~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
summary: an idol, a college student, and a soulmate bond that drains your life force if you're apart for too long
(not proof read plz don't come for me)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It wasn’t an all nighter but it was damn near pretty close. The time currently read 4am and your first class was at 10am. Leaving yourself an hour to walk home and get ready for bed, and about another hour to wake up and get ready before class, you would be able to sleep at least 3 and a half hours. Not too bad considering some of the hours your classmates were withstanding. Packing your bag quickly and standing up even faster, you hurried out the door of the library. If you walked fast, you could maybe get an extra 15 minutes of sleep.
The winter semester was already halfway over, making it both midterm season and the season when winter couldn’t decide if it wanted to be spring yet or not. When you had walked over to the library early that afternoon, the air took on more of a spring feel -- so much so that you wore a thin jacket. But now, with the sun down and slight wind chill, you were wishing you had worn a thicker one. You pulled the sleeves tighter around your arms and continued your trudge back to your apartment.
It didn’t register at first, but after a few more steps, you realized you heard someone singing. It wasn’t a kind of angelic, am-I-going-to-Heaven kind of song either. It was a muddled, I-don’t-know-the-words-but-I’m-going-to-pretend-I-do kind of song. Maybe you were imagining things. This was your 20th hour of being awake and you had sworn off caffeine for the new year, maybe your mind was simply screaming for you to go to sleep. But as you stalked closer to the nearby neighborhood playground, the singing persisted.
A figure was slumped in one of the tubular slides, nothing but legs sticking out. A jacket lay strewn on the ground next to him and one of his shoe laces was untied.
You would have left it alone, you would have kept walking. But for some reason, you felt like you should ask if he needed help. It was too cold for someone to be out here without a jacket by themselves, and if you didn’t help him, who else would? Barely anyone else would be awake at this hour.
“Excuse me?” you called out softly, slowly approaching.
He paid no mind to you, continuing in his sing-song manner. “Country roads…”
You tried again. “Hello??”
You were regretting your saintly decision to stop. “Hey, are you okay?”
You knocked on the top of the slide as if you were knocking on a door. His singing died instantly and he sat up. Well, he tried to. He was too tall for the slide and ran into the ceiling, promptly crashing back down.
“Fuck…” he mumbled, falling limp.
“Holy shit, are you okay? I’m so sorry,” you peeked into the slide to see him holding his face. “I tried calling you earlier--”
“You’re not my manager,” the boy noted, sneaking a look at you through his fingers.
You paused. “Uhhh, no. I’m not.”
“Good, don’t tell him I’m out here.”
“Of course not,” you played along, not exactly sure what else to do in this scenario. “Why are you in the slide?”
“But you have a coat out here that you’re not wearing.”
Holy shit, you should have kept walking. The man was clearly drunk, slurring his words and not making any sense and doing an incredibly good job at making you frustrated.
“Will you sit up for me?”
It took him a second to think about it before slowly clawing his way to a sitting position. When he did, you froze. You would recognize that face anywhere. Who wouldn’t recognize that face?
He glanced up at you, squinting through the lights flooding into the park. It had been much darker in the comfort of his slide. “How do you know my name?”
Ni-ki, not just a worldwide celebrity and performer, but also the front page of every news outlet currently, was asking how you knew his name.
“Do I know you?” He asked you another question.
He drunkenly tilted his head and gave you a smile, seemingly proud of your answer.
Your mind was reeling now -- not just at the fact that Nishimura Riki was sitting and smiling in front of you, but how and why he was sitting there. He was drunk. And not the tipsy/drunk where you had a single bottle of soju. The oblivious kind where he felt 20 degrees hotter than he actually was with both shoes untied and absolutely no ability to balance. You would bet $100 he probably slammed at least four of them by himself.
You spared a glance over your shoulder, suddenly aware that this could get both of you in trouble, and bad publicity was the last thing Ni-ki needed more of.
“Do you have someone you can call?” you asked softly, squatting down in front of him and taking his undone laces into your hands.
“I can’t find my phone,” he mumbled, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know where my ph-- are you tying my shoes…?”
You froze, slowly looking up, worried that you messed up and should’ve let him trip later. “I--”
“Thanks,” he smiled again, reaching out a hand and patting your head before slumping back into the slide.
You blinked. Did he just pet you as a thank you?
A sudden sound of buzzing sliced through the air and you whipped your head around, scanning the trees and streets around you, praying no one was watching.
“Oh my God that thing keeps going off,” he groaned. “Turn it off.”
The whine in his voice was cute but you were determined to figure out where that sound was coming from. You tugged the laces one more time to make sure they wouldn’t come apart and then stood, trying to follow the sound of the buzzing to the source.
“Ni-ki, I thought you said you lost your phone,” you said, finally tracking the sound to his coat pocket, pulling his phone out.
“I did. I checked all my pockets, three times.” He held up three fingers for added exaggeration.
“Did you check your coat?”
You didn’t answer, instead scrolling through the notifications on his locked phone, trying to figure out who had just called him.
“Who’s ‘Boss Man’?” you asked, finding the most recent missed call.
“What’s your phone password?”
To your surprise, he told you instantly. Someone was gonna need to tell him to work on that later.
As the line was ringing, he sat up and grabbed your wrist, pulling you back towards him.
As soon as you were close enough, he leaned forward, resting his head against your body and closing his eyes, hand still on your arm.
“Hello?” A man answered from the other end of the phone, sounding both concerned and angry. “Where the hell are you? Why haven’t you been picking up my calls?”
You cleared your throat and forced yourself to breathe, needing to tear your eyes away from the boy using you as a vertical pillow. “Hello? Hi, sorry, Ni-ki’s with me, I have his phone.”
There was a pause. “Who are you?”
“My name is Y/N. I’m a student at SNU and I found him when walking home from the library.”
“You found him? What do you mean you found him? Where are you?”
You tried your best to describe your location, giving as many clues as possible. “I think he had too much to drink,” you finish, looking back down to the Ni-ki.
“Can you put him on the phone please?”
“Ni-ki,” you called to him. He stirred slightly. “Someone wants to talk to you.”
You put the phone to his ear, noticing how the tone of his manager seemed to calm down when hearing Ni-ki’s voice. Ni-ki grumbled a few yes’s and no’s before tugging your arm slightly. “He wants to talk to you again.”
You put the phone back to your ear.
“I’m heading over right now, it should only take about 10 minutes. Do you mind waiting with him?”
The late night studying seemed to take a major toll on you as the next morning you barely managed to roll out of bed. You slept through your alarm, only waking up when a car horn from outside your window interrupted your dream. Skipping breakfast, you ran to class without even attempting to change your clothes. In between classes, you loaded up on caffeine, new years resolution be damned. It was just one of those days. Except it wasn’t just a day. It was a week.
For the next several days, you found yourself dragging your feet to class, barely able to retain any information from lectures, and forgetting the due dates of assignments. Your head was killing you constantly -- a kind of pain no amount of caffeine, water, pain meds, or sleep could fix. When Saturday rolled around, you would have jumped for joy if you could. Instead, you stayed in bed, sipping on a healthy smoothie your roommate had made in hopes of giving you a speedy recovery, and watching the most entertaining thing you could find on Netflix. Whatever cold you had seemed to contract needed to disappear ASAP.
Ni-ki didn’t remember anything the next morning. His head hurts, he’s hungover, and his manager is refusing to let him out of his sight.
“Reckless, that’s what it was.”
Ni-ki hated being reprimanded but he sat there and took it, knowing they were right. He shouldn’t have drunk that much, especially by himself and in public, and especially not when he’s already surrounded by controversy. The last thing Enhypen needed was “evidence” of what the public speculated as Ni-ki’s secret love life. “Sorry.”
“You’re cut off from alcohol for three months,” his manager said, running a hand through his hair.
Ni-ki didn’t care. With the hangover he currently had, he couldn’t fathom wanting to touch a bottle ever again.
Both he and his manager looked down to his hand, Ni-ki’s eyebrows furrowing when seeing the splotchy bruise dotting the inside of his hand. Involuntarily, he flexed his hand, wincing only slightly. “I dunno, I’ve never seen it before.”
“Just what exactly did you get yourself into last night? Passing out in a slide and having some random girl find you and now you’ve got huge bruises appearing.”
He didn’t know how to respond so he just shrugged, stuffing his hand into the pocket of his hoodie. Relief washed over him when he was told to get ready for practice, eager to put the fiasco of yesterday behind him. His limbs protested as he stood but he ignored them, brushing it off as minor alcohol poisoning. But as the week persisted, it became increasingly clear that whatever illness Ni-ki was suffering from was not from alcohol.
“I said I don’t remember anything!” Ni-ki groaned, rolling over in his bed, the motion using more strength than he had to spare in that moment. “I blacked out and when I woke up I was here and my head was pounding and it still won’t stop and this fucking bruise won’t go away--”
“It’s still there?” His manager interrupted him, immediately walking to his bedside and grabbing his wrist, flipping his hand to face palm up.
Ni-ki squinted up at him, trying to read the expression on his face. “What?”
A deep sigh left his manager’s throat. “Why didn’t you say this earlier?”
An entire team of people was put together to find you. The only thing they had to go off was the information you had given them in that single phone call: your name and your university. And neither of those things narrowed the options down by much. Enhypen’s manager was the only person who remembered what you looked like and went through the long list of names and student profiles, desperately trying to track you down. After the second day, he found you.
The file with your face was shown to multiple employees before the horde was released to the campus, all with the same goal of finding you. They were split between the libraries, dining hall, and your apartment, determined to scope out every inch of campus if they needed to.
When you woke up, you were in an unfamiliar room. You blinked a few times, groggily gazing up at the ceiling and trying to gauge where you were. From your right, you registered the faint sound of breathing, one that was not your own. Turning your head, you recognized him immediately. Eyes widening, you snapped up to a sitting position, fear overriding your senses.
Were you dreaming? How did you get here? Why are you dreaming about Ni-ki right now??
“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” A sweet voice spoke from your left and you whipped your head back to find who it belonged to.
“What’s going on?” you asked, looking her figure up and down, identifying a clean white coat and a lanyard. Your eyes zeroed in on the title ‘Hybe’ right above her name. “Where am I?”
“I know this is sudden, you’re in Hybe Entertainment’s infirmary right now. Sorry, but could you just put your arm back--”
She blinked at you, visibly a little biffed you had interrupted her. “You met Ni-ki last week, yes?” You nodded. “And you are familiar with the concept of soulmates, yes?”
Your eyes narrowed. Of course you were familiar with soulmates. It was all any hopeless romantic talked about. Theoretically, everyone was tied by destiny to another, but not everyone was lucky enough to find their person. “What about it?” you pressed.
“Do you remember the first place you and Ni-ki touched each other?”
You thought back to about a week ago, reviewing the entire interaction. Studying, walking back, him singing, asking if he was okay, tying his shoe, and… a head pat. Slowly, you raised a hand to your temple, recalling the nasty headache you had endured the last few days. As you fit the pieces together, you turn back to Ni-ki’s sleeping form, carefully taking his hand and turning it over. A bruise.
“Congrats,” the nurse said. “Could you please lay back down so you can continue charging?”
“Right, sorry,” you said dazed, leaning back against the mattress and pressing your arm back against Ni-ki’s.
When you meet your soulmate, you develop a bruise that doesn't fade until you see each other again. After your first physical contact, your souls instantly recognize each other, becoming physically dependent on one another. You cannot be apart for long because it drains your energy. The only way to regain strength is to touch again.
That would explain how your exhaustion only got worse the past week. You had thought that giving your body plenty of down time and days to recover would heal you, when in reality, time away from your new soulmate was only making your condition worse.
The minute the bare skin of your arm is reconnected with Ni-ki's, a familiar sense of warmth floods into you and your eyelids flutter closed. So this is what it felt like. The muscles in your body relaxed and you felt the urge to close your eyes and sleep.
The next time you awoke, the snappy nurse had been replaced by more familiar faces. Jungwon, Jake, and Sunoo. You flinched instantly and retreated into yourself, feeling vulnerable. Their quiet conversation came to a stop and all four pairs of eyes trained their focus onto you, including Ni-ki. While you were still laying down, he had sat up next to you, still keeping your arms linked. But the second you had retreated, your arms disconnected and you saw him shudder at the loss of warmth. A second later, the coldness of his absence hit you too.
“Sorry…” you murmur, hesitating awkwardly before sliding your arm back, glancing up at Ni-ki for approval.
His stare was intimidating, piercing right through you. How could this man be your soulmate? The person meant for you? He didn’t even look like he liked you. His demeanor was so much different than the one you had seen in the park.
“Y/N, right?” Jungwon was peering over curiously at you and you felt your nerves spike before nodding. “Nice to meet you. I’m Jungwon.”
It didn’t feel like the right time to say “I know” so you offered a polite smile. “Nice to meet you, Jungwon.”
You repeated your previous answer before an awkward silence fell over the room. Three internationally famous idols were staring at you and one was your soulmate and your arm was still pressed against his like some sort of human charging cable. You tried not to think about how insane all of it was.
“I’ve never met a pair of soulmates before,” Sunoo broke the silence first, leaning forward like he was observing an endangered species. “Well, once, but I don’t remember it. My parents told me about it. Does touching like that actually work?”
Jake crossed his arms, curious as well. “Do you feel better?”
You took a second to look down at where you and Ni-ki were connected, glancing up briefly to see Ni-ki gazing down at your arms as well. When it didn’t seem like he was going to answer Sunoo’s question, you spoke up, “Yeah, actually.”
The strange warmth could be felt through your whole body, chasing away the exhaustion that had weighed you down all week. Your head didn’t throb anymore either.
“That’s so cool,” Sunoo breathed, infatuated with the idea.
Jungwon glanced at the clock hanging on the wall briefly before speaking. “I’ll run and get the manager to let him know you’re both awake. Maybe you can meet the rest of our members too, Y/N. I’m sure you’ll be seeing a lot of us now, might as well get the introductions over with, right?”
His eyes twinkled with something like teasing excitement and yet when you saw Ni-ki’s jaw tighten, your stomach twisted. Jungwon seemed to notice the way his joke didn’t land with the youngest idol and hurried off to find their manager without waiting for a response. The door clicked shut behind him, leaving the four of you in an even heavier silence. Sunoo looked between you and Ni-ki like he was eagerly waiting to press play on a drama.
Your brain instantly flashed back to the slide. Unsure how much Ni-ki would want you to say, you looked expectantly towards him to answer the question but he only stared blankly back.
“I don’t remember,” he said plainly.
Jake raised an eyebrow. “Like… not at all?”
Ni-ki shook his head once, clearly irritated. “I blacked out.”
All gazes fell back to you instantly, Sunoo’s eyes sparkling with curiosity. “Then you have to tell us,” he said.
“Um. Well, I was walking home from the library,” you started slowly, “...and then I heard someone singing.”
Ni-ki tensed next to you. A slow smile crossed Jake’s face.
“And I saw this guy lying down in the slide so I went to check if he needed help. It was really cold and his jacket was on the ground.”
Ni-ki muttered under his breath, “I was fine.”
You kept going. “I ended up finding his phone and calling your manager back to let him know where we were. And then I stayed there until he showed up.”
“You skipped the good part,” Sunoo said. “How did you bond?”
You recalled back, glancing at the boy next to you. This time, he was gazing back, just as curious as the members next to him. He really didn’t remember, did he?
Why did this feel so awkward?
“I saw his shoe was untied and didn’t want him to trip, so… you know, I knelt down to tie it--”
Both Jake and Sunoo nodded, egging you on.
“--and then he-- You--” you turned to meet Ni-ki’s eyes, “--patted my head.”
For a second, Ni-ki just stared back at you.
“You patted her head??” Sunoo exclaimed from the bedside.
Ni-ki looked genuinely confused now, his brows pulling together as he replayed the information. “I wouldn’t do that.”
“You absolutely would,” Jake commented, giving him a knowing look.
You felt your face heating again. If he was defensive about a head pat, surely he wouldn’t appreciate you telling everyone the way he held your hand and leaned against you either. That part might just need to remain a secret.
“That explains the bruise,” Sunoo nodded towards Ni-ki’s hand, to where only a hint of purple was left. “We were wondering where he got that thing.”
You hummed, a hand going up to your head, pressing against your temple gently. Where pain had previously erupted, you felt nothing. The charging was working. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know we bonded. I never saw a bruise. It didn’t even cross my mind--”
“It’s not your fault,” Ni-ki said, just as Jungwon came back with a figure behind him.
“Found him,” he smiled, opening the door for their manager. You recognized him instantly, offering a polite smile and nod in his direction.
“Glad to see you guys are doing better,” he spoke gently. “I don’t want to rush either of you, but this… uh, situation has kind of derailed us from our current schedule and it’s best if we get back on track as soon as possible. Do you mind if we talk about future arrangements right now?”
You shook your head, allowing him to continue speaking. Jungwon silently shuffled Sunoo and Jake out, all of them waving to you before closing the door behind them.
“To be quite honest, no one is really sure what to do in this situation seeing as it’s never happened before. It’s proving to be a bit of an inconvenience--”
You felt Ni-ki tense beside you and bit your lip, holding back an apology that desperately wanted to force its way out. Inconvenience was the easiest way to summarize this whole ordeal, but it definitely didn’t sugar-coat anything either.
“As their manager, my job is to prioritize the well-being of my group. Enhypen has daily practice that Ni-ki cannot miss, especially with their comeback so soon. I am aware of your status as a full-time student and I’m sure we can work around that, but perhaps for the time being it would be better for you to take some time off while the bond adjusts. There are nearby apartments you can move into as well for closer proximity in case the bond acts up and--”
“Wait, wait, I’m sorry-- You want me to drop out?”
The manager raised his hands as if he was surrendering and shook his head, “No, no, not drop out. Simply take a break. And only for a month or so.”
“I can’t do that,” you said, eyebrows crunching together as you tried to hold back your offense. “The semester’s already half-way over, I’m doing midterms right now. I mean, it’s my last semester before I graduate-- How can I just--”
“Yes, I understand all of that. I just wonder if it is in everyone’s best interest to pause your studies only momentarily. School would be harder with the time you would be spending here, and the distance you would be traveling would be longer--”
“I can’t just move apartments,” you tried to keep your tone calm but you were surprised at what was being asked of you. “My lease doesn’t end for another couple months! I can’t afford somewhere else.”
“It would be fully covered.”
“Everything will be taken care of for you. We just ask for your momentary cooperation.”
“Can you let the two of us discuss this privately?” Ni-ki butted in, saving you from another sputtering response. “We haven’t been able to have a single conversation alone yet.”
“Oh.” The manager seemed slightly taken aback. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you hadn’t talked. I’m sorry to rush you into this.”
“It’s fine, just give us 5 minutes,” Ni-ki nodded towards the door, and his manager left.
You sat quietly for a second before speaking. “Thank you. I know that this is inconvenient for you and I don’t want to be a burden, but I-- I can’t just uproot like that.”
“No. If you want to keep going to school, then do it. We can figure it out.”
If it wasn’t for the tone in his voice, you would take his words as empathetic. But you could tell he wasn’t. At least -- you didn’t think he was. You decided to look past it.
“Will everyone else be okay with that?”
He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. You’re my soulmate. I don’t know why they need to have a say in how I handle things.”
Your first impression of what you gathered to be the real, sober, non-idol version of Ni-ki was a very intimidating, quiet hard-head. That was the best possible way to put it. Thankfully, he had managed to save you some of your own privacy and your school career.
“She’ll continue her classes,” he had said.
The manager’s eyebrows lifted slightly. “And the distance?”
It was safe to say that none of you knew how to properly make this work. After a bit more thought, Jungwon had suggested that whenever you were not in school or sleeping in your apartment, you would be at the company. It would be hectic for you, but it seemed to be the only way at the moment to meet both your and Ni-ki’s needs.
You would not consider yourself an early bird, but unfortunately if someone were to look at your schedule, they would be none the wiser. Since you were in your last semester, the last couple required classes for your degree were extremely niche, meaning that the class size was also significantly smaller than a more standard course. There was only one lecture offered, only one time slot. And that time slot just happened to be at 9:00 in the morning. With all your classes back to back before even reaching 2pm, it left you plenty of time to recharge with Ni-ki back at Hybe. And that’s how your schedule evolved. Wake up, 9am-1:30pm class, get picked up at your school gate, and be at Hybe by 1:45pm. Surely you wouldn’t get burned out, right?
Monday after class, your first day in your new routine, you exited your pick-up vehicle sent by Hybe and approached the front of the building. As you gazed up at the large glass windows, you found your eyes to begin to hurt from the bright sun, and your head to begin to hurt from trying to remember how to get to the right practice room. What’s the worst that could happen by not asking for help?
Once in the building, you scanned the special visitor card given to you by Enhypen’s manager and successfully passed through their security. The lobby was endless but you managed to find an elevator and stop at the floor number you were 92% sure was the right one, promptly getting lost in the halls and probably taking one too many wrong turns.
You turn and see Sunoo at the other end of the hallway, waving his hands at you.
“What makes you say that?” you try to joke, but knowing that your words only made you sound more guilty. “Was I too obvious?”
He laughed and beckoned you towards him. You hurried to his side, relieved to see a familiar face. “You walked past the practice room twice.”
“I was looking for a bathroom,” you protested.
Sunoo laughed, clearly entertained. “Did you find it?”
You continued to follow him down the hall, trying to calm the nerves creeping into your chest. This was only your first day of the new routine and already you felt like a misplaced puzzle piece. You were grateful for Sunoo’s friendly chatter and warm welcome.
Sunoo pushed open the practice room door without knocking. Music poured into the hallway, loud and rhythmic, vibrating through the wooden floor beneath your feet. The tune was unfamiliar and you realized quickly that it was part of their comeback album. Anticipation raced through you.
Inside, three members were running choreography in front of the mirror, another sat on the floor tying his shoes. The music cut off shortly after you and Sunoo walked in, a dozen or so heads turning in your direction. You froze slightly in the doorway. Other than the members of the group, the room was filled with staff and choreographers and videographers with cameras. You suddenly felt exposed.
“Look who finally made it,” Sunoo announced, stepping aside so everyone could see you properly. You wished he hadn’t done that and had just allowed you to slip in quietly instead.
A brief round of introductions and greetings chorused around the room before you made your way to a couch against one of the back walls to hide on. Your eyes kept drifting toward the back of the room. Ni-ki stood near a water fountain, towel draped around his neck, hair damp from practice. His arms were crossed, posture relaxed but distant. He had looked at you briefly when you first walked in but his gaze already moved away, like you were just another person entering the room. You dug in your backpack, fishing out your laptop to start assignments and study work, and trying hard to pretend you couldn’t hear the conversation happening in front of you.
“Aren’t you going to say hi?” Jay asked Ni-ki in a hushed tone, obviously referring to you.
“I saw her,” Ni-ki replied flatly.
Your stomach twisted. Why couldn’t you have been Sunoo or Jungwon’s soulmate? Why’d you have to get stuck with the one guy who seemed to hate you. Your head gave a small throb and you blinked hard, trying to force the fog away.
Jay persisted. “Shouldn’t the two of you charge--”
“I’m fine,” Ni-ki cut him off.
You clicked through tabs in an effort to find the right one, the dull ache in your temples slowly crept stronger. Ni-ki started the music again, calling out for another run-through. The others hesitated, glancing slightly in your direction before giving up and letting Ni-ki have his way. They moved in formation, choreography sharp and precise. You watched from above the rim of your laptop screen, impressed at the way Ni-ki’s movements stayed perfectly on beat. But halfway through the second run, his steps faltered. Just for a second. Barely even noticeable, except to the people who knew him. Sunghoon slowed slightly and Heeseung stopped entirely.
Ni-ki straightened immediately. “Yeah.”
Sunoo crossed his arms. “You’re being stubborn.”
“It’ll literally only take 10 minutes. Just charge.”
“Let’s run through it just one more time, I want to get it right.”
“You can’t get it right if you’re drained. You haven’t charged since yesterday,” Jungwon reprimanded.
“What?” Enhypen’s manager walked in at that exact moment, eyes locking onto the youngest member. “You haven’t charged yet?”
“I will in a second,” Ni-ki persisted, turning his back to the members and gazing into the mirror, getting into position to restart the song.
Across the room, your vision swam slightly. You had pulled another late nighter to finish an important assignment, but the intense use of brain-power had left you exhausted. You closed your eyes for a second, pressing your fingers to your temple. Heeseung noticed first.
You cringed and opened your eyes, not wanting to draw more attention to yourself. It was clear that Ni-ki didn’t want to charge and you didn’t want to force it on to him. So you put on your game face and prepared to make an excuse. Something like ‘I’m just tired’ or ‘I’m just hungry.’ But it was too late. As soon as Heeseung had spoken, Ni-ki’s head snapped towards you instantly. So you forced a smile.
The lie was obvious, the silence in the room stretched. Ni-ki looked away again almost immediately, teeth clenched.
“Ni-ki,” his manager directed. “Charge. Now.”
The music stopped once more and Ni-ki muttered under his breath, grabbing a towel and walking straight past you out the door. He didn’t spare another glance in your direction. Hesitatingly, you grabbed your belongings and followed him out, avoiding eye contact of everyone else in the room.
Ni-ki was leaning back on a couch in one of the company’s empty lounges, drinking from his water bottle and trying not to look at you. You approached him slowly, setting your bag on the floor and sitting on the opposite end of the couch.
“We don’t need to charge if you don’t want to,” you said softly, sneaking a glance over to him.
“It’s fine. We’re already here anyway.”
He still refused to look at you, tipping the water bottle back and finished the last few gulps. The plastic crinkled faintly in his grip. You kept your hands folded in your lap, trying not to think about the slow heaviness spreading through your body again. Ni-ki crushed the empty water bottle in his hand before setting it down on the table in front of him. His elbows rested on his knees, shoulders slightly hunched forward.
“You don’t have to sit all the way over there,” he said lowly.
You blinked. “Oh, sorry.”
There was a clear invisible wall neither of you wanted to cross. You shifted closer, unsure how to approach it without making it awkward. He glanced at the space between you.
“That’s not going to work. “
Your face warmed slightly. “...Right.”
You scooted even just the tiniest bit closer.
“Just do it,” he muttered, leaning back and shifting towards you, seemingly fed up at your awkwardness.
The effect of physical contact was immediate. Warmth spread through your chest like someone had turned the lights back on inside your body. The dull ache in your head softened, the fog lifting just enough for you to breathe and think normally again. You exhaled slowly. With the fatigue draining from your body, you remembered to be agitated with your soulmate’s attitude.
“You don’t have to sound so miserable about it. The bond, I mean”
That made him glance at you, finally. His eyes were sharp, tired, and a little annoyed. “I don’t.”
He scoffed quietly and looked away again. “It’s just inconvenient.”
The word of the century. “I know.”
“And now everyone’s staring at me like I can’t do my job unless I hold someone’s hand.”
You fidgeted uncomfortably. “That’s not what they’re saying.”
He gave you a pointed look. “That’s exactly what they’re saying.”
You didn’t have a good response to that. Part of you knew he wasn’t entirely wrong.
His head tipped back slightly, eyes closing for a second.
“You don’t have to pretend you don’t need it.” You weren’t sure what made you say that and you regretted it almost instantly.
“I’m not pretending,” he argued.
“There’s nothing wrong with resting for 5 seconds…”
“You could’ve asked too.”
You shrugged slightly. “I didn’t want to.”
“I didn’t want to make it worse.”
Ni-ki stared at you like he was trying to figure something out. Then he leaned back against the couch again. “You’re weird.”
You deadpanned. “Thanks.”
You stared back. “You’re weirder.”
“Are too. You sing Country Roads when you’re drunk.”
You tried very hard not to smile. Despite the cold shoulder he had originally given you, his defensiveness was cute. And although he was fighting back, there was no malice in his words. The corner of his own mouth twitched like he noticed your mood shift. The conversation stalled for a moment, the warmth between your arms had settled into something steady now, no longer the overwhelming rush from earlier.
Ni-ki glanced over and flexed his hand slightly against the couch cushion. “You wouldn’t have made it worse.”
His words caught you off guard. It took you a second to register that he was referring to your choice of words from earlier. “You’re not gonna call me weird again?”
He let out a huff of a laugh. “I didn’t say that. I’m just saying that if you ask to charge, I’m not going to be mad at you.”
You hesitated before looking away. “You just… You’re the one who keeps saying it’s inconvenient.”
He didn’t respond immediately. Instead he let his head fall back against the cushion and stared at the ceiling. “...It is inconvenient. But that doesn’t mean you’re the inconvenient part.”
Your gaze fell back to him but he wasn’t meeting your eyes. He stayed fixed on the ceiling like the sentence had slipped out without permission.
And that was the new layout of your life. Wake up, class, Hybe, charge, sleep, repeat. You had been instructed not to tell anyone about discovering your soulmate, and if you did, you absolutely could not say who. The reason being not just because of Ni-ki’s idol status, but because of the scandals that came from such status. A couple days before you had found him drunk in a slide, Ni-ki had been surrounded in controversy -- a fact you had attributed to his drinking habits. Dispatch had released photos of what appeared to be Ni-ki and a female idol walking through a park. No one could say for certain if it really was him in the pictures due to the hat and mask, but you had to admit, it did look a lot like him. Unfortunately, even without solid evidence of Ni-ki’s relationship status, the fans went wild. Both idols were harassed, more rumors were spread, threats were sent. Not one person in the country had not been made aware of how “unacceptable” the potential relationship was. Following the discovery of your soulmate bond, the company had decided for the sake of Enhypen’s reputation and both of your safeties, news of the bond should be classified. And who were you to argue?
Explaining your extended periods of absences to your roommate wasn’t as difficult as you had originally thought it would be. As a pre-med double major, she was rarely in the apartment during the days and didn’t even know if you weren’t home. You would see each other in the mornings and at night before going to bed, but that was about it. Today, however, you were studying together. It was Friday and you had an exam at 6pm. You and Ni-ki had discussed the situation yesterday and he had encouraged you to stay on campus and study, saying that he would be fine (of course) and the two of you can just charge when your exam is over. To no one’s surprise, his manager protested, but Ni-ki’s word was final.
You were careful to take plenty of breaks while studying, not wanting to drain yourself too much before the exam had even started. With a bottle of water to your left and an energy drink to your right and a backpack stuffed with granola and protein bars, you were determined to stay hydrated and energized -- soulmate bond be damned.
When you finally walked out of the exam room, exhausted but confident in your work, the time read 8:10pm. Students spilled out into the hallway around you, groaning about trick questions and arguing over the last section. You leaned against the wall for a moment, digging in your bag to pull out your phone and power it back on. The screen lit up. 7 missed calls. Your stomach dropped instantly. 3 calls from Enhypen’s manager, and 4 from a number saved under a duck emoji. You skimmed through your messages.
🐥: Are you still taking your exam?
Manager: Where are you? Call me immediately
The uber you took was only a 10 minute drive and you were already unbuckling your seatbelt and grabbing the door handle before the car had come to a complete stop. After thanking the driver, you rushed through the company’s doors and called the manager again, tracing the memorized path up to Enhypen’s practice room.
“I’m here,” you said quickly, an additional amount of panic entering your chest when you saw their usual room empty. “Where are you? I’m at the studio.”
“Right down the hall, I’ll send someone to get you.”
But there was no need. You heard the noise of chatter from around a corner and followed it, finding the members of Enhypen huddled in one area. Some sat on the ground, some leaned against the wall, all surrounded a single, windowless door. Jungwon perked up slightly when he saw you and waved you over, but the look of worry never left his face. Silently, he opened the door for you, closing it shut as soon as you entered.
Your eyes fell on him as soon as you walked in and your heart dropped. Ni-ki’s hair was damp with sweat and his skin glistened. His body was strewn across one of the room’s couches, limp like he was fragile. There were only two other people in the room, one being their manager, and the other being a nurse, who was holding an oxygen mask up to Ni-ki’s mouth. With every inhale, his body shook slightly like he couldn’t get enough air. He saw you before anyone else in the room and raised an arm slowly in your direction, a visible tremor in his movements. You dropped your bag instantly and hurried over, grasping his hand to offer as much instant healing as possible.
“Y/N, thank God,” the manager breathed, already moving away from Ni-ki’s side to make room for you. “I shouldn’t have let him practice as much as he did, but I didn’t know. I was only away for a couple minutes--”
“It’s okay,” you said, trying to reassure him that it wasn’t his fault. If anything, it was your fault for not setting aside even an hour of the day to see him before your exam. Maybe if you had, he wouldn’t be like this. “I’m really sorry I got here so late.”
“Sorry to cut in,” the nurse spoke up, glancing between you, Ni-ki, and his hand in yours, “but he’s going to need a lot more physical contact than that in his current state.”
Your face warmed instantly but you tried to play it off, hoping you misunderstood. “We can connect arms again?”
She shook her head. “No, even more than that. He’s completely drained and it’s best if he heals as quickly as possible. The manager and I will leave the room and make sure nobody enters.”
Even as she was talking, the two of them had already begun leaving, giving you one final nod before shutting the door. You weren't sure what emotion you were feeling right now. Nervous, scared, queasy, uncomfortable? More physical contact? How much physical contact were we talking about here?
Ni-ki seemed to pick up on your mood, tightening his grip on your hand. “It’s okay.” His voice was quieter than you were used to. “We can— just… our arms.”
You were grateful for his consideration, but right now, he was the one that needed consideration, not you. “With all due respect, I don’t think just our arms are going to cut it this time.”
He blinked up at your, clearly surprised. You fought the red in your cheeks as you spat out your next words.
“Is it okay if I take your shirt off? You can totally say no…”
The fact that those words even left your mouth was a marvel. Just as you were about to make another suggestion, he nodded and tried to sit up, but he didn’t have enough strength, instantly falling back down.
“No, stop, it’s okay, I’ll help you.”
You sat beside him and helped ease him up to a sitting position, letting him lean on you for a second to gain back the spurt of energy it took for that small movement before pulling the shirt over his head. Slowly, you lowered him back down, your eyes darting everywhere around the room in an effort to look at anything but his bare chest.
His words made you pause and glance back, finding him laying back down with his eyes closed. His expression looked pained and you felt your stomach lurch. You needed to get over yourself. The small feeling of insecurity of being in front of a worldwide idol shirtless was definitely not more important than your soulmate’s well-being. So you did. You took your shirt off, leaving your bra clasped, and lowered yourself next to him.
You were tangled instantly. One of his arms beneath your head, the other thrown over your waist, pressing you against him. The sizzle of golden energy was nothing like you’d felt before. Instead of the familiar feeling of warmth spreading from just one section, your entire torso burned instantly, like someone had poured sunlight straight onto your chest. You’re guessing Ni-ki felt it too. For a moment, his arms tightened, like the warmth caught him off guard. Then, he melted. The shaking that had been running through his body slowly began to fade. The strain in his shoulders dissolved as his muscles finally began to relax against you. You could feel it happening. Every second the warmth deepend, spreading through both of you like a current reconnecting.
His breathing took longer to steady out. The harsh, uneven inhales became less desperate, each breath a little deeper than the last, but still unbalanced. You stayed perfectly still, afraid that if you moved even a little, the fragile calm settling over his body might break. A line of guilt started to creep in. The two of you had bonded about two weeks ago, and you had only just realized it 5 days ago. The first month after a bond is formed, it is extremely fragile. Both soulmate’s bodily functions are thrown into disarray at the introduction of the bond and need time to adjust, meaning that exhaustion happens quicker and charging needs to occur more often. You had noticed this in your own life with the mental exhaustion from school work -- you couldn’t even imagine the amount of drainage Ni-ki felt from the physical demands of an idol life-style. You shouldn’t have left him alone this long without charging. It wasn’t fair. And it wasn’t safe. At least not this early in your bond.
The arm beneath your head shifted slightly, settling more comfortably around you as his strength returned just enough for the movement. His breathing grew consistent, his chest rising and falling in a slower rhythm. And then-- Nothing. He simply fell asleep.
His head tipped slightly forward, every exhale now tickling the hair on your head. “Ni-ki?”
You looked up at him. His eyelashes cast shadows against his cheeks, his face finally free of the tension you had seen when you walked into the room. Without the tightness of his expression he looked soft. You hadn’t realized how pale he had been until the color slowly started returning to his skin. He was so tired. So, so tired. At least now he was okay.
When you opened your eyes, you were warm. Everything around you was soft and smelled sweet, and you felt more alive than you had in the past week. You breathed in slowly, relishing the lack of fog that had been clouding your mind the last few days. Then you remembered where you were and your eyes opened wider. You shifted slightly, peeking upwards, and froze. He was already awake. He wasn’t moving. He was watching you.
It took a while for your brain to catch up to the current situation. His bare chest pressed against yours, your arm draped across his side, his arms completely engulfing you. The second your gaze met his, he looked away. Not dramatically -- just a quick shift of his eyes towards the ceiling.
“You were snoring,” he said.
Great. Glad to see his previous self had returned. “I was not.”
You stared at him. “...Did you know you drool?”
His eyes flicked back to yours and he frowned. “I do not.”
You only shrugged, letting him decide for himself whether you were serious or not. For a moment the room was quiet again. Ni-ki’s gaze shifted away, landing somewhere on the wall opposite of you, while your vision remained filled with nothing but his skin.
“How was the exam?” His words were quiet.
“I think it was okay,” you mumbled, not wanting to think about the reason you hadn’t been there for him earlier. “...Are you okay?”
“I’m good.” He glanced toward the side of the couch where your shirts had been left on the floor. “You should probably put that back on before someone comes looking for us. I don’t know how long we slept.”
How long had you slept? You really didn’t know. The effects of the charging made it seem like you could’ve just slept a whole week. Not only had the two of you never charged for that long consecutively, you had never had that much physical contact. You felt alive.
Ni-ki withdrew his arms from you, allowing you to sit up and reach for your shirt, passing his clothes over your shoulder while you were at it. He kept his head turned away while you got dressed -- a thoughtful gesture. Then he waited till you were both dressed before pushing himself up from the couch, pausing for a moment as if he was confirming his legs wouldn’t betray him. When they didn’t, he straightened.
“I should probably let them know I’m not dead,” he said. The vulnerability that had previously been in his tone was gone, replaced with the version you had grown accustomed to. It was hard not to feel a little disappointed that even after connecting with each other like this he was still putting walls up.
“Good idea,” you replied, trying to figure out how to face the awkwardness that would be walking out into a hallway of Enhypen members after being in a room alone with their maknae for one hour.
Your thoughts took a pause when you noticed Ni-ki had stopped in front of the door. For a second you thought he was about to say something else. Instead, he just reached for the handle and pushed the door open.
The weeks continued. Midterms were over and you could breathe, which also meant there were no more incidents like before. With the lightened workload, you were able to better invest in getting to know each Enhypen member and the staff that worked for them. Charging or not, you found yourself hanging out with the rest of the group in the practice studios instead of alone in the lounge. The previous awkwardness of not knowing anybody and feeling like an outsider was slowly starting to chip away.
Sunoo had been the first to really pull you into things. He had a habit of jumping onto the couch next to you whenever he saw you by yourself and pulling others into the conversation. You were grateful he was so attentive. Eventually, you were less of a guest and more like someone who was just… there -- someone who belonged in the background of their daily routine. Heeseung would ask about your classes while stretching, Jay would complain about choreo to you like you were part of the creative team. Ni-ki, however, remained more or less the same. He didn’t talk to you much outside of charging, but you noticed small things. He no longer needed to be reminded to take breaks. Whenever the group wasn’t actively running through a song, he would walk over and collapse next to you just enough to touch. Whenever he went to get water, he would come back with a bottle for you. And when he felt snackish, he would bring back two of his cravings, always offering the extra to you.
Today was the day of the comeback stage, which meant today would be full of nothing but preparation and performance. It would be the first live performance since the bonding and none of you knew what to expect. Ni-ki had expressed confidence in not needing to charge during rehearsals and practice, but the staff was adamant on bringing you along. You emailed your professors in advance, notifying them of your absence, and joined Enhypen backstage at SBS. Although your attendance was mandatory, your identity had to remain a secret. The only people aware of the bond between you and Ni-ki were those who worked closely with Enhypen on a regular basis. To avoid scandals, you were required to hide your face to prevent a scandal.
You adjusted the mask sitting on your face, eyes darting around the backstage halls as you followed Ni-ki into one of the private rooms. Despite his claims of not needing to charge, he had been pulling you away frequently, only for a couple minutes at a time. If he didn’t have an excuse to leave the room with you, he would briefly graze your arm or send you a look, silently asking for you to come up with a reason to touch him discretely. It was ten minutes to the final stage performance and he had beckoned you away again. You were unsure whether it was a soulmate thing or simply obvious to see the anxiousness radiating off of him. When the door closed behind you and he dropped to the couch, you approached him carefully.
He leaned forward, resting his elbows onto his knees, one hand loosely rubbing the back of his neck. His foot tapped lightly against the floor. “I’m fine.”
You didn’t answer right away, taking a seat next to him, close enough that you could reach out and put a hand over his. The jacket he wore for the stage prevented any more skin contact. “You seem nervous.”
He let out a quiet breath through his noise, something between a scoff and a laugh. “I’m not.”
But his foot kept tapping the floor. You didn’t point it out.
“Good. You don’t need to be. I’ve watched you guys practice this choreography for weeks.”
“That doesn’t mean anything.”
“It means I’ve seen you run the whole thing perfectly about a hundred times. Just do exactly what you’ve been doing every day for the last month.”
He leaned back into the couch, turning his head to look at you. “It’s not the same.”
“Same choreography, same music, same seven people,” you replied. You were really just talking out of your ass here. “The only difference is a few thousand people watching, but it’s not like you haven’t done that before either.”
“That’s not the part I’m worried about.”
His gaze dropped briefly to where your hand still rested over his. “...The bond.” Of course that’s what he’s worried about. And almost as if he could hear the guilt in your thoughts, “I’m not blaming you, it’s just… different this time. We’re still learning how this works, you know?”
“So… You’re worried the bond is going to mess this up?”
“No-- I mean,” he said, eyes turning up to the ceiling. “It’s just that today is stressful, and physically demanding. What if I drain too quickly?”
“Ni-ki, I’m here for you, okay? I’ll sit here with you as long as you want me to.”
He nodded slowly, “Do you think… you could watch? From right off stage? Just in case?”
You furrowed your brows. “What do you mean? Like, while you’re performing?”
“Yeah. I want you close.”
You hesitated for half a second, trying to picture it -- standing just off stage, just out of view from the cameras and the audience, close enough that if anything went wrong, you’d be right there. “Would they even allow that?”
To your surprise, he intertwined your fingers. It took everything in you not to stare at your hands and draw attention to the action. The two of you had never held hands before, which was a little funny considering you had cuddled and seen each other shirtless. This was something he had initiated, completely on his own, no staff telling him what to do. That meant so much more than listening to instructions and stripping.
Your eyes searched his face. You could tell that he was asking for reassurance, not necessarily the physical contact. Just… you being there. “Okay,” you said and his gaze flickered back to your face. “I’ll be there, where you can see me.”
For a second, he just looked at you. Then he nodded once, like something had clicked into place. As if on cue, there was a knock at the door and a call for all members to head to the stage. Ni-ki stood up immediately and you followed, your hand slipping away from his as he adjusted his jacket.
“You got this,” you said softly.
He exhaled once, then opened the door.
For the eighth time that hour, you caught Ni-ki’s eye in the mirror. There was a camera crew set up in the dance studio in order to shoot their dance practice video. You hung out on the floor near the back, chatting with some of the staff while the members ran through the choreography a couple times. You would have said they perfected the dance a couple weeks ago, but each member and staff wanted perfection. It had to be exhausting. You watched the group work through one of the moves together, focusing on landing their feet at the same time and spacing out properly.
“Again,” said one of the choreographers, clapping and counting, “5, 6, 7, 8--”
The synchrony of their movements was satisfying to watch and you found your eyes glued to Ni-ki’s form. How does one move like that? Your thoughts were cut short when his eyes found yours again and you quickly looked away, embarrassed to be caught.
“Alright everyone! First full run through in 10!”
You took advantage of the quick break to run over to where the members were getting water and towels, already mentally preparing words of encouragement. You hovered for a second at the edge of their space, waiting for an opening that wouldn’t interrupt any of the current conversations. Ni-ki had watched you approach and after seeing your hesitation, he extended a hand out to you, letting you grab it before pulling you into the circle.
Sunoo welcomed you instantly. “Hey Y/N! How do we look?”
“You guys look really good,” you answered truthfully. “I don’t even know why you guys needed to practice for that long.”
“Someone kept stepping on the second count instead of the third,” Jungwon jabbed, throwing a side-eye in Jay’s direction.
“I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that,” the older member replied, taking a swig from his water bottle.
“Do you want me to say it again?” Jungwon teased with a smile.
“Don’t talk to me,” Jay retorted.
“You guys look exhausted,” you noted, glancing between the group.
“That’s because we are,” Jake said, wiping his face with the towel. “We could’ve shot this an hour ago and it would have been fine.”
“I just wish we’d gotten another food break,” Heeseung said, stretching his arms over his head. “Last break was 3 hours ago.”
You winced. “That sounds miserable.”
“It kind of is,” Jungwon admitted with a small laugh. “But we’re almost done.”
“Are your exams over?” Sunoo asked.
You sighed and dropped your shoulders. “Kind of. I don’t have any right now but finals are two weeks away.”
“Didn’t you just have an exam last week?” Jake asked, confused.
You gave a dry smile. “It is what it is. At least I’m not being held against my will to dance for 5 hours.”
“You can say that again,” Jay grumbled.
“I’ve seen you practice that dance so many times I could probably do half of it myself,” you added.
Heeseung raised an eyebrow. “Really?” he asked, and when you nodded he said, “Do it.”
“I’m afraid you guys would have to earn that private concert.”
The group laughed and Sunoo said, “Private concert? You’re holding out on us?”
“Absolutely,” you said, quirking an eyebrow. “Exclusive content.”
Heeseung didn’t let it go. “Well now you have to show us. Come on, Y/N…”
Ni-ki interrupted. “How much break do we have left?”
The group looked around, a little caught off guard by the sudden change of subject.
“Umm, like 5 minutes, why?” Jake answered, looking at his phone.
“Good. We need to charge,” Ni-ki answered, already pulling you out of the circle.
Sunoo glanced down to your hands that were still connected. “Haven’t you guys been charging this whole time?”
Ni-ki didn’t even slow down. “It’s not enough,” he said shortly, already halfway through the door.
He stopped pulling you once you were right outside the studio door, leaning against the wall. You turned to him, eyebrows raised. “What was that?”
“I wanted to charge,” he said with a shrug.
“We were charging,” you said, repeating Sunoo’s words.
“...So, that’s not the real reason then.”
His jaw tightened slightly. “It is.”
“It’s not,” you said calmly. Him looking away at your words was answer enough. “So what actually is it?”
He met your eyes this time, still hesitating. “They were all looking at you.”
“To dance. They wanted you to dance.”
You didn’t want to laugh, but his reason seemed ridiculous. “Ni-ki, it was a joke.”
“I still don’t want you doing it.”
“I just don’t. And we needed to charge.”
You bit back a smile and moved to stand next to him on the wall, allowing your arms to touch. Was he jealous? “I wasn’t actually going to do it,” you admitted.
“No,” you said, almost like he was surprised he actually thought you would have danced. “I like my dignity, thank you.”
The corner of his mouth twitched faintly. “Good.”
After that interaction, you chose to switch from sitting in the studio to hiding in one of the lounges again. Besides, you had a movie you needed to watch for class and an online quiz to go along with it. It was a boring film, black and white, very few lines of dialogue, and not even in a language you understood. You quickly grew tired of the plot, checking the cursor at the bottom of the screen to see how much longer you needed to sit there and endure it. 45 minutes left. Fuck.
A knock on the door interrupted your anguish, and you looked up just in time to see Ni-ki walk through. You greeted him with a smile, pausing the movie and scooting over to give him enough space next to you but he didn’t seem to need it. Even with the space you had graciously provided, he chose to sit as close to you as possible, immediately connecting your arms.
“You can keep watching,” he said, nodding towards your laptop.
“Are you sure?” you asked, and he nodded again.
So the two of you sat there together, charging in a semi-dark room, and watching a boring film. The silence lasted for a couple minutes until Ni-ki spoke up again.
You followed his finger to one of the men on the screen, trying to recall his role in the movie. “Her ex-husband.”
“Her dad. Her ex-husband is going to her family’s house to try and get her back.”
“But she’s not there because she’s with the other guy?”
He squinted his eyes like he was putting pieces together before humming and locking back onto the film. You hid the grin that wanted to break out across your face, finding his interest cute. His questions became sparse the longer the film continued since he was able to pick up most of the plot himself. You appreciated the company and his funny comments, finding that they helped you become more invested in the scenes.
But despite the amount of “fun” you were having, you fell asleep, waking up to the movie being paused at the credits scene and your head resting on Ni-ki’s shoulder. When you stirred, he put his phone down, turning his attention to you.
You decided not to comment on the fact it was nearly midnight and instead untangled yourself from his arm that you had seemingly grabbed to hug as you slept. Blinking back blurry vision, you stared at the laptop screen whirling around to look at him.
He only stared back at you. “...No?”
“Ni-ki, I have a quiz due in 15 minutes about the movie, how am I supposed to answer everything?”
His stare continued. “I’ll help you answer. You watched the first half, I watched the second.”
He was right. And you didn’t have time to argue.
“I hope you were paying attention,” you said, going to your laptop and pulling up the quiz, watching the timer in the corner count down the minutes left till your professor would close submissions.
“What do you take me for,” he mumbled, leaning over your shoulder to see the screen.
It would feel stupid to admit out loud how nervous you suddenly got at the proximity. You were quite literally hugging his arm and sleeping on his shoulder, yet him leaning over you was what made you nervous? His arm was stretched out behind you, planted into the cushion to your right while he leaned in from the left. The area where his arm grazed your back burned with energy and pulsed -- you hoped it wasn’t mimicking your quickened heartbeat. His face was close to yours, all in an attempt to see the screen, which wasn’t helping either.
“The answer to number four is ‘B’,” he said.
His voice that close to your ear gave you goosebumps.
“Because I watched the movie and you didn’t,” he teased and raised an eyebrow, turning his face ever so slightly to look at you. You froze immediately and fought the stutter trying to escape your throat.
“If it’s wrong, I’m gonna…” Not a single potential repercussion came to mind, “...do something…?”
He made a face and laughed. “Nice one. Number five is C.”
You didn’t attempt to save face and silently selected his choice of answer.
It’s not common that you get sick, but it was spring time and allergies were in the air. A sniffly nose was to be expected, but a cold?? You woke up with a sore throat, a small cough, and no ability to smell at all. You would have given anything to turn over in your covers and go back to sleep, but attendance to your lab was mandatory. So you rolled out of bed — only when the time made it absolutely necessary — and trudged to class.
You now sat in the library, finishing up a quick post-lab write-up. But you were tired and ill and for some reason the pencil markings in your notebook were blending into the paper, making it impossible to read anything. And even when you were able to make out the words, you forgot what they were supposed to mean. What should have been a quick assignment was taking twice as long. You didn’t feel good. Your body hurt. Your vision was swimming.
No. You needed to finish.
No. You needed to get back to Hybe and charge… Ni-ki. His name was the first clear thought you had had all day. Assignment be damned, you’ll just do it later.
But even if you wanted to stand, you couldn’t. Your body was too tired.
You didn’t remember calling him, you just knew that when you came to, he was there. Your head was on your desk, resting on your folded arms. One of his arms was draped across your back, hand nestled at the base of your neck. Even though his knee was pressed against yours, the material of your sweatpants prevented any charging from happening. He was sitting in the chair next to you, scrolling through his phone while mindlessly playing with your hair. You would have been concerned waking up to the feeling of some unknown person touching you, but you knew it was him immediately. The warmth and gold blooming across your body was sign enough.
When you stirred, his hand on you stilled and he leaned forward. You opened your eyes and saw him peering down at you, only his eyes visible behind the hat and mask he wore to cover his face.
“How do you feel?” were his first words to you. You only grunted. “You shouldv’e said something sooner,” he reprimanded. “Why’d you wait until you were passed out on a table?”
“It’s just a cold,” you mumbled. The prideful part of you wanted to wave his hand away, like you didn’t need the energy he was offering you. But deep down you knew you needed him. “You shouldn’t even be here right now.” Good deflection.
“It’s fine,” he said, like that was the end of it.
You frowned, pushing yourself off of the table despite how heavy you felt. “Ni-ki--” You regretted saying his name out loud and looked around quickly. “We’re in the middle of a library.”
“You shouldn’t be here,” you pressed, glancing around instinctively once more. There were other people in the library. A pair of students were hunched over books a couple tables over, someone else was walking down the aisles with textbooks in hand… but none gave the two of you more than a quick glance. “We should go.”
Ni-ki followed your gaze around the room for a second, then looked back at you. “Can you walk?”
“‘Maybe’ is the only answer I have.”
He shook his head softly and withdrew his hand from your neck, leaving you cold instantly. “Wear this first.”
He handed you a mask, and you obediently put it over your face. As you adjusted the material over your nose, he reached around you and pulled up your hood, adjusting the fabric carefully.
“Thanks,” you said quietly when he pulled back. The only response you received was a nod.
You tried to make the walk back to your apartment as quick as possible, walking with haste but also avoiding the more heavily populated roads. Ni-ki had insisted on holding your hand the entire walk, claiming that you were still sick and not fully charged yet. Though you protested, you were grateful for his persistence on the matter. You were also grateful that your roommate happened to be out when the two of you arrived back at your place. Ni-ki was about to follow you into your room when you froze and turned around.
“Grab your shoes, you can’t leave them by the door.”
“Just do it,” you exclaimed. “And hurry up.”
He barely had time to react before you were pulling him into your room, the door clicking shut behind you.
“Why are we hiding my shoes?” he asked, glancing down at the pair now awkwardly in his hand.
“My roommate,” you said, like it was obvious. “She sees those, I’m done for.”
He gave you a small laugh and set his shoes down near your desk instead, turning to survey his surroundings. You tried very hard not to think that an idol was in your room and instead about the assignment that you still hadn’t finished. You caught yourself swaying slightly and prayed Ni-ki hadn’t seen it, quickly moving to your bed to lay down and hide any more fatigue.
“You’re seriously gonna work again?”
You glanced up over the top of your laptop to see him staring at you. “I have to finish this by tonight.”
“I need to finish this. Then I’ll rest.”
Before you could protest, he was in the bed laying on his stomach next to you, staring at the assignment in front of you. You blinked, momentarily distracted -- not by the assignment, but by the fact he had just climbed into your bed like it was normal.
“You don’t even know what this is,” you said.
“I can read,” he replied, eyes scanning the page. “And you can catch me up.”
“That doesn’t mean you’ll understand it.”
“It’s my orgo post-lab write-up.”
“...Okay, maybe it’s a little hard.”
A grin spread across your face, which he mirrored, seemingly pleased about your mood shift. You shook your head at him, the smile lingering as you turned your attention back to the screen. After a couple glances back and forth between the tabs you had open and the notebook you were supposed to be using to help, it became clear to you that regardless of the charging Ni-ki had so graciously given you for the past hour, it was not enough to help with this assignment. Ni-ki watched you squeeze your eyes shut in an extra long blink, then reached over and gently pushed your laptop down.
“Hey--” You started to protest but he cut you off.
Your fingers stayed frozen and trapped on the keyboard but you didn’t make an attempt to open the laptop back up.
“I’m serious,” he said, softer now. “You’re not finishing this like this.”
“No,” he repeated. “You don’t.”
With that, he slowly withdrew the laptop from beneath your hands and carefully placed it with the notebook onto the floor. You rolled onto your back to stare at the ceiling, trying to convince yourself that it truly was okay to wait and do the assignment tomorrow. But the familiar anxious buzz continued to creep in -- the one that came with unfinished work and ticking deadlines.
You felt the bed shift next to you, Ni-ki turning to lay on his side next to you and (nonchalantly) sliding an arm beneath you. The action alone made your brain blank, but you refused to turn and look at him, afraid that his face would be too close to yours.
“I know you want to get your work done,” he said quietly, “but I think you need to rest first. You’re sick, and that’s fine, you just need to give yourself time to heal.”
You swallowed but continued to stare upwards. His arm shifted slightly beneath you, adjusting so you were more comfortably supported without making it obvious. The connection felt off and you couldn’t quite put your finger on it until you remembered the hoodie you were wearing. Though he had taken his jacket off and was left in only a t-shirt, your hood beneath your neck prevented any sort of skin contact. But he knew that? If he hadn’t put himself in this position to charge, did he simply just… want to be there?
Abruptly, you sat up and yanked the hoodie off, before promptly laying right back down onto his arm. This time, skin touching, and this time, facing him. The movement seemed to catch him off guard, his facial expression noticeably different when you finally looked at him. It made you nervous.
“...You said we should heal,” you said quietly, needing to break the eye contact. You wanted to change the subject and draw his attention away from you. “The company doesn’t need you today?”
His brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know-- Practice? Vlogging? A meeting? Something else mandatory?”
“Oh, no. It’s fine, I already left.”
He tilted his head slightly. “Yeah. You called me.”
“Sorry,” you mumbled, glancing down to fidget with your hands. “Your practices are important.”
“Don’t apologize. You should have called me sooner.”
“Do you need to go back?” You asked but was almost afraid of his answer. You didn’t want him to leave. His answer did not disappoint.
It was already late at this hour and the sun had long set. The two of you were close and warm. The claminess and fatigue from before had melted away. Laying with Ni-ki now had introduced a different kind of tired -- a peaceful kind. The arm under your head was a constant source of energy and his hand had curled back into your hair. At some point, his other arm had wrapped around you, pulling you closer. He had asked for permission before sliding beneath your shirt, allowing the bare skin of his forearm to press into the small of your back. You were grateful that he was willing to offer you healing and physical comfort without you even needing to ask for it.
Your eyes drifted shut for a moment, then opened again. “...Ni-ki?”
There was a pause. And then, “A little.”
Once again, you were afraid of his answer. Not just because if he left the healing would stop, but because he would be gone. His hand stilled briefly in your hair like he was thinking and you froze.
A small breath escaped you and your fingers curled lightly against his shirt. Slowly, your eyes closed, the steady rise and fall of his chest grounding in a way you didn’t want to think too much about.
“Thank you for coming,” you murmured, drowsiness evident in your voice.
“You don’t have to thank me for that.”
You smiled faintly, eyes still closed. “...Still going to.”
He didn’t argue back this time, instead pressing a kiss to your temple. “Go to sleep.”
The next day you visited the company, you were pulled aside quickly by Enhypen’s manager into a separate room. Ni-ki was already sitting in one of the office chairs, slouching and not looking up. Your eyes darted between the two of them, trying to decipher the meaning of the expressions on their faces. The manager’s hair seemed distraught from tugging on it, and he continued to do so even as you slid into the empty chair next to your soulmate. The manager moved behind his desk but didn’t sit, pacing in front of the two of you.
Hesitantly, you glanced over at Ni-ki and made eye contact. You sent a questioning look but he only sighed, seemingly already tired of the situation you had no knowledge of. Before you could look away, he extended a hand to you, grabbing yours and lowering your intertwined fingers just out of reach of the clearly stressed man in front of you.
“I’m assuming you’ve already seen everything, Y/N,” he said, stopping his pacing to look at you.
“Seen what..?” You lean forward inquisitively, eyes glancing at the desktop screen, angled in your direction.
‘Enhypen’s Ni-ki — Moving on Already?’
‘Enhypen’s Ni-ki Spotted on a Romantic Study Date’
‘Who’s the Girl Behind the Mask?’
Your mouth opened but not a word came out. You looked at the manager in shock but he only pinched the bridge of his nose.
And there they were. A series of blurry but unmistakable photos. Ni-ki, dressed in his hat and mask, sitting beside you in the university library. His hand resting against the back of your neck while you slept. The two of you walking back to your apartment, hands intertwined. One picture captured him pulling your hood over your head. Another showed the two of you disappearing into your apartment building with the address blurred.
“...Oh.” It came out barely above a whisper. You were speechless.
Hundreds of comments were posted under the articles. The pounding in your chest got progressively stronger the more you read.
“Didn’t he just have dating rumors last month?”
“Poor girl doesn’t know she’s just a rebound.”
“They’re definitely dating.”
“I’ve been in that library. She’s definitely a student.”
“I recognize that textbook.”
Your face drained of color. “I’m so sorry,” you said, scrambling to put thoughts together. “I shouldn’t have called him to help me, this is my fault.”
“Stop it,” Ni-ki’s hand tightened around yours, his tone leaving no room for argument. “It’s not your fault, it’s not like we could have hid this forever.”
His manager didn’t seem particularly pleased with that comment but moved passed it, turning the monitor to a new tab. It was a forum with hundreds of users comparing photographs. People posting pictures of apartment buildings they thought were yours, class rosters hoping to find your name, comparisons of student profiles on the official university website, more blurry images taken of that night.
“Did they find my name?” You asked quietly, swallowing hard.
“What about my roommate?”
“We’ve already contacted security at your apartment complex and we’re increasing security around the dorms and campus.”
“We started the moment the articles went live.”
You hadn’t even known they existed until thirty seconds ago.
“There are two immediate problems,” the manager spoke up again, leaning against the desk. He held a finger up. “First, we need to keep your identity from being confirmed.” A second finger. “Second, dispatch contacted us this morning. They’re asking for a statement.”
You didn’t know what to do. This was really bad right? Your finals were in less than two weeks now and your graduation was in three. If people found out who you were, would you even be able to finish school? Could you walk the stage? What if they find out where you live? You would have to move. You’re probably going to have to move anyway. What are you supposed to do?
“Can you give us a minute?” Ni-ki asked, standing up and pulling you up with him. You blindly followed, letting him guide you out into the hall and into the next empty room.
As soon as the door clicked shut behind you, you leaned back against the wall, pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes as though that alone could stop the flood of thoughts. Ni-ki said nothing, giving you the space you needed to breathe. Finals, apartment, roommate, family, your name. Why did your soulmate have to be a global idol?
“Ni-ki, what do we do?” you ask quietly.
“We’ll figure it out,” he said, moving towards you. “Are you okay?”
“They already know my school, and one of the classes I’m taking, and where I live — what do I do when they figure out who I am?” You laughed but nothing about this was funny. “I can’t do this. I’m supposed to get my degree and then get a job. I don’t even…” The tears came before you realized they had and you dropped your head, embarrassed. “...Sorry.”
“What are you apologizing for?”
“I don’t know. Calling you? Asking you to help me? Finding you in the park in the first place—”
His hands reached out to cup either side of your face, lifting you up to face him.
“Stop,” you said while wiping at your eyes. “I look gross.”
Despite yourself, you let out an airy laugh. “That wasn’t very nice.”
A small smile tugged at his mouth, “But it made you laugh,” and his thumbs brushed lightly beneath your eyes, wiping away the tears you hadn’t managed to catch. “And you don’t look gross.” His hands holding your face refused to let you look away. “And I’m glad you called me, okay? Stop saying things like that.”
Guilt from the things you had said absentmindedly was already sinking in. You didn’t really mean any of it, and the last thing you wanted was to make him feel bad. Everything just felt so confusing and suffocating at the moment it was hard to not feel trapped in a corner.
“I’m sorry,” you said again, this time with an explanation behind the apology. “I’m— I’m glad I met you, and I’m grateful that you helped me when I asked you to. I just… I don’t know what to do right now.”
His brows softened as he looked down at you. You fought to look everywhere but back at him.
“Do you know what I’m thinking about?” He asked, hands dropping from your face but his feet keeping him planted in front of you.
“I’m thinking about the first time I remember meeting you and you apologized for not realizing we had bonded. It was one of the first things you said to me. ‘Sorry.’ It wasn’t your fault. No one else knew we had bonded either.”
“And you apologized again when I was the one who practiced too hard on the night I knew you had an exam. I knew you wouldn’t be able to come and charge with me and I knew your exam was important but I wanted to show everyone I didn’t need it. But you ran over as soon as you could and apologized like it was your fault anyway.
“And you apologized when you were sick in the library because you thought me ditching practice mattered more than you being okay. In what world, Y/N?”
“...I guess I apologize a lot,” you murmur after a moment of silence, biting your lip and looking down again just in time to see one of his hands reach out to grab yours. His fingers played with your own and you let him.
“You keep acting like I’m being forced into this,” he said. “And I know this isn’t what either of us expected, but every time something happens, your first thought is that you’re making my life harder.”
Your throat tightened. Were you not? Were you not an inconvenience?
He continued. “I practiced too hard, I came to see you on campus, I rearranged my schedule for you. You never asked me to do any of that. So stop apologizing for the choices I’m making. And stop apologizing for people gossiping and all these articles when you and I both know dispatch has nothing better to do.”
His words settled over you one by one, each syllable quietly undoing a thought you hadn’t realized had been buried inside. You looked down at your joined hands, noticing that somehow during his speech he had managed to lace your fingers together. Your thumb brushed absentmindedly against the side of his hand as you recalled each moment he was talking about. Two months ago, you were sure he found you to be the most annoying thing on the planet — only giving you sharp responses, avoiding eye contact, and resenting charging. But he wasn’t like that anymore. You weren’t sure when the switch was. Initiating charging, holding your hand just because he wanted to, finding you the minute you needed him to, staying overnight so you could sleep off a fever. You’d spent so much time worrying about what this bond had taken from him that you hadn’t stopped to notice everything he had chosen to give.
Your eyes lifted to him. He was watching your thumb moving against his hand, waiting patiently while you disappeared into your own thoughts. He wasn’t asking anything from you. He wasn’t waiting for an apology. Something in your chest softened.
“Thank you,” you said finally.
He looked up. “You don’t have to thank me.”
“I really think I do though. And I want to,” you admitted, offering a small smile.
Ni-ki opened his mouth and you watched him hesitate, glancing at the closed door beside the two of you. “What— what if we tell the truth?”
That surprised you. “What?”
“What if we tell them we’re soulmates?”
Your eyes widened and you slowly started shaking your head. “No, Ni-ki—”
“They’re going to want me to deny it, and say you’re just a friend, and that the pictures are a misunderstanding. But I don’t want to.”
You didn’t think he was serious. You were fully prepared to go into hiding, and keep your head down, and become a vampire never to see the sun again as long as this scandal was alive. You were ready to deny every article and accusation thrown your way until you were able to graduate peacefully and go back to being anonymous. It was the safest option, and you thought that’s what Ni-ki would want. It’s what the company wanted.
“Y/N, I can’t spend the next year pretending you’re just some random girl,” he said, tilting his head down to see you better. “That’s not fair to you, and it doesn’t feel right.”
You stared at him. He looked… frustrated. Not at you. At the situation.
“I don’t care if they tell people we’re dating.”
You felt your breath catch. The words hung between you long enough that you wondered if you’d imagined them. “...Ni-ki.”
His tone didn’t seem to match yours, like he didn’t realize what you were caught on. He looked completely sincere.
“Are we?” you simply asked.
He blinked at you confused. “What?”
The word sounded strangely foreign coming out of your own mouth. And for the first time, Ni-ki looked genuinely caught off guard. His eyes widened just slightly and you felt his hand in yours go slack.
“...I…” He actually stumbled over his words. “I don’t…” Even in the dark you could see his ears flush pink almost instantly and watched the confidence he’s been speaking with disappear in real time. He rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly fascinated by the floor. “That’s not…”
A grin threatened to appear on your face. He was too cute.
“You don’t know?” you asked, trying to hide the teasing tone.
“No— I mean—” He swallowed and looked up to the ceiling like the words he was searching for would be glued to the tiles. “I wasn’t thinking about it like that.”
“No.” He paused. “...Were you?”
His question came out so cautiously it almost made you laugh. He was a worse liar than you thought he would be. “I don’t know. But if we’re not dating, why did you say you don’t care if people think that we are?”
“Because… it just makes sense.” His eyes fell back to yours. “I know I like being around you, and I know I look for you when I walk into a room, and if someone asks where I am, I usually say I’m with you. I don’t think about what to call you in any of those situations, I just think about you.”
His words came out so matter-of-factly that neither of you seemed to process them immediately. The room suddenly felt 10 degrees hotter. You realized you felt the same way. He wasn’t someone that you had to think about. You didn’t have to remind yourself to see him any time you could, or text him in the times you couldn’t. You didn’t have to remind yourself to look for him or to grab his hand when you knew where it was. You had written all of that off as a soulmate thing, but maybe it was more than that?
He seemed to take your silence the wrong way. “We can just tell them we’re soulmates too,” he said abruptly, backpeddling as much as he could. “We don’t have to mention dating if it’s easier not to. Whatever you want to do.”
Your head snapped up. “No, I—” Yikes, Y/N, at least pretend to play hard to get. “We can tell them the truth — that we’re soulmates… and we’re dating.”
Enhypen’s manager had more than a few things to say about Ni-ki’s final decision, but ultimately respected it. He spent the next half hour warning the two of you about the possible fallout. There would be criticism, backlash, speculation. People would question whether the soulmate story was real or just a fabricated publicity stunt. The safest route would be silence — but Ni-ki was determined to tell the truth.
By the end of it, Ni-ki had provided enough of a statement for the public relations team to draft something official. The article would go live after the two of you had safely left the company that night.
“You should both stay off your phones tonight,” the manager advised as he walked you toward the door out of the office. “Let us handle the first wave. Don’t read the comments.”
“Wasn’t planning to,” you admitted.
“I know,” he sighed. “I’m mostly talking to him.”
Ni-ki looked entirely unapologetic.
Sunoo, Jungwon, and Jay were the only members still in the building at this time, filming promotional videos as instructed by staff. They noticed the two of you the minute you walked into the big practice room, immediately turning off the cameras and excusing the staff.
“Y/N!” Jungwon called, “Are you okay? We all saw the posts this morning and got worried.”
You smiled and nodded, remembering the statements Ni-ki had given and realizing that even his members wouldn’t know the two of you were dating until the articles were released. “I’m doing a lot better now. You guys don’t need to worry about me.”
Sunoo peered up at you, squinting at your face. “You cried?”
Ni-ki swatted him away at the same time Jay shot him a look. “You let her cry by herself?”
“Of course not,” Ni-ki replied flatly. “Mind your own business.”
You laughed awkwardly, hands flying to your face, trying to feel if your eyes were swollen or not. “Is it obvious?”
“No, I just took a guess,” Sunoo pouted while looking at you. There was empathy laced in his voice.
“Have either of you eaten dinner yet?” Jungwon asked.
“No,” Ni-ki answered for the both of you. You had been together for the past few hours, completely forgetting to eat with all of the drama that had conspired.
The leader frowned with worry. “You haven’t eaten all day?”
“We had lunch,” Ni-ki corrected. “Are you guys getting food now?”
Jay nodded. “We were just gonna order in with all the news flying around…” He stole a glance at you. “Everyone else is already back at the dorms.”
Sunoo looked at you too. “You should come too.”
You blinked. “What? Oh, no, I don’t want to intrude.”
“You’re not,” Jungwon said immediately. “Seriously, you should come.”
You looked instinctively toward Ni-ki.
“You should,” he said simply. There wasn’t any pressure.
As soon as you gave a nod of agreement, Sunoo clapped his hands with a sound of excitement. Everyone split to grab their bags and jackets and Ni-ki leaned down just enough for only you to hear. “I was gonna ask you anyway.”
You felt yourself smile. “Really?”
He nodded and smiled back. “We don’t get to eat together that often. We should do it more.”
“You know we can’t,” you gave him a look, following the rest of the members out the door, Ni-ki holding the door open for you.
“Why not? After today we’re dating and everybody knows it.”
Your face instantly flushed. Dating. You and Ni-ki. Of course you had thought he was attractive before you knew he was your soulmate. Anyone who had watched him perform could understand. But after the bond, everything between the two of you had been filtered through a different lens. Holding hands, hugging, the time spent together, your conversations — those had all been done as soulmates, not as lovers. Now, looking back, the line wasn’t so clear anymore.
“I don’t think about what to call you… I just think about you.”
You blushed deeper. Did he like you too?
Your eyes flicked over to him as he walked besides you, hands in his pockets. Jungwon made conversation next to him, chatting about something that had happened in practice.
“I just think about you.”
The dorm was louder than you expected. The moment the front door opened, the smell of food drifted into the entryway, followed by a chorus of voices from somewhere deeper inside. The door chimed as it unlocked, announcing your arrival.
“Finally!” someone called. “Did you bring drinks or just yourselves?”
“We brought Y/N,” Jungwon answered proudly, kicking off his shoes.
A head poked around the corner and Heeseung’s face immediately lit up. “Oh, hey!”
The living room had already been transformed into an impromptu dinner setup. Takeout containers covered the small table and the members had begun to take their seats on the floor. You trailed in after Ni-ki, watching the spots fill up and hesitated, unsure where to sit. Before you could overthink it, Ni-ki extended a hand out, grabbing your pant leg and tugging you ever-so-slightly closer to him. You complied immediately, squeezing in the space between him and Jake.
Most of dinner was spent simply observing the conversations around you. Even though you knew each of the members individually now, you still found it fun to sit back and watch the way they interacted with each other. Jay would insist there was a proper way to eat fried chicken, while Jake deliberately did the opposite just to annoy him. Sunghoon ate happily in silence while Sunoo took part in every conversation. Ni-ki would steal food from the other member’s plates so casually it was obvious it wasn’t the first — or hundredth — time he’d done it.
“So, Y/N,” Jake spoke up beside you. “You’re almost done with school right?”
You nodded, gulping down water before talking. “I have two final exams and two final essays all happening next week.”
“I’m so glad I’m not in school anymore,” he mumbled, shaking his head and taking another bite of chicken. “Can we go to your graduation?”
You paused, shocked he would even be interested in attending. “Do you want to go?”
“I mean, yeah.” He shrugged like it was an obvious answer. “You’ve been talking about graduating since we met.”
“And you talk about homework every other day,” Sunoo chimed in through a mouthful of food.
“And you complained about your professors giving you homework right after midterms,” Jungwon added.
“And you made us quiz you with flashcards a couple times,” said Heeseung.
“At this point, I feel like I’m graduating with you,” Jay said.
Jake looked back at you. “So when is it?”
You had to rack your brain to remember the date. “The twenty-third. 10am, I think.”
More chatter erupted about schedules and dates and how they were all going to put it in their calendars. You were touched to know that they cared enough to actually want to see you walk the stage even when you’d only known them for around 2 months.
“Can I go?” Ni-ki leaned in so only you could hear him. You turned your head. “Even if they can’t, can I go?”
A tiny smile tugged at your lips and you subtly grabbed his hand beneath the table. “I want you to come.”
The night progressed. You hadn’t intended to stay too long but a couple hours passed and you were still there. After dinner, Jay had pulled out a dumb card game, insisting on teaching you how to play, Sunoo brought dessert to the table, someone turned on Mario Kart on the TV. Throughout it all, you stayed close to Ni-ki trying to always be holding hands or touching knees. Because the end of your college career was almost to an end, you needed to hide away and study. And on top of that, Enhypen’s manager had stated that with the release of your dating article, the two of you should not see each other as frequently. It wasn’t a bad idea — avoiding contact long enough for the dumpster fire to die down — but it did mean that there would be longer periods between your charging now.
“I should really leave,” you said, already halfway to the door and going through your second round of goodbyes. The hour was nearly midnight and you wanted to catch the last subway train before they closed for the night.
“Are you sure?” Jake wiggled one of the remotes in your direction. “You don’t want a rematch?”
Seeing as you had been annihilated just a couple minutes earlier, no, you did not want a rematch. “I’m okay, I’ll see you guys in a couple days and we can run it back then.”
He made a face but didn’t argue.
“Y/N, wait,” Ni-ki calls, holding his phone out to you.
Your brows furrowed when you saw an article pulled up. “We’re not supposed to be reading those, remember—?”
“I know,” he butted in, scrolling up to the top so you could read the title.
You frowned, taking the phone from his hands to see better. When the article loaded fully, you felt panic rise in your throat once more.
‘Fans Protest Enhypen Ni-ki’s New Relationship with a Protest.’
The picture attached was an image of a crowd gathered outside HYBE’s headquarters, many held signs, some had megaphones and were shouting phrases you could only imagine.
“Why are you showing me this?” you asked, handing the phone back quickly when you saw a sign with your blurred face on it. It was a zoomed-in photo of the two of you at the library where your face was covered, but it was your face nonetheless.
He scrolled to another picture, this time it was a photo of your apartment building. Crazed fans stood outside of the building, straining against the building’s security. You froze completely. “They’re outside my apartment??”
“They don’t know what you look like yet but I bet they’re hoping they’ll recognize you when you go home,” he said, looking at you with concern. “I don’t like the idea of you going back there.”
“Where am I supposed to go?” You looked up at him, feeling the full weight of your earlier decision. Of course the fans weren’t going to be happy. How could they have a parasocial relationship with a man dating his soulmate? Maybe it would have been better to deny everything and continue hiding. Maybe you should get extreme plastic surgery. Maybe you should just move into the HYBE building and never leave so no one would ever see you.
“Is everything okay?” Jungwon peered over at the two of you, clearly sensing something was wrong.
“Y/N is going to stay here tonight,” Ni-ki announced, turning his phone off and sliding it into his pocket. Your eyes widened in shock and you spun around to face him fully.
Sunoo spoke up before you could protest. “Really???”
“But— I don’t have anything with me,” you said, looking down at your empty hands and backpack that only held your laptop and single notebook. What about clothes? What about a toothbrush? What about a phone charger?
Ni-ki grabbed your hand and pulled you away from the door to prevent you from attempting to put your shoes on and escape. “You’re gonna be fine, let me show you my room.” He gave a quick goodbye to the rest of the members lounging in the living room and swept you off to a separate corner of the dorm.
He told you to drop your backpack off by his desk and you listened, staring at your surroundings. You had never been in here before, it was cozy and so, very Ni-ki. You liked that you could see bits and pieces of him in every item he had collected.
“Do you want pants or shorts?” he asked you over his shoulder, rummaging through his dresser drawers.
“I think your pants are gonna be a foot too long,” you joked and he handed you a pair of comfortable black shorts.
“Do you want a shirt too?”
“Yes, please…” you said sheepishly, becoming more and more nervous about the situation.
Yes, he had stayed the night in your apartment before, but now you were in his room. It was an entirely different kind of intimacy. And you would be wearing his clothes.
He tossed a soft gray T-shirt onto the bed and turned towards the door. “I’ll leave so you can change.”
“Thank you,” you said softly. “I only need a minute. I’ll be quick.”
“No rush,” he replied, and gave you a smile. “And you don’t need to thank me. My clothes are yours.”
Your heart immediately decided this was something to make a big deal of and your mouth went dry. You could only smile in response, dropping it as soon as the door clicked behind him. Why were you so nervous? Why was it hard to speak? You stared at the closed for a long moment before letting out the breath you’d apparently been holding and muttered “get it together” under your breath.
The clothes were comfortable, sliding across your skin easily. The fit — already being baggy on him — practically swallowed you up, but you were not one to complain. The shorts sat low on your hips, even when you tightened the drawstrings a significant amount, and the shirt hung down to the middle of your thighs. You pressed the collar of the shirt against your face for a half second before realizing exactly what you were doing and immediately pulled it away again. Heat rushed to your cheeks again. You had officially lost your mind.
Before you could do anything else weird, you reached for the door and prepared to call Ni-ki back into the room but froze when you heard the conversation outside.
“You guys are dating?” a voice you assumed to be Sunghoon’s asked.
“That’s what the article says,” Ni-ki replied.
“But like, actually dating? Not just soulmates— dating?” This voice was Sunoo.
There was a beat of silence and you found yourself leaning just a little closer to the door.
“You guess?” Jake laughed. “Bro, I feel like that’s something you should know.”
“I mean…” You could practically hear him rubbing the back of his neck. “We talked about it.”
Sunoo’s eyeroll didn’t need to be seen to be felt through the door. “But you like her don’t you?”
The room went noticeably quieter and you held your breath. Heeseung broke it first. “You do, don’t you.”
“You’re literally smiling.”
A pillow hit somebody with a muffled thump.
“That wasn’t for you,” Sunoo said.
“Then don’t miss.” Another pillow flew.
Jungwon spoke up again. “Guys, shut up. He needs to answer the question.”
“I don’t need to answer anything.”
“When was the first time you realized?”
There was another pause and you found yourself unconsciously gripping the doorknob.
You froze. That meant that he did like you, right? He didn’t deny it. He had two chances now to say he didn’t but he hadn’t taken them. The room felt like it was getting hotter. You snapped out of your thoughts just in time to hear footsteps heading in your direction and immediately ran from the door to the bed. You had barely managed to fix your hair and cross your legs before a knock came.
“Are you decent?” Ni-ki’s voice floated through the door.
You told him to come in, doing a once over of your clothes before the door opened slowly. Making eye contact felt harder this time. Maybe it’s because you were in his bed, or maybe it’s because you were in his clothes. Maybe it’s because the two of you were public in a relationship now, or maybe it’s because you heard him admit to liking you. Whatever it was made your head spin and your heart race.
“It’s already pretty late. I can get you a toothbrush and show you where the bathroom is,” he said, visibly scanning you in his clothes.
You agreed quickly, getting fidgety beneath his gaze. He led you down the hallway to the shared bathroom, handing you a spare toothbrush. You weren’t sure what you had expected but you were pleasantly surprised when he stood next to you in the mirror, brushing his teeth with you. Neither of you said much, exchanging only brief glances through the mirror. A couple time you couldn’t help but smile at the awkwardness, finding it almost endearing.
Back in the room, he pulled a fresh towel from his closet and nodded in your direction towards the bed. “I’ll shower,” he said quietly. “You can just get in bed. Don’t wait up.”
It felt empty when he left again. You plugged your phone into a charger he had given you, folded your clothes into a neat pile beside your backpack, and climbed beneath the blankets. It was impossible not to notice how everything smelled like him. You were surrounded by remnants of his cologne everywhere. From the bed you could hear the other members slowly turning in for the night. Doors closed, conversations died, the light emanating from behind the bedroom door went out. Pipes hummed somewhere in the walls as the shower continued to run.
The mattress dipped gently as he climbed beneath the blankets beside you. When you rolled over to look at him he seemed surprised, even in the dark.
“You’re awake?” he asked.
You gave a small smile and nodded. “I was waiting.”
He rested on his side, gazing at you from the small distance between you. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“But I wanted to,” you replied simply.
He grinned back. Your eyes dropped afterwards, not sure what to say — if there was even anything to say. The bed shifted slightly again before he said, “You don’t have to lay on the edge, you know.”
“I don’t want to hog the bed.”
That was partially true. You also (for some reason) didn’t know how to act. This wasn’t any different than any other time the two of you shared a bed in the past. But it was.
“If I didn’t want you in my bed then you would be sleeping on the couch,” he said so matter-of-factly you couldn’t help but laugh.
“A compelling argument,” you smile, scooting a little bit closer.
You wanted to hold his hand, you wanted to be wrapped in his arms like the last time you spent the night together, but something was holding you back. He gazed over at you, one arm tucked under his head and the other only a couple inches from yours between you on the mattress. You watched his fingers play with the sheets, afraid to look up and meet his eyes.
“You’re thinking really hard about something,” he noted.
You blinked, letting out a breath and said, “I am not,” looking up just in time to see him bite his lip to hold back a laugh.
“You are. You get this line right here—” he pointed between his own eyebrows “—when you overthink.”
Without thinking, your hand flew to your forehead. His grin grew.
“Oh my gosh,” you groaned, rubbing the area to smooth out ‘wrinkles’ left behind by the habit. “I don’t make that face.”
You laughed despite yourself. “I hate that you’ve noticed that.”
“I notice lots of things.”
His smile faltered first, then yours. He wasn’t looking at your forehead anymore. He was just looking at you. It became painfully obvious that he was close enough to count the strands of hair whisped across your face. He was close enough that beneath the covers you could feel the heat of his body without even touching him. He was so warm…
Your heart gave one hard, traitorous thud and you swallowed. Every part of your body wanted to close the distance between the two of you and let his body completely engulf yours, to let his smell and touch invade all of your senses. But you couldn’t. He was different now. He was still your soulmate — a drunk kid you found in a slide — but he didn’t feel like just a soulmate. He wasn’t anymore. When you first met, you were of course nervous. This international star was your destined soulmate, the person that you would spend the rest of your life with and rely on. You were scared because you didn’t want to inconvenience him and you wanted to live up to his expectations and needs. What if you weren’t good enough? Or funny enough? Or pretty enough? What if he had been disappointed? Or frustrated? Or angry that it was you he was stuck with? You had been nervous because of the pressure of needing and being needed by another person. But that’s not what made you nervous now. It wasn’t the bond. It was Ni-ki.
You knew how to live with the bond now. You’d learned it, lived with it, trusted its signs. You knew how to charge him. You knew the look on his face when he was tired, the way to subtly grab his hand when he needed reassurance, which snacks to sneak him when he was supposed to be on a diet. You knew when he was lying, and you knew when he was pretending to be fine. But this wasn’t about soulmates anymore. This was about a boy.
A boy who smiled at you when you walked into a room. A boy who quietly always brought two drinks instead of one because he knew you’d be there. A boy who skipped practice to be with you. A boy that always asked you to text him when you got home safely. A boy who had spent months showing you exactly how he felt through quiet, ordinary gestures. A boy who just admitted, whether he’d meant for you to hear it or not — that he liked you.
Ni-ki reached a finger out, pressing it between your eyebrows. “You’re doing it again.”
The warmth of his fingertip lasted all of a half second. You stared at him. He noticed, his hand lingered awkwardly in the space between you before quickly pulling back. His eyes were soft on you, like he was trying to figure out what was going on inside your head. The worst part was, he seemed to notice something had changed. Your mouth ran dry and you fought your thought, urging yourself to say something — anything. Instead, you just looked at him. And he looked back. Your gaze flickered down before you could stop it. It was barely long that if anyone else had been watching they wouldn’t have noticed. But of course he did. After all, he noticed everything.
Your stomach dropped and you broke eye contact immediately. “I think…” you mumbled, suddenly fascinated by the sheets between you, “...I need to get some water.”
“You didn’t wait for an answer. If you stayed in that bed another thirty seconds, you were almost certain you were going to do something either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid. And you simply couldn’t.
It was completely dark in the dorm now. All the other members had gone to sleep. You stood alone in the kitchen, absentmindedly holding a glass beneath the running faucet. The water reached the rim, kept going, and began to spill over your fingers, disappearing down the drain. You needed to get it together. The second he admits he likes you, your entire brain forgets how to function? You weren’t fourteen. You were a grown woman, a college student. You had survived organic chemistry. Surely you could survive lying next to one boy.
You turned the faucet off and raised the glass to your lips. The water was cold but it did nothing to cool the heat in your face. You couldn’t go back to the room yet. Maybe if you waited long enough, Ni-ki would be asleep and you could sneak back in. Burrowing into his side while he was sleeping wasn’t a problem for you, but when he was looking at you with those dark eyes of his… You just decided to wait him out.
The curtains were drawn in the living room but you walked over and opened them up, just enough to watch passing cars and people from several floors above. You placed the glass on the small table near the window and moved to the glass, pulling your phone from the pocket of his shorts. The screen lit your face as soon as you unlocked it, forcing you to squint and adjust to the light. Of course you knew better, but your fingers moved instinctually and opened the articles anyway.
The headlines were blaring, always paired with an invasive picture regarding the two of you. As always, differing opinions swirled online. Some called the two of you romantic, saying it was sweet to see Ni-ki openly dating a girl and wishing the best for you. Some were less generous. People insisted the company was lying about the soulmate bond to cover up an ordinary relationship. A comment had labeled him ‘the youngest playboy in K-pop’ and you as ‘the clout chasing rebound.’ Others picked apart your clothes, your posture, the way Ni-ki looked at you. How had all of this happened in the past few hours? You scrolled faster.
More photos of protests. Fans were leaving signs outside of Hybe, some were editing pictures of the group and shading Ni-ki out. Banners were left in public demanding that he end the relationship and choose his fans instead.
“You’re not supposed to look at those, you know,” Ni-ki leaned against the wall, peering at you from around the corner. His hair was still slightly damp from the shower, falling messily across his forehead. In the darkness, you could only make out the outline of his face and the faint shine of his eyes.
You locked your phone instantly, sliding it back into the pocket and looking towards him. “It’s not a big deal,” you said, but you were visibly bothered.
He crossed the kitchen and living room slowly, stopping beside you at the window. He wasn’t looking at you now, choosing instead to watch the city below. Cars drifted through the streets, their headlights tracing white lines across the pavement. Somewhere in the distance, a siren echoed between buildings before fading into the night.
“I thought you’d be asleep,” you murmured when he didn’t say anything else.
“I thought you’d come back.”
He shot you a look. “Really?”
A smile tugged at the corner of your mouth but you said nothing, choosing to turn back to the window. “It’s pretty,” you said after a minute. It was entertaining to watch all of the little people bustling around and imagine where they were going.
“It is.” His voice was softer now. “I don’t get to look at it much.”
You glanced over. “What do you mean?”
“Everything’s too fast.” He nodded backwards towards the rest of the apartment. “Practice, members, hotels. It doesn’t really stop.”
The answer caught you off guard. You’d never considered that. To you, the city was a place to wander. To him, it was something to move through.
A laugh escaped him. “Yeah, this is nice.”
A bus crawled through an intersection below. People frantically ran down the sidewalk to make it in time and board at their stop.
“Sometimes,” Ni-ki said after a while, “I wonder what it’d be like if nobody knew who I was.”
You pondered over his words, frowning slightly to yourself, trying to imagine a world where Ni-ki wasn’t a headline. It was hard.
“I think you’d still dance,” you said with almost certainty.
“I hope so,” he sighed. “I think I’d go out often.”
“I bet you would like it,” you agreed, recalling different clubs and bars scattered throughout the city. “I would take you. If I knew you.”
“I would find you,” he said.
You paused, refusing to look at him no matter how badly you wanted to. “I bet the odds of finding your soulmate are slim in every universe.”
“Even if you weren’t my soulmate,” he spoke further, “I would still ask you to dinner.”
For some reason, your heart stumbled. It was a simple sentence, just a singular thought, but it meant something. “Really?”
He turned his body towards you, leaning his upper body against the glass. “Yeah.” There was no hesitation or embarrassment in his tone. “I think,” he let out a small breath through his nose, “people keep acting like I don’t have a choice. You know, with the bond. Like fate or the company makes the decisions for me.” His shoulders lifted in a slight shrug and his eyes found yours again. “Nobody ever asks what I want.”
His gaze was intense and the air between you seemed to still. Quietly you whispered, “And what do you want?”
A small smile appeared on his face. “You.”
You felt your cheeks begin to glow and your lips turn upwards. He had confessed his feelings to the group earlier, but was he confessing them to you now?
“I know it hasn’t been easy,” he continued, his voice somehow still quiet in the silent dorm. “And I don’t think it’ll get any easier — the articles, the people outside of your apartment.” He glanced down for a moment before looking back to your face. His eyes pulled yours to his like a magnet, holding them there. “If you ever decided it was too much…” He swallowed. “I wouldn’t blame you.”
Your eyebrows pulled together.
“But if it’s up to me,” he smiled again, “I’d still choose this.”
Something tightened in your chest. “You’d choose… this?”
You couldn’t think of a single thing to say. For months you’d wondered if the soulmate bond had stolen his free will, you’d convinced yourself that every other act of kindness was due to your status as soulmate. Yet here he was, standing only a foot away, telling you that he would still choose you. Your heart was pounding so loudly you were convinced he could hear it. Suddenly all you wanted was to be closer. The only thoughts in your mind were about how you wish he would take your hand or grab your waist. You wanted him to fall asleep in your arms as you ran your fingers through his hair. The smell of his skin was already so intoxicating, you wondered how much better it would be to kiss him.
Your eyes drifted to his lips again before you could stop them. They lingered there for just a second before you forced yourself to look back up. Don’t do it.
To keep yourself restrained, you chose to speak. “So.. if there wasn’t a bond—”
“There isn’t one right now.”
“I mean,” he gestured slightly to the distance between the two of you, “we’re not charging. Neither of us is benefiting from it right now. We’re not talking because we have to be. I want to be.”
The words settled over you with surprising gentleness. Similar to the warmth that spread from his touch, his words left a blooming warmth in your stomach. Before you could say anything, he took a step closer.
“You’ve been overthinking all night,” he murmured.
A tiny, embarrassed smile escaped you. “How’d you know?” you asked in as a joke.
His own smile softened. Slowly, as though giving you a chance to pull away, he lifted a hand to your face. His fingertips brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear before resting lightly against your cheek. It took everything in you to not just hold eye contact, but to not start hyperventilating too. He leaned forward and you held your breath. The hand holding your face held you still as he gently kissed your forehead. Your eyes fluttered closed, only momentarily, and you felt your body relax under his touch. It was only a short gesture, but your head buzzed with energy.
When he pulled back, he looked down at you with an almost concerned look. “Let’s sleep. I don’t want you staying up and worrying about it anymore.”
You nodded automatically, although you hadn’t heard any of his words. Your mind was replaying the feeling of his lips on your skin, the softness of his words beforehand. Your eyes searched his face, trying to memorize every detail while he was this close — the mole under his eye and chin, his narrow eyes, somehow still full of emotion.
He looked down and grabbed your hand but your eyes never left his face. Even when he started to pull you back to the room, your feet stayed rooted in their spot. His eyes flicked from your joined hands, then back at you, confusion evident in his gaze.
He hummed quietly, oblivious to your heart about to spill from your chest.
“I don’t think—” you laughed nervously, your voice barely above a whisper. “—I don’t think that’s what I’ve been overthinking.”
He tilted his head, taking a step back in your direction. “Then what have you been thinking about?”
Your mouth opened but nothing came out. How on earth were you supposed to tell him you’d been thinking about him and how he made you feel and suddenly you were anxious around him because he wasn’t just a soulmate anymore? “I don’t know how to say it.”
Ni-ki shook his head. “You don’t have to.”
You shook yours back. “No, I think I do.”
The silence stretched between you. You looked back up at him to find him already watching you intently. He was so close. Close enough that all you could think about was how easy it would be to lean forward. Your eyes betrayed you again. They dropped. Just for a second. When they lifted, you saw his had flicked down just the same, an understanding passing between the two of you.
You weren’t sure who had moved first. Maybe neither of you had. Maybe the space between you had simply disappeared. It was quick. The minute your lips connected, your eyes closed and you let out a breath of relief. Your hand had let go of his and wrapped around his shoulders instead. It didn’t start slow. As soon as contact was made, he pushed forward, pressing your back to the window and tilting his head — he was just as hungry as you were. Your body felt like it was on fire, overwhelmed with the sensations of him. His hand gripped your waist and pulled your hips into him, you choked at the feeling. He noticed the stutter in your movements and slowed down instantly but still held you close. He gave one final, slow kiss before pulling back.
“Y/N,” he said, his voice deep and steady, “I really like you.”
The tension and uncertainty from before had melted. You knew exactly how you felt. “I really like you too.”
He smiled wide, bright and completely unguarded. His hands flexed against your waist as if he wasn’t quite sure what to do with them now. After everything that had just happened and his previous vulnerability, seeing him suddenly look a little shy made you smile.
“What?” he asked, catching you staring.
You shook your head. “Nothing.”
Heat crept onto his face almost instantly and he turned away. “Don’t say that.”
It probably wasn’t a good time to tell him that blushing like that made him cuter. You took his hand instead, leading him back towards his bedroom.
“Come on,” you said, pulling his arm. “You said we should sleep.”
He followed you without protest, stealing another kiss the moment the bedroom door clicked shut behind you. You crawled beneath the blankets together, instinctively finding each other in the dark. His arm settled around your waist, yours dropped lazily across his chest. He kissed you again, and again, the excitement and heat of the first kiss giving way to contentment.
Curled against his chest, you listened to the steady rhythm of his breathing. His thumb traced absent-minded circles against your side before eventually growing still. Sleep came easily, wrapped in the certainty that tomorrow would still find the two of you here, choosing each other all over again.
