Of Mice & Men

Jin. Fucking Awesome. Dazzling, Charming, Chaotic Redhead. Currently 28yrs. Located in Rebel State. Student. Gemini. Logician. Slytherin. this is mostly just a writing blog: features personal musings, rants, ideas, notes, and other crap. may also have intermittent postings of writing prompts, tips, advice, ideas, revising techniques, debates over grammar, and inspirational what-not. venture through the tags pages, if looking for something specific. about the writer: obsessed with the color green. also absolutely obsessed with tigers. and cats. tigers are freaking rad. still not sure what she's doing with her life, but learning to be okay with that. her cat is scared of hairdryers. tracks the tags: fuckingmice, jinconklin, awesomeconklin

[fuckingmice]

Pirates of the Bleeding Maiden: Firefly Posting Fun

Written for Blast and his Firefly fun-times giveaway; crossposted from the “Pirates of the Bleeding Maiden” 

(from the original group page posting): “Pirates! More specifically, any pirates who are also fans of Firefly!

I am a regular recipient of LootCrate and lately they have had a bi-monthly Firefly themed crate. LootCrate accidentally sent me two of this month's Firefly crate as opposed to just one.

So, that being said...anyone wishing to have this crate: 1) Go to the PotBM website. 2) Find me (Blast) and send me a wave on the cortex who your favorite Firefly character is and why. Give me some goooood reasons, shiny?

The pirate that can show me the most love for their favorite Firefly character will win this crate from me, absolutely free. I'll even pay for shipping.

I'll pick the winner over the weekend and ship the crate on Monday! If this helps sweeten the deal at all, this month's crate theme was...the hero of Canton himself, the man with the REAL hat, king of thrilling heroics, Jayne Cobb!” 

So, who’s my favorite Firefly character and why? Well, sizzling bacon pancakes and glazed doughnuts, that's a hell of a toughie.  After first reading over the ‘introductory rules of gameplay’ post, I found myself sitting back to think this question over in depth. It was still rather early this morning, and I had only had one mug of coffee by then such a travesty, so without actually realizing it I found I had already spent quite a long amount of time sitting on my porch weighing, considering, and deliberating the topic. Not only was I contemplating the variety of differences and similarities between the characters, but I was also meditating over which characters I have always favored more, which characters I have always been able to relate to more, which characters seemed to naturally fall lower of my list than the others, and so on.

Not that I am complaining, mind you, because it was honestly a fabulous way to start my day. And, of course, once the significant other had woken up, I had to get him involved, as well. (I mean, my cat is a brilliant asshole, but he can be quite sullen and uncooperative for most of our ‘discussions’.) Too bad Lubinh is more of a Doctor Who fan than a Firefly fan, though, because the initial conversation quickly turned into more of a debate between who’s the better ally for humanity against the Universe: The Doctor or Mal and his crew (Mal, obviously). I’m pretty sure I won that one, but that’s mainly because he called a technicality and took our remote control Tardis outside to play while it wasn’t raining. 😂  

My point here is mainly: Jesus christ, Firefly is a gloriously fantastic show and one of the reasons behind its’ greatness is the wide variety and supply of dynamic, complex, and compelling characters all throughout the storyline. My father has only watched a handful of the episodes (short attention span), but even with a limited knowledge of the franchise, he still absolute adores Mr. Universe. One of my nephews loves Simon, as well as the Blue Gloves (he’s weird - I know), while my other nephew loves Badger, Shepherd, and Jayne. So, yes, it’s the show’s fault I had such difficulty figuring this question out, really. 

In the end, I narrowed my final choice down to three:

Kaylee Frye

Zoe Washburn

Jayne Cobb

The first character I ever fell in love with was Kaylee.

Did you know her full name is actually Kaywinnet Lee? There’s no history or documentation of the name, its’ meaning, or its’ origin before Firefly, either. Which makes sense, considering its’ supposed to be a name from a future 500+ years from, but I just think that it’s such a uniquely pretty and delightful name that I geek out about it as much as I do over the character herself.

The main reason that Kaylee was my first love, and probably the most obvious reason at that, was that I could see so much of myself in her. 

Not only did her character have elements that I could relate to personally, but she also represents (what I can only describe as), “an improved version of myself”. She gives me something that I can strive towards and want to mature into one day. When I first started watching the show, I was just starting high school and mucking about in the realm of "pubescent self discovery and identity". So, discovering a character as relatable as Kaylee’s that was also inspiring and heartening had a tremendous effect on the directions I pushed my life towards. 

She was laid-back, friendly, and someone who knew how to appreciate whatever pleasures life provided at any moment. She was a fantastically creative, resourceful, and knowledgable mechanic and engineer; something I still aspire to be one day too. She wasn’t ashamed by herself, her body, or her zeal of life (like her inability to understand the mindset that women ‘shouldn’t like/enjoy/want sex as much as men’); nor was she embarrassed by anyone else’s. She’s not ‘ditzy’ and she is never, “just a pretty face”. She’s the type of person, and the kind of woman, that projects what I consider to be truly, “natural beauty”. Because there’s not much in the world that is more bewitching, mesmerizing, or beautiful as a genuinely wholesome sense of character and confidence of soul. I love Kaylee for all that she represents and for her overall organically unaffected purity of quality of spirit.

Kaylee's ability to always keep a bright and positive outlook on life, despite the worst of hardships and obstacles thrown in the way, was something I couldn’t help but be inspired by. While some may see Kaylee as a more “immature” or “childish” character because of her persistent optimism, I actually feel the opposite is true. The fact of the matter is that negative emotions and reactions are exhausting, which only adds more adversity to already despairing situations. Positivity, however, is energizing and can inspire enthusiasm, productivity, and a willingness to ‘keep moving forward’. Kaylee’s ability to realize the true power of attitude, and her propensity for directing the others’ outlooks towards a brighter perspective, shows a true maturity of character. Actually, I think this is one of the driving factors behind her falling almost seamlessly into the role as, “Heart of Serenity”. Not only did she literally keep the ship alive, moving and charging forward, she metaphorically kept the crew alive, moving, and charging forward as well. She kept the positivity flowing within them, like a metaphorical heart beating freshly oxygenated and energized blood through a body. How could anyone not find that inspiring?

Shortly after Kaylee, I fell in love with Zoe Washburne.  And I fell just as hard and fast for her as I did for Kaylee, with no time or effort at all. I think one of the things that drew me to Zoe’s character is that s reminded me so much of Xena (yes, the Warrior Princess), who I fell in love with somewhere around the 1st or 2nd grade. There's just something about the whole, "no holds barred type of ass-kicking authority with a penchant for leather" vibe and personality that gets me every time.

One of the explanations for Zoe being such a one-of-a-kind, bewitching, and enthralling character (that’s all too easy to fall in love with) is that she's not the type of personality or individual that can be so easily defined or caged by the possible limitations that are all too frequent and common with most "action heroine" tropes. Because bless Joss Whedon. For example: She has a "Lady of War" demeanor, (i.e.  female fighter who retains an air of inherent grace/reserve not usually associated with violence), which means her power doesn't lie in being a sex symbol. Even better, the "natural confidence of self" part of her demeanor also means that while her existence isn't completely reliant on her sexuality, she's still entirely capable and comfortable making her sensuality, passions, and/or desires known whenever she decides to do so. (Wash is a lucky man, I think. Snort.) She's also a "Determinator" type of personality, meaning that she's possesses a will of steel with finesse When it comes to protecting those she loves, taking care of business, standing up for what she believes in, and supporting those she has pledged allegiance to, she will absolutely never ever give up. Of course, this also means that she doesn't always understand or care about things like 'tact' or 'odds' and 'probability of success'.

While I fell in love with Kaylee because I could see so much of myself represented in her character, I fell in love with Zoe because I saw so much of what I admire, and what I wish I could be, in hers.

Also, side note, she has hair like mine. Never, not even once, did she slick it back with gel to try and tame or hide it. Despite that, she still managed to be a beautiful, feminine, and self-empowered majesty of leather finery who didn't give a fuck what others thought about it. That was a revelation for me at the time. Honestly, her character was one of the main launching points for me learning to love my hair (instead of hating how 'different' and 'unmanageable' it always was).

Then, I fell in love with Jayne Cobb. Because Jayne is exactly the type of person I always end up falling for, sometimes like a fool and sometimes with a stroke of luck. Because he's the classic "Bad Boy with a Sweet Side", or "Bastard with a Heart of Gold". (...) Basically, Jayne is an honestly blunt, crude, brutish type of character who still possesses common sense and crafty intelligence, while also exhibiting a sensitive side and "heart of gold". Yeah, I also have a major thing for assholes who, despite their occasional misogynistic tendencies and propensity for cruelty, are still capable of sentiment and emotional sensibility.

Of course, I still love so many, okay all of the other characters of the show. Because it is the characters of Firefly that make it such a wonderful experience to watch, read, or escape into. Bless Joss Whedon.

(other fave major characters) Malcom Reynolds, Mal Hoban Washburne, Wash Inara and Rain Shepherd Book

(other fave minor characters) Badger Mr. Universe/Lenore Saffron Monty Stitch Hessian? Nandi?

So, there you have it. 

My favorite character of Firefly is Kaylee Frye, because she represents so many elements that I value in myself now and projects a positive outlook towards the better self I can be one day. She’s my favorite, and also the first character I fell in love with, for she is the organic, untouched natural (beauty) that I love to (admire in nature) and her character is the true beating heart of Serenity (both literally and metaphorically). She’s the beacon of hope and the driving power or positivity, but she still projects a genuine type of presence with confidence and substance. She’s still “real”. She’s still fathomable. And, best of all, all that she inspires is entirely attainable.

Zoe Washburn is my second favorite character, because she represents so many of the elements that I admire, respect, and sometimes even envy, in women of power and with authority. Unlike with Kaylee’s character, I don’t see much of Zoe in myself. Also unlike Kaylee’s character, it’s not easy to envision myself ever embodying or manifesting many of the various facets of character  that make Zoe such a dynamic, powerful personality. Perhaps some of the love I feel for her character originates from an inner hope that one day I will be able to "be more like Zoe” when its needed of me, perhaps during times or adversity or when it’s necessary to protect those most important to me, such as my children or family. (...)

And, last but never the least, Jayne is my third favorite character of Firefly. I think the easiest way to explain why Jayne is such a favorite character for me is because he’s so closely similar to the type of individual I could fall in love with outside of fiction. Don’t get me wrong, if I was to encounter “real life” versions of Kaylee or Zoe, I’d be just as likely to fall head-over-heels for them as well. However, unlike with Kaylee and Zoe, I didn’t fall in love with Jayne because certain elements of his character either resonated, inspired, or somehow enlightened similar or lacking characteristics within myself. Rather, I fell in love with Jayne because he’s a type of character that, despite existing on a completely different spectrum than my own, is still one that I can understand, respect, and appreciate for its’ many varieties of purpose and entertainment. (...)

[fuckingmice]

Inspiration #02 - i.e. “The Girls, Part II” [ideas/thinking]: friendship, strangers, relationship, bonds, youth, rebellion, fashion, making a statement, worn weary soldiers, aftermath, time to reflect is time to nap, black and white

inspirational elements: characters, aesthetic, theme, plotline imagery

media(s): photo, photography, unknown source, black and white

source(s): unknown, old archived file

note(s): need to find source of original post

[fuckingmice]

Inspiration #01 - i.e. “The Girls” [ideas/thinking]: friendship, bonds, preparing for war, power of togetherness

inspirational elements: characters, aesthetic, theme

media(s): photo, photography, stock

source(s): unknown, old archived file 

[fuckingmice]

Brain Dump Post (05.06.16)

title: “Whatever I’m Angry About Feminism Again” originally recorded @ May 06, 2016, close to midnight. category/categories: scrapped social media post, deleted fb post, feminist rant (i.e. was going to be FB post, but then scrapped and dumped in notes) status: needs -major- editing/revising if going to be final product in future

“Sometimes I sit and think on the sheer amount of ridiculous fuckery existing today that's directed solely at women.

Not only is there ignorant, harassing, and controlling bullshit constantly being thrown at us from legal, regulatory, political, and religious sources; but there's also a crap ton of derogatory bullshit coming at us from the media, society as a whole, and other varying aspects of our country's general social ideology.

It's just a basic fact: from early childhood and continuing on into all of the mature, independent age ranges, the average US female citizen is under constant attack. We're under constant scrutiny, perpetually degraded, generally disregarded, and censored when it comes to our choices, livelihoods, roles/participation in society, and our basic elements of existence (i.e. how we think, how we communicate, our anatomies, our physical appearances, our beliefs/perceptions, the ways we present ourselves to society, etc). Of course, all of this hogwash isn't exclusive to our country. It's mind-boggling, not to mention absolutely maddening.

While we've made great strides in eliminating all of this bullshit, the fact that it's still such a predominant presence and issue in fucking 2016 is disgustingly infuriating. Came across this awesomely heartfelt talent and poetry about this topic just yesterday (and so far it has yet to fail to make me all kinds of emotional, A+ art). Then, being remind s you can see, it's obviously a topic that immediately incites all kinds of rage-stabby aggressive behavior out of me.

Can't be helped, I've never been good at keeping quiet or letting things go. Got no shame for my angry feminist game (✿◠‿◠)

Truly, I am forever grateful and proud that there has always been, and always will be, people that recognize the bullshit for what it is and actively work to fight against it.

So. This one's for all my sisters. ♥︎ ♥︎

(attached video source): “Melissa Newman-Evans - 9 Things I Would Like to Tell to Every Teenage Girl”

[fuckingmice]

Brain Dump Post (05.12.16)

title: “Idk, Random Research Idea” originally recorded @ May 12, 2016, late afternoon. category/categories: scrapped social media post, deleted fb post, feminist rant (i.e. was going to be FB post, but then scrapped and dumped in notes) status: needs -major- editing/revising if going to be final product in future

“Considering making a "closed" page (or whatever) where I post funny shit found on Tumblr (original posts), wait for that same shit to start popping up all over Facebook, and then compare the timelines. Follow up by doing the same with Twitter and Reddit. Maybe branch out into studying the effects and disbursement of quicksnap/side platforms, like Snapchat and Vine. If it stays interesting, maybe a more anthropological style of study between social and capitalist venues (LinkedIn, Google+, SlideShare etc).

I don't know why exactly, but I'm terribly curious about the patterns, timelines, differences/similarities, human behavior, language impressions, affecting factors (and etc, etc) of various internet material and the various platforms we seem to navigate the internet from; i.e. social media, networks, memes, viral videos, quickspans, forums, and so on. There's been few studies published on the subject and none that I've found so far go into any real depth. Even more disappointing, their methods of study and comparison were mostly shallow, trivial, based on impressions rather than facts, etc. I have a feeling all the actual studies are under lock and key in Marketing departments and so on.

Ugh. Where are all the decent scientists? Oh, right. Probably working on important things like medicine, disease, space, and robots. We need more unemployed, stoner, bored scientists. 

It's just something I've found myself think about whenever I've got the chance to "just muse" on shit; So much of our lives are spent on the internet and/or immersed in technology and technological devices, but the general overview seems to present a rather scary lack of "real" knowledge on any of it? I mean, I know there are people who have knowledge and experience concerning the intricacies of the whole "giant world of technology" and such, but it doesn't seem to be "common" knowledge. If that makes sense. Basically, unless I'm talking to CIS/MECT/etc professors and experts, most of the people I've come across in the Technology college areas of my school know squat. The ITAC Network Head Assistant didn't know about the cables where are internet comes from. I was joking about the sharks trying to eat our Internet and ended up having to explain how the whole thing actually works. Yeah. That was disconcerting.

Anyways, I don't know. This is probably just coming from an inner obsession to catalog and understand everything, maybe also a bit of inner geekynerdness, and most likely coming from all the sleep deprivation in my life. Still sounds like an interesting project, tho. I'll put it on the list to "delve into further later". 

That's all. Carry on.”

[fuckingmice]

[fuckingmice]

[fuckingmice]

OH HEY. IT’S A BLOG UPDATE.

yep. that’s right. an actual update. WHAT. (✿◠‿◠)

know what that means? it means that after years of this blog being “under construction” (until eventually it was just filed and forgotten in the “yet another project jin never got back to working on or even getting close to finishing” box),

the unthinkable has happened: this blog is back in action.

...but first things first.

HERE IS A GENERAL UPDATE ON SHIT THAT’S GOING ON WITH THIS BLOG RIGHT NOW. OKAY, THANKS.

i’m still updating, coding, editing, and doing such ‘working’ shit to the various pages and other elements of this blog. most of them should be finished by now (now is: sunday, afternoon, june 5th, 2016 ), but! just in case you find a broken link or a blank page (etc), please please please !! let me know !! srsly, i’ll love ya forever and ever. just drop a message in my ask box or send me an email and i’ll get around to fixing that up as soon as i get a change. thank you. you’re the best

questions? comments? anything you just want to say because you like to talk to people? please feel free to use any of the contact venues listed on my “contact” page or drop a message in my ask box. i’ll be checking in every other day or so to see what’s up and i’d love to chat, meet new people, and so on. so please feel free ~ ヽ(‘ ∇‘ )ノ

all of the most recent posts, from the past few months or so and etcetera, are on private setting right now or sitting in my drafts. the rest of the old nonsense crap, i just deleted. why? well, i don’t know. i guess i’m just not completely ready to go public yet. if you’re confused and/or offended by this, or if you were directly linked to this blog and/or a specific post on this blog, please see the list provided below for reasons as to why and etcetera. or just carry on with your usual business, ya’know, whatever works for you 

  REASONS WHY YOU MAY OR MAY NOT SEE ANY POSTS OR ACTUAL 'ACTION’ ON THIS BLOG YET:

i’m still making edits to the overall look/layout of this blog and i’m not ready for the final ‘choice’ quite yet, 

making changes to organization, order of posting, and/or tags,

i was an idiot, either bc of sleep deprivation or a mood swing or maybe i was high (who knows) and accidentally deleted shit (again), 

still too nervous to post any of my original creations and/or writing bc hey it’s personal shit and oh hey also bc i’ve seen and heard of thieving before and fuck that noise,

or maybe you’re reading this when all the “updating shit” and “bringing the project back to life” nonsense first happened/is happening, which means there simply isn’t anything to post yet (haha, oops)

[fuckingmice]

welcome to my writing blog

this blog is under construction for a bit because i'ma lazy asshole