OK2TALK

It's time we talked about mental health. Share what's on your mind.

[oktotalk]

I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. It’s gotten a lot better since last month due to the fact that I’ve learned how to manage and cope with it properly; Although I still get the random waves of sadness/ anxiousness every now and then. If anyone is reading this please don’t be afraid to speak up and talk to someone if you’re in need of help; We need to break the stigma of mental health and start taking action ❤️❤️ I’m an abuse survivor/ trauma survivor and I can tell you firsthand that it’s hard to overcome which is why I’ve been so silent about it the past few years but now I wanna use my voice and spread awareness about this and about mental health as well.

[oktotalk]

Cannot focus

I am 23, studying political science now after quitting two previous studies. everyday I am full with anxiety. I don’t enjoy studying at all at the moment. I really want to graduate and I feel like I am failing all the time. I hate it when friends or family is asking how Uni goes. I don’t want to tell them that I have an issue with my mental health, makes me feel like the week one. so often people said stupid things to me like just finish your Bachelors or just stop thinking so much. I don’t want to explain myself. When I am on the metro going into the city anxiety is often hitting so badly that I cannot focus on anything. I am just trying to survive. It takes a lot of energy. I am tried. Trying to study but I cannot focus. I feel pressured most of the days. My chest is so tied, always having headaches and I cannot sleep properly. I wake up every night and I always wake up super early. I need hours to calm down. When I go to Uni I feel bad. People look like they enjoy themselves. I used to be like this. I miss the old me. I want to be happier again. But I don’t now how. I live in a big city now. I moved there because I thought it would make me feel alive. But am homesick. Kinda wanna go back home but that feels like failing. Not studying makes me anxious. But keep going like this makes me ill. I feel lonely and I feel like a failure. 

[oktotalk]

A life of bad choices

I’m 64, when a lot of people are thinking about their retirement or already have. I compare myself to my brother and best friends, who are very financially comfortable.  I’ve made bad choices all along, sabotaging myself and doing things ass backwards. Lots of people work in the NE,the retire to the affordable South. One huge point of shame is never finishing college. I was a PTA instead of a PT, making abt 2/3 of them. I tried to go back to school but couldn’t, handle work and school.

Just as I was thinking abt leaving the South to come home to NJ, I met and married the biggest mistake of my life. Of course. He was textbook narcissist, and I put up with it for 10 years, another point of shame. He ran me into the ground during a 4 yr divorce. I had an extremely emotionally/verbally abusive father, so married Daddy. The shame piles on. 

I finally got it together to move, but didn’t have a job or place to live. Shame. Living with my brother/SIL, who’ve been great, but do NOT get BP. There have been so many things to decide, I’m so overwhelmed, and he said “it’s simple; just make a decision. The world is full of flat squirrels who couldn’t decide which way to go”  He was trying to be helpful, but just reinforced how inadequate I feel and what a failure I am, 

I’m not anxious/frightened/shamed/overwhelmed because I can’t get my shit together. I tried to tell him that is exactly part of my illness, but he doesn’t make the connection. So, the stigma remains, the shame grows, and I feel more and more like I don’t feel like fighting anymore. I’m exhausted. Tired of feeling like a failure. Tired of being perceived as making excuses. I’m just tired.

[oktotalk]

How Owning Myself Gave Me My Power

Hi my name is Morgan M., thank you so much for taking the time to hear part of my Mental Health Journey. This is difficult for me to talk about so please be kind and laugh at my jokes (well… normally I laugh a lot but I’m not sure where this will go, we’ll see)! My story starts during one of my first memories as a child. My mother came home from a very bad accident. From popping her occasional pill, losing her mind to slitting her wrist in front of me and my twin sister, looking at me saying “this is what you do to me.” That stuck with me because of the shame and guilt I had already been very familiar with. Shortly thereafter I overheard my mother talking about wanting to kill herself to a childhood friend’s mother. 

Of course I felt to blame, nightly panic attacks aren’t the easiest to deal with. My mother decided to find Doctors to prescribe me medication at a very young age. Topamax, Risperdal, Adderall, Xanax, Wellbutrin (’m sure I’m missing a few).This medication adventure started when I was 6. Even though I was an unstable nuisance to my mother, she loved me. I know with her issues she was not fit to handle a child with my needs and I have forgiven her for that. I remember gaining a ton of weight that 8th grade year and pretending to take Risperdal. I came to find out she was putting it in my food. In her defense I would stay up for days but still there should have been other options explored first. 

For the sake of keeping this short and sweet we will skip high school (when I lost all the weight) and go to college and my mother was not doing well. I used to check up on her everyday on my way to class and she was heavy on dope that day, my ex at the time said he knew, and came to find out he was selling it to her. That relationship obviously didn’t last but all the betrayal was taking its toll. The mental, physical and emotional abuse made me feel not only misunderstood and alone but ashamed and worthless. A constant burden whom my family would be better off without.

  I think back now and say to myself, wow you poor little girl, I wish you knew how unique you are and cannot wait until you love yourself. 

I was tired of being tired, and I do know the feeling of being happy and all I wanted was to have that feeling more times than not (but it is DEF OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY) We just want more good days than bad. Once I realized the source of my depression it I knew I had to ditch those habits (I know easier said than done) but if nothing else be consistent in even the smallest things! Stop relying on the expectations of others, focus on your good qualities, go to therapy/support groups to talk to a Professional and like-minded people without judgment.

I’m strong AF 

Once I realized I was ignoring parts of myself I needed to care for and stopped living by the expectations of others I felt free to start loving myself. I only surround myself with positive people who I know care about me. I am at a point in my life where I can say that I haven’t sunk into a major depression for the largest stretch of time since I was in my late teens/early 20s. I feel powerful, like I can do anything. This coming from someone who years ago was hanging on by a thread, living day-to-day in misery, living my nights wondering how I will feel tomorrow makes me confident anyone can live a functional happy life with Mental Health issues. 

Those of us who struggle with Mental Health know the feeling of guilt and shame all too well. Those out there who judge are weak and ignorant with no respect or class. They are the people who should be ashamed, not us. 

What helps me stay consistent, stable, worth-it, happy, but remember it’s OKAY not to be OKAY it doesn’t mean you fell off it means you fell, everybody does!

Therapy 

Positive support system 

Consistency 

Yoga/meditation

Medications (in some cases) 

Exercise 

Walks 

Music 

Helping Others 

Forgiving those who have hurt you 

Know your strength, a lot of people could not live with Mental Health problems

KNOW YOU ARE WORTHY - Share your hardships, inspire others… you are worth more than you know

Self-Care 

Positive Affirmations

Stay Away From People Who Make You Feel Anything But Joy 

Thanks again for taking the time to read this! 

[oktotalk]

The Mental Health Revolution

In the previous lockdown, I started to feel very anxious, often I would cry and wouldn’t even know the reason why I was crying. I told my parents that I want to opt for Therapy. My parents have always been aware about mental health issues because my mom has had OCD and depression. They agreed and supported me. I went to the therapist, the same therapist who treated my mom. I told her about my issue and the required treatment began in September 2020. She suggested that I go to a psychiatrist too because she felt I needed more than just Therapy. The psychiatrist again was the same person who treated my mom. I got the required treatment and the required support. By January 2021, I began to heal and I came out stronger. Instead of victimising my struggle with anxiety, I felt like a badass for smiling, talking, studying and doing the same things that any other person would do, even with such a turmoil in my head. I started to talk about my story on social media platforms because I knew that there is a lot of stigma surrounding mental health even today. I started out with the intention of voicing my story for myself, to make myself proud but when my first article got published, I received over 20 mails and DMs. Out of those 20 people, most of them told me that they had been suffering from anxiety since a long time and asked me for advice on how they can overcome their anxiety. What I could do at Max was to be there as a listener when they were in pain;provide emotional support. I suggested that they take professional help. The replies that I got from most of them really saddened me. Almost all of them told me that professional help is not an option for them because their family does not believe in mental health issues. Some of them were way too afraid to tell their loved ones that they were suffering from a mental health issue because they thought that would really worry their family as mental health issues are considered such a big deal in various societies. Some said Therapy or any kind of professional help regarding mental health, is way too expensive for them. They told me about how they were in pain, how their chest would feel heavy, how their head would start to pain because of the anxiety they felt all day long and how they wanted to just get rid of all the turmoil that was there in their heads. That was the day that completely changed me and my purpose. All of a sudden, the interviews and the articles were lesser for myself and more for all these people. The word started to spread just like I wanted it to, I’m still on it. The biggest achievement for me on behalf of all the anxiety sufferers and survivors was when the article was taken up by UNICEF. There are highly educated people who tell me that mental health illnesses are merely a *state of mind*. I find no point in trying to change their mind. So I go ahead on this journey, spreading awareness to the ones willing to learn and learning from the ones willing to make aware. The next step in this journey is to get on the ground and do the same, engage in conversations with people about mental health in vulnerable areas, under developed areas. Professional help regarding mental health is still a privilege/luxury. Why most people refused professional help for anxiety is because of two reasons. The first reason being the stigma surrounding mental health issues and the second reason is the lack of affordability of mental health aid resources. People are made to believe that mental health issues do not require professional help. We need to understand that our mind is a part of our body. If we seek help for a typhoid fever, we can similarly seek help for mental health issues. This is the most important reason I decided to talk about my story because I wanted people to know that it’s normal. We can talk about anxiety and mental health illnesses just like we talk about any other disease or discomfort. Our mind is a part of our body. If the body needs help at times then so does the mind. Time for us to normalise mental health, break the stigma surrounding it and make therapy a little more accessible and affordable for all. Therapy should no more be a privilege or a luxury. The least we can do to break the stigma and normalise these issues, is by talking about them, reaching out to more and more people. Let’s do it! Be kind, be aware and make aware. High time we get over these taboos! I think established psychiatrists and therapists can take out one day in a week to provide mental health aid for free to people who can’t afford it. I feel anxiety survivors should start to talk about their health issues. Here I am, an anxiety survivor, still striving to get better while talking about my entire journey to let the people know that mental health issues are normal and therapy should be normalised in terms of accessibility and affordability both. I wish to reach out to as many people as I can through this article to spread the word. I wish to help people realise that they need to stop worrying about how their family would react or what their friends would think and seek the required help. Also i want therapy to be seen as a way of discovering yourself rather than just a way to recover from a mental illness. Even a person without a mental health issue can opt for therapy if they’re tensed about a certain phase of their life. A lot of people still remain unaware about the NGOs that provide free mental health aid resources. I wish to reach out to people like myself and tell them that speak up and speak a little louder about your health issues. There’s nothing to be ashamed of or victim-like. Having an illness, whether physical or mental, and yet going on with your daily life is such a badass thing to do! I wish i could make my past self realise this. But i know there are a million others out there who need to hear these words. Personally, I have successfully driven over 10 people since 2021 started, to opt for the required help and take care of their mental health. I wish to do the same for a thousand more.

[oktotalk]

Trust gets people out of psychosis

I was in a psych ward for a month with no hope. I couldn't let anyone in because I thought everyone was out to get me. There was eventually a young man whom I often think was a guardian angel or something because had it not been for him, I'd probably still be there. He went along with the story line of my psychosis (helping me open portals to save everyone haha) and after he had built a rapport, he simply said, "this is reality" and it was as if i literally snapped out of it. I felt almost a "click" sensation. I researched psychosis because I knew that there was more to my experience than what the doctors gave me. And I came across a book by a psychologist named Ed podvoll. About the compassionate approach to helping people with psychosis. And I found research articles that made the connection between schizophrenia and trust. So here I am sharing this to a random page because I have no idea how to spread the word. But this goes with all mental illness. People can feel your judgement. So if you can be compassionate and understanding instead, you'll reach them. Please don't judge people and push them further into the prison of their own mind. 

[oktotalk]

How I Got My Power Back By Loving Myself

Hi my name is Morgan M., thank you so much for taking the time to hear part of my Mental Health Journey. This is difficult for me to talk about so please be kind and laugh at my jokes (well… normally I laugh a lot but I’m not sure where this will go, we’ll see)! My story starts during one of my first memories as a child. My mother came home from a very bad accident. From popping her occasional pill, losing her mind to slitting her wrist in front of me and my twin sister, looking at me saying “this is what you do to me.” That stuck with me because of the shame and guilt I had already been very familiar with. Shortly thereafter I overheard my mother talking about wanting to kill herself to a childhood friend’s mother. 

Of course I felt to blame, nightly panic attacks aren’t the easiest to deal with. My mother decided to find Doctors to prescribe me medication at a very young age. Topamax, Risperdal, Adderall, Xanax, Wellbutrin (’m sure I’m missing a few).This medication adventure started when I was 6. Even though I was an unstable nuisance to my mother, she loved me. I know with her issues she was not fit to handle a child with my needs and I have forgiven her for that. I remember gaining a ton of weight that 8th grade year and pretending to take Risperdal. I came to find out she was putting it in my food. In her defense I would stay up for days but still there should have been other options explored first. 

For the sake of keeping this short and sweet we will skip high school (when I lost all the weight) and go to college and my mother was not doing well. I used to check up on her everyday on my way to class and she was heavy on dope that day, my ex at the time said he knew, and came to find out he was selling it to her. That relationship obviously didn’t last but all the betrayal was taking its toll. The mental, physical and emotional abuse made me feel not only misunderstood and alone but ashamed and worthless. A constant burden whom my family would be better off without.

I think back now and say to myself, wow you poor little girl, I wish you knew how unique you are and cannot wait until you love yourself. 

I was tired of being tired, and I do know the feeling of being happy and all I wanted was to have that feeling more times than not (but it is DEF OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY) We just want more good days than bad. Once I realized the source of my depression it I knew I had to ditch those habits (I know easier said than done) but if nothing else be consistent in even the smallest things! Stop relying on the expectations of others, focus on your good qualities, go to therapy/support groups to talk to a Professional and like-minded people without judgment.

I’m strong AF 

Once I realized I was ignoring parts of myself I needed to care for and stopped living by the expectations of others I felt free to start loving myself. I only surround myself with positive people who I know care about me. I am at a point in my life where I can say that I haven’t sunk into a major depression for the largest stretch of time since I was in my late teens/early 20s. I feel powerful, like I can do anything. This coming from someone who years ago was hanging on by a thread, living day-to-day in misery, living my nights wondering how I will feel tomorrow makes me confident anyone can live a functional happy life with Mental Health issues. 

Those of us who struggle with Mental Health know the feeling of guilt and shame all too well. Those out there who judge are weak and ignorant with no respect or class. They are the people who should be ashamed, not us. 

What helps me stay consistent, stable, worth-it, happy, but remember it’s OKAY not to be OKAY it doesn’t mean you fell off it means you fell, everybody does!

Therapy 

Positive support system 

Consistency 

Yoga/meditation

Medications (in some cases) 

Exercise 

Walks 

Music 

Helping Others 

Forgiving those who have hurt you 

Know your strength, a lot of people could not live with Mental Health problems

KNOW YOU ARE WORTHY - Share your hardships, inspire others… you are worth more than you know

Self-Care 

Positive Affirmations

Stay Away From People Who Make You Feel Anything But Joy 

Thanks again for taking the time to read this! 

[oktotalk]

I've always struggled with depression, and lately it feels like its getting worse. I feel as if my "friends" are using me as they don't listen to the rules of the house ( they live with me) Im the only one who really cleans, im going back to school to get my ged but it feels like i just don't have the energy to sit at a computer for hours on end anymore. Im getting married tomorrow but im more scared than excited because i don't know if it'll change anything . im just so tired of caring. My step daughters mom keeps asking me to watch her baby who's not in anyway Dustin's but she keeps skimping on the money she promised to pay me. I know Ill snap soon but i keep telling my self " 2 more months til they leave" but that 2 months has become 4 and idk how much longer i can keep my mouth shut

[oktotalk]

One hell of a Year

I’m 21 and this year has been horrible. Due to issues with a friend and severe emotional and financial stress I failed my spring semester in college. Over the summer I stayed with my mother and got a job. During this time my step sister sued my mother and my mother blamed everyone but herself. She tried to drive a wedge between me and my sisters but we wouldn’t give in. Late summer my mom and I had an argument about my step sister still being my sister regardless of their relationship. Words were said and I was left on the side of the road crying my eyes out. My grandmother took me in and eventually my mother and I started talking again. I’m still reeling from all of this and now I’m in an apartment on my own with very little income and I need help. I want to talk to someone without feeling like I’m burdening someone. Does anyone know of a place that I can get therapy without forking over half my paycheck? I am at an all time low and I just need to talk to someone about all of THIS without having to censor myself.

[oktotalk]

Very extreme depression

Hello, my name is Sara, I’m 22 I live in California and my depression has gotten so extreme I can barely remember things or past memories, I have constant migraines, I have blurry vision, and my ability to do everyday activities has went to 0. My depression was kinda sorta uplifted yesterday, I took a nice walk and thought good thoughts and then suddenly it worsened exponentially and I couldn’t sleep the whole night. I can’t feel love my emotions are very numb and I am at the brink of suicide at some point. I can’t bare this much longer, it’s so severe, I just can’t handle it. I applied for a Deep Brain Stimulation clinical trial in hopes that I get in at some point, if not then my only way to cope is death. Nobody should have to deal or live with this at all, especially at my level of pain and suffering. Always remember to use healthy coping skills, be mindful of your emotions, be kind to yourself, don’t beat yourself up, and remember to go to therapy and take your required meds.

[oktotalk]

I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOU. Sounds weird to hear that from a total stranger, right? But I do. I’ve been through a lot of horrible things. Emotional abuse, depression, anxiety, undiagnosed ADHD and autism, self harm, and I’m still experiencing a lot of these. Yeah, life can suck. But, IT WILL GET BETTER. I currently have a wonderful friend group who accepts me for who I am and I know that they love me. You will find those people too. Trust me. I LOVE YOU AND YOU SHOULD LOVE YOURSELF TOO <3

[oktotalk]

My story

So I don’t know where to start with this but let’s say that I’m 12 right now and it all started in March 2021. I was friends with a toxic girl and she hit me when I did something wrong and called me a b at times, as I said to my grandma is wanted to kill my self and I started cutting my inner thighs I still do it to this day. I got a therapist and I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I started to get better until this last month. November. I started to loose 10 pounds a week and at first I was like “yay I’m starting to loose weight” but then I stated to throw up more and more and more and eventually I realized that this isn’t normal. I talked to my therapist about it and she said it might be depression. I’m still in struggle with this and any advise would be helpful.

[oktotalk]

Relationship Stressors

Reacting out of pocket is an indication you need to work out yourself. Don't delay in talking with a friend or mental health professional. Youth outreach is available thru cell phone from an organization called JED

[oktotalk]

I like him. I like him so much that it hurts.

[oktotalk]

My experience with Mental Health

When I was three I was diagnosed with autism, and 5 years later was diagnosed with epilepsy. From the time I was 11-15 I was in four boarding schools, one lockdown treatment center, wilderness therapy, and three mental institutions. I sunk into depression, and for a long time had suicidal thoughts and was tempted to try drugs and alcohol. While in mental hospitals, I couldn’t control my temper, and was often in fights, sometimes involving trips to emergency rooms. Now, more than 5 years after I was first sent to boarding school, I am an honor roll student, have a job, and I am now filling out college applications. To this day when I see my friends smoking or doing drugs, I wonder where I would be if I followed the same track. I have done things that I am not proud of, but if there is anyone that has a similar story, I will do anything in my power to help them not make the decisions that almost ruined my life.

[oktotalk]

My bad times

Hi I'm now 26 I have depression and was diagnosed w what we call bipolar/mood swings when i was 13 I've had a rough childhood lost my child in a custody battle to my own mom i have been abused mentally and physically at the ages of 16-19yrs old I've tried to kill myself twice being in a relationship with my boyfriend I had a moment where we had a fight I felt so hurt thinking he was going to leave me we moved to Texas where I had no family except my mom her husband and my child I felt everyone would be better off with out me I spent my whole life fighting for my child back working and trying to be happy and so at the time I felt if my boyfriend left me I already don't have my child that I'd have nothing to live for my son is cared for and wants for nothing I felt like no one cared about me i felt I didn't matter and I felt like I wasn't needed in the world like no matter what I'm always left alone in the end so I popped a bunch of pills that I thought would make me sleep and I'd go quietly but In doing so I seen some bad things and I didn't want to go anymore so I woke up my boyfriend whom was in the room and told him what I did he forced me to throw the pills up and made me stay up for the whole night and the next day afterwards I thought I'd be fine years passed my husband went into hypoglycemia he was born a type 1 diabetic I didn't know at the time he was in a state and he said some hurtful things that made me feel I couldn't deal w life no more so I tried to cut my wrist I didn't go deep but bled and I threatened to take pills again cause I felt he didn't care I told him weeks later I feel I need help w my depression & etc. though my suicide attempts have been 2-3yrs from now today july8th 2021 I still feel weak mentally its days I feel down cause I feel I'm not cared about its days I feel alone I am constantly fighting to be happy and stay alive I spent half my life seeing a psychiatrist and never felt it help ease my mind or the pain 2years ago I was told I have hypothyroidism which now cause me to have anxiety n mood swings worse than ever n I feel like I'm breaking and don't know what to do I almost lost my boyfriend and saved his life 7times since we been together cause of his diabetes and I feel exhausted thanks for listening or reading this I have not found a solution to my mental illness but I hope anyone going through this does find a way out and can shed light on how.

[oktotalk]

Severe depression

Hi My name is Hannah I'm 18 I just finished high school and got my diploma . I wanted to tell someone how I really feel and get relieved because I'm tired of pretending to be happy and nice in front of everyone especially my parents cuz I don't want them to see me like this I want them to think that I'm okay because I really cannot let them down I'm trying my best and it still breaks my heart that my dad it still has hope for me and sees something in me why just it doesn't throw me away I'm not worth it . I don't exactly know what I'm struggling with but it makes me sad and hopeless most of the times ; I don't know what is the reason but I feel like a failure Don't get me wrong there is no intention in me for harming myself but sometimes I wish I was never born at all. I find myself crying couple of times a week and I just can't stop it I'm even crying right now because thinking about the problem I have makes me sad again . I'm really trying to get up on my feet again I sometimes get better I might feel happy but the sadness catches me whatever I do it's like it's chasing me and it's waiting for its shot. I'm signing up for different classes and trying to find a new way for living my life I hope it helps. If you need to talk to anyone I'm there I'm not as sad as this in real life Love <3