The Signs Are More Real Than Your Dreams

♊️☀️| ♍️🌙| ♐️rising | Humor | send requests pls | I also like theatre so don't be surprised if you see those posts k

[cowboysuggest]

are gemini cowboys valid?

sure! snakes are a big part of cowboy culture :)

[wolchefant]

[funnyastrology]

I feel offended

[shitthesignssay]

The Signs on Christmas Morning

Aries

Taurus

Gemini

Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

[jupitersmusings]

literally me

[shitthesignssay]

[funnyastrology]

oof almost abandoned this blog for good

[throwbackblr]

The Ren & Stimpy Show

[funnyastrology]

me talking astrology to my friends like

[funnyastrology]

The signs on Christmas morning

Aries: wakes up at 5 AM, jumps on parents and siblings to wake them up, and proceeds to have energy drinks throughout the day

Taurus: stays home all day and enjoys new presents

Gemini: opens presents, and tells everyone they know what they got for Christmas, enjoys gifts for 5 minutes at a time

Cancer: SIPS HOT CHOCOLATE WHILE OPENING GIFTS, and it's a Christmas miracle that the presents aren't spilled on!

Leo: vLoGmAs need I say more

Virgo: will rage if they didn’t get the ONE THING they wanted but overall totally okay

Libra: tries too hard convincing smol kids in their family that Santa exists

Scorpio: *screams at everyone Bc it's LITERALLY. 5. AM.*

Sagittarius: YAYYAYAYAYY CHRISTMAS!!!1!!1!11!!! okay but fr sag is probably hungover from Christmas Eve (if legal age…?) so they’re probably not physically thrilled but mentally? Heck yeah

Capricorn: *groans* *realizes its Christmas* *groans some more, but actually leaves bed to open presents, then goes back to bed*

Aquarius: watches A Christmas Story while opening gifts

Pisces: eats all the sweets, no regrets, plays Christmas movies in the background

[walterwhitemediocrity]

[funnyastrology]

The signs…

Me: Taurus, Cancer, Sagittarius, Pisces

Just end the damn sentence: Aries, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn

Semicolons: GEMINI, Leo, Libra, Aquarius

[funnyastrology]

Colleg

The signs in college (also the reason for my disappearance)

Aries: eats vegan first week of college, then it’s 300% carbs after that

Taurus: sweatpants and Starbucks

Gemini: wHO NEEDS STUDYING when you can socialize 24/7

Cancer: has terrible roommates

Leo: SMOKE WEED EVERY DAY jk they make a PayPal claiming how bankrupt they are and actually have money in college

Virgo: *cries if they get an A-*

Libra: actually succeeds in college without being ~*too*~ sleep deprived

Scorpio: BOOZE. Need I say more?

Sagittarius: parties instead of doing hw

Capricorn: 1-800-suicide hotline (in all seriousness call em if you depressed)

Aquarius: *uses meal swipes religiously*

Pisces: copes with stress by crying and binge watching Netflix

[funnyastrology]

Yooooo I know this isn't my usual textpost stuff, but I made a thing today It's a really neat thing It's my birth chart I got it from astro.com a long time ago (favorite site for birth charts 😍), and found the zodiac sign logos online, and created this masterpiece (is it good though?) Pls give me some feedback I feel like it may be too transparent but I don't care about the nitty gritty details of the chart

[funnyastrology]

The signs on their birthday 🎉🎁

Aries: hangs out with ppl all day Taurus: the one birthday person who opens up all the cards and presents instantly Gemini: HEY Y'ALL GUESS WHO'S BIRTHDAY IT IS???? Cancer: *gets cake…* Leo: *parties all night* Virgo: I MUST LOOK MY BEST TODAY. Libra: the one birthday person who gives everyone cupcakes at school Scorpio: *constantly groans about feeling older until everyone leaves* Sagittarius: *gets cake… and ice cream* 🍰🍦 Capricorn: …another year older. #depression Aquarius: special b-day drinks 🥂 Pisces: *cries at all who wish them happy birthday*

[ruinedchildhood]

[funnyastrology]

These signs would totally do this: GEMINI, Scorpio, cancer, libra, Leo

[grawly]

[funnyastrology]

END THIS MONSTROSITY

[funnyastrology]

The signs as Windows XP things

Aries: 3D pinball Taurus: Microsoft office programs Gemini: word art Cancer: the cloudy skies and field background Leo: comic sans Virgo: "error" pop-up Libra: "windows is shutting down" song Scorpio: spider solitaire Sagittarius: gradients Capricorn: the clip from Microsoft office Aquarius: chess Pisces: windows xp logo

[funnyastrology]

What the signs are doing late at night (not sleeping, bc that's boring for this post)

Aries: Netflix Taurus: Instagram Gemini: Thinking about random stuff Cancer: Crying over day Leo: Singing somewhat quietly Virgo: Snapchatting others Libra: Lying wide awake Scorpio: Getting mad at idiots on the internet Sagittarius: Reading random stuff Capricorn: Overthinking and feeling sad Aquarius: Photoshopping randomness Pisces: Daydreaming

[funnyastrology]

The signs on MLK day

"YAY FREEDOM YAY EQUALITY YAY LESS RACISM": Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces

"…pointless.": none bc all the signs are good people or else

[funnyastrology]

New Years' Resolution for 2017:

Remember to add in ALL the signs before posting 😅😅 Isn't the retrograde almost over though?

[funnyastrology]

The signs on New Years Eve

*goes to bed at 9 PM*: Pisces, Cancer, Taurus

PAARTTYY UNTIL 5 AM BOII: Aries, Aquarius, Leo, Scorpio

*passes out at 12: 01 AM: Virgo, Capricorn, LIBRA oops I'm a fool

All of the above, somehow: GEMINI, Sagittarius GOSH HOW IS THIS POST GETTING SO MANY NOTES DESPITE LEAVING OUT TWO SIGNS