âĽď¸ "he can never be mine" (gojo satoru x reader)
A heartbroken Gojo uses you as a rebound after he loses his one and only best friend. It's supposed to be a meaningless night for him, but it means the world to you â even if it hurts like hell.
pairing/s: Gojo Satoru x Female!Reader, implied Gojo Satoru x Geto Suguru (SatoSugu)
cw/s: 18+, rebound relationships, one-sided love, friends with benefits (but you're developing feelings), sexual themes, fingering, penatrative sex, angst, etc.
You let Gojo use you as a rebound.
You heard about what happened with his best friend â his proclaimed one and only â and how Geto Suguru is now a Curse User sentenced to death.
You heard about Gojo confronting the fallen sorcerer in the busy streets of Shinjuku, yelling in unrestrained rage and desperation at a man who has already chosen his resolve.
And, just an hour ago, you heard Gojo's defeated voice â raspy, exhausted, and cracking â through the speaker of your phone. He called you so suddenly, yet you picked up a little too quickly. Satoru only spat out one sentence before static took over your brain,
He doesn't need you â at least, not in the way you want him to. However, you couldn't resist the lump of hurt encapsulated in his voice, and you relent with a resurfacing weakness that only the strongest man can elicit from you.
"...Okay, I'm home right now."
Now, you're letting Gojo use you.
You barely register the rigidness of his tall build in the doorway, for he already hastily crashes his soft lips onto yours. He's quivering, but you don't say anything, and you simply let him corner you on the wall of your apartment, pinning your body with the strength expected from him.
You try not to let your mind wander. You try to shut down any bubbling insecurity, hurt, and any emotion resembling the horrible curse of love. It's futile, and you let your body be carried to your living room couch while your head spins in simmering confusion and potent pleasure.
You love Satoru. You have loved him for quite some time now. However, you're certain he doesn't feel the same.
After all, it's Geto that he loves.
Unfortunately, Geto isn't here right now, and Satoru turns to you the moment he can no longer reach his beloved Suguru.
Gojo unlatches the buttons of your pants, pulling them down your ankles with his swift, deft hands. Despite the thin barrier of your undergarments, he messily runs his long digits on the apex of your legs, making you jolt and subconsciously whine for more.
His tinted glasses are askew on his flawless, symmetrical face, and he uses his free hand to fully get rid of the protective accessory, revealing blue eyes swimming with depravity and depths of untampered heartbreak.
He presses his weight against your body, pushing you into the mountain of pillows on your soft couch. Your mouth is intruded by his tongue, and your senses are entirely numbed by his overwhelmingly masculine scent. With that, your living room slowly starts to fill with quickened huffs of breath and short whines.
You're well aware that he's using you for your body and that you are only an appreciated distraction who should be grateful that the oh-so-powerful and handsome Gojo chose to bed you. After all, he has an entire entourage flocking him at every corner. Everyone wants a taste of the tall, well-built, and unbelievably gorgeous man. He can have anyone he wants.
Even as he runs his wide palms across your stomach while he discards all your clothing until you're left vulnerable and bare, the hurricane of doubt continues to wreck havoc in your mind; it tells you again and again:
'Satoru doesn't want you the way you want him. You're not Geto â you will never be his Suguru.'
You feel tiny clumps of tears begin to form in the corners of your eyes, but you quickly blink them away in fear of being detected by the ever-so-perceptive sorcerer. To distract yourself from your painful thoughts, you unbotton the white-haired man's uniform, and you soon palm your hands over his muscular abdomen to ground yourself.
You think he doesn't notice the conflict pooling in your eyes.
He notices each pained hiccup disguised as a quick intake of air. He notices the shakiness of your fingers that struggle to touch him with vigor. He notices the downward curl of your lips that you try to mask with a half-hearted grin.
He notices everything about you, and he can perceive the entirety of your disposition with a single fleeting glance. He thinks it's not because he's extensively attentive and caring towards you â no, it's because he's Gojo Satoru, and his eyes are too sharp to miss anything.
He abruptly pauses his ministrations and peers at you with a blank expression. You return his heavy gaze with your own bemused one, wordlessly prompting him to say if something's wrong.
Gojo thinks back to the first time he met you â cheery, shy, and kind. He deemed you as his favorite underclassman before you decided to separate yourself from the bloody world of Jujutsu Sorcery. He recalls the sweets you frequently gifted him: tiny chocolates, mochi, sugary drinks, and decadent cakes.
He'd tease your bashful face as you outstretched your arm to offer him a snack, and Gojo looks back at such memories with fondness.
Unfortunately, Gojo also remembers flippantly bragging about your gifts to Suguru, telling his best friend that he isn't entirely hated by the student population and that he's actually pleasant and agreeable.
His mind is filled with memories of Suguru's exasperated face and playful nudges. His thoughts stray to youthful moments and banter, and even if you are in his dearest memories, they are only memorable because Suguru was in them too.
"I can't do this to you..."
Gojo trails off, pushing himself off of your body sprawled nakedly on the couch. Simultaneously, you are met with cool air and embarrassment, and you curl yourself into a ball as you urge yourself not to cry.
"Did Iâdid I do something wrong?"
Your small, shaky voice â which greatly contrasts the sweet confidence Gojo attributed you with â made the blue-eyed sorcerer run his hands through his shaggy locks in frustration and bubbling guilt.
He chokes out in an uncharacteristic infuriation that you've never sensed from him before, "No," he shakes his head and covers his eyes with a tense palm. "You didn't do anything wrong."
You feel your heart shrivel in excruciating pain at the harshly straightforward declaration. This is the painful rejection you felt coming the moment you saw how Gojo and Geto looked at each other, talked to each other, and touched each other.
From the very beginning, you were fighting a losing game, yet your heart is too stupid to fully eradicate your affections for the man standing before you.
"I know," you are unable to resist the tears that start to freely flow down your cheeks. "I know I'm not who you're in love with."
You try to make yourself appear more certain, even if the words that you mutter feel like acid on your tongue. "I know what I got myself into when I agreed to this, and I don't mind." Liar, liar, liar â it hurts like hell; your chest feels like it has become an empty cavity that is void of anything but excruciating hurt.
"I know you love Geto. I know he's the only one for you," you exhale a shuddered breath as you desperately attempt to keep your gaze on the strikingly magnificent blues of Gojo's eyes.
"Damn it, Gojo. Just use me all you want," your voice unconsciously rises in frustration and incomprehensible pain. "Just fuck me."
Gojo's unmoving figure shifts so subtly that you nearly miss it. Despite the tall man's pride for letting himself appear unfazed and unreadable, you knew he felt guilt â he's the strongest, but he's still human, and based on the growing tent in his pants, you know guilt isn't the only thing he feels at the moment.
You repeat yourself with all the composure you can muster, "Just...fuck me."
The tense man towering over your bare body releases a final grunt of exasperation before he gives in and lets his body decide for him. Gojo decides that â since you're so persistent â he'll throw away his hesitance for the time being. Your sudden display of boldness made him hard, and you want it anyway, so he'll let you take accountability for the uncomfortably throbbing member in his pants.
'Just for tonight,' he thinks. 'This won't mean anything.'
As if you read his thoughts, you tell him with faux conviction, "This won't mean anything." Your eyes are dilated, not once shying away from Gojo's immensely bright ones. You find yourself on your back once more, helplessly caged between the muscled arms of the strongest sorcerer.
"Good," he mindlessly replies, as if to convince himself â or even both of you â that no long-lasting damage will occur once he takes you in such a detached manner. Gojo dives in for a kiss, and it's not the least bit gentle. He ravishes you with barely any restraint, dragging his tongue across the cavity of your gaping mouth and biting your lip until it's throbbing and red.
Your moans instantaneously permeate the air, getting louder the closer Gojo's fingers trail towards where you need him most. When he rests his palm on your lower stomach, you note how his hands feel firm yet oddly gentle, as if there was a thin barrier that prevented him from fully touching you.
Before you can comprehend the implications of Gojo's guarded nature, your entire body shakes when you feel a sudden warmth on your folds. His fingers are precise â prodding and curling inside your gummy walls as his thumb rubs circles around the hood of your clit, as if to tease you.
Your warm cunt squeezes two of his digits so tightly that Gojo groans in anticipation for what you'll feel like around his cock. Despite the nature of your arrangement, he still has the decency to properly prepare you for his girth.
He pumps his fingers into you feverishly, and his thumb finally graces your throbbing clit, flicking and rubbing in a consistent and mind-numbing tempo. His other hand spreads your thights further apart, and his bright eyes are veiled with lust once your pretty, wet pussy is fully exposed for him to see.
"God, you're so gorgeous..."
Shyness envelopes you; however, anxious thoughts linger at the back of your mind, tormenting you with the fact that Gojo will never see you as more than a good fuck. Thankfully, a harsh bite to your perky nipple sends you back to the present, and you whine lowly while Gojo circles his tongue around your breasts like a starved man.
"You ready for it, pretty girl?"
His voice is low and sultry, devoid of his usual cheeriness, and it only makes you shudder and squirm. "Please, I want it. I want you."
You want all of him, but you know you can't have him; you decide, for tonight, you'll be fine with just his cock inside you. After all, you can't have his heart.
Gojo spares you from prolonged teasing, for he is too impatient to wait until he can fully sheath himself inside your warmth. Hooking your tense legs around his waist, he aligns his tented pants to your bare pussy. With unrivaled efficiency, he unzips his trousers and pulls down his boxers, revealing a cock so pretty that it makes you drool.
He grazes his thumb over his cockhead, moaning lowly as he spreads a bead of precum over his tip. You're entirely entranced â after all, Gojo is simply drop-dead gorgeous. It takes you all your mental strength to push away your inhibitions and tighten your legs around his waist.
"Put it in," you whimper as you palm his well-defined chest, desperate for anything and everything that is Gojo. You'll take what you are given, no matter how little he can offer.
"This," Gojo huffs as his cheeks redden in anticipation. "This doesn't mean anything, alright?"
Your heart aches, but â at the moment â your pussy aches much more, so you resort to pulling him closer to you, his tip now kissing your folds, as you lie through your teeth,
"We're just going to fuck, and it'll be nothing more than that."
Gojo releases a shuddered exhale and shakes his head before finally pushing himself in. Your body curls as heat spreads through your veins. He is being painfully slow with putting it in, but you appreciate being given time to adjust to his lengthy and thick cock.
You moan in unison once he's buried to the hilt. This time, he doesn't even wait a few seconds before slamming his hips into your pelvis like a feral animal.
Your body jolts upward with each stroke, making your breasts bounce so sexily; Satoru couldn't resist wholly engulfing your perky mound with his salivating mouth, nipping and sucking as if he were insatiable. His other hand finds itself on your clit, pinching it so suddenly, making you scream in immeasurable pleasure.
His entire form exudes absolute strength; there is truly no doubt about it. Being overpowered by his mere presence makes your entire body shake and arch in all the right places. It seems that Gojo is fully aware of his effect on you, for he intently gazes deep into your eyes with his magnificently blue ones.
The intimacy of such a gesture makes you moan, and you feel unwanted thoughts etch across your mind once again.
'Don't look at me like that, or I'll fall in love with you even more,' it's the only coherent thought bubbling in your mind, for you are quickly approaching your release.
Gojo removes himself from your breast and opts to peer down at your connecting bodies. He marvels at how your slit stretches to accommodate his cock, and he feels himself twitch at how you obediently take him like his own personal slut. He releases a dry laugh at how terribly he treated you just moments prior. He always has been a blunt and disrespectful person. That's what Suguru always told him.
He growls in frustration to shake away thoughts that feature his best friend, and his apparent infuriation results in a quicker and stronger pace that leaves you silently screaming.
Gojo misses Suguru so fucking much.
His mere strength isn't enough to save him.
He doesn't want to be saved, after all.
The spiral of Gojo's distressing thoughts comes to a halt, for your yelp of pleasure helps him regain his focus. You reach your climax, and your lips are parted as you make small, sensual noises of contentment.
Your expression is overtaken by bliss as your body faintly tremors from your high. The mere sight of you is enough to make Gojo stagger in his movements. With a shaky breath, he fully burries himself in your heat, and he fills you to the brim with strong spurts of his hot cum.
His grip on your waist loosens as his cock softens inside you. Slowly pulling himself away from you, he sighs at your mixed fluids dripping from your gaping hole. Before Gojo can stand to his full height, he feels your hand gently tug at his wrist.
You're too spent to even think of the repercussions of your question. Drunk in pleasure, you forget how you told Satoru with certainty that no attachments will form after this night â this horrid, heart-wrenching yet unforgettable night.
To your disappointment, he gently shakes off your grip as he takes a few steps away from you on the couch, closer to the exit of your apartment.
"No," he keeps his cool while he dresses himself with his discarded clothing on the floor. "I still have missions to do."
"...Oh," your dejected sigh hangs in the air, and the piercing sadness returns to fill your lungs.
'This won't mean anything,' you painfully recall your untruthful assertion. Your body may feel tired and sore, but your heart continues to mercilessly etch sorrow onto your soul.
You turn away from Gojo, hoping that he won't notice your glossy eyes and silent hiccups. You don't see him stare at your back with a hidden melancholy behind a practiced poker face. You don't see him frustratingly run his hands through his hair, cursing at himself silently.
You don't see him take a hesitant half-step towards you before taking two steps away.
All you hear is an uncharacteristically quiet 'goodbye' before the sound of your apartment door opening and closing fills your home.
"Fuck," you cry to yourself. "I'm so fucking pathetic."
You curl into a ball, a messy heap atop your ruined cushions, and you cry to yourself under the luminous moonlight.
Gojo Satoru will never want you â love you â the way you want him to.
You will never be in his heart.
Someone else is already in it, after all.
a/n: I made myself feel depressed with this one. If you want, I might make a second part (maybe a happy ending can be possible for you and Gojo). For now, enjoy the angst. Reblogs and comments are much appreciated! â
