Shit the Signs Say

Life’s too short to cry about your damn zodiac sign: an astrological humor blog for anyone tired of traditional ass kissing horoscopes.

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We do not own The Lego Movie or the characters in it. This set was created using the personalities of the characters and not their stated date of birth.

-Shit the Signs Say

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[Looking for another tv show, movie or book?]

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Zodiac Media Posts

Which Pop Culture Characters Have Your Zodiac Sign?

(500) Days of Summer

Clockwork Orange

Adventure Time

Aladdin

American Dad

American Horror Story: Coven

American Psycho

Animal Crossing

Archer

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Awkward.

Batman

Beatles Songs

BeetleJuice

Beyonce Songs

Black Butler

Bob’s Burgers

Breaking Bad

Bridesmaids

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Carrie

Christmas Movie Characters

Codename: Kids Next Door

Confessions of a Shopaholic

Corpse Bride

Courage the Cowardly Dog

Danisnotonfire & AmazingPhil

Disney Astrology (Disneystrology)

Disney Princesses

Doctor Who

Downton Abbey

Drake & Josh

Ed, Edd n Eddy

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Fairly Odd Parents

Fall Out Boy Songs

Family Guy

The Fault in Our Stars

Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends

Friends

Frozen

Full House

Futurama

Game of Thrones

Gilmore Girls

Glee

Gone Girl

The Great Gatsby

Halloweentown

Hannibal

Harold and Maude

Harry Potter Characters

Hercules

Hetalia

Hey Arnold

High School Muscial

Hocus Pocus

Hogwarts Houses

Howl’s Moving Castle

Hunger Games

Invader Zim

The Iron Giant

Jenna Marbles

Junie B. Jones

Junjou Romantica

The Kardashians

Katy Perry Songs

Legally Blonde

LEGO Movie

The Little Vampire

Lord of the Rings

The Magic School Bus

Mario Kart

Mean Girls

Modern Family

Monster House

Monsters Inc

Moonrise Kingdom

Moulin Rouge

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

The Nanny

Naruto

New Girl

Nightmare Before Christmas

The Notebook

The Office

Orange is the New Black

Ouran High School Host Club

Panic! At the Disco Songs

Parks and Recreation

Peanuts

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Ponyo

Pretty Little Liars

Pride & Prejudice

Psycho

Regular Show

RENT

Rise of the Guardians

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Romeo & Juliet

Rugrats

Scary Godmother

Scott Pilgrim

Scrubs

Sekai Ichi Hatsukoi

Series of Unfortunate Events

Sex and the City

Sherlock (BBC)

Silver Linings Playbook

The Simpsons

Skins (UK 1st Gen)

South Park

Space Dandy

Spiderman

Spirited Away

Spongebob Squarepants

Supernatural

Tangled

Teen Titans

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

That’s So Raven

Titanic

Totally Spies

Twitches

UP

Victorious

Walking Dead

White Collar

Wilfred

Winnie the Pooh

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We do not own The Fairly Odd Parents or any of its characters. This set was created using the personalities of the characters and not their stated dates of birth.

-Shit the Signs Say

[Looking for another tv show, movie or book?]

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The Zodiac Sign's Anaconda Don't Want None Unless...

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Aries- they can chase you first…and maybe light you on fire (just an idea)

Taurus- you’re cooking dinner and doing the dishes after

Gemini- you can keep up with the conversation they’re bound to have during

Cancer- their mom isn’t home and it’s between 3-5 pm when the cooking network plays reruns

Leo- you follow them on instagram and never mention this in public

Virgo- they can read you the list of reasons why their anaconda is superior to all others

Libra- you acknowledge that their anaconda is being politically correct in choosing you for having a great personality and not your outwardly appearance like many horoscopes suggest

Scorpio- you sign this waiver handing over your rights

Sagittarius- you can give them some breathing room afterwards

Capricorn- it’s on the specified days of the year where their calendar allows it for a reasonable amount of time

Aquarius- they’re bored and you seem interesting

Pisces- you wanna cuddle after and watch Glee

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We do not own Orange is the New Black or the characters in it. This set was created using the personalities of the characters and not their stated date of birth.

-Shit the Signs Say

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[Looking for another tv show, movie or book?]

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Alternative Love-y Songs for the Signs

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Aries- Something Good Can Work by Two Door Cinema Club

Taurus- Cigarette Daydreams by Cage the Elephant

Gemini- Lessons in Love by Neon Trees

Cancer- Toothpaste Kisses by the Maccabees

Leo- Love Me Dead by Ludo

Virgo- Here Comes Your Man by Pixies

Libra- The Art Teacher by Rufus Wainwright

Scorpio- The Jeep Song by the Dresden Dolls

Sagittarius- Move You by Anya Marina

Capricorn- I Can’t Decide by Scissor Sisters

Aquarius- Stuck on the Puzzle by Alex Turner

Pisces- Lovefool by The Cardigans

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Also titled “how 2 be a condescending ass horn”

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*Taurus

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Why your Sign’s Blog Was Marked As Explicit

(My blog was actually marked explicit this morning and then reinstated. Maybe direct the search toward actual nazis and illegal content and Tumblr will be a place that doesn’t get removed from the freakin app store. This used to be a place people wanted to be and felt save to express themselves. If you lose those people, you lose what makes you viable: earn or die, Tumblr. )

Aries- You posted porn. You did it. Tumblr doesn’t like that any more. Bad, you, having desires.

Taurus- We looked in your likes and had to bleach the fucking computer.

Gemini- Your searches were freaking out the staff and you were labeled explicit for the greater good.

Cancer- Furry images? No? Just your cat? Still explicit.

Leo- You reported yourself to feel included. It’s okay, I won’t tell. Wait…

Virgo-  You stood up for someone that was being bullied and that just really irked the Tumblr staff. Enjoy Hell, explicit one.

Libra- Someone was jealous as fuck of your art and reported you like a nasty lil shithead

Scorpio- You’re good, no problems here. Continue browsing. Not explicit at all.

Sagittarius- An innocent picture of a forest with inspirational text actually came from a blog run by a white supremacist

Capricorn- Staff was just having too good of a time selecting explicit content and you got caught up in the fun.

Aquarius- I thought Tumblr said NSFW writing was okay? No. You’re still in trouble.

Pisces- We launched your filth blog into fucking space.

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People are asking for the MBTI, so here ya go!

Source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/485122191081501587/

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We do not own Frozen or any of its characters. This set was created using the personalities of the characters and not their stated dates of birth.

-Shit the Signs Say

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We do not own Hocus Pocus or any of its characters. This set was created using the personalities of the characters and not their stated dates of birth.

-Shit the Signs Say

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What pick-up line should I use on the signs?

Aries

Taurus

Gemini

Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

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