Fuck Yeah Retail Hell

Tails of life in retail and other service jobs. Expect adult language, angst, sarcasm and snark.

[aflamestillburning-deactivated2]

Please please please

I saw a post about “Please stop hitting on women while they’re at work” and I 100% agree with it, which is why I’m making a separate post to say please don’t hit on people in general when they’re at work.

I work at a bakery and we have this sweet 16 about to turn 17 year old boy who works up front of our store. He used to work at the place next door to us and, while he was there, a girl he was working with developed a bit of a crush on him and asked him out.

He said no, that he has a girlfriend (which she already knew) and thought they could just continue on being friends and coworkers.

Since beginning work at our bakery she stops in every single day and talks to him for the entirety of her 30 minute long break. He has told her multiple times that he’s at work and can’t stand around and talk and when I asked him if he was uncomfortable his response was a very relieved “Oh, God, yes.” 

He’s tried to talk to one of the owners about it and his response was “You can talk to her after work” not realizing this poor boy is being made incredibly uncomfortable on a daily basis in the work place. 

When we told him he could come into the back to find something to do if he needed to he was so incredibly thankful and relieved. This girl spent twenty minutes standing up front waiting for him to come back after he said he had to go do something. Twenty minutes in the front of the store ever after being told he can’t talk to her. He doesn’t know what would happen if he says that he doesn’t want to talk to her and is genuinely nervous every time she walks in.

The only reprieve he gets is from the bakers in the back saying “I get it. Come back here” because the Owners don’t understand that he, a male coworker, can be made uncomfortable by these unwanted advancements being made toward him. 

Please.

This post isn’t made to undersell not hitting on women while they’re at work. I get that and that’s why this separate post exists.

Please.

Don’t hit on people when they’re at work.

Don’t hit on people when they can’t tell you no. 

[animatedamerican]

DON’T HIT ON PEOPLE WHEN THEY CAN’T TELL YOU NO.

[fuckyeahretailhell-blog]

No means no. Fucking just stop already.

[fuckyeahretailhell-blog]

Fuck Salon Customers, Too

To the woman who threw a stage 4 colossal temper tantrum at the salon today because she couldn’t get her $10 polish job - I had a positive strep test, you bitch. Next time I’ll make sure you have one, too!!

[gluten-free-pussy]

Lately I’ve been doing this thing where when men give me shit at my job, I choose to instead speak to their wives/girlfriends/female counterpart. I had a dude today try to yell at me and I ignored him and instead spoke in a very level voice to his wife instead. He literally stomped his feet like a fucking toddler and said “stop ignoring me! I’m talking!” And his wife said “George, please use a quieter voice. You’re embarrassing me.”

[afronerdism]

You are a genius and I’m using this

[gluten-free-pussy]

Lol I learned it from my mom. She does this all the time and eventually the guy either sulks off somewhere or adjusts his behaviour and THEN she’ll address him. I did this with my friends puppies when I was training them and it works the same tbh

[jamaicanblackcastoroil]

[ameliaglitter]

Whenever a married couple calls in escalated, I always address whichever one seems the most rational. 9/10 it’s the wife. Usually, the husband gets cut out of the conversation until we’re done.

Memorable quotes:

“She’s explaining it to me now and you were wrong.”

“Honey, stop talking so the nice lady can help us.”

“Why don’t you go have some coffee while Amelia and I figure this out? Hmmmm?”

“I understand it and I will explain it to you later. Let me get this taken care of.”

“I understand, sweetie, can you explain it to my husband real quick? [aside] Now, you listen to this lady and don’t interrupt!”

Calm wives in the face of their overemotional husbands are a customer service lifeline.

[franticchaos]

Reblog to save someone from unnecessary bullshit

[fuck-customers]

Sir, there are a couple of benches inside the store that you are welcome to sit on, it's even air-conditioned. That grocery cart is meant to be used to transport your groceries, *not* for you to flip on its side and use like it's a goddamn chair.

[fuckyeahretailhell-blog]

0% surprised

[retail-truestory]

Customer: Can you double bag that milk?

Me: Sure.

Customer: And put the bread and tomatoes in a separate bag?

Me: Sure.

Customer: And double bag that one, too, I don't want the bag to break.

[fuckyeahretailhell-blog]

I honestly never double bagged because I had severe tendonitis in my right arm caused by my cashiering job and double bagging means double lifting everything. So I bagged light and if they wanted milk bagged I'd let them do it. *Most* people understod, and by that point I didn't care about the ones who were bothered.

[fuck-customers]

I work at a local grocery store. Yesterday we ran out of paper bags and only had very minimal plastic left because the guy in charge of ordering supplies sucks at his job. An old lady asked for paper in plastic and i told her i cant do that. She said in the nastiest voice ever “excuse me?!??” I explained the situation and she flipped shit saying shes going to our competitor and i should be ashamed for ruining an old ladies day. She left all her groceries all over the place and left a huge mess

[fuckyeahretailhell-blog]

People shit on young people for being rude all the time, but 99% of the time someone is a complete, unreasonable jerk it's a Boomer or older person.

[fuck-customers]

Don't open and test nail polish. DON'T OPEN AND TEST NAIL POLISH. Your hands are disgusting. No I don't care that you used hand sanitizer your nails are dirt traps and it is still nasty. How fucking hard is it to understand that? Like, stop it you are a grown ass woman and should understand that we cannot sell contaminated product and now you must purchase it because we can not legally mark it as defective since it happened in store.

[fuckyeahretailhell-blog]

People who do this seriously piss me off. Or the ones who paint polish all over the shelves and walls. There's usually a sample nail right fucking there. Just use your eyes, Susan!!

[fuck-customers]

My Mom works in retail (I feel so bad for her sometimes) and she said she found used pads (with other things besides blood) in the dressing room. She had to clean it up too and feel so bad for her.

[fuckyeahretailhell-blog]

Retail has taught me that people are FUCKING DISGUSTING.

[fuck-customers]

To the person who ordered 13 food items, 6 sides, and an additional 3 dips on an online order half an hour before it was due for pick up, who then proceeded to call to change on meal, remove another, and then have the audacity to get pissy about the price difference they had to pay when they got to the restaurant; I hate you. Also fuck you for not tipping

[fuckyeahretailhell-blog]

These are the people who make you want too is on their food. (I wouldn't DO IT, but I'd fucking WANT TO!)

[fuck-customers]

i was waiting in like at walfart. only 3 lines open so they were all pretty long, but i was close to the register. its my turn next and this old woman cuts me and turns around and says “be nice to the elderly. thats what you’d want when youre older” and proceeds to unload her cart without a word more. um, being old is no excuse for being an asshole

[fuckyeahretailhell-blog]

People always accuse young people of being rude, but the old farts have got them beat by MILES.

[fuck-customers]

Why do customers thing its okay to ask me for sex? This happens at least 3 times everyday. I mean they literally offer to pay me money to have sex. Then they get pissed at me when I tell them no. They call me rude and a bitch. Honestly! You're older than my grandpa, also I'm a cashier not a fucking prostitute.

[fuckyeahretailhell-blog]

I got this SO MUCH when I was working late nights at Walmart. WTF is wrong with these jackwagons???

[fuck-customers]

Things I Deal With At My Job At A Pet Store

I’d like to start this off by saying yes I know pet stores are inhuman and are known for treating animals like shit. I don’t like it either but overall I do love my job and I do everything I can to make the animals I take care of as happy as possible even tho they don’t have the best living environments. Anyways here we go!

-A million and one people trying to buy a goldfish to put in a bowl

-People who try to buy a second hamster or two hamsters at once to put in the same cage

-People who buy only one animal that must go in pairs (ex: guinea pigs)

-For the most part customers are allowed to hold animals like the hamsters or the reptiles but some will ask to hold a bird??? Like what the fuck do you thing is gonna happen?

-PEOPLE WHO WANT TO PUT LIKE 4 BETTA FISH IN ONE TANK TOGETHER! (Before people get on my ass about it, I know it’s possible to put 4 females together if you do it the right way but we sell mostly male bettas and people want males since they’re prettier and want to put them in like a 5 gal.)

-I get asked all the time if Pedigree or *insert any other brand you can find at walmart* are healthy and when I say no people will still buy it, like why ask if you don’t even care. (Someone once told me “well this is on sale so I’ll get it this time but next time I’ll get the healthy stuff”)

-“Can I put my fish in bottled water?”

-People will constantly try to buy a tank/cage that’s too small for the animal they want and I will direct them to the proper sized one and they’ll refuse to buy it bc the store is holding them in a tiny tank/cage.

-*staring at our turtle tank* “Do turtles need land and water?” Immediately after *looks at our tortoise tank* “Do tortoises need water?”

-There was this bird that snuck into the store from outside and it’s this grey bird & customers point him out and ask if he’s an outside bird or if one of our birds have escaped. We only have parakeets and finches. Parakeets are very colorful and finches are tiny, so neither look anything like our little outside friend. 

-A family came in and was telling me all about their pet chameleon and how it was in a 10 gal tank and how they weren’t using any lighting for it.

-“Can you recommend me a good dog food?” “Sure! There’s x, and y, and z.” “Something I can get at walmart too.” (Yes someone has actually said that to me)

-We have a vet in our store so we sell prescription dog and cat food but you have to have a prescription card to purchase it and people will purposely try to buy the wrong prescription food.

-*looking at the guinea pigs* “Woah look at those big hamsters!”

-“Can you get me one of those goldfish?” “What size tank do you have?” “I’m just gonna put it in a bowl.” “No, I’m sorry sir goldfish need at least a 30 gallon tank.” “It’s for my son, it’s just gonna die anyway.”

-And finally a big shout out to the fuckers who try to buy live, pet mice to feed to their snakes. Fuck you :)

[fuckyeahretailhell-blog]

I could NOT do this....

[oktotalk]

[fuck-customers]

Confession: I keep the thermostat in our store at uncomfortable temperatures. It's a small store and I'm by myself most of my shifts. Customers who come in and spend two hours in here prevent me from having my "breaks." (read: I can rest if no one's in the store, but have to be standing if there are customers present). They also get in the way of me doing stocking, mark downs, etc. And I constantly have to go behind them and clean. So I keep it uncomfy so they buy something and GET OUT! LEAVE!

[fuckyeahretailhell-blog]

You're my hero!

[fuck-customers]

So I work at a doggie daycare, and the amount of customers who try to go back into the kennel area alone amazes me. We have a sign on every door that says you have to enter with a staff member, and yet people still give me a confused look when I tell them they need to be accompanied back. A few people ask if it’s because ‘we don’t we don’t want them to see what really goes on back there’ and no? It’s because you dumbf*cks are gonna try to pet the wrong dog and get bit! It’s a safety issue!

[fuckyeahretailhell-blog]

Or a door will get left open and someone's dog will get out or they'll step on a tiny little purse dog or something and no one will know wtf happened. I really don't understand why people are so fucking stupid.

[fuck-customers]

Had a guy come up to my register with an eyeliner than rang up around 9$. Starts arguing it should be 4-5$ and his s/o TOLD him it was like 4-5$. Pulls up his text convo with her where she sent him a photo of her VERY USED/name scratched off eyeliner in 1 text and the 2nd text said ‘4-5 bucks stop on ur way home i’ll get u back’. Kept waving around his phone/text convo as PROOF that I needed to change the price on the item. Brought him over to the eyeliner price tag that said 9$ and he’s still bitching. I tell him if he or his s/o can pull up the eyeliner our website with that price I’ll change it (even tho I’m not suppose to). Pulls it up and it’s 12$ on the website full price (guess it scanned out onsale or smth?). Tell him I can’t do anything because that’s the price and he’s already getting a sale and he L E A N S over the counter and goes “You callin’ my girl a liar, miss?”

It took me EVERYTHING to not retort, “well, I ain’t callin’ her a truther”.

[fuckyeahretailhell-blog]

The freaking thing in the picture was probably like 5 years old.

[watermelonbongos]

I want to cry tears of gratitude every time a customer says, “No, I understand, thank you so much for your help,” if we don’t have something.

[fuckyeahretailhell-blog]

Gods yes!