Don Wilmack, owner of Don Wilmack's Wacky House of Wares!
Portrait made by user Imitation Knife. Click image for link
Hi, I’m Don Wilmack, owner of Don Wilmack’s Wacky House of Wares! We got just about anything you could look for over here folks. We got ships, we got cars, we got priceless family heirlooms! You want soldiers? We got soldiers! You want weapons? We got weapons! What’s that? You want something more... abstract? Well we here at Don Wilmack’s Wacky House of Wares have got you covered! In our back room is where we keep the deluxe products.
Not good at sports? You’ll be able to fist fight a bear when you’re done with me! Got a troublesome personality trait holding you down? Good ‘ol Don can take that off your hands! Had a less than desirable childhood? Did your mom not really love you as much as you would have liked? Well Don Wilmack, owner of Don Wilmack’s Wacky House of Wares is about to be your best friend. We can pluck that trauma right out of your noggin and give you the childhood nurturing you deserve! Don't believe I can do all this? Just look at my face! My eyes were on the prize, so I sold them to buy this store! Just remember, here at Don Wilmack’s Wacky House of Wares we have one motto, "Why make a deal with the devil when you can make a deal with me?"
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