[ greasefanboy ]
You let him talk and that cold nothing takes it’s place back in the bottom of your stomach. You’ve been here before, crying alone and hoping someone would tell you to keep living. To tell you that you were worth missing. You threw out cries for help and nobody answered, because they knew that you would have ever found the guts to go through with it. No. That would be too easy. They couldn’t get that lucky. But now is different. You have the power to give him what nobody gave you. So even if everything is whirling, you pull him in and hold him tight enough for it to hurt and bury your head into that violet streak right between his horns. You know why you’re so in deep for him now. He mirrors every ache you’ve ever felt and no matter what, you want him to have it better than you ever did. You don’t want him to be scared or lonely or broken, even if you’re not the person to prevent it.
CA: please stop, eridan. evwen if you dont vwant to. CA: please dont do this shit anymore CA: i cant CA: i dont vwant you to get hurt i just CA: i vwant you to be okay. i CA: want to be with you and
You can’t. You’ll cry when you want to be strong enough for both of you.
You’re so happy and miserable all at once, and you think about Cronus’s precious, treasured humans and their lack of quadratic affections, so neatly divvied-up between what’s appropriate and what’s advised. You don’t understand how any of them could survive it, this swell and torrent of jumbled and blended feelings welling up from within you like a frigid tide. It aches and makes you giddy and lightheaded, and you wipe your eyes on the hem of your scarf before you put some distance between the two of you, giving yourself room to look into his eyes.
CA: youre an idiot yknow
You reach to touch his face, to run your thumb over the corner of his mouth, so like your own in every way.
CA: you want to be with me? CA: im yours already CA: i been yours since i was a wiggler cronus CA: even before i knew youd be more of
You blush. Emotional moment or not, what you’re about to say is so painfully corny, you can almost smell Karkat making some comment about how it sounds like something from one of his romcoms. Still, it needs to be said, He deserves to hear it.
CA: before i knew youd be more of a hero to me than dualscar could ever measure up to
CA: i get it now CA: your the real him CA: hes nothin but a copy CA: theres no him without you CA: not the other way around
CA: i wont go back to work there CA: if you still want me after what i done then id be stupid to keep doin it CA: ill find a job somewhere else CA: it was beneath me anyway
Your breath is shaky and you’re blushing and trembling and hoping to be kissed. Your fingertips find his throat and your bloodpusher hiccups. You’ve never been kissed before and he’s so close. So close, wanting you, wanting to be with you, to be yours --
CA: kiss me?
