the future is waiting to be loved

vent account. 23 n disabled they/them on here

[furiotine]

·.༄࿔ i dont want to use my a name on here so you can just call me submarine, idk. any of the characters i use as vent images work too lol

🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ since this is a vent account, ill just block whoever and what i need. If you have triggers stay away I guess? I mean I'll tag stuff but its a vent account. i do /not/ kin, i just use characters i relate to as images because it makes me feel better. no minors im an ADULT. Im not talking to kids about my issues lol

🫧⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ trying my best to cope from a lot of stuff, feel free to message me, talking to others about their problems and giving advice helps me calm down, but be aware im not a therapist etc etc, i just wanna be a good friend

🪽⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ one day, finally, i will be free

[furiotine]

I don't think I could ever date someone younger than me. like even a year grosses me out. it's weird.

[furiotine]

chronic stomach pain is EVILL... I love eating out but I'm so glad to eat a normal diet. I had like 5 small bites and my stomach is terrible. It's not even like there's triggers for it lately. It's just eating anything. It sucks and is annoying

[furiotine]

physical disability got me so resentful I wish regular and other (mentally) disabled people could experience what I do just so they can stfu and get some perspective in live and improve

like adhd/autistics need to shut up. Sorry having a physical disability is way way fucking worse than a social one.

[furiotine]

I have so many people on tinder to reply to but I'm so sick over my work not replying to me. So so so sick. That's 400$+ I'm missing!! I HATE EVERYTHING DNWBWHWJ REPLY TO ME NOW!!

[furiotine]

really glad that ex friend dropped off tumblr "you said something soo meaningful"

me: well can you tell or report this person doxxing me

them: hmmm no

[furiotine]

i dont think people who dont foster (cats) is not seeing them again IS the best part. They are in their forever homes. Theyll never be with me waiting for their home again. Sure I'd love to see them again , just pictures of how their doing is wonderful. But the ideal is to never have to foster them again. They will be in their homes with their new owners all safe, thats exactly what I want. I have a moment and I hug them and I say Im never going to see them again but I'll always love them. I want them to forget about me. Im only temporary and thats the entire point. There are a few fosters I miss more than others, the one that had health problems, the one i almost kept, the fat cuddly gal. But their happy in their homes and thats all I want.

[furiotine]

so fucking tired of choinic nightmares where my school kidnapping me and wanting me back to be a student bc i wasnt good enough or messed up one thing, im so tired of it. i really wish i didnt live close to it. Same with people harassing me and trying to break into my house etc. i just wish theyd stop.

[hussyknee]

I have arrived in a stage of my life where I profoundly distrust anyone who romanticizes adoption.

[fibromyalgicaf]

Hey if you have chronic pain, you gotta remember that the cognitive load of dealing with that is exhausting. Just that alone. Never mind what else you've got going on.

You're not lazy or being dramatic; you're overloaded.

[furiotine]

so tried of "your body loves you!! your cells work for you!!" no they dont. my body is nothing more than a broken computer and I'm the user. If it loved me it wouldnt put me in horrible pain to the point where I cant function. It wouldnt make chronic pain a thing and have so many people suffer from their own bodies hurting them. i hate my body and what its done to me.

[furiotine]

i really wish i could throw my illness onto anyone. just anyone on the street anyone. i would transfer this condition to anyone in a second just so i could live a normal life. i want someone else to suffer so i can be free of this. I want to throw up black ooz into them like a horror movie and they have my illness instead of me and i am free.

[furiotine]

reminding me how my illness is incurable just makes me suicidal. i have to get better someday or die trying.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Shoutout to fellow survivors of abusive friendships. There’s friends out there who aren’t assholes and don’t try to isolate you from all your other friends I promise.

[what-even-is-thiss]

I used to think that because my abusive relationships were friendships that they didn’t count but turns out your brain reacts to bad things even if it isn’t from a family member or romantic partner.

You’re allowed to recover from these things.

[what-even-is-thiss]

I had a friend once who systematically cut me off from all my other friends through guilt and making sure I had no other support outside of her and my family while also not wanting my family to know about her and then one day she just moved away without telling me ahead of time and the last thing she said to me was “I’m not going to miss you”

And it took me YEARS to process this because it’s just your friend from school, right? Not a big deal, right?

No it was a big deal. She cut me off from all my other friends and then left me alone with nobody left to turn to. That was fucked up.

And you know what? If you’ve experienced something similar, yeah you’ve got a right to be pissed and depressed about that. Friends shouldn’t use you without giving anything in return. Friends shouldn’t isolate you. Friends shouldn’t break your shit or threaten to hurt themselves to keep you around. That’s fucked up. You deserve better than that.

[furiotine]

so tired of "the horror of a body" being gender or looking pretty etc. what about chronic pain. why is their no horror or anything ever about chronic pain in fiction.

[furiotine]

so tired of chronic pain. I know the winter makes it worse. Im going to snap soon.

[furiotine]

telling a disabled person that you would "just die, or kill yourself" if you couldn't do that is kinda prompting/promoting them to kill themselves but maybe I'm too woke