home of funny bido art

fullmetal alchemist comics by @spidermanifested starring bido of the devils nest. also an askblog when the mood strikes

[funnybido]

separate post for it! i have made an official funnybido discord for both this blog and just general bido content, if you want to join the Most Niche Discord Server Ever please drop by in >>here<<

send me a screenshot of a receipt of a recent donation to a palestinian or sudanese gofundme, or an esim purchase, and ill doodle you an fma character of your choice!

[funnybido]

I am reblogging the poll in spirit but i also know most my followers would automatically vote kakashi bcs of etho before scrolling down to my tags </3

your support is cherished nevertheless.... i had never heard of this man before this poll, but he recently haunts and vexes me because the concept of voting for any character over scar fma because they know them from Youtuber Minecraft Skin makes me want to go bald and start scuttling around in peoples kitchens. (shakes my fist at the sky) back in my day we would NOT have done that for william riker from star trek. that was a DIFFERENT GUY from xephos the spaceman

(i also maintain there should be an equal volume of baffling minecraft youtuber association power for scar for being named scar, and i do know that theres one of those guys named scar, because one time i got tricked by someones tags on a post saying that they drew scar fat and briefly i lived in an awesome & beautiful world before it collapsed around me forever 😔)

[whitehairandtraumatized-bracket]

White Hair and Trauma Brawl SEMIFINAL 1

Scar (Fullmetal Alchemist) vs Kakashi Hatake (Naruto)

Scar

Kakashi Hatake

Voting ended onApr 17

(the other semifinal has no animanga characters in it, so this is also the competition for the ultimate white hair and trauma anime man, if you like!)

remember, voting is based on swag, trauma, and favoritism!!

trauma and propaganda under the cut!

Trauma!

Scar: “tldr survived a genocide”

“survivor of a military genocide of his people”

“His entire culture got attacked in a massive war, he himself got badly wounded and only survived because his older brother sacrificed his own life to safe him and the efforts of two doctors in an emergency clinic. He ended up killing them after he found out about his brother and becasue they belonged to the enemy nation.

This does goes against his religion by the way.”

Awesome thorough trauma summary from @spidermanifested:

“scar (not his real name) was a warrior-priest who grew up in the fictional occupied desert region of ishval at the turn of the 20th century with his parents and older brother. he was a devoutly religious man with a strong moral compass and didnt approve of his brother studying alchemy, which the ishvalan religion forbade.

near the end of the genocide, a state alchemist of the western-european-coded amestrian army bombed and killed the brothers' parents in front of them while they were all preparing to flee their neighborhood. scars arm was caught in the explosion. before he could bleed out, his older brother used alchemy to transplant his own arm in its place, presumably dying himself shortly afterward.

the following only takes place in the manga and the brotherhood anime, and ill touch on the first animes version of events later, but sometime after this is when the amestrian medics (mentioned in the propaganda above) found scar and relocated him. he woke up in a crowded field hospital, and through the blood-loss-concussion-just-woke-up-etc fog he saw his own arm in his periphery, recognized his brothers tattoos, and thought, oh, my brother is here! he must have survived!

so the situation is not "scar realized his brother was dead, got mad and killed the doctors". its "scar realized what hed assumed was his full, alive brother was instead his brothers Disembodied Limb. -> Attached To Him? -> Oh My God What Did They Do To My Brothers Body. What Did They Do To MY Body". and then he had a panic attack and lashed out, like anyone with the strength to do so would have done, because fascists just killed his whole family, he was trapped on a cot in an unfamiliar room surrounded by white strangers and blood, and his first waking realization was that his body had been violated by the exact same process that, again. killed his family

and tbf im sure whoever submitted the propaganda just didnt think about it for very long, because if you ask me the source material doesnt do much better. fma (manga/brotherhood) seems to try to narratively parallel scar killing the doctors, and subsequently (and with a lot more actual intent) a bunch of state alchemists, as revenge for the genocide. with... the genocide in question? or at the very least, the actions of the handful of Sad soldiers who feel Bad about what they did (genocide). as part of a larger thesis about "hate" and "responsibility for past harm" and "cycles of violence". which is already a bad place to start

but then, UNLIKE any of said soldiers, scars arc culminates in being roundly berated by a bunch of the main cast and absorbing it without complaint, to prove hes willing to Atone. and they all STILL proceed to complain and call him a killer the entire time they have to work with him. genuinely the worst part of the show. its not like everyone on screen regularly interacts relatively cordially with roy mustang, the guy with the world record for "most helpless civilians burnt to death", or anything

which leads me to circle back around to the 2003 adaptation: having watched both shows i was blown away by how much more sympathy and understanding scar is granted by those writers. they largely dont shy away from his violence, but one major difference is they dont cast him as having killed the doctors. instead its the aforementioned roy mustang who killed them, and theres a very telling gap in the way fans assign blame and agency depending on the version being discussed. for whatever mysterious reason, scar catches more flack for killing winrys parents with an iv pole in a fit of panic than mustang does for killing them both with a gun on purpose because Orders.

even in the manga/brotherhood, theres so much depth to scar that goes understated. his being forced to inherit his brothers arm and its destructive power, something hes always wanted to reject but can no longer afford to, is really illustrative of how aware hes been made to become of his own capacity for violence, how deliberately he has to decide where and when to use that violence in a world so unthinkingly and unceasingly violent towards him. and fma 03 clearly recognized that exact premise, because as a result you have a show from 23(!!) years ago that dissects and denies the phantasm of the scary brown religious "terrorist". i think we should all strive to clear the same bar when we talk about characters whose lives closely parallel real colonial atrocities, because it definitely reflects how we think and talk about the real thing. scar should sweep this whole poll as well but thats a given”

Kakashi: “father committed suicide when he was a child. he was a child soldier in a brutal war. everyone on his team died, one by one, and each time he had a reason to blame himself. one of them literally killed herself using him as the weapon. did I mention the child soldier thing.”

“so so much its been so long since ive read Naruto but hes pretty up there in traumatic moments”

“Kakashi's father killed himself while Kakashi was still a kid, and left him alone because his mom was already dead. While dealing with his difficult feelings about it, he ended up on a mission that killed his teammate pretty horrifically. He lost his eye on that mission too, and replaced it with the eye of his teammate. He's literally actually died but the plot wouldn't let him rest and brought him back. He's had to train the son of his deceased mentor and a member of the same clan that his teammate who gave him the eye, which probably didn't feel great. Kakashi's really been through it and I haven't even finished the show yet, so there's probably more!”

---(Note: Kakashi has had so much propaganda added to his polls that for the sake of post length and my sanity, I have only included the ones that were written reblogs instead of tags:)

“I said everything under the sun here: https://www.tumblr.com/ripitachi/811418735987638272/hang-on-now-i-can-do-one-of-those-for-kakashi

But this ☝️ touches on the very end of the war arc, which I breezed thru bc it's honestly boring I'm sorry 😭 But the one thing I did totally forget and also isn't mentioned above, so, the red eye he gets "gifted" from his apparently dying buddy.... when they go to war 20+ years later, they rip that thing outta his head all over again. Again bc it's war arc it's ...pretty stupid and Naruto is laughably overpowered and he just holds his hand over his eye socket and just magically creates a new eyeball..... But still. He lost his eye as a child, got gifted a replacement, had it drain his chakra for decades before the guy who gave it to him and his evil boss decide "hey I need that actually" and then they rip it out of his head ....... Mind you, one of Kakashi's monikers is "Kakashi of the Sharingan" bc he made his name for himself mastering its ability to discern jutsu and is now known as Dude Who Can Do Pretty Much Everything.... and now he no longer has that sharingan. Not huge in the grand scheme of his trauma, but having your eye stolen for the sake of killing you with it (bonus points that it's become synonymous with your identity) is kinda harsh”

+ Writeup about his trauma with pictures

+ @00technocolor00 sent us an ask directing people to this post about Kakashi

Propaganda!

Scar: “he's the best <3 my fav serial killer”

“Kills people by just touching and then disassembling them. Has killed multiple state alchemist and has even fought homunculi. He really likes cats.”

Kakashi: “he's got a neat mask” 

“Look at him. He's so cool.”

From @reineyday “oh friend killer kakashi. chuunin at 6, jounin at 12 and anbu at 13 😔

carrying his father's suicide with him as well as his inability to save his mentor or do anything abt the kid they left behind

watched one of his anbu team members who was even younger than him go off the rails and murder his ENTIRE family. except for one (1) kid that kakashi then had to mentor and then THAT kid ALSO went off the rails

nobody's tried and failed harder than u 😔👊”

[spidermanifested]

happy bidos official birthday (as determined by me) to those who observe (aka me)

[spidermanifested]

does it feel less like prison when you watch them right back

[funnybido]

if any of my followers want to check out another comic artist whos playing around with limited color palettes: @chiyaburro has been doing a series for a shinylocke run in heartgold/soulsilver and its incredible stuff. just really really good. funnybido seal of approval

[funnybido]

i should probably mention im doing artfight this year huh

Art Fight

An art gifting game

i have a couple fma ocs but i ALSO have au bido and greed up there. So. In case anybody wants to strike me dead in one blow

[spidermanifested]

another ad for walksprites! would you like me to make a Character (original or otherwise) into a little guys such as above for you. Well youre in luck

You Will Receive

usable spritesheet ft all 4 directions of walking

transparent gifs, sized up cleanly to preserve pixels, any particular size available on request

extra animations even if you have ideas for those! ($5 per frame, same as base rate)

somebody to talk to about The Character

my eternal gratitude

my discord is also spidermanifested. ocs featured belong to @bixebite and @kagemorijin !!

[spidermanifested]

beds

[funnybido]

please excuse the quality i made this with my photos app draw tool. Homage to 03 scar and his wikipedia powers

[spidermanifested]

okay ive got to get this post out before april fools day so everyone knows this is important and serious information. i believe ive solved a mystery that i might have been the only person on earth who ever cared about and im taking you with me on this journey

For the uninitiated (aka people who have never looked at my blog in their whole life). there is this character called bido from fullmetal alchemist. hes greeds friend and goon and he shows up in like 5 chapters. he looks like this

and if youve never seen him before you are going to be baffled to find out that a large percentage of people who even bother remembering him seem to genuinely believe that he is a young child. and this goes beyond your regular fandom infantilization. i have had people comment on my very own posts, telling me "but wait, i thought bido was a kid".

for years i did not know how this misconception was even possible (look at him), let alone get so widespread, but that might be because the chiefest example of it exists... in the scanlation thats up on most "read free manga" websites. Aka; the one most people these days are reading. perhaps this is the mother of all other bido-child-takes. we may not ever know.

but either way, that scanlation team apparently decided at some point in their workflow, that not ONLY was bido a kid, but it made sense to have an ACTUAL kid* (*15-year-old) call him one. which at that point just feels like rubbing salt in the wound like come on

anyway the first time i checked the original dialogue to compare, i didnt know much japanese, but i was still pretty confident there was zero basis for the mistranslation. this scenes official translation makes no reference to bidos age, and aside from the obvious factor of "are you fucking serious just look at him", there was an ACTUAL reference to his age in the japanese dialogue of an earlier chapter; alphonse calls him "ojisan". which... surely the scanlation team would have seen. if they were translating the manga. but i guess it would be easy to forget a chapter you read that long ago if you arent similarly enamored of every detail regarding one of the least present background characters

Still. it seems like such a weird and out of nowhere choice to make and there didnt seem to be any reason for it. even replacing dialogue with lord of the rings quotes has a clear and almost understandable motivation (hubristically riding the coattails of sam and frodos legendary romance). so WHY did they just suddenly up and decide this bald middle aged man was some kind of precocious Crime Baby.

well in the past couple years i have learned a little bit more japanese. & since last night i think i have found the answer.

heres the original dialogue again, and then here it is simplified for one of the official video games.

"ビドーとやらが言ってた事も", aka, "and the stuff we heard bido say".

"言ってた事も", pronounced "いってたことも", aka "itteta koto mo".

Except. if you arent reading too closely, or your image quality sucks, and you mistake the と (to) for a ど (do).

言ってたこども*..............

*translators note: koto mo means "and stuff". kodomo means child.

i cannot stress this enough. the kanji for "koto" is right there on the page. this mistake would only happen if somebody was ONLY looking at the furigana and not even doing a good job of that. how did they get it this wrong. how did nobody second guess it. i know that scanlators are mostly a bunch of hobbyists trying their best and i do not mean to disparage them as a collective. its just , that i think these specific ones should maybe be pelted with an assortment of overripe fruits for a little while, for giving me this hyperspecific grievance to suffer.

At least maybe now that ive solved the riddle the truth will prevail in time. tell your friends, or something

[sisyphrin]

one day we will have unrestrained bido fun

[funnybido]

unrestrained bido fun rescheduled for TODAY‼️‼️‼️‼️💥🦎💥🦎💥🦎

[spidermanifested]

i never managed to upload all of these in one set even after i drew 2 more and never posted them........ so at long last. for public viewing. Official Greeds Moving Castle Concept Art Compilation (Final) (Real) (Deluxe Edition)

(& loredump post for those curious)

[spidermanifested]

my job is to make you remember them and look at them and remember them. so let me know if its working

[funnybido]

(original text post)

its been a while since funny bido comic. unfortunately i keep only having ideas related to lizard sex. the great grido bedroom role reversal does not come about without some initial miscommunications

[funnybido]

another donation doodle for @baudleaires, who has a scheduled monthly donation to the palestine childrens relief fund! black hayate x2.... if you know you know 🐜

You Too can get a doodle of an fma character of your choosing, by dming me a receipt to a recent donation to a palestinian, sudanese or congolese gofundme campaign (or a relief fund like the above) 👍

[funnybido]

a falman for @littlewitchbee, who donated to this fundraiser:

Donate to Helping my family lives, organised by Doha Almosalami

Hi my name is Doha hoping we can help my family be in safe side .we lost my cousin with her wh… Doha Almosalami needs your support for Helpi

YOU TOO can send me a receipt of your donation to this or another campaign for someone affected by genocide, and ill doodle you any fma character of your choosing 👍