Come to think of it, so will my mind.

So tell me, what are you waiting for? 

[fromtheothersideymm-blog]

In celebration of a week concentrating on yoga, here is my attempt at various yoga poses. Some are far easier than others, but all are valuable.

Tomorrow I will be leaving NYC, headed for the Osa Peninsula in Costa Rica. Whilst there I will be undertaking the most yoga in a concentrated period of my life. Like 2 x 2 hour classes each for for 7 days. That's a whole lot of namaste!

I got to thinking about why I love yoga so much. For me, it's the mental and physical release. I don't necessarily feel it until the end of the class, but when I do, it's such an amazing feeling. Like clean energy in my veins.

I'm also going to be able to totally indulge in my integrative nutrition course material. It feels amazing to be concentrating on something I'm so interested in and passionate about. Next week, with more time on my hands, my biggest problem may well be over dosing in the stuff. 

2015 has started out extremely well for me. Turning my towards a future filled with purpose has given me a new zest for life. I can only imagine this is going to intensify over the next week. My advice - find your passion. Live it. Love it. Just be love.

[fromtheothersideymm-blog]

It's started. It being my nutrition studies. Integrative nutrition to be more precise. School opened on Monday for my 'class' of over 1,000 online students, and will go for a full year. In terms of course load it's said to be 5 to 7 hours per week. Which I'm confident is completely managable with some organization. I've decided to dedicate Monday and Tuesday evenings to study this year as a starting point. Hopefully I will get through over 2/3 of the material on these nights each week. Then on Saturday afternoons I will complete any outstanding work. 

To be fair, I am so excited about it all right now, I could easily spend my entire weekends focussed on it. But, I know I need balance and it's all so very new right now things on the motivation front will no doubt ebb and flow in time.

In the meantime, I really am enjoying the changes I've made to my diet and lifestyle since learning about Des. I feel vibrant, energetic and happy. Which is why when I go a bit off the rails it's so obvious how different I feel inside and out. And honestly, now that I am used to my improved diet it is not at all difficult. I mean sure there are moments and places that present challenges. But on a spiritual and emotional level it's easy. So I want to share and help others. It's that simple.

In more good news, this weekend I am off to Costa Rica for an 8 day yoga retreat.  We are staying at the Iguana Lodge and will be practicing yoga twice a day. I am really looking forward to this trip having never done anything like it before. I feel like the stars are aligning for this to be a life changing year for me. And it feels good.

[fromtheothersideymm-blog]

And so 2014 comes to an end. I have been largely vacant 'fromtheotherside' whilst I concentrated on my year of gratitude. Turns out I really only have the capacity for one blog in my life. Lesson learned!

If you've been following along as I navigated the year, reminding myself to be grateful each day, you will have witnessed a change in life direction. What started out as just another dreaded 'disease' awakened a love of health and nutrition in me. And increased my passion for helping others be well. To expand my future life possibilities, I've since taken the big step of enrolling in a year of Integrative Nutrition study. At the end of which I will hold a certificate in health coaching.

Do I want to be a health coach? I'm not sure. But I am sure I want to learn more. A lot more. And I know that my future is going to be influenced and shaped by this study. Right now, I'm trying to focus on the things that make me unique and combine them with the things that I am passionate about to imagine a brand new path. Watch this space.

Oh and you can expect I will be back in this space. Because after all, this is yet another chapter in my life on the other side.

In the meantime, if you want to know more about what I'm dreaming up, you can follow my brand new instagram under the name embracing.the.good.stuff.

[fromtheothersideymm-blog]

Waiting for NED.

Who is Ned? I hear you ask.  NED stands for No Evidence of Disease. He arrived today and I have never been more relieved. Two weeks ago, I found a large lump on my upper right thigh/hip/femur area, of about 8cm. It didn’t hurt and after googling these aspects combined, found that cancer was on the top of the list of likely suspects. But honestly, cancer is on every list so while I was a little worried I assumed that I was probably being paranoid and it was some sort of running injury. Next stop was the GP. She basically told me it was probably nothing to worry about but given my history it would be best to have an ultrasound and possibly an MRI. The next day I had the ultrasound, and the technician told me it was inconclusive and that they recommended I have X Rays and MRIs. Fear started to set in at this point, but I reminded myself that ‘it is, what it is, and no amount of worrying will change that’.   On Friday the 3rd of October I had the scans, with my lovely friend Emsy in the wings for support. Poor thing was also suffering herself after wisdom teeth surgery! We continued to tell each other with enormous force that it was going to turn out to be nothing. Then at 5.30pm that afternoon I got a terrifying phone call. It was my Doctor calling to tell me that according to the MRI results I (again) had cancer. The report read that it was most likely metastatic breast cancer, but if not it was a sarcoma. She suggested I get on the phone first thing Monday morning and book in with an Oncologist to get a biopsy done. I asked her if there was any chance it wasn’t cancer and she said yes but didn’t sound convincing. I called home, family mainly and a few friends.  My sister decided that she didn’t want me here in NY without my family going through this and booked a flight to NY. I told nobody else at this point as I really wanted to have all of the information before sharing this news. My excellent running buddy and great friend forced me to continue marathon training and it was hard but I did it. I ran a half marathon on the Sunday of that weekend called Grete’s Great Gallop and it was in partnership with MSKCC, a cancer fundraiser. I stood at the starting line crying. I really didn’t think I would be doing the marathon but I decided to try hard in the race while I still could run.  I gradually told a few more NY friends over the weekend as I did everything to distract myself and stay away from Google. Because I had already read enough to know that either way my prognosis was not good. My sis landed Sunday night. Emsy arrived 9am Monday and the 3 of us got busy on the phone. We managed to get into an orthopedic surgical oncologist at 12.45 that day which was incredible. They came with me and watched as my blood pressure hit 170/110.  I think the staff at the hospital were more worried about me having a stroke than having cancer. The oncologist was excellent with me. He assured me that he doesn’t trust the radiologists diagnosis and that he would need to both review the MRI scans (not just the diagnosis) and do a biopsy. He also calmed me down somewhat by saying that the chances of metastatic cancer from breast to soft tissue is minuscule, it was more likely to be a sarcoma and that until he had seen the ultrasounds and MRI scans and performed a biopsy that there was still a chance of it being benign. On Tuesday afternoon, he performed the biopsy (even though he doesn’t usually see patients that day), during which he said that it was very hard and fibrous but that neither meant anything outcome wise. He told me that having seen the MRI scans he was still not 100% convinced of cancer but that we would need to take one step at a time and see what the biopsy revealed. He was worried about the size, but still not convinced. On Wed and Thu, Bron and I tried to not think about the results as much as possible and walked the streets of NY, went to Aire Baths, checked out Brooklyn etc for like 12 hours a day. The retail therapy required during this period was definitely helpful for the state of NYs economy.  Late Thursday, whilst having a pedicure in Brooklyn, I had a call from the Oncologists nurse.  She said she was calling to update me and that the news was good so far. Initial pathology report shows no sign of malignancy or metastasis. There was still further analysis pending but this was incredibly encouraging. We made an appointment for this morning at 9.30am assuming all of the results would be in. Friday was a good day, we really chose optimism as the only way to proceed. But I was still hopeful for a call confirming the results and when it didn’t come I knew I couldn’t really relax just yet. Nevertheless, we continued with a very busy schedule to distract us over the weekend. Actually my sister thinks life in NY is just like bootcamp after the amount of gym, swim and yoga visits I’ve insisted on.  And the green juice. And the sober October (which I decided to break on Friday night assuming the pending results would be good!).  I ran 18 miles on Sunday (13 of which were in another half marathon race) and felt incredible like I am very ready for the marathon. Then we treated ourselves to cocktails at the Standard and dinner at the Waverley Inn last night, where we got to hang with Keanu Reeves (not really but he was there). This morning I got the best voice mail of my life to date. It was the nurse calling to confirm that the tumor is benign. NED arrived. We then headed to the Doctors to get the full detail of what is growing in my leg.  What I do have is something rare called fibromatosis (also known as a Desmoid Tumor). I will need surgery and possibly some mild chemotherapy and radiation. It’s local but aggressive. So it can’t kill me but it will keep growing and causing problems (and possibly recur down the track). In an older less active patient they would simply do a wide margin radical removal (think bigger than tennis ball size). But given how young and active I am they may do treatments aimed at shrinking the tumor before they do the surgery. I will continue to hang out at oncology wards for some time yet but I can cope with that. But for now, it’s 20 days until the Marathon. We’ll figure out the rest after that. If you haven’t already, please do sponsor me and help us move toward a world without cancer (and desmoid tumors too).  One click here and you can sponsor away!

[fromtheothersideymm-blog]

My first visit to the Napa Valley

Did you know that Napa is only like an hours drive from San Francisco? When I recently needed to visit SF for work, research revealed this would be a perfect opportunity to add on a weekend of exploring wine country. I have a lovely friend (Elyse) who moved from NY to SF earlier this year and happily she said yes to joining me. We had such a brilliant time. It's so pretty and between running through vineyards, tasting beautiful wines and enjoying sensational food I literally fell in love with the place. Would I go back? RESOUNDING YES! Actually mum is coming to visit me again later this year and has requested visiting the region...so I suspect I will be getting there again sooner rather than later. Which suits me just fine.

For the record, we stayed in Napa town and used airbnb. We found a super cute house with a host on hand who happened to be a tour consultant as well. He was fantastic, really accomodating and the house was perfect. From there we drove to Yountsville and St Helena for lunch (Bouchon - amazing) and tastings. My only small complaint is my balloon ride was cancelled due to weather issues. But that's OK, it will be an awesome thing to do with mum me thinks!