There's not really anywhere else I can talk about this, and Tumblr seems appropriate given its history.
My best friend from my teenage and early adult life has died.
I am absolutely devastated and heartbroken.
I haven't stopped crying since I found out. My body feels like its in a constant state of panic. This is by-far the most intense grief I have ever felt.
We had been estranged for years after a fall-out. I missed her greatly and thought of her every day since. The thought that I will never see her again is beyond soul-crushing.
I genuinely loved her. We grew up together, and experienced so much beside one another.
She did not deserve to die. Not like this, and not so young. She went through so much in life and deserved to live happily into old age.
I feel like a big part of me is gone. I don't feel I can share these feelings with anyone because we were estranged, and that I will be seen to have no right to feel this way, but I do.
I know I'm going to be carrying this immense guilt, regret, and sadness with me for the rest of my life.
My thoughts are with her close family and friends.
Rest in peace, Leah.















