Ik I'm "mentally ill"

But this world is just too fucked up to live in // vent // 18

[fuckingdyingrn]

I want to see my wrists bleed until I can't see anymore

[fuckingdyingrn]

Tw :vent suicide depression don't read

I wanna die so badly. My two best friends are leaving my messages on seen, they're getting so annoyed by me at this point. One of them said that I was manipulative but idek how maybe i am. Ik that people don't like me much anymore and there's fuckall point in living in this shitty world anymore. Like why am I having to live? There's fuckall to do. I have no qualifications. No life. Now we're in quarentine and I've just been figuring out the best way to kms so my family won't be the ones to find me. I don't have the balls to jump but at this point idc. I'd rather od or something but the trouble is trying to find something to od on. Maybe if I shot an entire bottle of vodka I can do it, n if I'm found it can be see as an accident so I won't be put on any hold in hospital. I just wanna fucking kill myself or cut myself but nothing is sharp enough

[fuckingdyingrn]

I miss the

feeling

[fuckingdyingrn]

Pills

Lighters

Nicotine

Vodka

Blood

Scars

Numb

Fire

Fuck

[fuckingdyingrn]

Why

Am

I

Feeling

Nothing

[fuckingdyingrn]

My cat just scratched my face I'm happy bc at least I can fucking feel something

[fuckingdyingrn]

Idk who reported me, but thank you. Idk what's gonna happen from now on but I appreciate it ❤️

[fuckingdyingrn]

[fuckingdyingrn]

The most comforting thing to me is lying in bed and imagining myself as dead; as an inanimate object. Unable to annoy or hurt anyone. Unable to fuckup anymore. At least then people will see me

[fuckingdyingrn]

I'm scared to kill myself but I wanna die. I might just starve myself to death. At least then I'll look good in my coffin