KEEP YOUR SHITTY HUMAN TENDENCIES TO A MINIMUM.

KARKAT VANTAS, FOR CITTA. RANK CITIZEN. GIVEN A WOODEN SICKLE. HOUSED IN APARTMENT G-5. JOINED 5/14

[ranchuppi]

karkat thats a horrible reason to be friends with someone but ive heard worse

[keimunakata]

"Yeah I was also looking to form a party, albeit much quieter than you’ve been doing, but I guess your way has been more successful at this point."

He probably would have still gone with the troll even if he disagreed because Kei needed a party, but having an assured drop was nice. Because of course they’ll be able to kill this reaper, that was never a question. Such a loud guy trying to form a party obviously had to have some confidence in his abilities to go after it and some brains for not rushing in alone.

Kei was up to date with all his RPG language, since he often played such games when he wasn’t tending to gardens and instead of training to use any of his weapons. They were all electronic based, since any tabletop with Kei had the possibility of ending in a real life bloodbath. It certainly made sense to use it here with quests, NPCs, enemies, and such filling every corner of the current world.

"As for other people, there’s one guy I’d suggest. He’s a real all rounder with a stun, a slow, a shield, a pull, and a lock-on. He also is super armored to the point of a hundred foot drop not affecting him and he fights with a giant anchor. The only problem is he seemed to disappear a while ago and I while I think I heard him stomping around recently, I haven’t been able to confirm his presence or what abilities he’s retained."

[fuckinguseyourthinkpan-blog]

He was glad to see that the RPG terms weren't lost on the blue guy. "OKAY, SO IT'S SETTLED." He wasn't sure what he was expecting from his answer, but Nautilus's description definitely wouldn't be expected. "HOLY SHIT, HOW DO WE GET HIM IN HERE? HE SOUNDS PERFECT." He also sounds non-human, which is a bonus. 10/10, would invite again.

If there was anything Karkat excelled in, it was getting a party together and leading it. He might think he's a shitty leader deep down, but he wasn't all that bad in reality. Before they head out on the search for this anchor-man, he should probably introduce himself. "ANYWAY, I'M KARKAT. YOU?" Yeah, that'll do. Better to be simple and get it out of the way than make himself sound pretentious.

The mere fact that he was probably going to actually get a group together to down the boss was exciting; hopefully it wouldn't go nearly as wrong as the last boss he encountered (creating humanity and the potential apocalypse of three universes is pretty hardcore). "THE USUAL PARTY IS LIKE THREE TO FIVE, RIGHT? THREE SHOULD BE FINE, I THINK, ESPECIALLY WITH THE BIG GUY."

[keimunakata]

Kei had looked over the newer quests a bit earlier that day, and the reaper one had stood out to him the most. No searching the woods for a fountain of youth or a spooky man that may or may not be there, but a straight up fight. It can’t be any worse than facing a 5,000 year old being who could just ignore the fact that you are attacking him. Of course Kei was also smart enough to realized that the difficulty of the quest would make it hard to solo, so he was gonna wait until someone else wanted to go too.

Overhearing a loud voice wanting to attack the reaper somewhat off in the distance was a gift then, and Kei walked over to see who it was. Arriving near the source of the shout, Kei saw another one of the gray skinned trolls that occasionally pop out around the town. They tended to be violent, or at least energetic, from the two that he knew, so he assumed that’s who had been shouting.

"If you were the one shouting about attacking the reaper, I can help. With one condition of you letting me keep it’s scythe when we beat it."

[fuckinguseyourthinkpan-blog]

He wasn't sure of what to make of the human. ...It was a human. There wasn't much to look at. The ugly pale skin, the outlandish blue hair (none of the humans he knew had such an odd color)... Well, he'd have to settle for this guy. How bad could he be, right? Right.

"YEAH, I'M TRYING TO GET A PARTY- A GROUP. A GROUP TOGETHER TO KILL IT." He should probably refrain from using actual RPG terms, now that he thought about it. The proposition was a bit daunting, since the only suitable reward from the monster was probably going to be its scythe. Maybe it had gold on it or something. It was a boss fight, so there was bound to be 'phat lewtz', or so the RPG terms went. "YEAH, FINE, WHATEVER. IT'LL PROBABLY DROP SOMETHING ELSE BESIDES THE SCYTHE ANYWAY, KNOWING HOW LAME DROP RATES ARE." Talking like a video gamer was inevitable, there was no way he could talk around it.

In reality, it was probably crazy to assume that its only visible weapon wouldn't be able to be used, but who knew? This was a world constantly monitored and controlled by shitty scientific idiots in white coats. Anything was possible.

"DO YOU HAVE ANYBODY ELSE IN MIND TO RECRUIT FOR THE MISSION?"

[arachno-phile]

You honestly don’t care about the change of scenery. It’s just like some of those RPGs you’ve played - humans seem especially fond of this type of stuff - and you’ve already beaten all of them Aaaaaaaall of them. All the quests, all the levels. Why should you even bother with this place’s challenges? After all, you’ve already been set aside as special. A grey hand closes around the hilt of a slender knife, one of eight gifts offered to you by her. Dieu. She fascinates you. Her power, her cool demeanor… 

You’re snapped out of your reverie by a loud and familiar voice. Well, you weren’t interested in bothering with any of the challenges… until now. It should be amusing to watch a certain twerp try to take on some monstrous creature. 

VRISKA: Heeeeeeeey, Karkat! 

VRISKA: Wanna m8ke a game out of it? :::;) 

Ah, yes, you do love playing games. 

[bliindary]

[This sucks. No, it’s much worse then when you were blind, this was a serious matter you are dealing with now. The fact that everything you care and love is taken away from you, finding other activities to pass the time was a challenge. And you were not doing good whatsoever. This wasn’t fair. Not at all. And when you decided to do something about it, a voice catches your attention. It was, without a doubt, Karkat’s voice. Boy were you glad to hear from him.Seriously, if he tried, he would be able to shout the voices out of his head. Haha. As if that’s possible.]

[You walk over to see what the fuss is about until Vriska catches your attention. Oh. Hell. No.]

SOLLUX: ii really am a mage of doom. ii mean, what are the odd2 of having yo out here anyway2, vrii2ka.

[You roll your eyes and look over at Karkat.]

SOLLUX: well you don’t need a phone two text me when you need 2omethiing, 2hiit.

[fuckinguseyourthinkpan-blog]

He was glad to see his old friend, and... not so much in response to the spider-wannabe. What a reunion this was, now they're just missing like six other trolls and then eight humans, and an additional twelve trolls from an alternate universe. (Maybe even ghost trolls to fill in some gaps.)

He was glad that he (sort of) established himself as the leader, once again. (Not that he planned on it being otherwise.) He stared Vriska down, clenching his jaw. A game. Really? She wanted to make this a game? "WHAT KIND OF SHITTY GAME DO YOU HAVE IN MIND????????"

Sollux was being pessimistic as ever, which didn't really surprise him, but still... "RISE AND SHINE, I'M THE CLUCKBEAST THAT CROWS AT DAWN AND WAKES YOU THE FUCK UP."

[vvioletkind-blog]

[ You make your way over to Karkat’s apartment, feeling a strange, light giddiness building up in the middle of your chest. He missed you too. You hoped he would say that, but the confirmation of it just sent a pleasant jangle up and down your spine. He missed you. You can hardly believe your dumb luck. ]

[ When Karkat opens the door, you make a vain effort at looking cool and disaffected, then fail miserably altogether. You’ve always said, haven’t you, that Karkat is among the few people you know who you really are? So what’s the point of pretense? ]

[ Instead, you opt for shutting the door behind you and ducking down to plant a kiss on the top of his head, hugging him tight to your chest. He’s warm and he smells faintly spicy. As always. ]

ERIDAN: wwell fuck ERIDAN: i wwas goin to suggest wwe go out an do somethin together but ERIDAN: im not sure im wwillin to share you wwith the public right noww kar

[fuckinguseyourthinkpan-blog]

He was nervous about what was to come. It'd been a while since they'd seen each other, and last time was... Well. That was a time not to think about, otherwise it'd probably happen again. (He wasn't sure what to think about what happened that night, other than the sheets took forever to clean. Purple genetic material doesn't fit well on bedsheets.)

When he arrived, he tried not to fall over in a dash for the door. In fact, it was hard not to dash at all. He grew extremely tense, walking stiff-legged to the door to answer it, He relaxed in the highblood's embrace, hugging him in return. "SHARE ME WITH THE PUBLIC?" He made it sound like he was something worthy of being kept away from sight, like a treasure of something. There was no way that could be right. "IT'S NOT LIKE I'M SOME KIND OF SECRET TO BE KEPT."

He was glad that Eridan felt that way, though. It surprised him, and he found his cheeks feeling a bit warmer than they usually were.

[bliindary]

justicescales said: DONT B3 4 B4BY

[bliindary]

SOLLUX: you 2top beiing annoyiing. ii hate thii2.

[fuckinguseyourthinkpan-blog]

"SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOU FUCKSHITS, BUT I'M LOOKING FOR CREW TO HACK AND SLASH THAT REAPER ASSHOLE THING, AND -"

Okay, so he was mostly asking them because they were part of his team before, but -

"- YOU GUYS COULD PROBABLY HELP ME OUT. A LOT."

[vvioletkind-blog]

[ You’ve been…lonely, lately. You took some time off to think about your time with Roxy, managed to make your peace with the breakup (read as: break a bunch of other people’s shit), and came back hoping to fuck that Terezi hadn’t dumped you. She hadn’t, thankfully, but…until this moment you were extremely nervous about Karkat. ]

[ What did Karkat really think about you? What even were you to each other? You were pretty sure Karkat and Terezi would get together — another reason for your sudden departure — but now that you’re back, you don’t think that’s the case. You…kind of hope it isn’t. You hate yourself for this, but you were sort of hoping against this pairing from the start. ]

[ You still don’t really know what you feel about Karkat, but you’re pretty sure it’s not black. You’re just really afraid he’s singing a different tune. ]

[ But as you flip open your phone for the first time in weeks, and see Karkat’s ridiculous message, you actually laugh out loud. ]

[ He…this is a human term of endearment, isn’t it? This means…No, don’t get ahead of yourself. You roll over and hastily text him back. ]

[txt]: oh my god kar you are upright ridiculous [txt]: i havve to say though im fuckin tickled 

[ You pause. ]

[txt]: i miss you  [txt]: can i come ovver

[fuckinguseyourthinkpan-blog]

Karkat hadn't done much without Eridan. He and Terezi's progress was very slow, though it seemed that he was defensive about her and a certain asshole touching her, and she was affectionate, to say the least. (Though, when hadn't she been? She always did the weird motion where she'd sniff his neck, just to bother him or piss him off. Both were likely to occur.)

He didn't smile often, but reading his reply caused such an event to transpire on his features. Of course he could come over, it's not like he'd say no. (He was really surprised that human word actually worked, even though he seemed to... laugh at it?)

[TEXT]: YEAH.

That was a shitty response. He could do better than that.

[TEXT]: I MISSED YOU TOO, TO BE HONEST.

[TEXT]: IT'D BE GREAT IF YOU CAME OVER.

[TEXT]: (:B

Yes, the customary emoticon that he hardly ever used, with the letter B signifying his horns. Revolting, but this was all part of his plan to be... adorable. Karkitty had arrived. Beware, those easily susceptible to the Alternian capable of downplaying his eternal hatred.

[fuckinguseyourthinkpan-blog]

Search: _______________

He stared at the bar on his laptop (which was significantly less purple and crab-themed than he liked, since it was provided for him by the scientists), and hesitantly typed a few keywords into it.

Search: ENDEARING TERMS TO CALL ONE'S QUADRANTMATE

That resulted in a bunch of nonsensical garbage that picked up on a few of the words he'd typed in, but overall yielded nothing useful. Maybe he needed to reword it a little.

Search: ENDEARING TERMS TO CALL ONE'S FISHFUCK SIGNIFICANT OTHER

That came up a little bit better, but still...

He stared at the screen for a moment, scrolling and clicking the occasional link that seemed like it'd lead somewhere. After searching for some time, he found what seemed optimal. It was frustratingly simple, three letters in one slang word that didn't seem like it should be a word, but there it was. He took a sigh, reached for his phone, and texted Eridan.

TO: FISHFUCK

FROM: KARKAT

[TEXT]: HEY BAE.

[fuckinguseyourthinkpan-blog]

QUEST NAME: The fires of hell themselves DATE LISTED: 7/27 QUEST LEVEL: ★★★★ REWARD: None

The following quest has been issued by some of those unfortunate enough to be living in Sector 003. The monsters in the area seem to be moving in an organized manner, attacking the residents of the apartment complex and attempting to force their way in. Rumor suggests that one creature is leading them: a twenty foot reaper with a gigantic scythe, clothed in a concealing cloak. Take down this menace!

This was the shit. Yes. This is exactly what he needed - the medieval times were boring as hell, as if living in the 'original' Hive City wasn't dreadful enough. Pursuing some kind of monstrosity that could kill shit tons of people in one swoop sounding like the kind of thing that needed doing. He knew he wasn't some hero able to take it on single-handedly, especially not with just his sickle (THANK GOD IT WASN'T WOODEN ANYMORE), so it came down to... this.

In the usual lame and old-fashioned RPG style, he started wandering around the city of huts and hovels, trying to act somewhat natural among the rest of the cittazens. "SO WHO'S UP FOR FUCKING THAT REAPER'S SHIT UP?" He didn't speak to anyone in particular, but yeah. He spoke pretty loud, so it wasn't likely that someone didn't hear him.

[fuckinguseyourthinkpan-blog]

medieval times?

wooden items turn to steel?

so you mean

the sickle isn't useless anymore?

[fuckinguseyourthinkpan-blog]

justicescales said: 1TS HOT

"WEREN'T YOU ALREADY DOING THIS BEFORE? I KNEW YOUR CAPE WAS BEING WEIRD."

[fuckinguseyourthinkpan-blog]

No... No. No no no.

"WHAT. THE. FUCK. ARE YOU DOING."

[fuckinguseyourthinkpan-blog]

justicescales said: OH H1 K4RK4T [Don’t ask why she’s almost completely covered by her dragon cape kk]

this bitch wearin her cape fuckin crooked as hell what the fuck she think she doin get out tool

"HELLO."

[fuckinguseyourthinkpan-blog]

These bitches talkin' shit again.

[fuckinguseyourthinkpan-blog]

It's been a while since he's poked around.

"ANYTHING NEW ABOUT THIS SHITTY CITY?"

Hey, that rhymed. Nice.

[fuckinguseyourthinkpan-blog]

Maybe everyone else is just too quiet.

He can't help that he's loud. Geez, people.

[fuckinguseyourthinkpan-blog]

[You touch the butt. You contributed. You are so done that you just want to put headphones and blast some music until it's over, but you contributed.]

Betrayal, by one of your own good friends.

"I’M GOING TO FUCK TEREZI’S DAY UP."