someday we'll look back on this and it will all seem funny.

Claire (n): aspiring author, unfortunate adult, reliable pessimist.

[stydiacast]

You know you missed us. XOXO… wait, wrong show. 

We kick off 6b by chatting about redemption, some random guy on a train to NYC, poetry, and more!

Soundcloud

iTunes

Podcasters: @rongasm, @fudgythewhale, @madgrad2011, and @roe-your-boat

[zeldaroy]

Zelda discusses her love of change, realizes that Raphael knows how to use a watch, and successfully tells off a telemarketer.

Soundcloud

iTunes

(Written/produced by @fudgythewhale and @roe-your-boat. The voice of Zelda is @fudgythewhale, music by @roe-your-boat.) Rosemary’s also Valeria on this ep, and @justinleeroth is Raphael.

Join us every other Friday as Zelda judges all, but especially you, Kenneth G. Fabio.

[fudgythewhale]

We're baaaaaaack!

Check out the premiere of season 2, in which Zelda discusses the importance of friendship and the complexities of being in a boy band.

[zeldaroy]

Freaking Camelot.

Zelda Roy (via zeldaroy)

[zeldaroy]

Why are you always so angry?

Margaret Roy (via zeldaroy)

[zeldaroy]

Everyone loves me, okay?

Brian Mercator (via zeldaroy)

[zeldaroy]

You want a nice smell accompanied by a weak flame? Go into a garden and light a Zippo.

Zelda Roy (via zeldaroy)

[zeldaroy]

I wouldn’t spend so much of my valuable free time with Horace Applebottom were it not for the importance of civil liberty, emotional freedom, and the right to watch Scandal whenever I damn well please.

June Lennox-Mercator (via zeldaroy)

[fudgythewhale]

OFFICIAL TRANSCRIPT

ZELDA ROY: [...]

KENNETH G. FABIO: Um.

ZELDA ROY: [...]

KENNETH G. FABIO: Uh. Are you--I thought this was an interview?

ZELDA ROY: It is.

KENNETH G. FABIO: Okay. Are you going to ask me something? I don’t really have the time--why would you invite me here if--

ZELDA ROY: Are you really going to pretend you didn’t bribe the Entertainment chair with a role in "Brigadoon" to get this interview as free advertisement for your latest production..."Brigadoon"?

KENNETH G. FABIO: Is this on the record?

ZELDA ROY: [loud exhale] What inspired you to yet again choose a Canon musical instead of exploring the options that the Other World merge has made available?

KENNETH G. FABIO: Well, I think it’s actually somewhat representative of the situation here in Delorenze. I mean, we weren’t isolated for 100 years but I think--

ZELDA ROY: So it’s really not representative at all.

KENNETH G. FABIO: That’s up to the--

ZELDA ROY: Do you think that this production will be even worse than your last, a musical adaptation of "Hedda Gabler"?

KENNETH G. FABIO: That’s not really a fair question.

ZELDA ROY: Can’t even defend your own production.

KENNETH G. FABIO: I took an artistic risk with Hedda--I feel like I know her so well now, I just call her by her first name--and one cannot call oneself a true artist without taking risks. So perhaps it wasn’t as well received as I would have liked--

ZELDA ROY: Oh, sorry, that seems to be all the time I can muster up for you today. [...] Come see Brigadoom. Doon [sic]. "Brigadoon".

KENNETH G. FABIO: You didn’t even say when--

END OF TRANSCRIPT.

[zeldaroy]

The boy who wouldn’t grow up is an evil mastermind. Because screw years of tradition.

Zelda Roy (via zeldaroy)

[donnajosh]

[zeldaroy]

I figured he would just call her out in public and bowling league shame her into changing her mind.

Caius Wilburn Selby (via zeldaroy)

[zeldaroy]

in case you haven’t been paying attention

…or are just now joining the party (better late than never, I guess), here’s a crash course on the citizens of Delorenze.

ZELDA ROY: Esteemed arts critic and radio host with an affinity for “vintage” clothing and holding onto anger for a completely healthy amount of time; great at parties

BRIAN “CATE” MERCATOR: Zelda’s longtime best friend; suave; loved by the town; in unspoken relationship with Barlow; called “Cate” by close friends

VALERIA LENNOX: June’s younger sister; thorn in Zelda’s side; has a flair for the dramatic bordering on life-threatening

DR. S. BARLOW: Doctor of unknown specialty; Brian’s close “friend”; stupidly noble at inconvenient times; likes paisley too much

DAISY MERCATOR: Cate and June’s adorable two-year old; Zelda’s goddaughter; again, adorable

JUNE LENNOX-MERCATOR: Zelda’s deceased best friend; Cate’s wife; town sweetheart; endearingly melodramatic (for the most part)

HORACE APPLEBOTTOM: Founder of Applebottom Feeders, suspicious history of dead wives; most definitely not Zelda’s father

KENNETH G. FABIO: Untalented director of the Delorenze Playhouse; doesn’t appreciate talent when he sees it; because he is untalented

RAPHAEL BARTHOLOMEW: Obituary writer and town records keeper; shares office with Zelda; timid; has a comprehensive knowledge of cliches

MARGARET ROY: Zelda’s grandmother; now living in Disney World; definitely not hiding anything

GARY ROY: Zelda’s grandfather; living with Zelda’s grandmother in Disney World; hates technology and wearing pants

JOAQUIN THE TURTLE: Zelda’s one true and loyal companion in these dark times

ANASTASIA EDGARTON: Cabaret Social Committee Chair; nosy; susceptible to blackmail

LORI WITHERS: Head cashier of Delorenze’s slightly better convenience store; Horace Applebottom’s final fiancee; pleasantly apathetic

EMERICK ARGAL: June’s stranger with weird shoes; manipulative

LINDA BATEWELL: Cabaret Tourism committee chair; unpleasant

BERNADETTE GLENCOE: Original member of the BeeGees (the cat lady group, not the disco stars)

BERNICE GROSSMAN: Original member of the BeeGees (again, the cat lady group, not the disco stars)

BETTY GREENE: Original member of the BeeGees (NOT A GIBBS BROTHER, OKAY?!)

CAIUS WILBURN SELBY: Cabaret leader during the Revolution; easily manipulated (like everyone else in this town); also dumb

MARVIN WHITLEY: Undeserving owner of town video store; rude; mean to children

MARSHALL MARSHALLS: Proprietor of Everything But the Kitchen Rink roller disco; hates leggings; loves Robin Hood

“ELSA” FABIO: Kenneth G. Fabio’s wife; constantly being cast in roles too young for her; also constantly not being faithful to Kenneth

ANNE ROY: Zelda’s mom; promiscuous; dead

DAVIS BILLINGSLEY: Former Cabaret leader; mediocre piano player; assassinated by delinquent teenage boys

ROBERT FARRAWAY: “Bobby the-the-the Jimmy,” Jimmy Stewart impersonator; writes sad poetry about his dog

SALLY WERTH: Award winning baker; that’s really all anyone knows about her

GERARD JONES: Reigning champion of “Dress That Thomas”; weirdly obsessed with period clothing; unfortunately deceased

JERRY JONES: Works in the educational services branch of the Cabaret; brother of Gerard Jones; “willing to be bribed” at this point is just a given

ISAIAH COOLEY: Gas station attendant; mysterious

OLLIE: Pizza delivery boy; pure of heart; one of the first casualties of the epidemic

WARREN DELORENZE: Founder of Delorenze; maybe a bit crazy; loves anthropomorphic animals; but who doesn’t

[zeldaroy]

The napkin unfolds, as does the plot.

Zelda Roy (via zeldaroy)

[zeldaroy]

If anyone is interested in starting a Delorenzians for Niall Horan fan club please contact me.

Zelda Roy (via zeldaroy)

[textsfr0mbakerstreet]

Submission by drlecters2ndwife

[allsonargent]

[msjessicaday]