Hilarious Text Posts

Abby, she/her. Just a collection of posts that will hopefully put a smile on your face.

[pharmersonly]

me when i engage with something that i know is gonna piss me off: wow that pissed me off

[circusheart]

If I keep practicing I might even be a person soon

[berrycobbler]

it's so hardcover –> we're so paperback

[librarylurker]

this post is making me pronounce hardcover in a way i never considered

[judasisgayriot]

DJ dubcon hopes everyone in the club is having a good time tonight but he’s not going to check

[cucurb]

hey guysss so unfortunately the rumors are true and im leaving the narrative. Buttt the good news is my absence will create such a gaping hole in your lives that it will become a sort of presence itself, and so in a way it will kind of be like i never left! But i am. Leaving just to be clear.

[rainydaymay]

Being high has me saying things like “I like friends” as if it’s some profound relization

[probuccalfat]

staying silly is all i got left like i got no money no prospects i’m a burden to my parents and i’m frightened

[headspace-hotel]

"subtext" and "buttsex" being anagrams of each other is an example of order and harmony in the universe

[peachfromcmbyn]

They call me Cracker Jack because I'm white and there's popcorn inside me.

[micromontage]

when it wasn't meant to be 🤣🤣 but the potential of possibility still plagues you 🤔

[cartoonrival]

im completely addicted to Open Link in New Tab

[slutdge]

"make an account to-"

[tockthewatchdog]

[yaoiblackmold]

I don't have time for sex, I'm too busy running a blog that only 11 or 12 people care about

[2peachy]

[loveridden1999]

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

you can know the punchline but you can’t stop it from punching you.

[mighty-meerkat]

i do also feel the need to add that phil8248 really liked the joke. he said his wife had always had a dark sense of humour, even about her illness and death, and seeing the joke made him feel like he was laughing with her one last time.

[moonlitstargazer]

[kosmogrl]