had the sky always been so blue? had colors always been so BRIGHT and overwhelming? had zakarias ever smiled as much as he had been the last couple of days? those were questions he didn’t even know how to begin seeking ANSWERS for.
maybe those chocolate dipped ovals had made him see CLEARLY, or maybe things always had been that way and zak hadn’t brought himself to notice.
it was hard for him to grasp the fact that they were together. it was them, both of them, two against the world. it was ZAK and ALEXANDER. a smile always appeared on his lips as he thought of the other. of his boyfriend? were they boyfriends? could he call alex his BOYFRIEND? nevertheless, he was just happy the other loved him, and didn’t hate him, didn’t just like him as a F R I E N D.
with hands stuffed into his pocket, zakarias grinned to himself, greeting every stranger walking by with his smile and a cheerful hello. maybe he was growing LOVESICK but he could not stop himself but to have his head up by the clouds.
— was that alexander? sitting on a bench not too far away from him? sure, it was a local park and all, but he did not think he’d stumble upon the person that constantly on his mind. yet, maybe it was a sign? a sign that proved that zak and alex were MEANT TO BE. was he getting over his head? was this so called LOVE driving him completely and utterly insane?
inhaling and exhaling, zak licked his lips, trying to collect his thoughts before making his way towards the other. his heart was racing already, just by the thought of being near the other made his palms sweat and his body feel oh so light.
sinking down on the bench next to the other, zakarias moved close, the side of his thigh bumping into the other’s thigh.
❝ hi, didn’t think i’d meet you here. ❞ he uttered, playing with his hands resting in his lap as he tried to keep himself from blushing. he did not understand how, or why, alexander made him so NERVOUS. he made him fumbled with his words, made his knees weak and made him want to do irrational and impulsive things that he wouldn’t even think about doing. and maybe, maybe zak was just so in love with the thought of being in love that he couldn’t even see the falseness the other radiated of.
deep breaths. deep breaths and you’ll do alright. that was everything that ran through alexander’s head as he sat there, trying to figure out what to do of himself. why the fuck did zak HAVE to be there? was the gods trying to punish him for his mistake? --- that was actually quite possible and he wouldn’t be surprised if that was what happened right in this moment.
as if he wasn’t on the edge already, zak absolutely had to sit down and his leg had to HIT alexander’s. it made it harder for him to breath and he hated it. he hated himself for doing this.
somehow he managed to smile at the other; he didn’t K N O W if it looked real or just as fake as it felt. he hoped for the first, but would bet on the latter. maybe he could call if off as plain nervousness? he was supposed to be in love with this guy, was supposed to--- everything. with this guy. zakarias. but love was dangerous and this was a real life example of the statement. dangerous for zak to get involved - and dangerous for alexander to PLAY with.
his eyes locked with the others and something happened - he wasn’t sure what, he just knew things felt... easier. after all, zakarias was his friend. alexander could do this. for a friend. he could fall in love and throw everything he had saved for that special someone away for zak. and hey--- zakarias was special. they had SOMETHING. the other would never need to know about his lack of real feelings.
when it came down to it, alexander wasn’t even making sense to himself. that didn’t matter, nothing really mattered. only zakarias and his happiness. that should be protected at all costs.
❝ well, it is the park, ❞ he mumbled, not really sure where he was going with ANY of this. ❝ and i do work right there--- ❞ his finger flew up to point at the corner where the comic store were. god, he would have given everything to go back and chose to spend the break there.
was it showing? he really hoped it wasn’t showing. he would give everything for it to not show, for his acting to be on point, for zakarias to believe in him ---- for the other to be happy. hell, the way the other was smiling made it worth it. the pain, the sleepless nights he had experienced lately. everything. he would do it for zakarias to be happy.
