fun-size candy bars aren’t fun after you’ve eaten 37 of them
Claire Keane
Sade Olutola
Monterey Bay Aquarium
One Nice Bug Per Day

titsay
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DEAR READER
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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@funny-text-posts
fun-size candy bars aren’t fun after you’ve eaten 37 of them
one time i forced my mom to play pokemon for at least half an hour and all she did was catch a butterfree and name it lowfat
youtubers talk about The Algorithm the way people used to talk about evil spirits
I never realize how much I love my toilet until I am forced to take a shit somewhere else.
Paper has 6 sides, yet we can only use 2 of them effectively.
the other four are for bloodshed
Birthday sex is celebrating your parents having sex by having sex
when ur writing the date on february 1st and you almost write the wrong month
Idk why I laughed so hard at this
“Darth” is to Sith lords what “Lil” is to rappers.
Darth Wayne
Lil Plagueis
I guess cats aren’t so cold after all
Playing dumb is a survival mechanism every woman u ever seen acting dumb is not actually dumb
u think i’m CUTE?! send me $3000
When you get a friend to print the boarding slip
you ever turn yourself slowly under the shower like a rotisserie chicken to evenly distribute the warmth