bastard

Blog for my personal hatred.

[ftmeaningless]

If I don’t follow you back it’s because my main account is inactive and is from when i was a femalebrained “soft girl uwu” 16 year old but I have a lot of porn saved there so I keep it as an archive

[armoredprincess]

I wish souls were real so I could rape them

[pnerlogic]

it's so fun when you're born with an already mentally debilitating condition and then 80%+ of the population also fucking hates you for it

[neurologicallyfaultytransmedtry2]

and then self diagnosed audhd xe xir it catself femboy catboy nonbinary lesboy Kai complains about how you want your condition to be taken seriously, and that you don't support pupgender afab transwoman nonbinary transmasc feminine ftms

[ftmeaningless]

There’s a 50% chance a dear non binary lesbian friend of mine is a repressed trans man but she’s living in a rural place and she thinks to be a man is inherently disgusting so I fear I cannot save her right now

[ftmeaningless]

Going back to this, I think forcemascing could not help because she was forcemasced as a child. Although I think it could be exposure therapy and it would help her a lot, I don’t know how to bring up the topic because 2 years ago I was exactly in her place. I will try to help her anyway

[ftmeaningless]

I feel very conflicted for my interest in yuri and considering myself a himedanshi. I know I could never live life happily as a butch lesbian, I cannot stomach the idea of calling myself one anymore. If I truly don’t have any other choice and I was forced to detrans I could try, but realistically I need to see a physical change, I cannot look at my body anymore. Yet, when I see lesbian media I feel…yearning? I just feel more comfortable than yaoi, maybe because I subconsciously see myself as the bottom in yaoi and I feel disgusting because a part of me is haunted by the idea of being forced to be with a man and to be the woman of the relationship. I just prefer to look at women, but I also feel too guilty and disgusting jerking off to lesbian porn, yet I just prefer to see lesbian narratives as a whole. Most of my yearning and desires are in st4t but still, my love for women prevails.

[spirulin4]

why do men hate going to the doctor so much

[cyber-junkyard]

we yearn for just crawling into a dark place and dying alone like a dog

[spirulin4]

why don't more of you do it then

[soup-mother]

It's a bit strange to see people focus on not calling people narcissists because it's rude to people with NPD as if Narcissistic Personality Disorder is not the most obvious case of a "shitty bad person disorder" diagnosis ever. Personality disorder diagnoses are a punitive thing, not a reflection of some innate truth we all need to be nice about.

I actually think it sucks that there's an official diagnosis of "self centred asshole" and maybe we shouldn't be respecting that as a serious thing. Like obviously don't be rude to people anyway but you don't need to say that in a way that reifies shitty bad person disorder as a real thing.

[soup-mother]

"Don't use Narcissist as a negative thing, that's a real and severe mental health condition that real people suffer from!" is not the sympathetic win u think it is. You're boxing at shadows here, barking up the wrong tree as it were.

Psychiatric diagnoses are clusters of pathologised behaviours, you don't "have" something, you've been diagnosed with it. It's ultimately disconnected from your actual experiences and body. A doctor decided they didn't like your personality and slapped a billing label onto it.

Defending the label of "narcissist" as unique to people with NPD is just fucking insulting to people diagnosed with NPD. You're treating something they've been labelled that strips them of their agency as something true about them that needs to be respected. Personality disorders are probably one of the most blatant things in psychiatry as far as "wow this is made up bullshit to punish people" goes and yet it's the biggest hornets nest on the planet to try and talk about.

[djnusagi]

video games aren’t meant to be played with other people. video games are meant to be played alone in a dark room at night time while you work through weird feelings about your gender.

[ftmeaningless]

This is so fucking embarrassing but if anybody is willingly to post a Reddit post written by me on their account I’d be grateful because I have been permabanned from it and I kind of need urgently to vent to FTMvent.

[neilaglet]

[ftmeaningless]

Successfully succeeded in only putting passing masculine trans men on my Instagram fyp, I am free from the hefab ftfemboy curse

[ftmeaningless]

I fucking hate other trans men.

[spltlvlhous]

[ftmeaningless]

Of course OF COURSE I have to study and be forced to see happy trans men on the internet the day the internal bleeding starts again.

[ftmeaningless]

i think a lot of men would stop being misogynistic or have misogynistic thinking if they had no penis. it's insane what the lack of being able to penetrate makes you think of as a man.

[charlotttte-427]

Measurehead, but he's a really brainwormed trans guy instead of a Semenese Supremacist:

Measurehead -- "I WILL NEVER BE A REAL MAN. I HAVE MARKED AS MUCH WITH THIS PHRENOLOGICAL GRID ACROSS MY BODY. THIS SHOULD PROVE BEYOND ANY DOUBT THAT I AM A BASTARDISATION OF MASCULINITY."

He draws a firm finger over the many overlapping lines and colourful diagrams etched into his stomach, arms, and even head. The dizzying mosaics on his musculature are accompanied by an equally incoherent scrawl of calculations and annotations.

Visual Calculus [Hard: Failure] -- It's a whirlwind of nonsensical information: "Canthal Tilt", "WHR", "Prey Eyes"... You don't know what they mean or what they're meant to prove.

And then there's the grid itself. It's giving you eye strain just trying to look at it. Ugh.

Measurehead -- "AS YOU CAN SEE, I HAVE TURNED MY SKIN INTO A TESTAMENT TO THE INHERENT INFERIORITY OF MY BODY.

MANY NEVERPASSERS ARE POOR EXAMPLES OF THEIR CLAIM. MOST ARE MERELY DELUDED BDD PASSOIDS. I, HOWEVER, AM A TRUE NEVERPASSER.

I AM NEVER GONNA MAKE IT."

Physical Instrument [Trivial: Success] -- Never gonna make it?! This guy is built like a brick shithouse.

Empathy [Medium: Success] -- He's clearly suffering from some very deep-seated delusions about his body. Don't challenge them directly.

Half-Light [Challenging: Success] -- Neverpasser?! This guy is calling *himself* a neverpasser? He has no right!

Your blood pressure is soaring just thinking about a Gigapassoid like him stealing proper Poon valour like that.

You -- Wait, how do I know what those words mean?

Encyclopedia -- It's true, you do seem to have an instinctive understanding of these words AND, interestingly, how to use them, too. Digging up the rest of this esoteric dialect might prove helpful. You never know.

Thought Gained: Terminal Brainworms

[vodkanona]

Repblr makes me sad. I really do think most of you would be happier if you just did it. I understand it's hard, and I grew up in a really small town where people would be real nasty about it but it was still the right decision.

You are the youngest today that you will ever be for the rest of your life and you don't want to lose those years.