Polyamory in Media: A (Depressingly) Short List
There is a veritable dearth of polyamorous depictions in art and media. Such was the passing thought that swirled in the vortex of my mindscape as I was playing Japanese erotic games - a tangential point, I promise. Our society, defined by centuries of oppressive heteronormativity, forces us to fit in predefined boxes, severely limiting or downright forbidding our self-expression, sexual or otherwise. Progress has been steadily made that gnawed at the roots of "normalcy" as queerness became too loud to silence, no matter how much fascists tried to do so. The last vestige of heteronormativity yet to be meaningfully challenged is the almighty monogamy, and it's not hard to imagine why.
Polygamy, polyamory, a romantic relationship between more than two individuals on equal terms are a tough sell for most people (including some queer people) as our general understanding of love is often limited, blinded, chained by systemic monogamy. Non-monogamous partnerships have been around for a long time, much like every other form of arbitrarily determined "deviancy." However, right now, we are at a stage where it's easy to misunderstand, misrepresent, ridicule or dismiss them entirely from any conversation about legitimate romantic expression.
So, there might be some misconceptions on the subject.
In the simplest possible terms, polyamorous molecules are romantic unions between more than two individuals. They are not necessarily the same as open relationships and they don't exist as a way to justify cuckoldry - although, they might work as a solution to the problem, in some cases. Finally, polycules are neither sex cults nor real life harems. I believe that bears emphasizing.
To be clear, I am not an expert. I merely subscribe to the idea that Art is representative of the human experience, which is vast and varied yet often filtered through a veneer of "mainstream acceptability." That, I find, is quite the suffocating state of affairs.
This (depressingly) short list is my meager attempt to help spread visibility to a form of romance that's yet to find respect in the eyes of a decaying world. The following are going to be examples of proper attempts at polyamorous portrayals within media that I have personally encountered. Some, not all, of said examples are from visual novels, two of which being of the erotic persuasion. All of the polycules observed are the default combination of 1 guy + 2 women with never more than three members - save for one important exception! I found trans or gender non-conforming representation in exactly one case.
Of course, if you happen to be sharing your life with more than two other partners and you aren't cisgender, you might find this data quite discouraging.
Regardless, let us begin.
Ritsu, Risa and Mikako (Aoi Tori by Purple Software)
We start our media tour with a certified doozy. I recently covered Aoi Tori and I will not forget the burning disappointment of that experience, the unresolved baggage and the unfulfilled potential. Here is what you need to know for the sake of this entry: Ritsu is a priest-in-training, a student, a sexual assault victim, and The Antichrist with the power of Being Good at Servicing Women. Risa is both his teacher and his traumatic "first time." Mikako is simultaneously Ritsu's friend (with huge benefits) and Risa's younger sister. They become deeply involved with each other upon Mikako's suggestion, who takes control of the relationship.
There's a history of abuse, incestuous attraction and an extremely complicated power dynamic underlying the makings of this unusual romance... and yet, the visual novel candidly ignores all of it, for the bafflement and chagrin of anyone reading it.
Aoi Tori is a game defined by its unwillingness to tackle its own subjects, and the way it fumbles this particular route is especially irritating. However, I will say that the moment-by-moment interactions between the lovers is genuinely nice, wholesome and convincingly erotic, both in and out of the threesomes. You would have to completely ignore the inherent issues at the base of their partnership to fully enjoy it - much like how the narrative already does.
Shuuji, Kana and Iroha (How to Raise a Wolf Girl by Sweet & Tea)
A short Slice of Life VN with a supernatural hook and a surprising polyamorous twist, right at the end. The game has two romantic options in the form of childhood sweetheart, Kana, and wolf cutie, Iroha. Your general assumption would be that choosing to sexually pursue one heroine may preclude you from doing the same with the other. That didn't turn out to be the case. Main character Shuuji is able to freely get it on with both girls at the same time. No plot restrictions whatsoever.
In a somewhat unexpected turn of events, he doesn't die a million deaths for being a two-timing bastard. Instead, the three of them come to a deeper understanding of each other (they have sex) and decide to simply be together. Regardless of how self-indulgent a male power fantasy it may be, with the guy essentially being rewarded for his dishonesty, I love the idea of Free Love as the true ending of a romance story. Polyamory is the inarguable solution to the harem problem, as you'll soon see.
Be sure to get the 18+ version of this title or you shall miss most of that key interaction.
Ader, Sep and Eina (The Hayseed Knight by Maxi Molina)
The Hayseed Knight is a furry, queer, fantasy tale of unconventional love starring horny characters, characters with horns and horny characters with horns - not necessarily in that order. Ader-sing is a hapless yet good-hearted farm boy who accidentally charms his way into the bedchambers of Sep, the best girl in town. His boss, Eina (the other best girl in town), is also crushing hard on him; the fact he's willing to punch a guy for repeatedly misgendering her and face prison time for it definitely helps his appeal.
Much like the previous visual novel in this list, the true ending leads to polyamory, but it's not a mere bonus feature. The interwoven relationship between the trio is the pillar around which the narrative is built.
This is a highly produced, stylistically rich, seven years long passion project driven primarily by one person. The effort and love on display are staggering. Did I mention it's horny?
Jasmine, Berry and Cody (Bear with Us by Andrew Dickman)
The vicissitudes of a partnership between an arctic fox and two bears. As of this writing, the webcomic is still in its early stages and I don't have a fully formulated opinion on its overall quality. What I can say, based on superficial impressions, is that the art is good and the characters are lovingly designed - courtesy of animation industry veteran, Andrew Dickman. The promise of furry antics, as well as some feelings about gender and sexuality, make this one worth observing.
Sahne, Lacritz and Kinako Tamis (Slightly Damned by chu)
Slightly Damned is a twenty years running high fantasy webcomic wherein angels, demons, humans and a fourth original race, the Jakkai, mingle together in a world wrought by conflict. Amidst these many denizens, we find an unconventional family unit: the demons Sahne and Lacritz together with the angel Kinako as well as her son Tirol, whom they are raising together. The Tamis are relatively minor characters in this setting but their shared bond symbolizes that hope for coexistence that lies at the thematic and emotional core of the entire work. There is a non-zero chance that polyamory might be in the future for the actual main characters but, as of this article, that is yet to be canonically ordained - unless you count the author's own "fan-art."
Nevertheless, Slightly Damned is a loudly, proudly queer narrative about found families and overcoming differences. The Tamis serve as a strong reminder that love is achievable even in a world overtaken by hate.
The Rentaro Family (The 100 Girlfriends Who Really, Really, Really, Really, REALLY Love You)
I am awestruck. Dumbfounded, even. To think, I almost missed out on this absolute phenomenon.
What we have here is a bold, refreshing addition to an otherwise historically trite category of rom-com, built atop a foundation of old tropes but reshaped in such a manner that it outright abandons its presumed genre. Because, you see, The 100 Girlfriends may appear to you as a quirky, self-aware Harem parody series, and that is certainly how it was advertised, but the truth is far more compelling. This is not, in fact, a Harem franchise. I would not even necessarily call it a spoof. This is a glorious polyamory power fantasy!
Rentaro has been unsuccessfully asking girls out since kindergarten. Upon being rejected for the 100th consecutive time, God himself appears before him out of a wishing shrine and proclaims he's getting an equal sum of actual, honest-to-goodness soulmates! Wow!
The catch is that he has to cherish every single one of his future partners lest they literally die for whatever reason. Thus begins this improvised giga-chad's quest to unconditionally fall in love with tons of enthusiastically reciprocating girlfriends, leading to the formation of the world's largest polycule!
This is a funny, silly yet shockingly sincere comedy, smoothly nudged between meta-textual humour, pop-cultural references and wonderfully corny character dynamics. Our guy isn't simply collecting girls as if they were pokémon, in spite of how ridiculously large his family gets. He sincerely adores all his lovers and gets energized by being an attentive boyfriend. His partners are equally fleshed out, with their own intertwining chemistry, ongoing gags and arcs. Overall, this relationship is founded on trust, mutual appreciation and consent.
Fret not, this is still a horny series so there is plenty of fan-service to be had. The Ultimate Tsundere and the Big Breasted Pervert have "accidentally" Frenched and 69'd each other on multiple occasions. The "mommy" of the group (whom is also, literally, a mother) has more unsavoury fetishes than there are stars in the sky! There's a mad scientist loli who can change her body shape, an intensely masochistic baseball player, and more. You are definitely getting an unhealthy serving of delicious cheesecake here.
However, all the typical Harem show high jinks do hit differently when every member of the cast is happy to be involved with everyone, as opposed to being stuck in the role of rivals vying for the attention of a perennially undecided doofus - like in any other number of rom-com slop.
At the end of the day, this is a story about a community of people who deeply care for each other, who are given a place to be themselves, to express their weirdness without judgment, strengthening their bonds as a result.
The 100 Girlfriends Who Really, Really, Really, Really, REALLY Love You was originally a manga written by Rikito Nakamura, illustrated by Yukiko Nozawa and serialized by Weekly Young Jump since 2019. It was adapted into an anime by Bibury Animation Studios. As of this publishing, two seasons worth of episodes have been released with a third one already announced. I'm only caught up with the animation, meaning that Rentaro's total girlfriend count is a "mere" 11.
I believe we may have found our next One Piece, my fellow freaks.
Edmond, Isabelle and Andrè (Le Roi d’Yvetot by Jean Renoir)
We conclude on a sobering note.
Jean Renoir (1894-1979) is one of the most influential and celebrated French directors of the 20th century. A cinematic pioneer, lead inspiration for the French New Wave movement (La Nouvelle Vague) and a film academy's perennial darling. He was fascinated by the potential of cinema, that which is fictional, untrue, as a vehicle to capture the emotional truth of people. A rejection of melodramatic conventions in favour of an as-authentic-as-possible portrayal of humanity in direct, purposeful contrast to the fictitious nature of the medium. That is but an extremely abridged summation of his general priorities as a filmmaker.
Le Petit Théâtre de Jean Renoir was an anthology film released in cinemas in 1975. It was comprised of four shorts originally made for television and broadcast in 1970. The framing device has Renoir himself introducing his stories as if they were plays - the theatre being his favourite meta-textual allusion. This would be his final work before his passing.
Le Roy d'Yvetot is the last short in the anthology and, effectively, his last film ever. It's the story of how an episode of cuckoldry turned into a polygamous arrangement. Edmond, a retired man, discovers that his younger wife, Isabelle, has been cheating on him with the local veterinarian, Andrè. In what would have been considered a bold subversion to an otherwise well-known trope, the old husband negotiates a ménage à trois with his lady and her lover.
He had to overcome a lot of inner turmoil as well as the fear of being derided by the townspeople but, eventually, he realized that none of that mattered. He loved his wife too much to let infidelity get in the way of happiness. Everyone's happiness, that is.
Jean Renoir's parting gift to the world of cinema is an understatedly bold depiction of romance liberated from the confines of monogamous drama. It is progressive in its self-assertion and human in its characterization, much like all of his filmography.
The French basically invented polyamory!
I was not exaggerating when I stated this was going to be a depressingly small list. These were all the media I was able to scrounge from the ether, not as a result of a focused research but, rather, as accidental discoveries. The idea for this article initially came to me as I was blindsided by How to Raise a Wolf Girl with its Not-A-Harem ending. By that point, I had unknowingly amassed a catalogue in the back of my mind. Then, as if to punctuate my recent musings, I reminisced about my film studies and good old Jean Renoir popped into memory. Inspiration struck, and here we are.
The reason why I'm saying this is because I believe, nay, I know that there is more polyamory to be experienced in the vast land of artistic expression. I know it in my gut, in my heart and in all of my bones. I started writing this basically on a whim but, by the end of it, I became emotionally invested. I wanted to emphasize that, while relatively scant, representation for it could be found and enjoyed. Furthermore, I hope against hope to get some manner of ball rolling.
On that note, I pass the aforementioned ball to you, dear reader. Do you know of any other work of fiction/media that tackles polyamory or features a genuine portrayal thereof? Then, by all means, reblog this post with your own entries. Help me make this sad, tiny list slightly less tiny and sad. Pass it on, make it bigger, tell your friends, tell your roommates, tell your lovers, tell your partner's spouse and their roommate lovers who are also your friends!
Is it cringeworthy to ask for reblogs? That's for the court to decide!
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Special thanks to my friend Cooper (https://www.tumblr.com/funkyalienz) for proof-reading the introduction.
Why you should consider boycotting Microsoft: https://www.bdsmovement.net/microsoft
Also, here’s a helpful website: https://arab.org/
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